The ANBU Genin
by blood-hybrid-of-darkness96
Summary: What would happen if Naruto had been adopted by Asuma Sarutobi? If he had to take a major demotion for the safety of the village? Follow along as he takes on the Shinobi World far better equipped, and far more deadly.
1. Chapter 1: A Mission Assigned

**Ah hello everybody! Welcome to my recently acquired, fanfic inspired, rewrite and re-tired 'The ANBU Genin'! This was greatly inspired by a fic of the same name by one sageof6way. I got his permission to write my own version of his early fic which was...less than desirable. Anywhosamawhatser, without further gilding the lily, and with no more ado, I give you siiiiirrrrrr uuulllllriiiiich von lichtenstein! Oh Gaia I crack myself up with that crap.**

 **Warning: This story will contain graphic depiction of violence and gore. Sexual themes will be present.**

 **Disclaimer: the usual spiel: I don't own Naruto, blah blah blah, copyrights, yadda yadda yadda. As per Usual I will only do this once.**

 **Chapter 1: A Mission Assigned**

"Are there any objections to the team placements?" an elderly man with greying hair and a pipe in his mouth asked to the room full of Jounin. A few murmurs of disappointment rang out from those few Shinobi who didn't get a genin squad or didn't get the team they wanted, but no-one said anything.

"Very well, you may all go," Sarutobi Hiruzen said as he looked back to the massive piles of paperwork that were always stacked on his desk. The aged Hokage sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Shadow, please come out."

Instantly, a form flickered into existence before the man, kneeling with one hand clenched, knuckles on the ground, and the other crossed over the raised knee.

"Yes, Hokage-sama?" the voice, though distorted by the mask, was obviously that of a young male, no older than ten.

"Take off your mask, you won't need it," the Third Hokage said as he shuffled through some papers, mostly requests for a certain blonde to be either exiled or executed.

"Hokage-sama?" the ANBU was clearly confused.

"I said, take off your mask. The assignment I'm about to give you won't require it."

The ANBU slowly, hesitatingly, reached up and removed the mask on his face, which was framed by wild, spiky locks of bright, sun-kissed blond hair, to reveal the stoic bewhiskered face of one Uzumaki-Namikze Naruto. His deep cerulean eyes glinted with confusion as he looked at his leader.

By day, Naruto was a well known prankster, and the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, as well ass the most hated member of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, or Konohagakure. But by night, he was one of the most deadly ninja in Fire Country: the ANBU Shadow. Very few people knew that Naruto was already a Shinobi, and even fewer knew he was ANBU. Only three actually: the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, his son Asuma, and the ANBU Commander, Dragon.

Among the other ANBU it was believed that Shadow was some generic child from a clan, who excelled beyond the level of Uchiha Itachi, because his mask had a permanent **Solid** __ **Henge** that changed his hair color to a generic Konoha brown **.** He never spoke, he never interacted beyond hand signals and nods. And he had a reputation for being more bloodthirsty than both Uchiha Madara and Orochimaru combined on the battlefield.

"Your assignment, Naruto-kun, is to become an Academy student and keep an eye on Uchiha Sasuke. After the massacre, he's become a flight risk. I need you to ensure he stays in the village, even if you must beat him within an inch of his life."

"Hai, Hokage-jiji," Naruto said as he stood and assumed his daytime posture, that of a loud-mouth prankster who couldn't do a Bunshin to save his life. He then handed his mask to the elderly man before him. "Does that mean I'll have to act like an idiot all the time and become dead last in the class I'm joining?"

Hiruzen nodded without looking up at his adopted grandson. Try as they might, the Civilian Council couldn't stop the Hokage himself from adopting the village Pariah. The fact that Konohagakure was legally a military dictatorship didn't hurt either. Naruto sighed heavily and rubbed his temples in a circular motion trying to ward off the head-ache that was already forming. It reminded him of when he was adopted into the Sarutobi clan.

 **Flashback**

 _"Where are we going jiji?" a four-year-old Naruto asked as Hiruzen led him along, holding his hand. The old man chuckled._

 _"We're going home, Naruto-kun."_

 _"But jiji, my house is on the other side of town, in the opposite way." Naruto was intelligent for his age, a little slow on the uptake, but intelligent. The fact was the boy could be considered a genius. His pranks always went off perfectly, and usually were so multifaceted, that if you saw it coming, you wouldn't see the four other parts flying at you, which proved that the boy could do complex math, incorporating physics as well as human reaction, in his head. Not to mention he was a natural at psychology and reading people. He once made Ibiki Morino spill his greatest secret with one sentence._

 _But because of his well-known status, and his virtually unknown parentage, the Civilian Council barred him from any kind of schooling, and he was ignored to the point that he almost attempted suicide because he felt so lonely._

 _"Not anymore Naruto-kun. Now, you live with me and my family." suspicion flashed in the young child's eyes, and his voice took a steel edge, as sharp as any kunai._

 _"Jiji, that's a cruel joke. We both know the council won't let me happy." The way he said it, like it was cold, hard, irrefutable fact broke Hiruzen's heart._

 _"They have no say, Naruto-kun. My family has legally adopted you, and anyone who doesn't like it will have to deal with it," he stated softly, looking at the boy, who was slowly beginning to realize that it wasn't a joke. His eyes began to light up, before something occurred to him._

 _"Will I have to call you tou-san now?" he sounded genuinely dismayed. Hiruzen chuckled._

 _"No, Naruto-kun, you still call me jiji. I didn't adopt you, my son Asuma did. He felt left behind by the fact his younger sister, now your aunt Kasi, is having a child in a few months while he has yet to make any move on his crush. So, he decided to adopt you because he knew you needed a family."_

 _"Asuma-sama? You mean square-beard?" Naruto asked with a foxlike squint at his jiji, and the Kami of Shinobi had to bust out laughing at the nickname._

 _"Yes, Naruto-kun, square-beard is your new tou-san." He managed between his laughter._

 _During the course of the small conversation, they had made it to the Sarutobi compound, and were greeted by a small crowd of people. At the front was a tall man with a thin line of chin hair, which connected his side-burns to his chin with a triangular goatee, he wore a standard Konoha Jounin flak jacket, and had a white cloth on his waist, with the kanji for 'fire'. His brown hair was swept back behind his headband. An unlit cigarette hung from his mouth and he leaned against the wall in a relaxed manner, talking to a plain-looking man._

 _On his other side stood a woman of average height, but with a petite build and her stomach heavy with a child. She had long brown hair that reached down to her waist, and was held to the side with a hair clip. A gentle smile graced her face as the man with the cigarette cracked a small joke._

 _Naruto shuffled behind the robe of his jiji, nervous around so many people, as it usually led to beatings and death threats._

 _Just then, Asuma saw his father and his new son, and his face lit up in a brilliant reassuring smile. "Hey, come on out."_

 _With a nudge from the aged Hokage, Naruto shuffled out of hiding and scuffed the ground with his two-sizes-too-small sandals._

 _Asuma knelt down and rested his hand on Naruto's head. "It's all okay now, Naru-chan. You're home musuko," he said quietly so only the boy could hear him as he moved his hand to his shoulder._

 _Tears sprang up in Naruto's eyes as he finally heard someone call him 'my son', which had been his greatest dream since he could understand he had no family. To be loved._

 _"Tou-chan..." he sobbed out quietly as he lunged into Asuma's arms and began wailing into his shoulder as the man wrapped his arms around the boy in a protective hug._

 _"Shhh. It's alright now." the boy sobbed harder and wouldn't stop for another hour._

 **End Flashback**

Over the past six years Naruto had been trained to be Shinobi, and risen through the ranks quite quickly. He'd been a Chuunin at the age of eight, Tokubetsu Jonin at nine, and half a year later been put into the ANBU Black-Ops. He'd originally wanted to be Kitsune, Fox, but both Dragon and Hiruzen thought it would be a dead giveaway with his hair, so he was assigned to Codename Shadow, the only ANBU to not have an animal mask. And he lived up to his name; he could disappear without a trace in seconds.

Asuma chose that moment to walk in without knocking. "Hey pops, hey Naru. What's going on?"

"Jiji just gave me an assignment," Naruto grumbled loudly, crossing his arms for added effect, and stuck his lower lip out in a pout. "Tou-chan, can you make him take it back?" he pleaded his dad, breaking out his most vicious weapon: the fox eyes beg no jutsu. Asuma nearly caved right there, without knowing what the mission was.

"Wha-what's the mission?" he managed to get out after looking away from his manipulative son.

"I have to go to the academy for three years and keep an eye on Sasuke. I'll legally be bumped back to civilian until graduation! And then I'll be a Genin! Dad, I'll have to go through all that crap all over again!" he shouted loudly, quite aware the Hokage had already activated the privacy seals in the room.

Asuma looked at his father. "Really pops?"

"Plus I have to intentionally be dead last!" Asuma groaned loudly and facepalmed.

"Unfortunately, that is the only way to ensure that he ends up on the same team as Sasuke, considering Sasuke is Rookie of the Year, and doesn't seem to be anywhere close to losing his position. So, yes, Naruto-kun must play the part of an idiot."

"Is he at least getting paid for this?"

"S-rank, every month with his 'allowance'," Hiruzen said calmly without looking up from his papers. It was obviously a losing fight. Suddenly Naruto stiffened momentarily, before relaxing again.

"Jiji, Shimura Danzo is about to enter the tower, presumably to request I be immediately trained by ROOT again, since he doesn't know I'm already a Shinobi."

"How do you..."

"Shadow Clones, Jiji."

A look of understanding flashed across Hiruzen's face, then a quick sequence of realization, irritation, and pure loathing.

"BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!" each one punctuated by his slamming his face onto the desk while his hands tear at his hair. Both Naruto and Asuma were about to jump forward, fearing the man had gone crazy, but he stood quickly and formed Naruto's favorite hand sign.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" three solid clones popped into being, then immediately began in on the paperwork, grumbling slightly. "How I never connected the dots on that, I'll never know! 'The Professor' my ancient ass!" Asuma gaped at his father, then chuckled slightly. Naurto had a much more extreme reaction; he began rolling on the ground clutching his stomach, laughing so hard it could be heard through the privacy seals.

"Oh be quiet, Naruto-kun," snapped his grandfather. Naruto was instantaneously standing at attention, his face completely straight.

"Good. Now then, seeing as you start school in three months, a year late I might add, you must get into the habit of _sleeping_ during the night, and not taking occasional naps during the day," a look of abject horror came over the blond jinchuuriki's face. He hadn't actually slept in three years, not since the night terrors had begun.

"Oh come on jiji! I'll be fine! Just please don't make me take more than naps!" he was on his knees, clawing at the Hokage robes with tears beginning to stream down his face.

"Why are you so afraid of sleeping Naruto-kun?"

"Pops...Naru has night terrors. If he's asleep longer than thirty minutes, he begins thrashing and screaming. He woke up Konohamaru quite a few times before he started the nap schedule," Asuma explained as he pulled his son from the ground and gave him a fatherly hug while shushing him quietly. While Naruto was a hardened warrior, he was still a child who cried for his daddy. Asuma still didn't know what the terrors were actually about, but he knew they always left Naruto absolutely broken, clinging to him for days on end. He wondered what could make on of the deadliest Ninja in Fire Nation cry like a baby and act like a scared four-year-old again, but then again, he really didn't want to know.

Shock registered on Hiruzen's face, and he looked at Naruto, who was cowering behind Asuma, an action so unusual the past few years, it made him realize just how bad the dreams must be.

"Very well, but you must act like a ten-year-old boy who has had no previous training, understood?" Naruto nodded quickly, fully willing to act like a loud-mouth idiot twenty-four/seven as long as he didn't have to sleep long enough for the dreams to set in.

"Ok Naruto-kun, go home. You have some adjusting to do."


	2. Chapter 2: The Start of School

**A/N: Okay, my first review for this fic, and I must say: Random Fangirl? Thank you! YOU are the reason I write. Your reaction is just so perfect I want to hug you! Please spread the word to your fanfic-reading friends, and check out the other fics I have up, and more to come! Seriously guys, this one anonymous girl somewhere out the in internetverse made me do something I never do: I did the 'oh stop it you' meme OUT LOUD. Like seriously, anyone who knows me will tell you, I have no outward reaction. Like Itachi-senpai. But this one girl made me smile. So again I say, thank you. This chapter is devoted to you Fangirl Number 1! You will forever hold a special place in my authoring heart!**

 **Chapter 2: The Start of School**

Three months had passed quickly for Naruto, but conversely they were the longest months of his entire life. Every day dragged on for an eternity, and every week flashed by in a blink. ( **if you don't know the feeling you have never been to public school** ) The entire summer had been filled with Naruto trying to adjust to not going out on missions, or standing guard over something every night. To being a 'normal' ten-year-old boy.

The boy was miserable. He had to stay inside the Sarutobi compound at night, because the villagers, ignorant to the fact he could kill them before they could draw breath, still attempted their ritualistic beatings of his person. So he did what any ten-year-old ANBU-turned-civilian would do during the darker hours; he planned his pranks. And then he sprang them the next day. It would get boring otherwise.

But, as Naruto walked to the Academy beside his adopted father, he could hear the whisper of the Shinobi hopefuls about him. Well, the whispers, and then the ungodly shriek of the ultimate bane of sensitive ears; the pink-haired ban- young girl by the name of Haruno Sakura.

"Who's that Ino-pig?!" came the shrill scream, which was _apparently_ supposed to be a whisper.

Naruto was in mere moments, rolling on the ground, clutching his ears, a thin trail of blood flowing between his fingers on both sides, screaming in absolute agony.

"OH KAMI, MAKE IT STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF THE SHINIGAMI SOMEONE MAKE IT END!" echoed throughout the entire Village.

 **Elsewhere in the Village**

A very cold shiver ran down the spine of one very average-looking woman. Well, average except for one trait; her bright bubble-gum pink hair.

"Why do I have a sudden urge to strangle my daughter?" one bemused Haruno Meobiki asked out loud, to which several of her fellow council members snickered quietly.

 **Back at the academy**

"Naru, I think you can let go of your ears now. The prank is over," Asuma sighed as he watched Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto slowly rise from the ground, wiggling his pinky in his right ear.

"WHAT?" he shouted, quite obviously unable to hear for the time being.

"THE PRANK IS OVER!" Asuma shouted.

"WHAT PRANK? SOMEONE PLAYED A PRANK?" Asuma facefaulted as he realized his son wasn't joking, he really had been affected like that.

" **STOP SHOUTING YOU BAKA!** " was quickly punctuated by another scream of agony. Asuma stepped over to the perpetrator, and grabbed her face, lifting her effortlessly by her jaw.

"Either shut up and stop hurting my son, or I swear to Kami-sama, you will never speak again," he growled threateningly as he glowered at the now-terrified banshee. "Do I make myself clear?" all he got was an enthusiastic nod in response. He let her fall out of his grip as he stepped back to Naruto and helped him. When he got the attention of the boy, he mouthed some words.

"Okay, good luck, and remember; class moron." Naruto merely nodded and shot a hateful glare at Sakura, who wilted even further. He stalked past and entered the building, leaving everyone else outside. Class didn't start for another thirty minutes anyway. He also managed to notice the obviously very shy girl shadowing him. He cast a discreet glance at her.

She stood with her knees together, and her feet pointed inward, indicative of extreme timidness. He short indigo hair was cut hime-style, with two bangs framing her face, while the rest barely reached her ears. She wore a beige jacket and matching blue shinobi pants and sandals. Her eyes were a light lavender, and held great gentleness in them.

 _Hyuuga Hinata,_ Naruto thought to himself. He had heard from some of the Hyuuga ANBU members her general description, and how she was apparently unfit to be the Hyuuga heiress, simply because she was kind and couldn't perform the Jyuuken properly. _She likely doesn't have the same elemental affinity as most Hyuuga. The Jyuuken is made specifically for the Earth affinity, and so is rigid and stiff. Considering all I heard about how she can dodge anything effortlessly just by twitching, I'd guess she has a more flexible body type, likely a Fire or Water affinity._

Naruto shrugged to himself and continued his walk to class. He wasn't there to keep an eye on the Hyuuga girl, though he might anyway, so she wasn't really his concern. He just made it to class when the bell rang, initiating the massive stampede of students to get to class. He sat down in a corner desk at the back of the room, where he could see everything, just as two girls broke through the door, leaning on each other and glaring fiercely. One was that horrible pink-haired monstrosity from outside, but the other was a blonde, like himself.

 _Long, platinum blonde hair tied into a ponytail, light bluish-green eyes, and unhealthily thin. This must be Yamanaka-sama's daughter Ino._ Also not his objective, but interesting nonetheless. One could tell from her halfhearted glare at the Bubble, that she wasn't really interested in their competition, but kept it up for appearances.

"FIRST!" they both shouted at the same time.

 ** _Must these insolent whelps be so loud? I was taking a nap!_**

 _Kurama, we both know any spawn of that satanic councilwoman is going to be louder and more annoying than a dog whistle. As for the Yamanaka, she wasn't actually all that loud. Her heart doesn't seem to be in this apparent rivalry._

 _ **Still, the banshee woke me up, so maybe I could just...**_

 _No._

 ** _But..._**

 _No._ Kurama, the terrifying Kyuubi no Kitsune, grumbled unhappily for a moment, before going quiet. Naruto smirked.

"Who're you?" he was snapped out of his reverie to see a boy about his height, wearing a grey jacket with brown fur around the collar. His short brown hair was messy and wild, and his pupils were slits. This, compounded with his red fang tatoos on his cheeks, and the small white ninkin poking it's head out of his jacket, and the boy could only be an Inuzuka.

Naruto immediately fell into his 'idiot routine' and grinned foxlike.

"I'm Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto! Nice ta meetcha!" the Inuzuka's face paled considerably and his mouth fell open.

"Sarutobi? As in the _Hokage_ Sarutobi?!" a few heads turned at this, including the one person Naruto actually knew in this class; the lazy-assed pineapple. Nara Shikamaru. An enthusiastic nod on Naruto's part ensued.

"Yeah! He's my Jiji!"

"Oh man, what a drag... Naruto, when did you start at the academy?" came a lazy drawl, followed by the sound of chips crunching.

"Shika! I didn't know you were in this class! I started today! Dattebayo!" Naruto suddenly froze at the last. Oh how he _hated_ that verbal tick. Whenever he got excited, which wasn't often nowadays, he would suddenly shout it out, much to the amusement of everyone in the vicinity. He heard from his dad how it was very much like Uzumaki Kushina's _Dattebane_ , which he found odd, considering they shared a verbal tick _and_ a last name, but he left it alone at the request of his Jiji.

" _munch munch munch_ What was that Shika? Some kind of catchphrase or something?" this was said by a fairly heavy boy who was wearing a green overcoat and a scarf around his neck. He had his hair split by a bandanna and was eating out of a bag of chips. Naruto's brow crinkled. _Akimichi Choji as well? Are ALL the clan heirs in this class?_ He cast a quick look around and saw the icing on the cake; a fairly tall boy wearing a large overcoat that covered most of his face and body. His sunglasses glinted slightly and his hair looked a lot like Asuma's. _Aburame Shino...it seems the only clan heir our age that ISN'T here is the Kurama clan heir._

"Troublesome...it's a verbal tick he has. He can't control it." a few _ooohhh_ 's of understanding followed from everyone. "You're a year late in joining, Naruto."

"Yeah, Jiji said he wanted me to wait for some reason," was Naruto's reply before the most horrifying sight ever popped into his vision. The Chuunin sensei of the class came in, and seeing all the student's talking without seeming to be close to stopping, blew his head up to demonic proportions and screamed at them loudly.

"SHUT UP YOU BRATS! SIT DOWN NOW!" Naruto shuddered at how effective the technique was. He had heard stories of Umino Iruka's **demon head jutsu** , but always thought it was hogwash. Now he obviously had other views. _Holy Kami...that might be as terrifying as Jiji's KI!_

"Now then, class, we have a new student this year!" his eyes zeroed in on Naruto, and a minuscule trace of utter loathing appeared in his face, but quickly disappeared, replaced by a professional attitude. "Why don't you come up and introduce yourself?" Naruto rose, bouncing with excitement, or he appeared to.

"My name is Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto Dattebayo! I like Ramen, and my friend Shikamaru! He always gets me thinking!" a few eyes wandered to Shikamaru, who just grumbled quietly and rolled his head in the opposite direction. "I don't like when people are mean to others for something beyond their control, and traitors," at this, the Uchiha scion finally looked up at Naruto, his eyes glinting dangerously, as if to say _continue that train of thought, I dare you._ A smirk formed on Naruto's face. "And I hope to one day take the title of Hokage for myself! Dattebayo!"

A snort of laughter from the Inuzuka, and a smaller one from the Uchiha, had Naruto develop a tick mark on his forehead, but before he could say anything, Iruka pushed him in the direction of his seat, admittedly with a little more force than was warranted.

"Thank you, Naruto! Now class, since this is a class of second-years, we'll be diving right into the history of Hi no Kuni. I hope everyone is ready." Naruto almost grimaced. _He's acting as though I should know the material that was covered last year. He's good at hiding it, but he sees me as Kurama. Great._

 _ **Kit, you should pull that prank later today.**_

 _You don't mean..._

 ** _Yes! Oh please? I want to see the look on his face when it happens!_** Naruto smiled maliciously, causing everyone in the room to suddenly shiver as though the hand of the Shinigami had passed through them.

Deciding to ignore it, Iruka kept teaching. After about five minutes, Naruto decided that he'd had enough and chose to begin acting like an idiot.

"Ugggghhhhhh," he groaned loudly. "Boring! Iruka-sensei, can't we do something _outside?_ "

Iruka opened his mouth, presumably to yell at him, but Naruto cut him off. "Well, I plan to go outside! Later!" he then jumped to the window, opened it, and bolted through it. He heard a few scuffles and sensed people following him.

"GET BACK HERE YOU FOUR!" Iruka yelled after them. Naruto looked back to see Shikamaru, Choji, and Kiba running right behind him. Kiba laughed loudly, then whooped.

"Oh man! I like this guy already!"

"Troublesome blonds..." Shika said with a smile. Naruto just laughed.

Maybe being a Genin again with people his age wouldn't be so bad.


	3. Chapter 3: Being Watched

**A/N: okay, I'm updating for two very important reasons. Fangirl Kisa(random assed fangirl #1) is STILL making me blush vehemently, so thank you! And second, hornet07, I apologize if it seems I am bashing, but actually I really like Sakura as a character. But even I have to admit when she was in the academy, she was an ear-rupturing banshee, especially considering Naruto's enhanced hearing. Believe me, I hate doing it, but it will be rectified eventually, just like in canon. And as to the spelling issues, my computer doesn't allow me to put in the accents, so I have to do it differently. Finally, in this universe both her parents have pink hair. Her father naturally, but her mother dyed hers so Sakura wouldn't feel so self-conscious about it. I know, lame excuse but whatever, worse things have been done. I am, and always will be, well aware of mistakes I make. Some I absolutely loath, others are more acceptable. The only reason I didn't put Sakura in the poll for this fic was because I didn't want to go from utter loathing to bedmates. Friends, maybe, but not lovers in this fic. The only person I might actually bash is Kakashi, because let's face it, he sort of deserves it. But I probably won't anyway. Anyway, enough rambling about my flaws, back on the subject of Fangril Kisa!**

 **You are literally the most bubbly person I have ever interacted with, as well as my first Fangirl, as opposed to just someone who likes my writing. But please, never become a Fangirl at the level of Ino and Sakura before they opened their eyes! For the love of Kami, please no. be more like Hinata- trying to win praise by actually _doing_ things. And seriously, Itachi-senpai looks miserable. Give him some room to breath. And on that note, I end this absurdly long A/N and proceed to the story!**

 **Chapter 3: Being Watched**

Several weeks had passed since the first day of school, and Naruto was falling into the role of class moron better than he had expected. He still kept up with himself when no-one was around, so he wouldn't _actually_ be as bad as he seemed, but more and more, he felt... comfortable with acting like a child. And he had made quick friends with the Akimichi and the Inuzuka, mainly because Shikamaru acted as a go-between of sorts. He dispelled the initial awkwardness that first day.

 **Flashback- first day of the academy about an hour after the escape**

 _"..."_

 _"..."_

 _"..."_

 _Three of the boys to have made a mad dash for freedom looked at each other apprehensively, not really knowing what to say. A loud sigh from Shika, who had laid back as soon as they stopped moving, caught their attention._

 _"Troublesome... Naruto, how much do you think you could shovel down in an eating contest?" the blond boy's brow crinkled in confusion._

 _"Umm... well I usually leave Jiji crying for his wallet when he buys food." Choji immediately perked up at this._

Ahh, yes, _Naruto thought to himself._ The famous Akimichi appetite. Considering their jutsu are caloric-based the Akimichi take eating very seriously. Evidently all those stories of eating contests leaving restraunts without supplies weren't exaggerated. _Suddenly, the usual brashness of the Inuzuka reared it's head full-force._

 _"And you want to be Hokage? Ha! **I** have a better chance than you do!" Naruto snapped his eyes to the boy, irritation evident in them. What he had said to the class hadn't been a lie, he did want to be Hokage._

 _"Oh yeah?! I bet I could beat you in a spar!" Naruto shouted loudly._

 _The inuzuka smirked. "You're on! First spar of the class, I'll get Iruka-sensei to pit us against each other!"_

 **Flashback end**

From there, the group had only become close friends. He consistently beat Choji in eating contests, and he usually just came out on top against Kiba, but only in personal spars. In class, or class-related events, he intentionally lost.

Today, he was sitting in class, listening to Iruka lecture about how Konohagakure no Sato was founded. After Iruka had all but glued him to his seat, he really had no choice. The man might despise him, but he took his job very seriously. For that, he had Naruto's respect.

Naruto flicked his eyes around the classroom, taking in everything with a bored expression. He felt three sets of eyes upon him; the Nara heir, the Yamanka Heiress, and the Hyuga heiress. Shikamaru, he knew was analyzing him because of the discrepancies between his actions while alone with friends and those while in class. The Hyuga, he noticed was casting side-long glances at him, then blushing. So he had an admirer. He would have to let her down gently, as he knew her father would never let her be with him. Hiashi's reason for this was much more sensible than the villagers'; Naruto's reputation as a notorious prankster cast him in a bad light, and relations with someone who showed no signs of remorse for being a delinquent would look bad for the Hyuga as a whole. He never seemed to look at Naruto with disdain for the Kyuubi when they crossed paths, he merely seemed wary of the boys pranks.

The Yamanaka girl was harder to get a read on, though. She seemed utterly devoid of emotion when gazing at him, as though analyzing him, but at the same time, whenever he looked at her, she looked away quickly, unlike Shika who kept his gaze steady, as though fearful of being caught staring at a boy other than her crush. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and saw her frowning slightly while looking at him, and nudging the bubblegum girl, whom he had learned was named Sakura, with a few whispered words. Despite the fact that she was whispering so quietly it appeared Sakura could barely hear her, despite being less than a foot from her, Naruto heard her clearly thanks to his enhanced hearing- a gift from Kurama when they first met.

"Hey, forehead, is it just me, or does something seem off about that Naruto kid? He's obviously an idiot, but he's always trying to hang out with Sasuke-kun... almost like he's watching him..." Naruto grimaced. While it seemed he was found out, he knew it was just idle speculation by a member of a clan full of mental specialists. He spent just as much time trying to 'be friends' with the Uchiha as with everyone else. Right at that moment, Iruka called a break for lunch, and Naruto was the first one outside, stretching his arms in the sun and groaning happily. He much preferred being outside in the sun than inside in the Air conditioning. Kiba soon followed him, along with Choji who was dragging Shikamaru. He rest of the class trickled out slowly.

He turned to the door and saw Sakura step out. She saw him and look of fear flashed across her face, then she high-tailed it to the opposite end of the lunch yard. Naruto shrugged and looked around for someplace to sit. He noticed a mane of black duck-ass sitting alone under a tree, eating out of a bento. A small frown graced his features as he watched Sasuke.

 _That lonely look in his eye... he's a lot like me before Tou-chan adopted me... and even know, I'm mostly alone._ He walked over, his own bento still in the bag, and sat down next to the Uchiha silently, then began eating. Sasuke looked at him sideways, a small glare in his eyes.

"What do you want, dobe? Go away."

Naruto merely kept eating. Sasuke turned to face him fully, his normally stoic and uninterested face full of anger.

"I said go away!"

"No-one should be lonely, Sasuke. That is the path of a traitor," Nruto said quietly. He felt the Uchiha stiffen.

"Dobe..."

"I saw the look in your eyes, Sasuke. It was the same as mine, before I was adopted."

"You're adopted?" for once, the face of the last Uchiha showed something other than boredom or contempt. Naruto nodded.

"I suppose you have it slightly worse off on that front, seeing as I never knew my parents in the first place, whereas you had love for the first part of your life. All I have ever known was loneliness and the contempt of the villagers, who either refused to acknowledge me, or beat me up. But when Tou-chan adopted me, I finally had someone who cared about me. I shudder to think what would have happened if that hadn't happened. I don't want to see you go down that road either."

Sasuke remained quiet for a moment, before a small genuine smile graced his lips.

"I suppose it wouldn't be too bad to have _one_ friend. As long as it's not one of those _fangirls_ ," he finally said with a small shudder. Naruto chuckled.

"No worries, I won't swoon over you. You're not my type." Sasuke smirked at the joke, then turned and kept eating. Naruto finished his lunch as well. As they rose to return to class, Naruto could feel the glares of every girl but one directed at his back as he walked and joked with the Uchiha, who surprisingly had a _personality_. That one girl's glare was directed at Sasuke, who seemed to either not notice or not care. They walked into the academy together, acting like they'd been friends forever.

 **A/N: a fairly short chapter, mostly filler. But seriously, Sasuke might be an ass sometimes, but it's true; everyone needs a friend. Naruto would know that better than anyone, and he was actually the first to reach out to Sasuke. I just made it so he did it before the whole 'I am an Uchiha, you are all inferior to me' complex developed.**


	4. Chapter 4: Iruka's Bad Day

**A/N: Hey guys welcome back! Okay, I would like to encourage those of you who plan on sticking with me through this story to shoot over to my profile and cast your vote in my poll if you haven't already!**

 **Chapter 4: Iruka's Bad Day**

Naruto was wearing his best shit-eating grin and looking at Iruka smugly. Iruka, however looked like a blood vessel was about to pop in his forehead as he glared at the 'demon brat' while they stood in front of the Hokage.

"Naruto-kun, would you care to explain?" Hiruzen looked like he was barely restraining his laughter.

"I finally convinced Sasuke to join me in setting off a prank, and he suggested this." he snickered. Said Uchiha was standing on the other side of him, hands in in his pockets, trying his absolute best to not die laughing whenever he looked at Iruka.

Umino Iruka was covered head to toe in many different colors of paint, baking powder, tar and feathers, and even some cow manure.

" _Sasuke_ suggested this?" the Third Hokage looked a little skeptical.

"Well, jiji... he suggested the paint, but that's small thinking. I might have tweaked his plan a bit." at this Hiruzen chuckled heartily as Sasuke snickered quietly. In the three months since Naruto had approached Sasuke at lunch, the two had become very good friends. Sasuke had even started hanging out with Naruto's other friends, much to his Fangirls' dismay.

"And how exactly did two _Academy students_ pull off this sort of thing on a _Chuunin_?"

Iruka grumbled under his breath.

 **Flashback- earlier that day**

 __ _Iruka walked into the classroom slowly, looking at a note on his clipboard and talking to Mizuki. He glanced up momentarily to see Naruto, Sasuke, and their friends sitting quietly. Alarm bells immediately went off in Iruka's head at this. He broke out in a cold sweat._

 _"Iruka what's wrong?"_

 _"Naruto is sitting quietly." Mizuki went pale and snapped his gaze to the blond, who suddenly smiled and did a half-ram seal._

 _Before they could react, Iruka and Mizuki were confined in a small barrier that glowed green._

 _"Well, Iruka -sensei, it seems you're a little caught up this morning," Naruto quipped, causing his friends to laugh._

 _"Naruto-san, it is illogical to confine our teachers, because they have to teach us," called out Aburame Shino from the back of the class. Naruto flapped his hand dismissively._

 _"Class is canceled today Shino." small 'hmms' echoed around the room. "Instead, we have art class," Naruto added with a devilish smirk._

 _Moments later anguished cries echoed throughout the village. More than a few people said prayers for whomever had been taken._

 **Flashback End**

"So you used a level three seal to confine your teachers, then had the class help you cover them in various substances... I have to ask, Naruto-kun. Where did you learn a level three barrier seal?" Hiruzen questioned. Naruto shrugged non-chalantly.

"Tou-chan started teaching me seals last week. He jumped right through levels one and two when I basically blew through them. He said he can only teach me up to level three though."

"That's because he himself only knows up to level three. As it is with any Shinobi who learns seals but doesn't become a seal master."

"Damn... I was starting to like fuinjutsu too..."

A loud _whap_ followed by a whine and Naruto holding his head brought attention back to Iruka.

"Can we get back to the topic on hand?"

"Iruka-kun, I would appreciate it if you didn't hit my grandson." Iruka grimaced but bowed slightly. "Now then, obviously I cannot let this go unpunished, Naruto-kun. And since Sasuke was a major player in this prank, he too must be punished."

"Hai, Hokage-sama. I accept the consequences of my actions, though I don't regret doing it," Sasuke said. Naruto chuckled and it occurred to him, had this not happened, Sasuke might have a mentality of 'I am an Uchiha, you can't do anything to me.' evidently this also occurred to Sasuke, as he shuddered slightly and leaned towards his friend.

"Why do I get the feeling I almost became a pompous ass with a superiority complex?" he whispered.

"Maybe because you would have," came the snarky reply. Both boys shuddered slightly.

"Now then, as punishment, you two must spend the remainder of the day with Iruka-kun, and help him in whatever way he needs, _within reason_ ," he said pointedly to Iruka, who had almost immediately begun formulating ways to get Naruto injured. He then sighed dejectedly. Three small salutes and cries of "Yes, Hokage-sama/ jiji!" followed before they all turned to leave.

"Naruto-kun, please stay a moment longer." Naruto stopped and turned as Sasuke and Iruka stepped out, both curious.

Once the door closed and the Privacy seals were activated, Hiruzen sighed and pinched his nose.

"Naruto-kun, I thought I asked you to ensure Sasuke Uchiha remains loyal to Konoha, not turn him into a delinquent."

"Jiji, by being his friend, and by having him develop more friendships, I'm _ensuring_ he remains loyal. You're the one who taught me kindness and understanding are the path to peace. Plus, he even admitted that while he still wants to avenge his clan, he's more focused on not betraying his new friends to do it." Hiruzen jerked back in slight surprise before he smiled.

"Then I must commend you. Although I have noticed his grades dipping slightly lately."

"He doesn't spend so much time studying anymore. He's spending more and more time with Kiba, Choji, Shika and me." a small 'ah' ensued.

"Alright then. You may go," the Sandaime said as he waved his hand and turned back to the paperwork he and his shadow clones were working on. Naruto smiled, waved, and left. He found Sasuke and Iruka waiting outside the tower.

"Let's go you brats. I need to go home and shower, then I have errands to run," Iruka said irritably, with a glare at Naruto, but only mild annoyance toward Sasuke. Both boys noted this, but only Sasuke was confused by it.

They walked in silence through thee village, until they reached an apartment complex very close to Naruto's old one. Once they got inside, Iruka harshly telling them to sit on the couch and not touch anything, he went to take a shower. Naruto, being who he was, got up and looked around the room. He saw several pictures of a younger looking Iruka with a civilian man and a Kunoichi. He bore a strong resemblance to the Kunoichi, but had the civilian's hair color.

"Are these Iruka-sensei's parents?"

"They must be. He doesn't have any siblings as far as I know, and he never mentions anything about any friends, like Mizuki-sensei does. I wonder what happened to them?" Sasuke said after joining Naruto at a picture of Iruka riding on the man's shoulders while the Kunoichi smiled gently.

"They died in the Kyuubi attack," came a sad voice behind them. They turned to see Iruka toweling his hair wearing only pants. "My mother was in the same graduating class as the Yondaime, she was Kunoichi of the Year. My father... well he was a stand-up comedian. They met at one of his shows."

"Oh... I'm sorry about your parents sensei. If it makes you feel any better at all, I was told my parents were killed during the Kyuubi attack too... but I never knew them," Naruto looked at the picture again sadly. "I guess it hurts more to lose the ones you love than to have never known them in the first place..."

Iruka looked at Naruto for a moment, confusion written on his face, before his features softened slightly.

"No... if you knew your parents and lost them, you can at least remember the good times you've had with them. If you never knew them at all, and have only known misery, then you have nothing to look back on... Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of what others have lost when you're so focused on your own pain." Naruto looked at him sideways, then nodded imperceptibly, letting Iruka know his apology was accepted.

"You know what, boys? My errands aren't that important anyway. Have you two eaten?" both Sasuke and Naruto shook their heads.

"Not since breakfast," Sasuke said. Iruka smiled.

"Why don't I buy you two lunch? Where do you want to go?" Sasuke's eyes widened and he cast a fearful glance at his friend, before trying to subtly let his sensei know that was a bad idea. Naruto was to fast though.

"TO ICHIRAKU RAMEN!" and suddenly, both Sasuke and Iruka were fluttering along behind the blond, who had a death-grip on their wrists, like paper flags as the boy ran straight through the streets, plowing through anyone in his way, to the Ichiraku Ramen stand about three streets away from the Hokage tower.

 **In the Hokage's Office a few minutes prior**

The Sandaime Hokage, for no discernible reason to anyone, including himself, suddenly began laughing hysterically, with a feeling as though many thousands of Ryo had stopped screaming in terror in his wallet. When his secretary peeked into the room fearfully, he began laughing harder.

"Hokage-sama... what's so funny?"

"I... don't... know!" he gasped out. After a few moments, he calmed down enough to talk normally. "Oh... I get the feeling Iruka-kun is going to hate Naruto-kun for another reason altogether after today."

"TO ICHIRAKU RAMEN!" came a loud cry from the open window. Hiruzen froze momentarily, before breaking down laughing again, clutching his stomach and falling out of his chair. Now he knew why Iruka would hate Naruto.

 **Inside Ichiraku Ramen**

"Old man! Thirty Miso with Extra Pork!"

Iruka and Sasuke were suddenly not flapping in the wind, but were instead seated at the bar of a ramen stand.

"Coming right up, Naruto! The usual, Sasuke?"

"Please," came the sighed reply.

"And for you, sir?"

It took Iruka a moment to realize the question was directed at him. "Oh... uh, one shrimp please." a nod from the elderly man behind the counter was all the confirmation he got. He never noticed the devilish smirk on Teuchi Ichiraku's face. Obviously he was missing something.

A loud squeal was heard, before a white and brown blur shot over the bar and glomped Naruto. The blur resolved itself into a pretty girl with light brown hair and a white ramen cook outfit on, including a white bandanna in her hair.

"Ayame- nee, get off! I was here yesterday!"

"Oh, I can't help it, Naruto-kun! You're just too adorable!" the girl replied as she squished the young blond in a hug, his face pressed into her growing cleavage. She only finally let him go when Naruto's order was placed on the bar. Iruka paled at the sight and felt his wallet cry out in terror and grow considerably lighter.

He was even more horrified when Naruto began tearing into the ramen at a pace that made the **Hiraishin** seem slow, as though he had not just been nearly suffocated. Sasuke, by comparison was calmly eating his one pork ramen. Iruka barely registered beginning his own food as he watched Naruto finish the final bowl and order thirty Beef Ramen with extra chicken.

"How the HELL can you eat so much Ramen?!" Iruka asked fearfully. Naruto was too busy scarfing down his food to answer.

"Naruto is a Ramen addict. Much like Mitarashi Anko is a Dango addict," Sasuke said calmly, finishing his bowl. Iruka, who had been teamed up with Anko when she was a Chuunin, nearly fainted. He'd had to pitch in for a team meal after that mission, and Anko had eaten so much Dango, the store had run out.

"Naruto, slow down. You know what happened last time. And I'm pretty sure you don't want a repeat of the 'great ramen shortage' as your tou-san called it," sasuke said to Naruto, who had just finished his last bowl.

"Meh, I'll be fine. I'm stopping for today anyway. Oba-chan would strangle me if I ruined my appetite before dinner tonight. I might love Ramen more than life itself, but I do know moderation, Sasuke." a small _snerk_ of laughter came from the Raven-haired boy. Iruka sighed and turned to the bar, about to ask for some sort of discount or something, only to be presented with the bill by a smiling Ayame. He took one glance at it, before going white and falling over, clutching his chest. Naruto and Sasuke looked on in mild amusement.

"Just wait until when you don't stop yourself," Sasuke said with a straight face.

"I'll bring the popcorn," Naruto responded. Ayame and Teuchi laughed heartily as Iruka slowly, never leaving the ground, reached into his wallet and pulled out the money to pay the bill. It was gone before he got it above the counter, being counted by Ayame. His hand flopped back down to his stomach. His eyes were swirls, his skin was whiter than a sheet, and it looked as though his heart had stopped beating. Naruto leaned over him with a foxy grin plastered on his face.

"See you tomorrow in class, Iruka-sensei!" then, he and Sasuke bolted from the stand, running full out, laughing hysterically.

Iruka shot up, rage on his face, and he blasted after them.

"GET BACK HERE YOU BRATS!"


	5. Chapter 5: A Secret Among Friends

**A/N: Hey guys I'm back! I'm happy you are all feeding me with your reviews, and I look forward to seeing this through to the end with all of you wonderful readers! Anyway, the poll for this story will remain up until chapter twenty, where I will announce the results and begin working that in. Until then, it will mostly be the academy, and d-ranks. Oh and Itachi-senpai? I want you to know that your brother will be okay. So you can stop worrying so much.**

 **Chapter 5: A Secret Among Friends**

Naruto was inside the training hall of the Sarutobi compound, going through some katas with his tanto. He might be a civilian, but he was still an ANBU- level ninja. If he let himself fall complacent, then he would grow weaker, and get killed in the field. That would be counter-productive to his purposes. So, he trained.

He fluidly shifted from one stance to the next, his eyes closed, as he learned to manipulate his nature chakra to tell him his surroundings. Having a strong wind affinity had advantages, one being that he could vibrate the air around him to act as a sort of echolocation. For this reason, he noticed when the door slid open and a small group of people entered. He froze in shock and snapped his eyes open.

Sasuke, Choji, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Iruka were in the training room, looking at him with confusion as he held his tanto horizontally. Naruto began to sweat lightly from the nerves.

"Naruto, why do you have a tanto?" Iruka asked. Naruto stayed mute, having not expected this visit, considering what day it was. October tenth, Naruto's birthday. He always stayed in on this day, or went on a mission, because if he went out in public, people started to riot. The Kyuubi festival always ensured people were drunk, and drunks tended to be more violent with what they perceived as the Kyuubi reincarnated.

"It...was a gift from Jiji a few years ago." it wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

Shikamaru looked skeptical, Choji nodded, Iruka frowned slightly, Kiba cocked his head, Akamaru did the same, and Sasuke crossed his arms.

Sasuke finally said something.

"Happy birthday, Naruto."

Naruto, who had turned around to put away his tanto, froze. He heard a few steps, and a small smack, then a grunt form Sasuke.

"Sasuke," Iruka said to the boy. "I thought we weren't going to breach the subject. Hokage-sama told us it was a sensitive subject for him."

"Hn. I felt he needed to hear it. He's my best friend, sensei. I'm not going to ignore his birthday." Naruto started shaking slightly, and he felt Sasuke walk up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. "Naruto, happy birthday. I couldn't get you much, but here you go." Sasuke's hand came around the side to reveal a limited-edition Ramen cup with a bow on it. Naruto felt tears sliding silently down his cheeks as he shakily took the gift. The first he had ever gotten on his birthday. He never told Asuma his birthday, and the Hokage was always busy.

"Thank you..." he whispered. Sasuke patted his arm softly.

"Why don't you put your stuff away and we can hang out?" Naruto nodded and did just that. While he was out of the dojo, he wiped his eyes free of tears. When he returned he found Asuma standing with his friends, looking stern.

"Naru, why didn't you ever tell me what your birthday was?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal. The most I've ever gotten for my birthday was beatings. Well... right before you adopted me, I did get this anonymously..." he said as he pulled out his renowned Gama-chan. His toad-themed wallet was about half-full of Ryo. Iruka quickly turned the subject back to his original question.

"Naruto, why do you have a tanto? You handle it too well for an academy student with no previous training." Asuma and Naruto both started sweating, seeing Iruka's no-nonesense look. A look shot between them, and they seemed to hold a silent conversation. After several moments, Naruto sighed dejectedly. The Hokage chose that moment to walk in smiling. It quickly fell from his face.

"What's wrong Naruto-kun?"

"Jiji, they," he pointed at his friends and sensei, "got in while I was training. They saw my tanto." the Hokage sighed explosively and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Go get it. No point in hiding it now, from them at least." a quick salute and a _**shunshin**_ later had Naruto re-appear in the dojo with a mask in his hand. His friends were amazed that he could do the _**shunshin no jutsu**_ , while Iruka was sweating at the implications of the pattern of the mask he saw in Naruto's hand. His fears were confirmed when Naruto donned the mask, and his hair changed from bright golden blond, to a more average brown color akin to Kiba's. The mask itself had black swirls on a white background, spreading from the right side to the left. The mask was almost completely flat, and showed no design other than the swirls.

"Shadow-san..." Iruka said just loud enough to be heard. Naruto nodded and touched a tattoo on his shoulder, instantly wearing his old ANBU uniform, his second tanto strapped to his shoulder. Iruka quickly thought of all the times he had tried to be mean and vicious to Naruto, and gulped audibly. He paled and sat down, near to hyperventilating.

"Shadow..." Shika said thoughtfully. "My dad mentioned a shadow outside of our clan jutsu... I think he said something about an...ANBU..." he snapped his gaze to Shadow, along with the other boys. Sasuke's mouth dropped open in shock, and Choji dropped his bag of chips. Naruto dipped his head slightly and stood at a parade rest, his legs shoulder width apart and his hands clasped right above his butt.

"Naruto-kun, I think that will be fine. You can remove the mask now." Shadow nodded and reached up, removing his mask and placing it on his hair, which had changed back to it's bright yellow color.

"I was an ANBU Black-Ops member before jiji sent me to the academy. He felt I needed to take a break from the life of a Shinobi, and socialize with kids my own age." a straight up lie, but if Sasuke knew that their friendship had been based on a mission, he might turn against the village. "So I was officially demoted to academy student and told to tell no-one." Iruka curled into the fetal position and rocked back and forth, sucking his thumb. Shikamaru rubbed his head, obviously finally figuring out why the blond seemed better at Shinobi skills when outside of class. Kiba face-faulted and groaned loudly. Choji ssimply shrugged and kept eating. Sasuke looked lost for a few moments, then apparently decided something, and he smirked.

"Looks like I have a lot of catching up to do, huh Naruto?" Naruto merely nodded and smiled.

"That you do, Sasuke. And Iruka-sensei," the chuunin looked up from his break down and focused on the boy. "I would appreciate if you graded me on how I perform _during class_ , not on what you know. I chose to be the dead-last so people wouldn't really focus on me, seeing me as not a threat." Iruka nodded dumbly, then went back to his rocking. Naruto touched his ANBU tattoo again, changing back to his outfit of a gray zip-up hoodie, dark orange shorts, and a bair of blue shinobi sandals. Then he handed the mask to Hiruzen, who stowed it away.

"Now that you all know that little bit, I must ask you to keep it a secret. It was not common knowledge that Naruto-kun was even a Shinobi, let alone an ANBU." the boys nodded, Shika a bit sowly, and Iruka made an affirming whimper.

"So, this whole time, you were closer to being hokage than I would even hope to be for the next eight years?" Kiba asked sullenly. Naruto chuckled and nodded. Kiba cried anime tears while Akamaru barked in laughter.

"Why don't we go get Naru some cake and Ramen for his birthday?" Asuma piped up. Everyone quickly nodded, Iruka coming out of his near-catatonic state. Naruto's eyes widened before he shuffled his feet and looked at the ground.

"That might not be a good idea..."

"Why not?" Sasuke asked.

"Umm... the villagers don't really like me... so they get mad if I come out during the Kyuubi festival..."

"Naru, I doubt they'll do anything with the Hokage, and an elite jounin, along with a Chuunin, and their beloved Uchiha-sama accompanying you," Asuma said with a chuckle. Sasuke frowned, but even he couldn't deny that's what he was viewed as. Little by little, the group managed to coax Naruto out of the compound, with promises of massive amounts of Ramen, threats of grounding, and pleas of friendship. As soon as he was outside the walls, he bolted for the Ichiraku stand, taking the rooftops to avoid the villagers. When he got there, he sat in the corner least visible, and waited for the rest of the group, most of whom were smiling in amusement or frowning in concern when they walked in. Naruto ordered a mere two bowls of shrimp with miso, shocking everyone.

"Naruto, what's wrong? You aren't hungry?" Teuchi sounded genuinely concerned. Naruto mumbled something into his bowl, before Ayame bopped him on the head with a ladel.

"Birthday boy, stop being gloomy and eat your ramen. If you don't you get no cake."

Naruto's eyes shot up to see her smiling and holding out more ramen. He smiled softly.

The Ramen was gone in moments.


	6. Chapter 6: A Minor Hitch

**A/N: Hey y'all! Another chappie of the ANBU Genin! But first, I would like to ask you all to go to my page and at least peruse my other fics. I have three one-shots and four on-going stories. And as soon as I can, I will begin posting the colab between a friend and myself that is in the Soul Eater universe. So look forward to that! Now! Onward to shenanigans!**

 **Chapter 6: A Minor Hitch**

Naruto yawned loudly as his head drooped from his hand, jolting him awake momentarily.

 _Mizuki is even more boring in lectures than Iruka-sensei!_ Iruka had fallen ill the past few days, so Mizuki, the whiteish-blue haired Chuunin assistant teacher, had been filling in. But he proved so boring, even the most studious of pupils had started to nod off. The entire class was currently either completely asleep, or on the way there. Mizuki didn't notice because he was facing the blackboard, practically doodling because his writing was so terrible.

 _There's still two and a half hours before class is released! Naruto... don't... fall...zzzzzzz._ Naruto's head finally snapped down from his supporting hand, ramming into the table with the force of gravity, but he was dead asleep. The seven months of having to get up early for the academy, combined with the fact he only took naps every now and then, and Naruto had become increasingly drowsy and unable to do anything. He snoozed peacefully, with Sasuke drooping off, but doing his best to stay awake, right next to him. Even the ever logical Shino, who had never once disrupted class or fallen asleep, was snoring gently, his hive buzzing in time with his exhales.

The silence was broken after thirty minutes, when Naruto entered REM sleep, his mind going into overdrive in his dreams.

"NOOO! AGH! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" a loud scream ripped through the classroom, jolting everyone awake, and causing Mizuki to turn around. Everyone looked to the blond to see him thrashing violently, screaming bloody murder, tears so obviously glistening on his cheeks.

"NO! PLEASE! NOOOO-AAAARRRRRGGHHHH!" Sasuke tried shaking him awake, only for a hand to flail about and smack him in the face. As time slowly progressed, Naruto's thrashing became ever more violent, his screams louder and more anguished. At some point, Mizuki had moved everyone out of range of his motions, which had increased to the point he fell out of his chair and was on the floor. Just as the teacher was about to call for the Hokage, Naruto curled into a ball and whimpered piteously. Sasuke stepped forward cautiously and gingerly laid a hand on Naruto's side, only for the boy to flinch violently and resume thrashing and screaming. He got so loud, the teachers down the hall shouted at Mizuki to keep quiet.

"What's wrong with him?!" Ino shouted, covering her ears.

"Troublesome... I think he's having night terrors!" Shikamaru looked both worried for his friend, and angry at him for disturbing his sleep. At that precise moment, Naruto let out a wordless scream so bloodcurdling and loud, if they hadn't been covering their ears, the class would all be permanently deaf. The scream echoed throughout the village, thanks to the acoustics of the location of the Academy, and the older generations all felt a chill down their spines. More than a few ducked under or behind something, cowering in fear.

 **At the Village gate, check-out station**

"What the fuck was that?!" Kotetsu looked terrified.

"It sounded like the Kyuubi!" Izumo looked even more scared than his partner. The Eternal Chuunins turned to the only Jounin in sight, the team leader of the mission that had just returned.

A cigarette fell to the ground and soft brown eyes widened in alarm.

"NARUTO!"

Asuma sprinted off without another word, worry etched into his face as he bolted and barreled through anyone in his way, civilian and Shinobi alike. He only stopped when he heard one merchant, whom he had never cared for, because of how he treated Naruto, said something loudly. Shakily, but loudly.

"Looks like that fucking Demon finally showed it's true colors! And near our children?! The Hokage will be put on trial for this!"

The temperature in the immediate area dropped thirty degrees in a matter of seconds, and everyone cowered in fear. All the civilians turned to see Sarutobi Asuma, elite Jounin of Konohagakure no Sato, son of the third Hokage, and adopted father to Naruto Uzumaki, glaring at the man with pure hatred, his trench knives gripped tightly in his hands. He stalked over to the fat slob who had spoken and slammed his right blade into the man's shoulder. The man, term used loosely, opened his mouth to scream, but found the other blade held to his throat.

"That _eleven-year-old boy_ is my SON! And YOU just committed an act of willful treason, you scum-sucking shitbag!" the face on the jelly donut paled from both fear, and from minor bloodloss. "Now since I have somewhere to be, I will leave you in the care of Boar-san, who will kindly escort you to the ANBU T &I department. I suspect Morino Ibiki would like a new toy." instantly a boar-masked ANBU appeared, his arms crossed, and nodded, taking hold of the fat blob who had once been an influential merchant. Asuma ripped his trench knife out viciously and sprinted away once more, heading with all possible speed to the Academy.

He didn't notice an off-duty Kunoichi nearby, who watched the whole thing. Blood-red eyes watched the retreating form of the man hungrily.

 _Who knew Asuma-kun could be so hot when he's protective?_

 **Hokage Tower, when the scream ripped through**

Hiruzen shot up from his chair, alarm on his face. He knew that scream! He had watched Naruto fall asleep a few months ago, and hadn't woken him up in time.

He bolted for the door, robes flying and hat falling to the ground. He couldn't care less. His grandson was in pain. He pushed right through Danzo, who had been about to knock, without a word, sprinting for all he was worth to the Academy. About a block from the door, he met up with Asuma. The two sprinted together wordlessly, literally kicking the doors open to save time. When they got to the class they knew Naruto was in, they blasted through the door to see the blond thrashing on the floor , more specifically on the steps between desks, and screaming hysterically. Asuma shot straight to him, pushing through the students in his way, who were treating it like some kind of sick show. Hiruzen looked around to take stock.

Most of the children in the room had fear written on their faces, and Mizuki was torn between utter loathing and total glee. Hiruzen scowled, but couldn't do anything about it. Asuma, who was kneeling next to his son, was trying his best to avoid getting hit by the flailing limbs.

"NARUTO! CALM DOWN!"

"I WANT MY TOU-CHAN! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Asuma reached out and grabbed Naruto as best he could and lifted him into his arms. He rocked gently and began stroking the blond's hair softly. He chanted an old nursery rhyme under his breath. Little by little, Naruto calmed down, but he still whimpered piteously and mewled in fear.

"Tou-chan..." he cried into his dreams. "Don't leave me..." Asuma felt his heart break. Now he knew at least part of what Naruto was so terrified of. The boy curled into a ball in his arms and turned into his chest, crying freely and whimpering in fear. When he felt Naruto was okay, he shook him, trying to wake him up. He succeeded.

The sea-blue eyes snapped open, and before Asuma could react, one of his trench knives was pressed to his throat, the point up under his chin, ready to be plunged through his brain, before the Cerulean orbs seemed to recognize him.

"Tou-chan..." he dropped the knife into his dad's lap and threw his arms around the bigger man's shoulders. His tears felt hot on Asuma's neck, but he didn't mind. He rubbed Naruto's back soothingly.

Hiruzen, meanwhile was frantically checking to see if anyone who didn't know Naruto's secret had seen the quick movements after his eyes had snapped open. He felt assured no-one had, and sighed quietly.

Not one person noticed two sets of eyes widening in amazement.

Soft lavender.

And Sea-foam green.


	7. Chapter 7: Reminiscing

**A/N: Hey, so quick explanation. I recently moved back to Tejas, and I have no reliable source of Wifi, so I wrote a few chapters for all my ongoing fics out of overriding boredom. Check 'em out. I have not, and will not, abandon these stories or put them up for adoption at any point. They might go on unexpected Hiatus at any given point, but that's either writer's block or lack of interwebs. Abandoning them before they're done would be wrong, depriving all of you of something you clearly want for whatever reason (my self-esteem still sucks and I don't think anything I do is worth anyone's time) and I just feel if I put them up for adoption that whomever took them would just butcher what I wanted and would not stay true to what I want for the story. So they are mine forever. Now.**

 **Many of you have asked for clarification on Naruto's relationship with Kurama, his night terrors, etc. and the next few chapters will be mostly flashbacks/ explanations for those. Don't forget to cast your vote on my page! Ja Ne!**

 **Chapter 7: Reminiscing**

Naruto was pacing his room, wringing in his hands an old piece of cloth. His younger cousin, Konohamaru, was sitting on the bed coloring and swinging his legs while happily humming. The reason for Naruto's nervous actions was simple.

Kurama had told him his secret was known to those outside his friends. Neither knew who or how, but someone knew he was an ANBU level Shinobi, or at least strongly suspected. Hiruzen had noticed that his non-biological grandson was agitated, which usually spelled utter chaos for the household, and sometimes the whole village, and so wisely, with great decorum and grace expected of the Hokage, fled in terror to the Hokage Tower, not even bothering to make sorry excuses.

When Asuma came back from a small mission, seeing his father cowering slightly behind his desk, and asked why, his answer was a very nervous, "Naruto has been restless these past few days, since the school incident." his reaction was quite dignified, as was his fathers'; he screamed shrilly and bolted to the opposite end of the village, presumably to either his Jounin apartment he never used, or to that of either Mito Guy or Hatake Kakashi, his two friends from the academy and fellow Jounins. For several days after, the three of them, in addition to several other Shinobi and Kunoichi they frequently dealt with in a friendly light, were tense, jumpy, and at times downright terrified for no discernible reason.

But to any who knew the group, no larger than fifteen people in total, excluding the four academy students Naruto called friends, the reason was actually quite obvious.

When Naruto got agitated, bad things happened.

Sometimes he would do massive amounts of pranks to help focus his mind and work through his issues. Other times, he would request missions that would normally kill him were he not a coiled ball of deadly energy. But when he paced, it meant something worse was happening. Much worse.

Pacing meant his issues were so big he couldn't vent the energy necessary, and usually led to him being volatile, snappish, and very, very cruel. Also, he tended to leak the Kyuubi's chakra, but who cares about that? The only person who was totally safe from his violent nature at these times was Konohamaru, his beloved cousin, as close as a brother as he could find. He even scared Asuma, who usually was very relaxed but stern.

 _ **Kit, stop pacing. You're making me nervous.**_ Kurama yawned lazily.

 _YOU SHOULD BE NERVOUS FLEABAG! IF SOMEONE KNOWS, THEY MIGHT SLIP OR TRY TO BLACKMAIL ME! IF IT GETS OUT I'LL BE CRUCIFIED!_ Naruto snarled in his mind. He felt Kurama wilt, both cowed and a little scared. He didn't want to die after all.

 _ **Just relax a moment kit. Breathe, calm down, and think of something else for a little bit.**_ The instructions were familiar to Naruto. Whenever he began to lose his temper, or be bothered by something, Kurama would tell him this and help him meditate. His mind fell immediately to the day he met the demon fox. The day he became an ANBU.

 _ **Flashback**_

 _Naruto was bouncing excitedly on his heels as he stood before the Kami no Shinobi. Sarutobi Hiruzen was smiling slightly as he looked at the four young people before him. Two Shinobi and two Kunoichi were standing before their leader. All showed remarkable skills in their respective fields, with the blond being what was called a 'utility ninja', meaning he could fill almost any role he was needed in. From the far right, by Hiruzen's view, stood a ponytailed raven-haired Genjutsu master, his stoic face showing near to no emotion. A red-head with her hair down in a short bob around her ears was next , her body decked in different weapons and storage scrolls. Her eyes gleamed with minor mischief. Next was a young woman with long brown hair, in a low, short ponytail and with red triangles on her face. Utter despair was etched into her being, evidence to any who knew her clan that she had lost her partner. Her fingers idly twitched through various half-seals. Finally stood the blond, a full head shorter than the rest._

 _"Congratulations, you four. You show unique promise, and so have been recruited into the ANBU Black-Ops." four small bows interrupted him, but he didn't mind. He reached back onto the desk and lifted the first mask. It was shaped and styled into the face of a weasel, with dusky red accents. He held it out to the raven-haired young man, who took it gently, almost reverently._

 _"Uchiha Itachi, from this day, you no longer exist as you. From now, you are Weasel, the slippery one, able to distract his foe and leave without hindrance." Itachi bowed low and donned the mask, falling into the ANBU crouch. Hiruzen moved forward, grabbing the next mask._

 _"Akimichi Saraku, from this day, you no longer exist as you. From now, you are Bear, the fierce one, always head-first into the fight and covering her comrades." the girl squeaked happily and donned the mask, also falling into the ANBU ready crouch._

 _Hiruzen moved. "Inuzuka Nasomi, from this day, you no longer exist as you. From now, you are Wolf, the protector. Always watching the night for danger, and always alert." Nasomi grunted and donned the mask, falling listlessly to the crouch as the other two had done. She had never fully recovered from the pain of losing her ninken three years ago, and it showed._

 _Hiruzen hesitated a moment before he stepped in front of a grinning Naruto._

 _"Uzumaki Naruto. You are a special case," the boys' face fell. "From today you no longer exist, as any living form." Itachi made a confused sound and Naruto looked puzzled. "From now, you are Shadow, the death. Always unseen, never heard, and untraceable. You are the first and only ANBU to not be alive, and we hope to see you prosper in your name." he held out the final mask, which was almost totally black. The background was white, but was overlaid with black swirls and shapes, shadows, and was completely flat. When he placed the mask on his face, feeling the seal adhere it to his flesh until he desired it removed, he heard Weasel and Bear gasp. When he shot them questioning glances, Weasel pointed at his hair. Hiruzen held up a small hand mirror. Shadow's hair was no longer sun blond. It was now a muted brown, similar to Wolf's. But it caught his attention because it surprised Weasel, who was a Genjutsu expert._

 _"Hokage-sama, if I may?" a nod. "This is not a Genjutsu, is it?"_

 _"No," came a distorted voice and out of the darkness stepped Ryu, Dragon, the ANBU Commander and second most powerful Shinobi in Konohagakure. All four of the newly minted ANBU snapped to salute as he continued. "We took the idea of your_ _ **Solid Henge**_ _, Shadow, and applied it to your mask. Your hair really changes while you have it on."_

 _"But why?" came the question, which earned the boy a sharp elbow in the ribs from Wolf._

 _"Wolf, it's okay," Ryu said with a smirk in his voice. "If you just took everything at face value and questioned nothing, you wouldn't be ANBU. I prefer if you get all the knowledge you can to just rolling with it. Shadow, Hokage-sama felt that with your unique hair, your identity would be found out the instant you were seen."_

 _"But what about Neko-senpai? And Inu-senpai? They have unusual hair as well."_

 _"Indeed," Ryu chuckled. "And they had the same thing done when they first joined the Black-Ops. Over time, enemies dispelled the Genjutsu we had at that time, and we have been unable to restore it." Shadow nodded in acceptance, but resolved to ask Inu, who he knew was Kakashi, his tou-san's friend, about it._

 _"Now!" said the Hokage cheerily, dropping the privacy seals with a clap, "You four are a squad and will be working with each other extensively. Your first mission is an S-Rank Hunt and Kill. We have A-rank Shinobi somewhere in Hi no Kuni. Find and kill them, then bring in their heads. I trust you are all packed already?"_

 _All four ANBU held out storage scrolls and said, simultaneously, "Hai, Hokage-sama!"_

 _"Then go!" at that, the four_ _ **Shunshin'd**_ _away and met at the front gate._

 _"So who's squad leader?" asked Wolf._

 _"Inu-senpai," Shadow answered immediately. The three others jerked back and looked at him._

 _"Why? Because he's a man?!" Bear almost shouted._

 _"No," Shadow said curtly. "Because he's the most level-headed and the least likely to have us rush off half-cocked with some pitiful plan like 'hit them really hard, really fast.' In addition he knows our capabilities best, as he was on a Genin squad with you two and Chuunin with me. You two only know me by reputation. He actually knows me. With all of that together, Weasel is best suited to being squad leader."_

 _The others were silent a moment, before Weasel chuckled._

 _"With that logic, Shadow, I have no choice but to accept. But my one condition is that you are second in command, seeing as despite your exuberance you house a keen mind and logical thinking, even if your temper flares often." Shadow nodded. "Now," Weasel continued, growing somber once more, "Shadow, create about ten **Kage Bunshins** and set them out to scout the country side. We four will scout to the north and wait for one to dispel, or for us to find them ourselves." Instantly, with no seals, ten more Shadows poofed into existence and disappeared in a blink. Bear and Wolf were taken aback at how quickly Shadow's Shadow Clones could disappear without a trace, and the implications of **Kage Bunshins** being several degrees slower and weaker then the original. They felt shivers flow down their spines at how easily Shadow followed his directive to thrive in himself._

 _Without another word, the group departed through the gates and set off North, allowing Wolf, with her heightened sense of smell to lead. They traveled for several hours, before Weasel called a break. He set Shadow, the major Stamina Freak to be on guard, seeing as he wasn't even winded. Five Shadows popped into being and disappeared, setting up a perimeter. The group semi-relaxed, being ready in an instant if need be, and began talking amongst themselves, getting to know each other._

 _"So, Shadow," Bear began. "You seem pretty silent for your public reputation."_

 _"True Shinobi mislead even their comrades, for if you can fool friends, what chance have enemies?" before anyone said anything more, Shadow stiffened considerably, then vanished from view instantaneously. A moment later, he reappeared with a bloody lump dressed vaguely like a Kiri nin. But the slash through the headband belied the affiliation. A Nukenin had almost gotten the drop on them. But almost wasn't good enough._

 _"You'll have to do much better than that to get the drop on us," Wolf growled threateningly with an aggressive step forward. The female Nukenin snickered mirthlessly and rose unsteadily._

 _"A squad of Konoha ANBU scum..." Shadow grumbled and stepped forward._

 _"You can drop the **henge** , moron. It's obvious you're Iwa. Kiri don't call Konoha scum, just lesser." the nukenin dropped the **Henge** with a pop, and there stood an Iwa Kunoichi with no scratch. "And when will you drop the grudge over the war? Lord Fourth did what he had to, just as you did by following orders and attacking us in the first place." the Kunoichi snarled._

 _"That blonde monster slaughtered retreating people! He was absolute trash!" Shadow stiffened considerably, and Weasel backed away nervously._

 _"And what would you have done in his place?" came the barely audible whisper, before Shadow darted forward and began literally tearing the Iwa Kunoichi apart. His teammates watched in horror as the woman screamed in agony while her limbs were ripped from their sockets by bare hands, and her entrails were tugged from her gut while she was still awake and able to feel it. As she lay there, bleeding out and crying, Shadow leaned over her and whispered menacingly._

 _"Say what you will about me, but insult my comrades, you die, insult my Hero, you die painfully. Now, before you die, tell me how many of your comrades are left, and how many are worth my attention."_

 _"F-fuck...you..." she gasped as her eyes lolled and her head fell, a wet gurgle escaping her mouth. Shadow stood and turned to face his team, who were all staring at him in abject horror. Even Weasel was terrified, being a pacifist at heart, but he couldn't deny that Shadow was efficient, even if he could stand to be less cruel and ruthless. It almost reminded him of the Fourth when he got angry. Coupled with Shadow's mother's temper, and Weasel was now genuinely frightened of his second-in-command._

 _"We should move out," Shadow said calmly, all trace of rage gone. Before anyone said anything, several Kunai shot out and made Wolf into a pincushion. Shadow immediately screamed out to her, then his vision went red._

 **Yes, kit. That's right. Use my power, fuel your anger. UNLEASH FURY!** _Naruto heard a very deep, rumbling voice in his head, but he couldn't see anything past the red in his vision, couldn't think past the overwhelming fury of the loss. He vaguely heard agonized screams, and felt warmth on his arms, but couldn't comprehend past that._

Naruto snapped forward, pulling himself from the memories. He shuddered, unnoticed by Konohamaru, and scowled.

 _Why would that come to mind? I hate that day, I lost a teammate for the first time, and nearly lost my own life as a result of the rage._

 _**But you also met me, kit. You finally discovered why people hated you.**_

 _True..._

 **Flashback- soon after, inside Naruto's mind.**

 _Naruto opened his eyes and saw blackness, water was everywhere on the ground, but instead of the sewer he for some reason expected, he saw ancient redbrick walls, with red and blue channels carved into them, almost like an ancient temple of some sort. He strode forward and entered what appeared to be a ritual chamber. In the center there was a hole, but it reached in concentric circles from the very edge of the room, almost like an amphitheater. At the very center, the lowest point, a small reddish-brown animal was chained heavily, and was tugging at the bonds. Naruto walked calmly down to it, and saw it was a fox._

 _" **Are you just going to stare at me, or loosen these chains?** "_

 _"Why would I do that? I don't understand everything, but you're obviously constrained for a reason. And judging by how you knew I was here without looking up at me, I would say we're inside my mind."_

 _" **Very astute, kit. Now shut up and loosen the chains. I want to stretch.** "_

 _"Too bad. My mind, my rules. You get nothing until I get answers" the small fox grumbled in it's abnormally deep voice, way out of proportion to it's size, and gnashed teeth for several moments._

 _" **Fine!,** " it growled finally. " **I am the great Kyuubi no Kitsune, greatest of the Biju, and entitiy of Pure Chakra, fed by the malice and anger of the human race. I am also the embodiment of righteous fury, as defined by my Father, the Rikkoudo Sennin. And, by a comical twist of fate, I am stuck inside you, and insolent, disrespectful whelp who can't even channel my chakra properly, although that is mostly because of this damnable seal placed by that acc- uh I mean, by your Fourth Hokage.** "_

 _"So, you were sealed inside me the night you attacked Konohagakure, which happens to also be the day I was born. Why DID you attack?"_

 _The small fox grumbled something quietly and pawed at the ground._

 _"What was that?"_

 _" **I said, I was being controlled by a Sharigan user. And my name is Kurama, kit.** "_

 _With a nod, Naruto stepped forward and removed some of the chains from the small, somewhat adorable fox, leaving only manacles around the neck, legs, and newly revealed waving tails. All nine of them. Kurama immediately began frolicking as far as the chains would let him, which was about halfway up the rows. Naruto chuckled._

 _" **Ah! That feels much better! Now then, in return for so much freedom, I will give you gifts of sense. As soon as you agree, your hearing will be better than any Ninkin's, even when augmented with chakra, your nose as well. Your eyes will be able to see in the dark at will, and will be able to see small details from up to five hundred yards. Your senses of touch and taste will remain the same though. No strings attached. Also, I would like a mental link with you so we can talk at any time.** "_

 _"I agree. Your wisdom will be useful, and your gifts will surely help me." the two nodded to each other, and Naruto turned on his heel to leave._

 _" **Kit,** " Kurama called, causing Naruto to pause. " **You will not be all-powerful. You will not be able to protect everyone. You should steel yourself for inevitable lose and pain. Even your grandfather knows this.** " Naruto stiffened, then kept walking without a word. He woke to find limbs and blood everywhere, and himself leaning over Wolf's mangled form, tears rolling out from beneath his mask._

"Kona, can you go tell Oba-chan I'll be down for dinner?" Naruto asked his younger cousin, who would be starting the academy in just a few years. Konohamaru nodded enthusiastically, his hair fluffing everywhere, then bolted from the room, his scarf flying behind him. Naruto smiled sadly, then moved to the window, and jumped out.

"Sorry, Kona, but I've got some searching to do." within moments, the final remaining member of 'Black Squad' was gone without a trace from the Sarutobi household.

Two young girls felt chills run up their spines nearby, but couldn't explain them.


	8. Chapter 8: A Leak, Plugged

**Chapter 8: The Leak, Plugged**

Naruto was flitting from roof to roof, unseen and unheard, carefully avoiding detection by the ANBU on duty. He had yet to leave the Clans' District of the Village, because his gut was telling him his problem was there. He was currently just inside the Hyuga compound wall, and was sneaking along, keeping an ear cocked and his senses peeled for one of the Byakugan users. He was stopped short as he passed over the Main House Manor.

"A-ano, f-father? W-what w-would happen if a J-jounin b-became an A-academy s-student?" Naruto nearly, very nearly slipped as he heard the shy, stuttering voice of his classmate, Hyuga Hinata; the Hyuga Heiress.

"Why do you ask, Hinata?"

"I w-was j-just curious..." Naruto could all but see her poking her index fingers together as her voice trailed off. Hiashi, the clan head, spoke again, in a voice so smug Naruto knew he was seen by the man.

"Well, for arguments sake, let us say that a high-level Shinobi WAS stripped of his rank and sent back to the Academy. He or she would have to be Academy age,"

"H-hai..." Hinata said slowly.

"Then the Shinobi would have to most likely put on a _very convincing act_ so as to divert attention from themselves, likely using a public persona already in place." Hinata made a small, confirming noise. "And if it so happened that this person was found out by accident, they would need to tie up loose ends to ensure their own safety." a small _eep_ of fear ensued, followed by sounds of scurrying away. Hiashi stepped out onto the grass and breathed deeply.

"You shrewd son-of-a-bitch. How long did you know?"

"Young man, I knew from a young age you would be exceptional. To put two and two together, that a very deadly ANBU disappears the same year you begin academy and fully enter the public eye? An idiot could figure it out."

"Obviously not, considering damn near the whole village, the other ANBU included, didn't notice that little coincidence," Naruto remarked dryly as he dropped down next to the man. Hiashi grunted slightly, still staring at the stars.

"I wish to thank you for watching over us all these times. You saved my daughters on more than one occasion. I am indebted to you."

"Nonsense, I just wanted your family to remain as whole as it currently is. Neither of them should go through what I did. But I must say, it still confuses me why you're so strict with Hinata in public, but act like a father in private. Just let the world know you love your daughter."

Hiashi grimaced. "Would that I could. I treat Hanabi the same way in public, so that I cannot be accused of favoritism. In any case, I suspect you must continue your search. Rest assured, your secret will not be spilled by any lips here."

With a quick bow, Naruto vanished, to continue his quest. Surely only Hinata could have somehow seen? Right? Even his abysmal luck outside of gambling and cons couldn't screw him this time?

 _Please, Kami. Please let it just be Hinata..._ but his pleas fell on deaf ears as he passed silently over the path between the Akimichi and Yamanaka compounds.

"Daddy, what do you know about that boy in my class? Naruto?" this time, Naruto really did slip, right off a tree branch, down to the Akimichi compound wall, in the most unfortunate position possible. He groaned and fell to the side, landing in the walkway, cupping his groin and trying not to squeal like a pig... or a fangirl.

"I know he's been very lonely most of...his...life... Naruto-san, what are you doing here at this hour?" Inoichi asked as he stared in confusion at the young blond curled into a ball, holding his balls.

"Writhing in pain," Naruto wheezed out. Inoichi flinched in sympathy and moved to help Naruto up. Once the younger blond was on his feet, one hand still gingerly protecting his bits, Ino spoke up.

"That's so weird! We were just talking about you! What happened the other day, in class?"

"I fell asleep long enough to have night terrors. Contrary to popular belief, night terrors do not set in as soon as the victim is asleep. Instead, they replace dreams and REM sleep, very violently, as you observed."

"I meant when the Hokage and that Jounin busted in," Ino said, her eyes narrowing to a squint as she appraised her fellow blond.

"That was my Jiji and my Tou-san. They were worried when I screamed."

"As was most of the T&I Department," Inoichi muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Daddy?"

"Nothing, Princess."

"Anyway, I was just on my way back to the Sarutobi compound, so if you'll excuse me..." but before he could scamper away, Ino grabbed his arm and flashed a sickeningly sweet smile that made both men in the immediate area shiver in terror.

"Oh, but I wanted to talk to you! Please don't make me wait..." she said with a pout, sticking her bottom lip out and making her eyes watery, on command, which is what scared Naruto.

 _Now I see why Inoichi-sama is wrapped around her little finger! This girl is almost as devious and manipulative as me!_

 **In the T &I Department- Main office**

Morino Ibiki felt a frighteningly cold chill run up his spine, the same he felt when he faced that little blond monster several years ago. He liked Naruto, but the boy scared him. Which in itself was a feat.

 _Why do I get the feeling in a few years I'll be so outdated that he will replace me?_ Ibiki thought uncomfortably. _And Inoichi's daughter?_ He shivered again, then resumed his paperwork.

 **Back with Naruto**

"Uh... no, I guess Oba-chan wouldn't mind if I was a little late to dinner..." he never managed to finish his thought, because Ino bolted off, dragging him behind her. He, of course could go much faster, but she didn't need to know that... if she didn't already.

They got out of the Clans' district and stopped in a park, where Ino planted him onto a bench, then glared at him.

"How did you move so fast the other day?" Naruto immediately threw up an emotionless mask that Itachi had taught him.

"I have no idea what you mean," he said calmly, already thinking of multiple ways of removing her ability to talk should the need arise.

"You had one of that Jounin's trench knives up under his chin before any of us could blink. No Academy student could do that. Explain."

Naaruto smirked haughtily and leveled his cold gaze at the young blond before him. She soon began to fidget uncomfortably.

"You might have your father twisted around your whim, but it will take a lot longer before you can manipulate me, Miss Yamanka. Try again at a later date," he said as he rose and began walking away. He got all of ten steps before he sensed a presence that he _knew_ wasn't supposed to be there, because he'd felt it when he escorted the Hokage to the Kage summit two years ago. It was a Kiri ANBU. He stopped and turned to the girl.

"Would you like me to walk you home, Ino? No young lady should walk around at night alone. Something untoward might happen."

Ino looked suspicious, but seemed to catch on to at least some of what he was saying, so she faked a giggle and accepted, wrapping her arms around Naruto's offered one. They walked silently for about a block before Naruto said something to her, leaning in an whispering to seem as though he was making a move, despite them being eleven years old. They both were going through puberty anyway, so Naruto wasn't scared. Oh the wonders of having an advanced nose, like knowing when a girl is going through puberty sooner than she should.

"I'll tell you this, I'm much more than I seem, and letting that become common knowledge would be very bad. There is a Kiri Nin following us, but I'm not sure which of us is the target. I'll walk you home to your father, then leave. Now act like I said something flattering."

Ino, to her credit, took it all in stride and began tittering and fluttering her eyelashes in a very girlish manner.

 _This girl can act well. Should Shinobi life not work out for her, she has a promising future in theatre._

 _ **Focus, Kit. Get her home, then fawn over her.**_ Naruto frowned to himself, but ignored the jab. He made small talk with Ino for the few blocks to her house, keeping his Chakra Sense open for any sudden moves by the ANBU tailing them.

He managed to get Ino to her door before the Shinobi struck, aiming at both of them. Evidently, someone wanted Naruto dead, and the Yamanaka Clan crippled. Two kunai knives flew from a tree several yards back, but Naruto whirled quicker than the eye could follow and caught them, launching them back before the assailant could react. A feminine cry of pain resounded and the Mist Nin fell out of the tree, clutching on arm and on leg. Naruto was on her in an instant, disabling the other two appendages quickly.

"Ino, get your father!" he said sternly without looking back. He could feel the dumbstruck look on her face as she dumbly backed into the house and called for Inoichi. The man came running, his long blonde hair disheveled. He zeroes in on Naruto crouching threateningly over the foreign Shinobi. He strode up next to his fellow blonde and stared down at the captive. Naruto was in the process of removing her mask. The fact that she had not crunched a poison capsule yet, showed either she was too valuable to be equipped with one, or was confident she could escape.

Naruto removed her mask, after several moments of struggling, and cold-cocked her across the jaw, throwing her head to the side. A hollow tooth danced out across the pavement, filled with a small purple pill.

"First rule of ANBU," the boy whispered menacingly to the brunette. "You get caught or incapacitated, crunch the damn pill. Even if there's a chance you can escape. You are one cocky, stupid bitch." her eyes grew wide, before he slammed his fist into her cheek, knocking her out. He then stood and turned to the Yamanaka Patriarch.

"Inoichi-sama," he said with a low bow. "I hereby surrender this Kunoichi into your custody as Lieutenant Commander of the Torture and Interrogation Department. Have a nice evening, and please give my regards and sincerest apologies to Ino-san." he turned on his heel, leaving the gobsmacked man where he stood, and strode quickly away, heading straight home. He entered through the front door to hear the sounds of dinner plates being placed, Asuma and Hiruzen discussing something quietly, and Konohamaru talking excitedly to his mother.

Naruto strode in and sat in his seat without a word, just watching his family. No-one noticed him, which was not an odd occurrence. Suddenly, Boar **Shunshin** 'd in and bowed to the Hokage, though the man was not wearing his hat or robes.

"Hokage-sama," he said in a fairly deep voice. "Several moments ago, a Kiri ANBU was captured attempting to take the life of one Ino Yamanka and one other undisclosed person. Yamanaka-sama is escorting her unconscious form to the T&I Department, under guard."

Hiruzen looked stunned, then saw the faint smile on the face of his elder grandson. He sighed and nodded.

"Very good, I'll expect a report on my desk tomorrow. But for now, I am about to enjoy dinner with my family. Good evening Boar-san." Boar saluted and **Shunshin'd** out, leaving the room silent for a moment.

"So, Naru," Asuma said with a great level of mirth poorly hidden in his voice. "How'd your walk go?" Naruto shrugged.

"Same old, Tou-chan. Did a brief workout between the Yamanaka and Akimichi compunds. You know, limber up. But I did slip in a loose twig and injure my groin," he added with a wince. Everyone in the room winced in sympathy, except Konohamaru, who looked lost. "Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary. I certainly didn't hear anything like what Boar-san mentioned." he held a straight face while his Aunt ferried food out of the kitchen. When she sat and the Thanks were said, he maintained a totally blank face, even though both his Dad, and Grandpa were trying their absolute best to not laugh. Even Shinobi can't control themselves all the time, as was evidenced by both men suddenly howling in laughter, slamming the table with their fists.

Even Kasi, the one who usually remained passive and calm, was near hysterics with mirth. Naruto smiled, and Konohamaru was looking at everyone like they'd gone mad.

Naruto just continued smiling while his family devolved further into laughter.

His identity was assuredly safe.

His family was safe.

His friends were alive.

It was a good evening.


	9. Chapter 9: Night Terrors

**A/N: Shout-out to all my lovely peoples out there! Before I do anything else, a few review responses.**

 **Kisa: No, don't worry, I haven't been updating and you just haven't been alerted, I did three chapters all at once, seeing as I had a lot of time before I managed to connect to the internet. You're good.**

 **Ozzie93: It's not so much that he caved, as much as he just went with her to see what she knew. He's an ANBU, dude. He could slaughter Ino forty-three different ways before her synapses even fired to register he'd moved. He even said it would take more for her to manipulate him. He just noted how good she was at it already.**

 **Kamui5: You know... you've never really given me reason to actually respond to you? But I digress. In answer to your questions, you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?**

 **Now then! We're nearly half-way to the announcement of the winner of the Poll! I'm excited! Which lovely lady shall it be? We'll just have to wait and see! I look forward to seeing who all you decide should be Naruto's bi- I mean, girlfriend. XD onward to Shadow!**

 **Chapter 9: Night Terrors**

Naruto yawned and stretched, his comforter falling off his torso as he sat up in his bed.

 _That was a decent nap. I even managed to get several in throughout the night. I should be good for class today._

 _ **Yes, Kit. We wouldn't want a repeat of last week, would we?**_

Naruto grimaced at the reminder of his... unfortunate situation.

 _Well, I'm absolutely sure Hinata won't say anything. And Ino... she's still a risk, but a significantly smaller one. I'll have to talk to both of them, or get Shika to._

The only response from the Demon Fox was a grunt. Naruto was dressed and heading down the stairs before Kurama spoke again.

 _ **Kit, I never truly understood. What caused you to start having night terrors in the first place?**_

 **Flashback- Eight years ago, two years before Naruto's adoption**

A _two-year-old Naruto was sitting on the curb, bawling heavily. He head just been kicked out of the Orphanage. The matron, a cruel, vindictive woman- to him at least- had shouted at him and smacked him a lot, stating that if he was old enough to walk and talk, he was old enough to fend for himself. Nevermind the fact Naruto still fell a good deal, and could only just form coherent sentences._

 _He sat there for he didn't know how long, before a silver-haired ANBU in a Dog mask walked over to him and sat next to him, placing his arm around the boy's shoulder and stroking his hair softly while humming a tune that sounded extremely familiar, he just couldn't place it._

 _"I-Inu..." he bawled. "W-whay does e-everyone hate me?!" he cried loudly and buried his face into the side of the very solid man next to him. He heard the ANBU make an unhappy sound, but he kept running his fingers, currently ungloved, through the blond locks._

 _"Not everyone hates you, Naruto. I don't, the Hokage doesn't, and Miss Snake Lady seems to like you, right?" he got a tearful nod from the boy. "How about this, I'll help you find her, and she can help you feel better. I'm on duty, so technically I'm not even supposed to be talking to you right now, but screw that." he stood and held a hand out to the still crying blonde, who took it gingerly, seriously expecting some kind of trick or being hit, which made Inu's blood boil in rage that this sweet boy, who was supposed to be his little brother, was conditioned to fear and distrust people._

 _He walked along, casting cold, angry glares from behind his mask at anyone who so much as looked at the boy wrong. To say he was in breach of protocol was an understatement, but he didn't give a damn. They walked for several blocks, before they came to the best place to find one Mitirashi Anko, or Miss Snake Lady, as Naruto called her._ _ **Quick Leaf Dango**_ _. She was between Inu, at twenty-one, and Naruto, at two, in age. Roughly fifteen or sixteen. And she was already a high-level Chuunin. The girl showed promise. Naruto had stopped crying a block ago, because he'd heard a commotion coming from the Snake Lady's favorite Dango shop. They made it, and were about to enter, when they had to scuttle to the side because two burly men wrapped in small vipers were tossed out the window, shattering it, and subsequently rolled across the street._

 _"And if I EVER catch you near this shop again, I'll make SURE you don't recover!" came a cry of anger. Naruto began bouncing excitedly, all trace of tears gone. He loved it when other people got beat up instead of him... well, he liked it when mean people got beat up. Those two he recognized as mean people._

 _"SNAKE LADY!" he cried giddily and ran through the door, leaping at Anko as soon as he saw her. She'd been prepared by his shout though. She caught him and twirled, giggling madly and hugging the boy, causing everyone in the restaurant to sweatdrop at the one-eighty her demeanor had taken._

 _"Naruto-kun! Oh, I missed you! What's it been? Three, four weeks?"_

 _"You saw me yesterday!" the boy giggled. Inu chose that moment to catch Anko's attention. She sat down the boy in her booth and walked over to him. They didn't get along well, but they had the blond in common, so they stayed cordial._

 _"Naruto was kicked out of the Orphanage," Inu said quietly, looking at the boy as he drank a soda the shop owner had brought him. Anko's face immediately showed fury. Inu held up a hand._

 _"I'll take care of that. You need to keep him happy for the rest of the day, let him sleep at your place if you can." she nodded and looked back at the child, her eyes softening._

 _"I'll ask Yuguo-nee. She'll probably say yes." with a od to each other, Anko went to sit with Naruto, while Inu_ **Shunshin'd** _to the orphanage and got to work._

 _"So, Naru-kun. What do you want to do?" Anko asked as she rested her chin in one hand, the other twirling an empty Dango stick._

 _"I dunno... Every time I go to the park, everyone ignores me, and when I stay at the orphanage, everyone ignores me. The only people who don't are you, Inu, Jiji, and the Icha... Ichiraku's!" the boy took a moment to properly say the name of the Ramen stand owners. Anko almost snickered at the mispronunciation. She loved that book series._

 _For several hours, Anko led the blonde around the village, doing different activities to keep him happy. When night fell, two ANBU appeared. Sparrow and Eagle. Eagle approached Anko and began a conversation._

 _"Anko-san, Hokage-sama requests your presence in the Tower. We are going to walk Naruto to his lodging for the night." Anko nodded, gave Naruto a deep hug, then left. When she was gone, Sparrow turned to the blonde and cracked his knuckles with a malicious chuckle._

 _A loud agonized scream tore through the village, making even the most toughened Shinobi in the village shiver in fear._

 _**I see...**_ Kurama said slowly as Naruto relived the horror of that night. When he'd joined the ANBU, he'd tracked down the two culprits and made their lives a living hell, but even that couldn't make the terrors go away. So he set up the nap schedule. He never slept long enough for them to set in. he never showed anyone the scars, because that would raise questions, and he generally avoided those.

So he remained silent and bore the horror of his past on his own.

He chose the path of suffering, rather than hurt those he loved.


	10. Chapter 10: Joining the Fold

**A/N: HALFWAY THERE! WOOHOO! But seriously, for the number of people that have followed/ favorited this story, there is a pitiful amount of votes. Seriously, I mention the poll in every chapter, but it's got no more than fifteen votes cast! If you want to see the blondie boy with your favorite lady on the ballot, cast a vote! Anyway, this time through, I only have one review to address, and I have gotten several PM's of a similar jaunt.**

 **: if you read my other stories, you'll notice I have a certain writing style. I start off slow, with short chapters, sometimes choppy but still well written. I begin making them longer as the story picks up and more pertinent things happen. A prime example is my longest-running story to date "A Dark Path to Tread" which is a Teen Titans fic. (cough cough hint hint) in this case that will happen around the time of the Wave Arc. Stay tuned.**

 **Now that's out of the way, let's get right into Naruto's antics with his friends, and maybe a few guest characters coming!**

 **Chapter 10: Joining the Fold**

Naruto walked into class with a laugh. Sasuke had just told a joke about two weasels and a bean -bag chair, which Naruto found hilarious. He felt every gaze in the room snap to him as he approached his seat. He also saw Iruka back at the front of class.

"Naruto, I trust you are well rested for class?"

"Yes, Iruka-sensei," Naruto said in a bored tone. Iruka nodded and turned to the board, finalizing his diagrams for today's lesson. Naruto sat, with Sasuke on his right and Shika on his left. Kiba and Chouji sat on the row in front of them.

"A-ano... umm, m-may I sit there?" he heard from behind him. He cast a mostly disinterested eye behind him to see Hinata standing in her way, timidly poking her index fingers together and pointing at a seat right behind him. He look further and noticed that Sakura was sitting in the adjacent seat, right behind Sasuke. Naruto nudged his friend with a discreet elbow and nodded slightly at the interaction. Sasuke turned also and frowned seeing a fangirl sitting behind him.

"Why? Trying to get close to Sasuke-kun?!" the pink-haired Kunoichi hopeful said in, surprisingly, a normal voice. Naruto cocked one eyebrow at the change in her volume level.

 _Hinata has shown no interest at all in Sasuke. Why would Bubblegum be so suspicious?_ Sasuke and Naruto exchanged a confused look, then one of annoyance as Sakura continued.

"No, that seat is saved anyway!"

"Hey, Shikamaru, you mind moving down a tier? You can sit next to Chouji." Shika caught on and gave an affirming grunt, then rose and took his new seat. Nary a 'troublesome' was said.

"Here, Hinata, you can have this seat. It's open," Naruto said with a gesture and a cold glare at Sakura. The girl wilted a little, while Hinata gave a small _eep_ and turned crimson as she took the offered seat. She steadily turned redder as the seconds ticked by. Naruto smirked at Sasuke and leaned over to the girl.

"Hinata-chan, I know you like me," he said in a low voice so only she heard him. She went totally stiff and turned so red, Naruto was sure her heart was about to fail from lack of blood to pump.

"I'm sorry, but we can't be more than friends. My reputation as a prankster has made most people wary of me, and there are other issues that your elders will have with me. I'll be happy to be your friend, but that's all I can be. Maybe you should try Kiba? He's been looking at you a lot lately."

The girl slowly turned very pale and dejected as Naruto went on. He felt bad about that, but he had to be upfront so as to not give her false hope. She finally gave a small, sad nod and rested her chin dejectedly on the desk in front of her, her eyes glazing over.

He was about to turn and talk with Sasuke again, when he heard a _fwump_ behind him.

"Ino-pig, that seat is reserved! Move!" Naruto and Sasuke broke into large grins and turned to watch the show. Despite how annoying it got, they loved watching the two rivals for the Uchiha's affections fight. Hell, if they could find the pattern and sell tickets, they'd make a killing. Naruto was currently working on finding the pattern, both of their meet-ups and their fights, and Sasuke was planning the business approach. This was the final recon for the blonde.

"Who's it saved for, forehead?! Your imaginary chance with Sasuke-kun?!" Naruto had to snort at that one, and cast a look at his best friend, holding a silent conversation.

 _"As if she's one to talk, eh?"_

 _"Well, Sasuke, she doesn't really like you all that much,"_ a confused look on the Uchiha's face.

 _"What? She's just as bad as Sakura,"_

 _"No, not really. If you watch her closely, but discreetly, you'll notice she has no heart in the rivalry. She's mainly doing it for some connection to her friend, who ended the friendship."_ Sasuke nodded in understanding and continued watching.

It still amazed Naruto that in seven months since actually becoming friends, the two had gotten to know each other so well, they could understand each other and hold entire conversations just through facial expressions. But it certainly made things interesting when they picked up each others sentences to mess with people.

He focused his attention back on the two girls, who were pushing shoulders and glaring at each other, sparks flashing in their eyes. Even Iruka was watching in amusement. Finally, Shino walked in, saw the atmosphere and turned to Naruto.

"Naruto-san," he said calmly. "May I sit with your group today? Seeing as my usual seat is within range of an extremely volatile explosion waiting to happen." Naruto _snerked_ in laughter and nodded, indicating the empty seat in the row in front of him, right next to Kiba.

"Welcome to the club, Shino. We look forward to being friends with you," Naruto said with a smile, to which Shino crinkled his eyebrows in confusion.

"Here's how it works, Buggy," said Kiba with a snicker. "Once you sit around Naruto, you start talking to Naruto. Once you start talking to Naruto, you never stop. Eventually you'll feel as comfortable in the group as you do with those bugs in your jacket."

"Um, Kiba?" the Inuzuka turned to the blond with a grunt. "Those bugs aren't in his jacket. They're in his _body,_ " Kiba's eyes grew wide and he snapped his gaze to the Aburame.

"Didn't you pay attention when you're Kaa-san taught you about the other Konoha clans?" a very, very sheepish look appeared on Kiba's face. Naruto sighed.

"The Aburame host Kikachu beetles inside their bodies, as a hive, and in exchange they are allowed to direct them, feed them Chakra, and thus are not easily susceptible to Genjutsu, on account of the constant fluctuations in their Chakra, and and gain various other benefits." Shino looked impressed, as much as he could with most of his face covered, and Sasuke scowled.

"I never got the clans' lesson..." he muttered under his breath. He looked back when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Sasuke, I'll give it to you. Come with me to my house today, and I'll help you out. THAT caught the quarreling girls' attention. Ino perked up with a confused look.

"Clans' lesson? Daddy never taught me anything about the other clans. He just said all I need to know about is Akimichi and Nara."

"Yeah, my dad said the same," Chouji said, lowering his bag of chips.

"My dad said it was too troublesome to teach me anything, really, so we just played Shogi," Shikamaru said with a frown. Kiba muttered something and scratched behind Akamaru's ear. Naruto crinkled his brows.

"What about you, Shino?"

"Father was always busy. So, no I have also not received any instruction on our fellow clans, unfortunately."

"Hinata, please me tell you..."

"Ummm... f-father w-was more f-f-focused on the G-gentle Fist." a loud _whap_ followed as Naruto drove his forehead violently into the desk.

"Of course I'm the only one with knowledge of my classmates clans. And people say _I'm_ the dobe."

"I know about the clans!" Sakura said haughtily, puffing her chest out and smiling proudly at Sasuke.

"That's great, Sakura. Now how about you shut up and let the clan kids talk, ne?" Sasuke said with a dismissive flap of his hand. The girl deflated instantly.

"Okay, how about this. All of you come over to my house today, after letting your parents know," he said quickly, with a pointed look at Kiba. "And I can give all of you the information you'll need to deal with other clans. Then, we might try to train a little," he said with a smirk, making Sasuke, Kiba, Chouji, and Shikamaru grimace. They'd tried training with Naruto once. They'd been dying of thirst and lack of oxygen by the time he was mildly winded. A stamina freak doing ANBU level training? Oh kami.

"What? We get training at home," Ino said a little snobbily.

"Yes, Miss Yamanka, I can clearly see that you put every effort to improving your shinobi skills," Naruto responded with no small amount of sarcasm. "Sasuke, would you assess Miss Yamanaka and give your honest report?" Sasuke nodded then gestured for Ino to stand and move to the aisle. She did so with some trepidation, feeling a large fear growing in her gut. He studied her critically for moment, then twirled his finger slightly. Ino spun slowly.

"Well," he said slowly. The entire class, Iruka included, leaned in to hear the verdict of the last Uchiha, upon whom everyone placed their hopes for the village. "You're weak. You wouldn't last in a real fight. You put to much stock in your appearance, and I could see you depending on your teammates instead of trying to carry your weight. There's potential for you to improve, but right now, you'd get in everyone's way." Ino seemed to deflate, even more so when she saw the disapproving look Naruto was giving her. Since when was Naruto's opinion important? He was not only an idiot, he was new to the class, yet he somehow seemed to hold the respect of everyone just by entering the room.

Suddenly, Sakura let out a loud cheer of 'Yatta!' and began dancing a small jig.

"Why are you happy?" Sasuke sent her a small glare as Naruto spoke. "You're worse than Ino is. At least she, coming from a Shinobi Clan, has a few useful Jutsu that make her not completely deadweight. You're a civilian, and only unlocked your chakra at the lesson last week. You focus so much on gaining Sasuke's attention, and preventing others from having it, you threw a friendship down the drain. You've been too absorbed with yourself and your fantasies of Sasuke that you didn't even notice Ino only puts effort into your supposed 'Rivalry' to have some sort of connection to her old friend. You're a disgusting excuse for a Kunoichi." Naruto said coldly. Sakura seemed to shrivel for a moment, but bounced back.

"What you say doesn't matter Naruto-baka, who are you to..."

"He's right," Sasuke said curtly, cutting her off. "And I'd say his opinion holds more weight than anyone else in this room. He was raised and trained by the Hokage. He probably helped out when he could and saw plenty of Shinobi and Kunoichi. And saw the aftermath of people who didn't take the career seriously." that made Sakura fall listlessly, her face falling to despair to hear her precious Sasuke-kun criticizing her so viciously.

Naruto nodded and stood. "This goes for all of you!" he bellowed to the room, looking at every fangirl and young boy who, at this moment were seriously doubting their abilities. "This is not a job, it's a career! If you don't put everything you have into it, all your time and heart, then you will die! This is not something you do to win the attention of someone, or to be cool! If those are your reasons, leave now!" he growled finally before striding to the front of the class, stalking quickly with a predatory stance.

"Iruka-sensei, I'm leaving. I need to get away from all these... _wannabe's_ ," he snarled, before he slammed the door shut, making everyone jump. Sasuke rose, casting his cool gaze at everyone in the room.

"I'm going with him, Sensei. He, at least knows the value of trying." his words drove it home for everyone. Naruto, even though he was the worst in the class, was always trying. He never gave up, and always gave his best.

Everyone had a difficult choice to make.

Do they risk the chance?

Or do they throw their futures away?


	11. Chapter 11: Save a Life, or Stop a War?

**A/N: YAAYYYY! I GOT MY FIRST HATER! You know what they say; you ain't made it 'til you got a hater. But seriously. Thank you for pointing out every cliché done in Fanfiction. It's not like there are a whole lot of options. Now! Before I do specifics, I want to thank those of you who gave me CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Now, on to individual responses.**

 **: No, I will not end up doing either of those pairings. I have a plan for Hinata, just stay tuned. And, bear in mind, HIASHI figured it out, not everyone else. Plus I even said, as much as I adore NaruHina, I want to branch out in this fic. Also, my writing style gets gradually longer as chapters progress and things begin happening.**

 **Quinn1989: Imagine how you would feel if the person you utterly loathed and blamed for the death of all your loved ones, was suddenly revealed to be one of the most powerful entities in the area. It would cause mass panic, suicide, and riots. Also, NaruHina is, unfortunately off the table, but cast your vote on the poll!**

 **Gemini-Spark: don't worry that will be explained in either this chapter or one of the next two. I haven't really decided yet.**

 **Lovelyladie15: Why do you not want a pairing? I understand Romance can encompass more than just relationships, but my view on the subject is that relationships are the strongest conduit for Romance, and that they spread the love.**

 **That's all really this time around... so, on to Naruto's lesson!**

 **Chapter 11: Save a Life, or Stop a War?**

"Naru, why are you home so early?" Asuma asked lazily, without looking up from his paper.

The blonde growled some unintelligible response and stormed up the stairs, slamming the door to his room. Asuma, and Hiruzen, jumped at the sudden noise and looked at each other in concern. Their answer came in the form on a raven-haired orphan entering the building like it was his own home.

"Hey, Jiji, hey Oji," Sasuke said with a lazy wave. The Uchiha had begun calling Naruto's family his own several weeks earlier. "He storm to his room?"

"Yep. What happened?" Asuma asked, concern evident on his face.

"Haruno Sakura said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Yamanaka Ino was constructively criticized by Naruto, and Sakura made it seem like she was better. So, he flew off the handle and made them all question themselves and their reasons for being Shinobi."

"Trust Naruto to make the next generation question themselves so early," Hiruzen sighed. "What started all of it?"

"Aburame Shino sat with us, and Kiba didn't know about his insects, which made the rest of us clan heirs and heiresses realize we knew nothing about the other clans. Naruto offered to teach us."

Hiruzen's eyebrows crinkled. "Seven future clan heads know nothing about other clans?"

Sasuke began ticking reasons off on his fingers. "Hinata said her father was more focused on their Taijutsu, Choji and Ino said _their_ fathers both said they only need to know about the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanka respectively, Shika said his dad never mentioned it because it was troublesome,"

"That does sound like Shikaku..." Asuma yawned.

"Kiba didn't pay attention when his mom gave him the lesson, Shino said his dad hadn't gotten to it yet because he was too busy, and I wasn't Uchiha heir until everyone else was killed. I was never taught about politics."

"I see..." Hiruzen began. "And would I be correct in guessing Naruto said he would teach you all about the clans of the village?" his answer was a nod. "Then maybe you should go get him, because the rest of his students are currently eavesdropping right outside our front door," he finished with a smirk as the large group of clan children fell through the door, with Kiba and Chouji on the bottom of the pile, then Shino and Shikamaru, with Hinata and Ino falling on top. **(Lol Ino-Shika-Cho in descending order)**

"I warned you we would be unsuccessful in attempting to eavesdrop on an elite Jounin and the Hokage," Shino said as Hinata 'meeped' cutely and climbed off of the insect user.

"It was worth a shot, at least," said the brash one, as his ninken growled from inside his jacket. Akamaru did not appreciate being almost crushed. Sasuke snickered heartily at the group's misfortune. Once all were once more on their feet, Hiruzen invited them to the table for some tea.

"So," he said when they were all seated. "Why are you _all_ out of the Academy early?"

The lazy genius was the first to respond.

"Iruka-sensei decided to dismiss class because he wanted to avoid something happening. Quite a few of our classmates began having life crisis right after Naruto left. We all rushed home to get permission from our parents, some more reluctantly than others," he said with a lazy glare at Kiba, who looked away grumbling.

"You'd be reluctant too if you had my mother."

"Then we came here," summarized the Nara. At that exact moment, the blond menace flew down the stairs. Before anyone even realized anything, he was out the door, leaving a trail of dust and papers, and a significant breeze, in his wake.

"Was that Naruto?" Ino said in clear confusion, her carefully maintained ponytail now disheveled, as she looked after the blur.

"The only time Naru moves like that..." Asuma began.

"Konohamaru!" He, Hiruzen, and Sasuke all shouted at once. The two older men dashed after the blonde, to assist in whatever capacity they may, while Sasuke, who knew he would only be a hindrance, remained, wringing his hands.

Kiba, Shikamaru, and Chouji, who had met the young Sarutobi walked over, and the four began a small discussion among themselves.

"What do you think it is?" Whispered Kiba.

"It's not bullies, otherwise Naruto wouldn't have been in such a hurry," Chouji reasoned.

"Troublesome... either it's Villagers being idiots, or something bigger."

"Either way, Naruto and his family are on it... I just wish I could help..." Sasuke fretted.

 **With Hiruzen and Asuma as they catch up with Naruto**

"Naru, what's happening?!"

"Someone was in Kona's room! They took him and bolted before I could even register!"

"Why didn't you follow them through the window?!" Hiruzen shouted. The blonde turned to face his jiji, jumping backwards easily thanks to his incredible balance and knowledge of the Village.

"Because then I wouldn't have back-up against who knows how many enemies!" he flipped around and dashed off again, forcing massive amounts of Chakra into his legs and feet to literally rocket him off the buildings. Soon, four ANBU and a few other regular Shinobi were joining the chase. Naruto, along with the Hyuga and Inuzuka ANBU were trying to pick up the trail.

"Uzumaki-san, why are you here?" Cobra asked calmly. The Jinchuuriki turned a suddenly scarlet glare on the man, releasing the Kyuubi's Chakra enough to make everyone in the pursuit shiver in fear.

"That's my cousin! I'll be damned before I let some scumbag hurt my family!" the Questioner fell back, holding his hands up in surrender. Naruto suddenly perked and changed paths. He was now headed to the other side of the Village, a crimson cloak forming around his body, boosting his speed even more. The group scattered, preferring to not be near the boy should he become a conduit of rage.

Only Asuma and Hiruzen were still following, and they were falling behind. A silver blur blasted past, keeping up with thee blonde one.

"KAKASHI! KEEP THEM SAFE!" Asuma screamed at his friend.

 **With Naruto**

"Senpai," Naruto said without looking back. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi cock his head in confusion for a moment.

"Wha?"

Not now, Kakashi! Where's Gai? I smell at least five guys, plus Kona."

"YOSH, NARUTO-KUN! WE SHALL DEFEAT THESE UNYOUTHFUL RAPSCALLIONS!"

"Impeccable timing, Gai," Kakashi said dryly. He got a deep belly laugh. They both looked the the blonde, who was still cloaked in red chakra, with a aura tail now.

"They stopped just ahead! I guess they didn't expect pursuit!"

"Morons," muttered the Cyclops. The trio was now just past the Hokage monument, and so were in the forest surrounding Konoha. They blasted through a tangle of branches into a clearing. They landed, ready, only to grow stiff as they saw Five Shinobi, two with Kunai held to Konohamaru's throat. The boy was crying silently.

"Oh! We were just expecting the brat, but we get the Copy Ninja and... what the hell is with that guy's eyebrows?" said the leader, one of the two with a kunai held to Kona's throat. He pressed it a bit and drew a line of blood.

"What do you want with me?" growled the blonde. His finger nails grew to claws and his whisker marks became thicker as he channeled more Chakra from Kurama.

"The Kyuubi," said one of the Nin quickly. Naruto flicked his eyes to the man, then to each one's forehead. Five Nukenin, two of them women. Formerly of Suna.

Naruto growled ferally and let his glare bore into the two holding Kunai.

"Let. The. Kid. Go."

The entire group, including Konohamaru, Kakashi, and Gai shuddered in fear at the pure malice and rage in the blonde's voice. The two with blades flinched, withdrawing their knives with the action. Naruto bolted forward as fast as he could and snatched his cousin up, then returned to his place, Konohamaru perched on his back. He created two seal-less Kage Bunshins and handed the child to them.

"Get him out of here."

"Yessir, Boss!" the clones said in unison with a salute before disappearing. The blonde turned his crimson gaze on the five Nuke-nins.

"Kakashi, take the girl on the far left. Gai, guy on far right. I've got the three in the middle."

"Cocky little Gaki, aren't you?" said the leader, recovered from his fear. "We're all elite! We were the Kazekage's elite guard!"

"Oh yeah?" Naruto smiled wolfishly as he dropped to all fours. "Well you're facing three of the deadliest motherfuckers in Konoha. How do you think you'll fare against a former ANBU, the Elemental Nations' greatest Taijutsu expert, and a pissed off Jinchuriki? What do you think, Kakashi?"

"I think Gai and I have some of the highest bounties on the Continent, and you scare us anyway." with that, the three Konoha residents dashed forward, engaging their respective foes.

 **With Kakashi**

"Fuck you scarecrow! I'll wipe the floor with you, then take the gaki!"

"Mhmm," Kakashi yawned as he pulled two kunai, holding them in a reverse grip and began slashing expertly, forcing the woman to dodge. He observed her as he made her bend awkwardly.

She was about five-foot-six, with soft brown hair. Her eyes were a light green, and set close together. A scar ran across her cheek, from ear to cheekbone, evidence of a past mistake. He couldn't help but notice she was fairly shapely with c-cup breasts and a nice firm rear. A shame. She was dressed in green shirt and light brown skirt. Her calves were wrapped in bandages.

He kept up the lazy pace of slashes, until she growled in frustration and jumped back for room. Then, she began weaving signs. Kakashi lifted his Hiate-ate, exposing his red Sharigan eye. He quickly began copying the woman's Jutsu, soon catching up to her. They unleashed it at the same time.

"Fuuton: Diatoppa!" the twin blasts of hurricane-force wind met each other and exploded outward, creating a scar in the ground.

"I'm surprised you didn't already know that one," the woman huffed.

"Not many wind users in the Elemental Nations," Kakashi said, bored. If this was Suna's elite, no wonder the Village was in ruins. "Gotta say, for an Elite, you seem fairly weak."

The woman grinned. "That's because I'm a Fuinjutsu specialist." Kakashi's eyes widened as he quickly looked down at the suddenly fizzing pieces of paper attached to his forearms and shins. He jumped at her just as they exploded.

 **With Mito Gai**

The green-clad Jounin took the _Goken_ stance he was so well known for as his foe took the stance he recognized as Suna's signature, _Kaze Subaku_ , the Desert Wind Taijutsu style. Gai couldn't stop his scowl. The Desert Wind was very fast, and very versatile, but lacked serious defense. It instead focused on dodging.

"I see you recognize my Taijutsu," said the man in a deep voice. His face, arms, and bare torso were covered in different scars, which he displayed proudly. The marks of a warrior. "I feel it only fair to inform you that I am...was the foremost expert of the _Kaze Subaku_ in Suna."

"YOSH! THEN WE SHALL MEET AS FELLOW WARRIORS! LET OUR FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHTLY!" the two men rushed each other. Gai whirled around, extending his leg.

"LEAF HURRICANE!" his opponent ducked and brought his arms to the extended limb in a vicious cross-chop. Gai felt something shift as he landed with a grunt.

"I just fractured your Tibia. Best you surrender now, before you make it worse," the man said, with deceptive amounts of a warrior's concern in his eyes. Gai just smiled.

"You WOULD have fractured my Tibia," he said as he lifted his leg and slipped off his orange leg-warmer. The now-revealed weight was cracked and sitting awkwardly. Gai removed it and then repeated the process with his right leg. He stood there, holding the weights in his hands. The Nuke-nin scowled.

"I fail to see why a couple of weights will make any difference." in answer, Gai threw said weights at his foe, who, expecting something like thirty pounds, reached out to catch them, so as to redirect them out of his way. He realized his mistake as soon as the clothed metal touched his hands and kept moving, ignoring the resistance he put into the attempted capture. He screamed in pain as gravity caught the massive weight and pinned his arms to the ground, crushing both appendages under their pressure. Some remote section of his mind, unnoticed, noted that the weight that would be required would mean Gai was so insanely strong, he could crack the continent with a single punch.

'Konoha's Handsome Blue Beast' walked over and looked down at the screaming man. He felt genuinely sad. It seemed this man that was the same as one Rock Lee, an academy student he was hoping to mentor in two years. The man's Chakra system was fucked.

"What caused the damage to your Chakra?" he asked quietly. It seemed he would receive no answer, but the man gradually stopped howling, shock setting in.

"I was hit by such a powerful combination of Lightining Chakra and Poison that it irreparably shattered my system. It happened in the Academy. I decided to focus on Taijutsu... it seemed the only option."

Gai's response was interrupted by a large explosion and metal chunks digging into his skull.

 **With Naruto**

The three outlaws converged on Naruto as he charged them. The leader was using a Tanto, the other man a Katana, and the woman was using bladed chains tied around her forearms. Naruto pulled his own Tanto from a seal he had painted on his shoulder. He moved through a furious sequence of blocks and deflections. Even still, he felt shallow cuts and slashes litter his arms and torso, slowly shredding his dark orange hoodie. He ignored the wounds to attempt to turn the tide of the battle. He saw a risky plan form, but it was his only option. He let one of the chains slip inside his guard.

The woman let out a victorious shout, thinking she had managed to seriously injure the blonde. He smiled.

"Should've aimed to kill, bitch." he snapped his blade into a link in the chain, right behind the blade, and stopped it cold. When the Kunoichi tried pulling her weapon back, he angld his tanto up and yanked with all his strength. She stumbled off balance, and he bolted forward, spinning into a roundhouse kick that connected with her rib cage. He heard several loud cracks, and the woman cried out in pain. He landed, rolled, and came up right inside the katana wielder's guard, stabbing furiously. He poked several large holes into the man's stomach, causing him to begin wheezing as he fell over. Naruto turned to the final enemy, growing his chakra cloak to two tails.

The Nukenin narrowed his eyes and hissed in anger.

"Those were my friends!"

"And you kidnapped my cousin, invaded my village, and are trying to kill me to capture a Biju. So who is in the wrong? It's the same argument we have with Iwa about the war and the Yondaime."

The man growled and leveled his Tanto.

"Speaking of your Yondaime... you bear a remarkable resemblance." Naruto said nothing as he ran at the man. Only to be stopped by an explosion that blew him off his feet.


	12. Chapter 12: The Aftermath

**Alright! This is the LAST GAIA-DAMNED TIME I SAY THIS SO PAY ATTENTION! NaruHina and NaruSaku are OFF the table for this fic! Cast a vote on the fucking poll with the choices you have! Also, MY WRITING STYLE STARTS OFF SHORT AND GRADUALLY LENGTHENS! THE NEXT PERSON TO SAY I NEED TO MAKE LONGER CHAPTERS WILL BE TRACKED DOWN BY ITACHI-SENPAI AND MANGEKYOU'D, THEN I'LL SEND SAGE-KYUUBI-MODE NARUTO AFTER YOU!**

 **Ahem... sorry. I just get irritated when I have to make the same damn note multiple times. On to responses!**

 **Iyaoyas: cliffhangers are a vital part of any good media! How else am I supposed to get you to keep reading? And yes, I agree, and did take my education VERY seriously. Writing has always come very naturally to me, so I find it enjoyable and a good stress reliever. As to haters, the way I view it is that it means I have enough people paying attention to me for someone to decide they need to try to knock me down a peg or two. Plus, they'll bitch about it to their friends, which will net me more readers, who might really enjoy it! One final note, though. I disagree in regards to NaruHina pairing. Hinata does not stay a doormat, and frequently keeps Naruto from being a total idiot. And she isn't abusive with correcting him like Sakura.**

 **Kisa: IMSOSORRYBUTYOUWERETAKINGFOREVERANDIHADTOSTARTTHENEXTCHAPTER! I feel terrible for not waiting until you posted your review on Chapter 11 before starting Chapter 12.**

 **One note, that I forgot to mention earlier, or in the summary: Obviously, Kurama is not a total dick. And, Naruto got both Yin AND Yang. So he has the full Kyuubi. That bit was so BS in Canon. And led to many a rampage. So yeah, no.**

 **Chapter 12: The Aftermath**

Naruto was in a blank white... nothing. He was literally in nothing. Before he even began contemplating that, he was flashing through his memories. So much pain... too much for one twelve-year-old.

"I know I'm not dying..." he mused out loud. "Because I'm not seeing my WHOLE life, just what I remember, mainly the pain... plus my fucking neck hurts..." he rubbed the offending body part absently, before he focused on the current memory. He grimaced. It was the Uchiha Massacre.

 **Flashback- three years ago in the Uchiha compound**

"Senpai..." Naruto said nervously. "I don't like this..."

"Neither do I, Naruto-kun. But the Sandaime has given us our orders."

"But why are you the only one taking the blame?"

"One of us has to stay and watch Sasuke, and no-one really knows you're a Shinobi."

Naruto sighed in defeat.

"And I thought I asked you not to call me senpai?"

"It's either Senpai, or Onii-chan," Naruto replied. He'd viewed Itachi as an older brother since they'd lost Saraku. As the only remaining members of the ANBU 'Black Squad', they'd grown fairly close.

"I'd prefer to be called your brother than anything else. Maybe it'll give you something in common with Sasuke-kun." Naruto chuckled and looked down from the roof he was standing on with the Pacifist Uchiha.

"We'd better get started before he gets back from the Academy."

"Hn," was the grunted reply. Naruto frowned as he pulled many senbon from his waist pouch.

" _Kami forgive us_ ," the two whispered as one. Then they vanished. They flashed from roof-top to roof-top, working their way across the compound, Itachi throwing Kunai into the spines and throats of the Uchiha members currently outside, while Naruto followed up with senbon into their vocal cords and eyes, permanently destroying both. It wouldn't do to be found out, or have Shimura Danzo get his greedy little hand on any Sharigan. They'd _barely_ managed to recover Shisui's from the man before he could implant it in himself. Killing the adults was easy, they were enemies of Konoha. But killing the children caused both great pain. They were innocent, they were clean of sin. But it had been decided there was to only be one survivor, so the Sharigan eye would not be totally lost to the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Itachi and Naruto had agreed upon Sasuke. Once all the men, Fugaku aside, were dealt with, the assassins slipped into the building and slit the women and children's throats while they slept, quickly destroying their eyes.

They now stood outside the Clan Head's home. Itachi's home.

"You'll take care of Sasuke?"

"As best I can. You'll be sure to send reports on these... Akatsuki?"

"As often as possible. I'll leave them in the spot that hurts most."

Naruto nodded. He knew where Itachi meant. With that, Itachi stepped inside and dashed to his father's study to kill the man. Naruto had the hard job. He had to kill Mikoto. He found her in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on a final meal for Sasuke.

"Hello Naruto-kun. Is it time already?" Naruto had to stop himself from crying.

"Yes, Kaa-chan," he whispered. Mikoto had always been a mother to him. He didn't know why, but she had always given him just as much love as she gave her own children. (he didn't know she was his godmother. He wouldn't until later.)

"Just let me put Sasuke-kun's dinner on the table for him." she placed a covered _bento_ on the table and knelt at her spot at the table. Waiting patiently for death. Naruto strode up behind her and rested his tantoacross her throat, tears silently streaming from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kaa-chan. I wish we could have spared you. For Sasuke's sake... and my own." with that, he drew his blade across her vocal cords and jugular vein in one fluid motion. She gave a wet gurgle, but her mouth held a sad smile. She slumped over the table as the life faded from her eyes. He forced himself to pull two senbon and push them into her eyes. Once that was done, he rushed to the sink and heaved the contents of his stomach into the drain. He felt a hand rub his back soothingly.

"Damn the council..." he panted between heaves.

"Father tried to fight back and moved to the dojo. He is dead," Itachi said quietly. Naruto nodded in acknowledgment and heaved one final time, then rinsed all his bile from the sink.

"I sense Sasuke coming, Nii-chan. He's likely to go to the dojo to let Fugaku know about the bodies outside. Meet him there, make him believe the lie. I'm... going home. I don't want to see this anymore." Itachi nodded in understanding.

"I won't say thank you, but I appreciate that you helped. Best of luck." Naruto left in a wind _shunshin_. The last thing he saw was Itachi placing a meal from the fridge in front of Mikoto to make it seem like she was killed while eating.

 **End**

Naruto woke groggily, the bright white lights of the hospital greeting his eyes. He groaned and threw his arm over his face to block out the painful luminescence.

"It doesn't help, you know," came a bored, but pained voice.

"Well no shit, Kakashi. I didn't expect covering my eyes to stop the raging headache I have. But at least it blocks out the light for now. How long was I out?"

"About a day. I only woke up an hour ago." Naruto removed his arm and looked over at the silver-haired Shinobi. His mask was, unsurprisingly, covering the lower half of his face as he grinned at the blonde. His left eye was closed, his hiate-ate on the table next to his bed, and both his arms were in casts, along with both legs.

"What in the holy fucking hell happened to you?"

"Paperbombs," came the shrugged reply. "My opponent was a Fuinjutsu expert. It was only thanks to those seals Jariya-sama put on my clothes a few years ago I'm alive."

"What happened to Gai?"

"He took a tanto to the head from the blast, and went into surgery. He's still out in the next room, and the Doctors aren't sure if he'll make it..." both men frowned in worry for the Taijutsu expert. He was their friend. Naruto said a quick prayer to anyone listening to protect the man.

"What happened to the..."

"Twelve ANBU showed up after the explosion. My opponent was obliterated by her own bombs, Gai's bled out internally, but two of yours are alive. The woman has shattered ribs and a cracked sternum, and the man has second-degree burns and a concussion, but they're both alive and in the T&I department."

"So Anko-chan and Ibiki are having fun, eh? At least someone is."

"That reminds me. Why'd you call me Senpai?" Naruto grumbled, but was saved having to answer by his grandfather entering the room and putting up privacy seals immediately.

"Because, Kakashi-kun, Naurto-kun is an ex-ANBU just like you." the cycloptic ninja's eyes both snapped open wide as he looked to the blonde, who was grinning. He quickly shut his red Sharigan eye, but continued to gape at the Jinchuuriki.

Naruto decided to use the ANBU sign language.

{What are orders, Inu-senpai? I know we must destroy an enemy base, but was not given specifics.} He was copying what he'd questioned on one of the three missions Shadow and Inu had run together, using the same little hand quirks he'd used then. Kakashi's mouth visibly dropped, creating a small cave in his mask.

"There is no way you are him."

Naruto smirked. "Then how would I know that on that mission, you killed four Nukenins, and freed five captives, three of them children, from the base in the center of the Land of Forests, which you afterword leveled with a powerful _Doton_ jutsu?" Kakashi's right eye bugged out as Naruto spoke, giving the exact details of the mission in question.

"Shadow..." Hiruzen sighed tiredly.

"I was hoping you would figure it out on your own, Kakashi, but it seems that wasn't going to happen."

"Does that mean he knows about,"

"No," Hiruzen quickly interrupted before Kakashi said anything more. "No he doesn't. And for _very_ good reasons."

"But he's PAST Jounin level! He should fucking know!" Naruto merely watched the exchange as he would a tennis match, his head going back and forth.

"He seems quite happy as he is!"

"Jiji, before you two try to kill each other, I'd like to interject that I know you're talking about who my birth parents are. I have my suspicions, but don't know for sure. So if we could settle this, I'd like to have some questions answered." Both of the older men stiffened and turned mechanically toward the Prankster King of Konoha.

"Um..."

"I've had a strong guess for a few years, which was only backed up in the fight Kakashi, Gai, and myself were recently involved in, and would like to know for sure. Would I be correct if I said my biological father was the Yondaime Hokage?" Hiruzen's shoulders slumped, which was all the answer Naruto needed. "And I'm guessing, based on my last name and verbal tic, which Tou-chan commented on by the way, that my mother is Uzumaki Kushina?" Hiruzen nodded, showing visible disappointment in himself.

"Then right now, I have only one question. Why did you keep this from me?" Kakashi glared at the older man, who was taking a while to answer.

"I... thought... I don't know. I wanted you to stay as much my and Asuma-kun's family as ever. I felt like that would stop being true if you knew..."

"Jiji, that is the stupidest reason I've ever heard. Why would I stop being a part of the Sarutobi family just because I knew who my birth parents were? I already knew I was adopted. Just because I know, doesn't mean I love my family any less." Hiruzen's eyes watered at the response.

"Now, I do have a few other questions. First, why did... Dad? Dad seal the Kyuubi inside of me?"

"It was ripped from your mother and rampaging, and he needed a newborn with an undeveloped Chakra system to contain it..."

"And I was not only the closest, but he couldn't bear to ask someone else to do something he himself wouldn't do." Kakashi nodded dejectedly at the memory of his sensei. "I don't blame him for that, I'd have done the same. He's still my hero."

"He wanted the Village to view you as such," Hiruzen put in helpfully, which caused the blonde to snort in laughter, then grab his ribs in pain.

"Second, who, if any, are my godparents? I can't believe Mom and Dad would leave me without a guardian."

"Jiraya-kun," Hiruzen said quickly, causing the blonde's eye to twitch.

"You're telling me that the pervert who writes those god-awful orange books, peeps on women, and spies for Konoha, and who is NEVER AROUND, IS MY GODFATHER?!"

 **At the same time in the Land of Hot Water, inside a bar**

Jiraya of the Sannin, who was currently disguised as a bartender and slipping a truth drug into his target's drink, felt a very cold shiver run up, down, and back up his spine. It felt as though someone was dancing on his grave, laughing, while he was buried alive, listening to the joy.

"I feel like I should either head back to Konoha immediately, or never go there again..." he muttered to himself as he placed the laced drink in front of a Kumo Shinobi. He went in back on the pretense of getting something, created a Shadow Clone, and left it to take his place, heading for his home village under some strange compulsion immediately.

 **Back in Konoha Hospital**

"Umm... yes?" Naruto growled to himself and began muttering under his breath. The other two occupants of the room heard it though.

"That son of a bitch! I'm going to shove a Bijuudama right up his ass." both men paled and sweated profusely, feeling no small amount of pity for the Toad Sage, not even daring to get mad at Naruto for calling their precious Icha Icha god-awful.

"Naruto-kun... you can use the Bijuudama?"

"Yes, Jiji. I've been training with Kurama for four years. If I couldn't use even a weak version of the Bijuudama by now, I'd be a very poor excuse for a Kyuubi no Jinchuuriki. But getting back to the topic at hand, do I have a Godmother?"

"...Not anymore..." Hiruzen said sadly. Naruto cocked his head in confusion. Hiruzen looked at Kakashi, indicating he couldn't say anything, or Kakashi didn't know about something. Everything about Naruto's career as basically known to the Copy nin now. Everything except one crucial detail. Naruto, connecting the dots, went totally stiff, his eyes widening and growing wet quickly.

"No..." he whispered to himself. "No, please not her."

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun," Hiruzen whispered just as quietly. _He_ knew.

"GODDAMNIT HIRUZEN! SORRY IS NOT ENOUGH!" he bolted out of his bed and began beating his fists on the Hokage's chest, none too gently. The old man looked pained, most likely from the lack of affectionate. "YOU SENT ME TO THAT, KNOWING THE WHOLE TIME! YOU KNEW I WOULD HAVE TO... TO..." he broke down, sobbing violently, crumpling into a heap, not even bothering to try to hide his distress. Hirzuen and Kakashi could only watch as the most emotionally unbreakable person they knew shattered.

"Hokage-sama, Kushina-chan made Mikoto Naruto's Godmother..."

"I'm well aware of that, Kakashi."

"Then why..." he, based on the reaction of the blonde, also connected the dots. "Oh my god... Naruto helped in the Uchiha massacre... he killed his own Godmother..." Naruto, from where he was, began crying harder.

"Kakashi, I have to explain, before you do or say anything else. The Uchiha were planning a coup. They were going to attempt to take over the Village. We had to stop it. Itachi and Naruto-kun volunteered. But only Itachi took the blame, as Naruto was not known to be a Shinobi."

"That explains the senbon... Itachi never used senbon. He could never really get the hang of them perfectly."

"Whereas Naruto-kun has trained with senbon extensively, alongside kunai and shuriken."

A pained gasp came from the doorway, causing everyone, Naruto included seeing as he'd calmed down some from the voices going on, to snap around and see the worst possible thing at that moment.

Sasuke was standing in the open doorway, gazing at Naruto with a mixture of betrayal, loathing, and confusion.


	13. Chapter 13: Reveal!- The Truth Comes Out

**A/N: Yeah, I know, you all hate me! So I'll get right into review responses!**

 **Kisa: I didn't know, don't worry about it! (I knew it was you because I'm ninja like that) I just felt really bad breaking... holy shit it's become a tradition, hasn't it? Hot diggity damn! Log in and check your PM's btw.**

 **Galndrael: sit down and get your note pencils ready, 'cause it's time for a lesson!**

 **Privacy seal: a fuinjutsu of varying levels that block three of the senses; sight, sound, and smell, from exiting or entering a room encompassed. In addition, Privacy seals prevent Chakra in any form from escaping.**

 **Perimeter/ Security seals: fuinjutsu that create a barrier and prevent entrance to an area. Security seals are specialized in that they lock any closed doors or windows in the sealed room.**

 **So, you see, Sarutobi activated PRIVACY seals, which were all but useless once Sasuke entered the doorway, allowing him to hear what he did. Rookie mistake Hiruzen, rookie mistake.**

 **Guardian Of The Three Planes: SO KIND OF YOU TO NOTICE! MWUAHAHAHAHA! *throws in a Oorochimaru-like cackle for good measure***

 **Redwolf1521: *bows* Thank you sir(or madam)! Never have I gotten applause! Basically, I'm not addressing anything about your reviews except Sasuke's unnoticed arrival. Because that's the only one I really feel like addressing. See above. And should that still not please you, let's just say that the three were so engrossed in the conversation, they zoned out temporarily.**

 **Chapter 13: Reveal!- The Truth Comes Out!**

All four occupants of Konoha Hospital room 564 sat or stood, staring at each other. Hiruzen and Kakashi were sweating profusely, Sasuke was staring in abject horror at his best friend, and the blonde was staring blankly at the Uchiha.

"Sasuke, I swear to Kami, if you run..." he began, only to be stopped as the raven-headed boy turned and bolted down the hallway. He huffed out a sigh with a groan. "Me and my big fucking mouth..." he then rose and took off down the hallway after his adopted brother. Moving at speeds currently known only in Kumo, he bounded off a wall, leaving a very large crater, and tackled Sasuke.

 **In Kumokagure- the Raikage's Office**

A, the current Raikage, felt a shiver run through his Chakra.

"Who the hell just moved faster than me?" he muttered as he looked up from his paperwork.

"Aye, big bro, that can't be true! Ain't no-one alive faster than you!" came the annoyingly rapped response. A scowled but kept muttering as he turned back to his mountains of documents.

 **Back with Naruto**

"Sasuke, I really thought you'd understand you can't outrun me," Naruto muttered as he hauled Sasuke back to the room he was supposed to be occupying, the pre-teen kicking, clawing, and screaming. Once inside the boundaries of the privacy seals, he tossed Sasuke forward and quickly slapped a security seal down as well. He turned to Hiruzen.

"I'll deal with you making the rookie mistake of not putting down security seals as well later, Jiji."

"Now look here, Naruto-kun..."

"Stuff it. I still have every right to give you a major ass-chewing." Hiruzen slumped down in his seat, muttering under his breath. The blonde turned to Sasuke, who was trying to pry open the window.

"It won't work, duck-butt," he said, crossing his arms. The boy turned with a venomous glare. "Sit down, shut up, and listen for once, or I'll slap your ass with a restriction seal and GLUE you down, capeche?"

Sasuke reluctantly sat down, scowling fiercely, and muttering to himself, refusing to look at Naruto.

"Sasuke, your clan was planning to slaughter everyone in the village."

"Bullshit!" Sasuke snapped, bringing his gaze to the blonde at last. "Itachi killed them for power! He did it for fun!"

Naruto strode forward and slapped him, rage written on his face.

"NII-CHAN IS A PACIFIST YOU BRAT!" All three of the other people in the room looked to the blonde in utter shock, Sasuke holding his stinging cheek. "YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT! WHAT PACIFIST WOULD SUDDENLY KILL HIS CLAN FOR POWER?!" Naruto strode away from the Uchiha and slammed his fist in to the wall, cratering it and sending cracks up the wall and ceiling. He then took several deep breaths. Sasuke was cowering, both from the outburst, and the Kyuubi's Chakra, which Naruto had just suppressed, which he had never felt before. When the blonde turned back around, his eyes were fading from crimson to their usual deep, sapphire blue.

"But he said..."

"HE LIED!" Naruto roared with such force that the other walls cracked. "HE LIED! HE LIED! HE LIED! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!" by this point, tears were streaming in rivulets down the blonde's face. "HE LIED...to protect you..." with that, Naruto fell into a heap, sobbing quietly. It struck Sasuke how much his friend must care for his brother to get this reaction.

"Naruto..."

"Shut up! You only believed what you wanted! You never saw past what was shoved in your face! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A SHINOBI!" Naruto screamed. For all his training and maturity, he was still only a child. That was best shown when those he cared for were insulted or endangered. Sasuke had the most shocked look possible, followed closely by Hiruzen. Kakashi merely looked surprised.

"If you won't believe the truth, then you should just leave!" before anyone could respond, he jumped through the window, shattering it, after sending out a powerful chakra pulse to disable his security seal. Five eyes followed him. Instantly, two ANBU squads were battle-ready inside the room, eyes darting everywhere.

"Hokage-sama, are you..."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Hiruzen all but screeched. "GO GET MY GRANDSON!" the eight Black-ops members stood a moment more, looking at each other stupidly.

"Konohamaru?" asked Eagle.

"I think he means Naruto," Yawned Kakashi. All visible skin on the ANBU turned paper white.

"Oh..."

 **With Naruto**

"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!" the blonde roared as he dashed towards the Village walls. "BUNCH OF ASSHOLES! I'LL **MAKE** THAT FUCKING GAKI BELIEVE ME!" all that was seen, heard, or felt of the blur as he shot through the village was, if you were lucky or very quick-eyed, a flash of blonde, and a strong gust of wind. Within moments, Naruto was over the wall and on his way to the spot he usually picked up reports from Itachi. The spot he'd lost both Saraku and Nasomi. About two-and-a-half years after that first mission, Saraku had gone back to pay respects, and had crumbled under her depression. She'd slashed her wrists with Kunai. Naruto had never truly recovered.

The blonde blasted through a tree, attempting to vent some of his frustration. He jumped through the branches, swinging his spare tanto wildly, hacking the limbs and trunks as he passed. He made it to the clearing in two hours. He landed, and sensed no sentient beings about, so he created several hundred shadow clones to vent his rage on. He would stay there until Itachi appeared.

The clones smirked. "One versus an army. Not the best move Boss," one shouted from somewhere to the original's left. Naruto growled and leveled his tanto, settling into his combat stance.

"Shut up and **ATTACK ME!** " he shouted, channeling Kurama's Chakra. Instead of the cloak, however, his hair turned from sun-kissed yellow to a deep crimson. His eyes became blood-red slits, his nails became claws, his canines elongated, his arms and legs clenched, visibly gaining muscle in mere seconds, and most notably, his nose and mouth grew into a vague muzzle while rust-colored fur sprouted along his body. If one didn't know better, they might have sworn he as of the Kirazekusa( **OC- Original Clan** ) clan, a clan of wolf-men who were oft hailed as the 'Hounds of War' for their penchant for battle. The clones collectively gulped.

" **No? Then I'll come to you!** " with that, Naruto channeled a mixture of his wind chakra and Kurama's into his tanto, extending the blade and making a mere nick lethal from how corrosive it was. He charged forward, hacking viciously and furiously, uncaring if he was injured or not. In seconds, his army of clones were cut down from near six-hundred to a mere two hundred. Then they regained their senses and began fighting back. They, however were not fueled by rage, and so attacked systematically, alternating groups and styles. They, as was their mandate for this battle, forced Naruto back on his heels and made him go on the defensive. He growled in frustration as he blocked a flurry of slashes, but still got cut along both arms, and several deep-ish gashes on his torso.

"What are you doing?" came a slightly confused voice from behind. Naruto turned slowly and came into sight with a red scelrea.

Itachi had come.

 **A/N: First, let me just say how weird it is I'm putting a note at the END of a chapter. I would just like to ask all of you to go read my other fics, for a very specific reason. I feel more motivated, and inspired, to work on a fiction when it gets a lot of positive feedback. Take my Teen Titans fic "A Dark Path to Tread." after the initial surge of writing mania, when it got basically no feedback, it just sort of... died. I want to work on each and every one of these fictions. They're my babies, but it's hard when I have no clue if people like them. So please, R &R my other stories as well, not just this one. That way, I can make myself somewhat happy that I'm not neglecting any. Thank you.**


	14. Chapter 14: Return! A Saviour Comes Home

**A/N: I would like to say, before it gets out of hand, that if I seemed I was desperate for readers in my post-chapter A/N last time, I am not. I appreciate all of you. Each and every one of you that even opens my fic means more to me than you could possibly fathom. I would merely request you give me feedback, either positive or constructive negative on the stories I have published other than 'The ANBU Genin'. Even if you don't I will continue my work on them, but I will be unsure of where to go with said stories, and less inclined to work on them as a result. Let me give you an example.**

 **You go to a store and see two videogames, both the same price, for the same console, which you own. The one on the right, your friends all own and gush over, saying it's one of the best things they've ever played. The one on the left, you have never heard of, never heard any mention of it at all. It's just there, and you know next to nothing about it other than the name and rating. Which would you be more likely to purchase?**

 **I guess... it' time to get to the next chapter?**

 **Chapter 14: Return! A Saviour Comes Home!**

Itachi and Naruto stared at each other from separate ends of the clearing. The blue met the red, one stoic and confused, the other full of a potent clash of rage and sorrow. Itachi, to himself, mused how often those two unfortunate emotions coincided.

"You might want to stay ready, Kyuubi-san," came a chuckled voice behind Naruto, who's eyes widened. He rolled forward quickly, barely avoiding _something_ that cratered where he had just been standing. He came up, summoning a clone to guard his back, for appearances, and turned to face his assailant. Then, his golden skin turned white as snow.

Surrounded my a quickly dissipating cloud of smoke where once stood his clones, towered a man with blue skin and hair. His lips widened into a grin, revealing shark-like teeth, and on his cheeks were what appeared to be gills. His black coat with red clouds matched Itachi's, who calmly rested his arm on the third button down, leaving his chest exposed. The blue man hefted a giant bandaged... what looked like a club. But Naruto knew better. It was Samehada, one of the Seven Mist Blades, so long as you counted the Kiba blades as one.

"Hoshigaki Kisame..." the man's smirk widened as he was recognized. He straightened, casting a dark eye to the Uchiha.

"You gonna do anything?"

"I see no need. You should be more than capable of handling one young boy," Itachi responded coolly. Naruto felt a slight shiver run up his spine, but Kisame's grin grew into a full-blown smile.

"Goody. Samehada was getting hungry. Now, gaki, I assume you actually know something about me other than my name?"

"S-Rank Nuke-nin from Kirigakure no Sato, wielder of the blade Samehada, AKA Sharkskin. Known tags are the No-Tailed Beast, and the Monster of the Mist. Ex-cipher division, who killed his own team to prevent intel leaks." the smile grew wider and more sadistic.

"I think it only fair if I ge tto know a little about you before I slice you up and pull that Bijuu of yours." Naruto immediately fell back into his old ANBU training; show no emotion, speak only what is required, and under no circumstances leave an opening.

"Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto, Adopted grandson of the Sandaime Hokage, Last of the Uzumaki Clan, and Shinobi of Konoha." Kisame's eyebrow shot up at the mention of the Uzumaki clan.

"Uzumaki? From Uzushiogakure no Sato? Peerless sealmasters, kenjutsu users, and close ally of Konoha no Sato?"

"The same." Naruto pulled his spare tanto, wielding one in each hand, the left in a reverse grip, and assumed a stance Kisame had seen only once, back in the Third Shinobi World War. The UzuRyuu Kenjutsu style of the Uzumaki clan. The Boy's arms were at right angles to his body, his legs were fluidly planted, ready to move in a blink, and hiss torso was turned to the side, minimizing the area Kisame could see.

Naruto had learned of a CLAN of Uzumaki's some time ago, and made the connection he was a member. So he did what any orphan would do given such a tantalizing carrot of family in any form. He'd done as much research as possible. Some time after Iruka had apologized, he'd found some ancient scrolls on Uzumaki fuinjutsu and kenjutsu in the Konoha Shinobi library. They were free of dust, but it was obvious none could open them, from numerous scratches on the case, evidence of nails or kunai. As soon as he'd touched them, they'd popped open like a ripe berry and spilled the secrets to the boy. He kept it a secret, naturally.

"The UzuRyuu..." Kisame breathed. Naruto gave no action. Kisame hefted his massive blade and charged the blonde, who spun to his right, extending both arms. His arms, which had a moment ago been rigid, were now flowing in circles around the duo. Itachi was surprised at the sheer skill the boy showed in such a style, which, frankly, seemed against his general nature.

Naruto, meanwhile, was trying his best to keep up the rapid pace he had set with his defensive attacks. The UzuRyuu, or Whirl Dragon, kenjutsu didn't exactly focus on any one aspect of combat, but rather it brought everything to balance. Attack to defend, defend to attack, dodge to counter, counter to dodge. If it didn't make such perfect sense to his own thought process, he'd have given up long ago. Basically, the whole style was a balance of speed, power, agility, attack, and defense. But damned if it wasn't hard to maintain. Kisame brought his sword down as hard as he could where he _knew_ the annoying gaki would be in a moment, only for his weapon to meet soil once more. He growled in frustration.

"You little..." he was bloody, cut in several places, and had a feeling the day would not end well for him. Naruto had not escaped totally unscathed so far, though. He always just barely dodged the sword, only for the ridged sharkskin to extend and cut him several times. He grit his teeth.

 _I'm still not good enough to use this against an S-ranked opponent!_ He thought frantically as he ducked under a swipe, feeling his back get sliced in several lines. _Especially when I'm still recovering from that fight with the Suna nin! I've got to..._

"Tsukoyumi!" came a sudden shout. Both combatants froze, knowing that technique well. Naruto and Kisame both tried their best to avoid eye contact with Itachi, lest they be subjected to the hellish nightmare world. Kisame, though, was unsuccessful. He fell to the ground, screaming and writhing.

"Now, Naruto-kun, we have some time to talk. Why did you come here?"

"To bring you back," the blonde grunted, dropping into a seated position a fair distance from the shark man. Itachi quirked an eyebrow.

"Sasuke overheard Kakashi-senpai talking about how I helped on... that night, after he figured it out. When I tried explaining, Sasuke wouldn't believe me."

"And so you sought to bring me back to Konoha to prove you speak the truth. What would you have done if I hadn't been able to drop a report today?"

"I would have waited until you did arrive, no matter how long it took," shrugged the blonde. Itachi gave a trademarked Uchiha smirk and shook his head slightly, closing his eyes.

"And I take it you did not receive permission before leaving the village to retrieve me?" Naruto shook his head, causing Itachi to sigh. "You could be marked as a nukenin, Naruto-kun."

"Jiji was there. He saw the whole thing and knows how impulsive I can be sometimes. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"How do you plan to get me into the village without people rioting?" Naruto smirked, both in response to Itachi's question, and the implication that the man would be coming back.

"Nii-chan, I stayed in ANBU for two years after you left. I know the patrol routines like the back of my hand. I can get you tot he Hokage tower without being discovered as easy as Jiji can scare a civilian." the Uchiha cast a look at the still-writhing Kisame.

"It seems I'm no longer staying in this organization, doesn't it?" he questioned rhetorically as he shrugged off his Akatsuki cloak, revealing a lithe torso covered in a mesh armor shirt, with ANBU pants on his legs. On his finger was a ring, which he removed after folding up the cloak. He set them both next to the Hoshigaki, then turned to his blonde companion. The two took off into the trees, running at pace. Itachi cast a side-long glance at Naruto as they moved.

"So how have they been?"

"Who?" Naruto quizzed. "My family or your Genin team from your year as a Jounin instructor?"

"Both I suppose."

"Family has been fine. As for your Genin... well, Shikozu got killed on a B-rank after he became Chuunin. Kisa and... what was his name?"

"It was rather hard to remember for some reason. Jozun."

"Kisa and Jozun both became emotionally distraught when it was announced what you did. They went from being the outspoken twerps they were, to being quiet and sullen, never leaving each other's sides unless it was a gender-specific area, like the baths or the restroom."

Itachi quirked his eyebrow again as he jumped off a thick branch.

"Did they move in together?"

"To Jozun's apartment. I'm still unsure if they're a couple or not. Jozun made several attempts on his own life, but Kisa saved him." Itachi's eyes widened at the news, and grew a little watery. Those two had grown on him with their exuberance and enthusiasm. Thank Kami he'd broken them of holding him on a pedestal though.

Naruto was also considering the duo.

 **Flashback- a few years ago; Training Ground 13**

 _Three Genin were bent over at the waists, panting heavily with their hands on their knees. As was standard formation, two males and a female comprised the group. They looked with tired eyes to their sensei, and his... assistant for the day, Uzumaki Naruto. One of the boys, a tall, lanky youth with squared glasses, a thick mop of dark brown, almost black, hair, and angular features fell over backward, flopping spread-eagle on the ground, regaining his breath fairly quickly._

 _"Jozun," panted the girl, who had about the same color hair, if just a bit lighter, down to her waist in a high ponytail. She was an attractive girl by many accounts, mainly because she had some meat on her bones, as opposed to being a twig like most kunoichi nowadays. One could almost mistake her for a thin Akimichi. "Sensei said that laying down without stretching can cause you to cramp." she was still huffing heavily, and glaring at the boy she addressed, who was now breathing normally. He merely snorted, keeping his eyes closed._

 _"Kisa we both know I'm not going to cramp up. I may not have the stamina Naruto-sensei does, but I recover quickly and my muscles adjust quickly to any given situation. Gotta love them Sekazu genes, eh?"_

 _"You... lucky prick," panted the third of the trio, a boy of average height for his age. His hair was completely different from his team-mates darker tones, being the platinum blonde of the Yamanka clan. "And... that's not the... only thing you got..." Jozun chuckled and flapped his hand weakly._

 _"It's a minor Kekkei Genkai Shikozu."_

 _"I'd hardly call what you can do minor, Jozun. Especially considering how quickly you mastered it, and so much better than the rest of your clan," Itachi commented. Naruto cocked his head in confusion just as Jozun opened his eyes, revealing a deep hazel color in his irises. Kisa grumbled to herself about his eye color, her own being a light brown so common to their village._

 _"What exactly can he do?" asked the Blonde Jinchuuriki._

 _"His Kekkei Genkai is actually very similar to the Shikotsumyaku of the Kaguya clan. But, instead of manipulating his bones, he manipulates his muscles and nerves. He can make himself stronger, faster, or improve his reaction time by running Chakra through his neural system. The downside..."_

 _"The downside," Jozun cut in. "Is that not only is it insanely Chakra consuming, if I use it too much in a set amount of time, it WILL kill me, because the increased abilities cause my muscles to break down faster and rebuild slower. On top of that, those of my clan,"_

 _"Everyone," coughed Shikozu discreetly._

 _"Who inherit the Kekkei Genkai have such weakened immune systems that if we catch a minor sneeze, we could die." Kisa frowned and patted her friends shoulder supportingly._

 _"It seems odd then, that you chose to be a Shinobi," commented Naruto._

 _"Well," shrugged the teen. "I take immune-boosters, vitamins, and generally do my best to avoid sick people."_

 _"Why DID you become a ninja?" Kisa suddenly asked, looking at Jozun. The boy scowled fiercely._

 _"I have my reasons. Let's leave it at that." Kisa scowled back._

 _"We told the group our reasons, why won't you?" she said, her voice raising steadily as she straightened and stalked up to the taller boy. It was apparent by the time he stopped growing, he would be one of the tallest people in Konoha._

 _"Because," he snarled, his eyes blazing with pain and rage in equal parts. "It's. None. of. Your. Business." Kisa took a step back, never having seen this kind of anger from the usually happy and active boy. Itachi grimaced, as he knew a little of his students' past, but not enough to comfort him._

 _"Jozun," Itachi said in a clipped tone, causing the Genin to stiffen. "We will respect your decision to keep reasons your own, but do not vent your anger towards your teammates. That would lead to lack of trust, which would bite you in the long run." The Sekazu remained towering over his female comrade a moment longer, before backing down, head bowed._

 _"Sorry Sensei. May I be dismissed for the day? I have errands to run." Itachi nodded, and the boy plodded off. The Uchiha then turned to his other students._

 _"You two may leave as well. I will see you tomorrow." the two nodded and left, chatting amicably._

 _"Those two..." Naruto said softly._

 _"Kisa and Jozun?" Itachi asked, to which the blonde nodded. "Yes, they are nearly the same. To an extent. Jozun is actually more like you, believe it or not." Naruto cocked an eyebrow in question. "His parents were... less than kind, from what I gather. He ran away from his clan when he turned seven, and has been living on his own ever since, refusing to return for anything. His exuberance is more a mask to hide whatever pain he holds." a pair of blue eyes looked after the barely visible form of the Genin, and softened. "Still, Shimizu Kisa is good for him. They normally have a healthy relationship, except when she tries to pry into his personal life. I can see them together at some point."_

 _"Really? She seemed more set on getting with you," commented Naruto, drawing a smirk from his friend._

 _"Oh, she is. But I find while you chase one person, another worms their way into your heart and diverts your attention. Kisa chases me, and Jozun for some reason helps her attempts. I seriously doubt they'll never be more than just friends, even if only for a bit." the two turned to go see the Hokage, as they had been summoned earlier for that exact time._

 **Flashback end**

( **Yeah, Kisa I f-ing went there. XD** )

"Any progress on curing Jozun's immune system?"Itachi asked quietly. Naruto shook his head.

"No, but he puts that regenerative ability of his muscles to good use training. He runs himself into the ground more than I do, only for his muscles to build back up overnight to repeat again the next day. He's already about as strong, physically, as Rock Lee."

"The academy student unable to use chakra?"

"Gai's student now, but yeah, that's him." the two suddenly stopped moving, staring ahead of them.

Konoha waited.

With heavy ANBU presence on the walls.

"Well, shit."


	15. Chapter 15: A Problem of Pride

**A/N: Heyo, everybody! Now, I want to thank you all for your continued support.**

 **I've been reading ALOT of fanfiction for a long time, because I really enjoy reading, and I can read fanfiction on my phone, and there are a few things that really piss me off, aside from the obvious one of 'terrible writing'.**

 **Time Travel fictions when time travel is not a canon thing.**

 **Gary/ Mary stues/ Godlike characters.**

 **Crossovers. Even Canon ones, such as Jimmy Neutron and Fairly OddParents. Somthing about two Universes that do not belong together, because of differing logic or whatever, meeting really makes me want to kill off a Main Character.**

 **I can't explain why I hate these with a fiery burning passion, but I do. Godlike, though is the absolute worst. NO MORTAL CAN BE A GOD. STAHP. Look at both the Sandaime and Yondaime Hokages in Canon. They were literally hailed as Gods. AND THEY BOTH DIED.**

 **So, yes, I do requests for stories. But if you suggest I do one of those three, I will probably not only not do it, I just might snap and lash out at you. You have been forewarned.**

 **Other than that, the only thing that doesn't so much piss me off, but does irritate me is if the main character goes betrayal mode for no reason. I.E. Naruto, for no obvious reason, just suddenly kills Kakashi after his fight with Pein and takes over Akatsuki. IT MAKES NO SENSE. Either give a reason, or make him part of Akatsuki from the start, having no ties to Konoha or Kakashi.**

 **A few review responses!**

 **Kisa: I was already planning to put you in the story, but you said 'let's be ninjas together', so I couldn't resist putting a naruto'd version of myself in. I'm sorry your dad thinks you're insane though.**

 **Batman1998: Nope. You're not late yet. I'm keeping the poll open until chapter twenty, so as soon as the poll goes down, you'll all know I'm about to post the results in chapter twenty-one. So go to my page and cast your vote as quickly as possible. I'm not sure about the make-up of Team Seven, or even if I'll KEEP Team Seven. The story just sort of writes itself mostly.**

 **Darkhuntressxir: It's Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Itachi. The ANBU couldn't stop them in Canon, so why would they be able to when Naru is ANBU himself?**

 **Chapter 15: A Problem of Pride**

"Now what?" Itachi asked calmly. He was sure his blonde companion had a plan. Naruto always had a plan.

The blonde was rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He had an _idea_ , but no solid plan just yet.

"Kakashi's incapacitated," he mumbled to himself. "Gai's half dead. Tou-chan isn't strong enough, and I can't do it myself... hmmmm..."

"What are you planning?" Itachi asked, suddenly very nervous and suspicious. Everyone he'd just listed were Jounin.

Both were surprised by a voice that appeared next to them, as though with the _Shunshin no Jutsu_.

"Huh. Sensei must have stepped up security. Is he expecting an attack?" Naruto turned mechanically to face the speaker, his eye twitching.

"Jiraiya. So _nice_ of you to suddenly appear just when I need someone as strong as you." Jiraiya jumped a bit, not having noticed the two he appeared next to. He recognized Itachi, but stopped himself from swinging, seeing as neither was moving. Aside from the eye twitch on the blonde, who looked vaguely familiar.

"Who..."

"That can wait. For now, I need you to shut up and play along."

"Gaki, do you know who I am?" he said, puffing out his chest and glaring.

"Yes I do. And I will deal with it later. But right now, we need to get _him_ ," he jabbed his thumb at the Uchiha. "To the Hokage tower, to speak to your sensei. So, I'm going to make him and myself look like we had our asses handed to us, and your going to lead him through the village tied up."

"Naruto-kun," Itachi said suddenly, frowning fiercely. Jiraiya's eyes grew wide as the boy's name was said. "I don't..."

"Stow it. The story is I was out for a run, and you found me and beat me to hell. Jiraiya found us just as you were about to kill me, beat _you_ to hell, and tied you up to bring you in. We traipse right through the village proper, no muss, no fuss, no sneaking past the heavily ANBU guarded walls. Now hold still, I need to make you look like you got pummeled."

Itachi opened his mouth to argue, his scowl growing, when the blonde suddenly slugged him across the jaw, effectively shutting him up. Naruto made quick work of making Itachi look like a bruised, bloody, and beaten prisoner, before smearing a lot of dirt on him, then tying his hands, and slapping a fake chakra restriction seal on him for good measure. He then created a Shadow Clone, who immediately, with a rather disturbing smile, made the original look much the same.

"I'm not sure how I feel about his plan, Gaki," Jiraiya said uneasily. "Isn't he an S-Ranked Nukenin?"

Naruto rounded on the Sannin with a glare, causing the man to shiver. "You don't have a choice, Jiraiya. Either you help, or I let every woman in the Village know you're in town."

"FUCK! Fine!" Growled the perverted Toad Sage. He already hated the kid. The three made the short trip to the road, backtracking to appear further down, and not right in front of the gate, with Itachi slumping his shoulders, and Naruto looking extremely defeated. His clone had done a number on him.

They walked right up to the gate, causing Izumo and Kotetsu to gape stupidly.

"Hey guys," Naruto said weakly.

"Jiraiya of the Sannin, escorting a prisoner to the Hokage, and a stupid Gaki who slipped out," Jiraiya said calmly, tugging the rope in his hand a little, causing the Uchiha to stumble.

 _Curse Naruto-kun and his insanely good prisoner knot_. The man thought as he nearly fell on his face. Izumo nodded and waved them through, his mouth hanging open. Kotetsu stepped in front of Itachi though, a fire in his eyes.

"This is for Narumi," he growled as he drove his fist as hard as he could into Itachi's gut, doubling him over. He was strong for a Chuunin. Naruto hid his grimace.

Itachi hadn't killed Uchiha Narumi,who had been dating Kotetsu. Naruto had. But he wasn't saying so.

"Get this _scum_ out of my sight," the bandaged man snarled, returning to his spot. The trio continued down the road, Villagers and Shinobi alike quickly noticing. They soon had a crowd surrounding them, throwing things at the bound Itachi. They were four blocks from the tower when Jiraiya decided enough was enough.

"ENOUGH!" He roared, releasing copious amounts of Killer Intent. "DON'T YOU ALL HAVE THINGS TO DO?!" the crowd quickly dispersed, not wanting the man mad at them. The group reached the Hokage Tower without any more problems.

Once inside, they were suddenly surrounded by four ANBU, who escorted them to Hiruzen, who was sitting behind his desk, rubbing his temples and smoking his pipe.

"Naruto-kun, I love you, but you are a pain in my ass. ANBU, you may go." the Black-Ops members nodded, saluted, and left in short order. Naruto immediately broke into a large grin as Hiruzen activated the Privacy seals in the room, and placed a Security seal on the wall as well.

"Oh, come on Jiji. Things would be boring if I wasn't around."

"Exactly," the old man sighed. "And oh how I would relish the silence." The Blonde pouted at that. Itachi pulled his bound wrists to his chin and coughed into his hands.

"Ah, Itachi-kun! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!" Hiruzen said brightly, with the fakest grin any of the three other people had ever seen plastered on his face.

"I'm sure, Hokage-sama. Now, could you please explain what happened? Naruto gave me the basics, but I'd like a more detailed reason I'm back. And Naruto-kun?" the Jinchuuriki looked at him with a foxy grin. The Uchiha smiled creepily, causing a shiver to run down both Hiruzen and Jiraiya's spines. " _Get this rope off my fucking wrists._ " Naruto shrugged nonchalantly and flicked a _senbon_ at the ropes, weakening them so Itachi could pull them apart, which he did immediately. He sat in an available chair as he rubbed his wrists to get circulation back as Hiruzen began speaking.

"Well, Sasuke-kun walked into Naruto-kun's hospital room in the middle of a discussion pertaining to the Uchiha Massacre,"

"Yeah, because you forgot security seals," grumbled Naruto with his arms crossed. Jiraiya moved to bonk him on the head, but found instead several _senbon_ raised in a fist, ready to impale his knuckles. "I'm not a Civilian, Jiraiya. It'll take _a lot_ more than that for me to be hit on the head," the blonde growled without looking. The white-haired man just scowled.

"And when he refused to accept the truth," Hiruzen continued with a mild glare at the Duo's antics. "Naruto-kun became very... _annoyed_ ,"

"Putting it mildly," snorted Naruto.

"And left to apparently retrieve you to verify his story, without first consulting wether or not this would have any negative repercussions. _Like extra paperwork for me_ ," he added with a barely concealed hateful glare at his grandson. The boy shrugged.

"You do it all with _**Kage Bunshin**_ anyway."

"You are very disrespectful to the Leader of the village you live in Gaki. Don't you know he could exile you?" Jiraiya ground out. Naruto looked up at him, his sleeveless hoodie-vest flopping with the motion.

"You do realize he's my grandfather, don't you? On top of that, I seriously doubt he's going to exile the ONLY Jinchuuriki he's got just because of a bit of sass." Jiraiya's response was to very impressively imitate a fish out of water.

"Asuma adopted him, and he's known about the Kyuubi for..." Hiruzen ventured.

"Five years," Naruto finished. "I've been training with him for four, and probably know as many _Katon_ jutsu as all three of you combined," he said with a gesture to all three men. Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of which!" Naruto said brightly, lifting his right index finger in realization. He then turned to Jiraiya with the creepiest, most sadistic smile in existence, causing Hiruzen and Itachi to be IMMENSLEY grateful they weren't the Toad Sage.

"I still have to pay you back for twelve years of neglect!" Naruto declared as though he was giving the greatest gift in the world. The Perverted Sage paled so much, his hair looked dark.

"W-what do y-you m-mean?" he stammered, breaking into a cold sweat.

"Oh, I think you know, _Godfather_ ," Naruto said with the same tone and smile.

 _He would make both Orochimaru and Anko equally proud and terrified with that._ Thought the two older occupants of the room.

 **Somewhere in the Land Of Rice Patties**

"Hichu!"

"Gazunteit."

"Oh, thank you, Kabuto-kun. Hmmm, It seems the allergens are out in force this season."

"I'll get the serum, Orochimmaru-sama."

"Thank you." a loud scream echoed through empty halls. "Oh, do make him be quiet while you're at it."

"Hai."

 **Back in Konoha- Anko's Favorite Dango Shop**

"AAAACHUU!" Sneezed a pruple-haired Tokubetsu Jounin with a Dango stick poking out of her mouth.

"Bless you," said a surprised Ravenette with red eyes. The violent sneeze had interuppted her spiel about Asuma.

"Thanks, Nai-chan" Replied the other, rubbing her nose and sniffing a bit. "So, what were you saying?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, He's just so..." the first zoned out again after that, thinking about a certain blonde.

 **Back in the Hokage's Office**

"Listen, Gaki, I think,"

"That I've got the wrong person?" Asked Naruto, still smiling, as he took a step forward, forcing the Sannin to retreat a step. "Nope. You're not weaseling," here, Itachi couldn't help but snicker a bit. "out of owning up to your responsibilities any longer." Naruto punctuated his declaration by lifting his hand, palm outward, vertically toward the man. When Jiraiya bolted for the door, Naruto tracked him, as a dark, swirling ball of compressed demonic energy appeared in his hand. His finger nails grew into claws around it as his slender fingers wrapped around the destructive little sphere. Then, he sprinted after Jiraiya, who had kicked the door down and bolted down the hall.

" _ **MINI BIJUUDAMA!**_ "

"SOMEONE HEEELP MEEEE!" was soon punctuated by a very loud, very agonized howl of pain that echoed throughout Konohagakure no Sato.

Far away, in the middle of a gambling hall, a woman with her blonde hair in twin pigtails couldn't help but show the broad smile that suddenly forced its' way onto her face, despite how badly she was losing.

 **Omake: Ibiki's Interrogation**

A small form slipped discreetly into the T&I Department of Konoha. It was completely shrouded in darkness.

 _I don't know why Jiji insists I get this ah..._ _ **evaluation**_ _done before I'm allowed to join ANBU._ Thought one Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto as he sneaked past several Jounin and Tokubetsu Jounin. He preferred anonymity, considering his Shinbi record was an SS-ranked secret and he was basically a shadow. He didn't exist inside the standard Shinobi system, and he wasn't openly registered. Very few knew he WAS a Ninja. He made it to his destination and closed the door behind him with a quiet _click_.

"You're early Gaki," said a gruff voice from behind him. He snapped around to find a towering man in a black trench coat with his arms crossed and his hiate-ate covering his whole head like a bandanna. He had two scars running down his face.

"Would you rather I be late? I could start taking after Kakashi." the man scowled.

"Early is fine Naruto. Sit down, I need to test a few things."

"I'm not sitting in a chair that has restriction seals on it." Morino Ibiki's eyebrows shot up at the comment. No-one, not even Jiraiya of the Sannin, had ever noticed the seals before sitting down. "So what say we remain standing, you ask whatever you need to, and I get going?" Ibiki smirked.

"Alright. But from the look in your eye, it seems like you have a question for me first."

"Yep! I've always wondered; What's your biggest secret? I aleady figured out Anko-chan's, Jiji's, Tou-chan's, Kakashi's, and Hyuuga Hiashi's, but yours is a bit harder."

"Why so curious?" Ibiki asked with a growl. Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment.

"You should try using that, or something like it, in your Interrogations. But like, put emphasis on the 'h' in why, and say the last bit all drawn out a hissy. Try serious instead of curious," he said, causing Ibiki to nearly face-fault. "Plus, it's just a hobby of mine. It's not like I'll tell anyone. I just like to know about people around me." Ibiki nodded at the response, but was giving serious consideration to the boy's suggestion. He was muttering under his breath, trying out different ways of saying it, like the Blonde suggested. Naruto grinned.

"Whatcha got so far?"

(Imagine the scene from _The Dark Knight_ where Joker is telling his 'story' to Gambol.)

"W **h** y so serious-uh?"

"Noice, noice," Naruto nodded approvingly. "Anyway, the secret?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Would you rather buy me Ramen?" Ibiki turned deathly pale and broke into a cold sweat. He knew quite well about the boy's... _habit_. It was said to be worse than Anko's, and he'd had to pay for Anko's Dango once after losing a bet. He'd been broke for a week. He could only imagine how long he'd be in debt if he paid for _Naruto._

"You... c-can't make me do either," Ibiki said shakily. Naruto grin became sinister.

"My Jiji is Hokage. He could order you to pay for my Ramen as punishment for something. He's done it to Kakashi more than once for his tardiness." Ibiki gulped loudly. He'd always thought those stories were just that-stories. "Or you could just spill and I'll be on my merry way, and you keep your wallet full." Ibiki saw no other choice.

"Alright! Alright! * **heavy sigh inserted here*** My biggest secret is..."

 **A/N: And CUT! That's a wrap people!**

 **Ibiki- You just HAD to make the Gaki a manipulative Prick, didn't you?'**

 **Jiraiya- And why so strong? *Grimaces in pain and attempts to sit down***

 **Hybrid(me)- Yep! And come on Jiraiya, you did kind of deserve that one. You knew about him, and you ran. It's as simple as that. You ran away, just like Tsunade. You had a more legitimate excuse, but you still fled in holy terror.**

 **Itachi- How the hell did I get here?**

 **Hybrid- Oh, Senpai! I reverse summoned you to give you a minute away from Kisa. Ya seemed miserable. (no offense Kisa)**

 **Naruto- *Looks at poll choices* What the hell!**

 **Hybrid- What?**

 **Naruto- You're auctioning me off to the highest bidder you SumBitch! Plus, don't people usually try to put like... Kamui, Kin, Fuu, and a bunch of other background chicks in those?**

 **Hybrid-Meh, you'll get over it. And I tried to narrow down the choices to most possible and most popular. I didn't want like... twenty choices. I'd never get a straight vote. SOMEONE would tie for lead.**

 **Kotetsu: Yo.**

 **Hybrid- KOTETSU GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'LL GET YOUR SPOTLIGHT MOMENTS! *Kicks him out* Anyway, I'll be trying to make these post-, and maybe pre-, chapter convos a bit more common. I might even have a few reader interviews! (beccause hey, why the hell not?)**

 **All- Ja Ne!**


	16. Chapter 16: Team Twelve! Jozun's Rage!

**A/N: Two chapters at once, because I got really bored waiting to be able to connect to internet. And Congrats on making this more popular than all my others combined. This is more of a filler chapter than anything.**

 **Chapter 16: Team Twelve! Jozun's Rage!**

It had been three months since Itachi returned, and Sasuke had _finally_ accepted the truth, with many headaches on Naruto's part. The Uchiha brothers were living together, but Itachi and Naruto were both jumpy. They had yet, in three months, to see Jozun and Kisa, despite how quickly the news of the Uchiha's return spread.

Naruto, Itachi, Sasuke, and Asuma were currently in the market, getting ingredients for a dinner at the Sarutobi house, when a violent fit of coughing and wheezing, which couldn't possibly belong to Gekko Hayate, as he was out of the Village, caught their attention.

"Jozun," a feminine voice clucked sternly. "I told you to take your medicine before we went out in public!"

"I'm fine, Kisa," panted an obviously very tired male voice. "It hasn't killed me yet." Itachi stiffened a little. Glares, he quickly got used to. But his Genin team?

"Naruto?" he said lowly. The blonde hummed, watching for the duo. "What rank are Jozun and Kisa?"

"Jounin and Chuunin." the Uchiha cursed quietly. But not quietly enough.

"Jozun? What's wrong?"

" _ **Limit Break: Comet!**_ " came a loud cry, followed by a wave of dense Chakra. Itachi didn't have time to even flinch before a fist buried itself in his face, sending him backwards into a wall. Where he stood, there was now a tall, dark-haired young man with fury in his eyes. He stood a moment longer, before hunching over and coughing violently into his hand. When he rose, wheezing heavily, he looked to his target, but only saw a log. A heavily splintered, sad little log.

"COWARD!" he roared as a young woman about his own age, standing about 5'2", ran up to him and swatted him on the arm, which he ignored. "COME OUT AND FACE ME _SENSEI_ " he spat the word with such malice, a ring was quickly cleared around him. The civilians and Shinobi alike knew of this man's temper. Itachi felt his heart break as he _**shunshin**_ 'd in front of his student.

"Jozun. I see you've grown." the young Jounin spat at Itachi's feet. Everyone noticed the ball of saliva was mostly red, but none dared comment.

"You have the _nerve_ to show your face here after what you did? What you put us through?" Shimizu Kisa was silently standing to the side, trying to decide between stopping the Sekazu, or joining him.

"We were treated like _scum_ , because YOU mentored us!" Continued the towering man. Despite being only sixteen, he was already easily six foot. Itachi noted his glasses were gone. "We were more hated than Anko-sensei!"

"It was not my intention for my actions to impact you." the calm response seemed to finally set the teen off, because he bolted forward with a roar, a _tanto_ leveled to pierce Itachi's heart.

" _ **Limit Break: Demon!**_ " came the belated cry, which caused Kisa to gasp loudly and cover her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. Itachi jumped away, and lucky thing, considering where Jozun had just stabbed was literally disintegrating under the force of the impact. Moments after his attack, Jozun doubled over on his knees, and hacked up a wad of blood.

"Jozun, stop!" Naruto cried, finally deciding to intervene. The Kekkei Genkai user just glared at him with one eye, the other being closed in pain as his right arm wrapped around his abdomen. "If you use it any more, it WILL kill you."

"I...don't...care..." panted Jozun as he rose unsteadily to his feet. "He needs...to answer... for breaking Kisa's heart. He needs to be punished... for getting Shikozu killed."

"He didn't mean to do either, Jozun."

The man fell to one knee in pain with a hiss, tears leaking down his face. Kisa ran to him, fussing. She completely ignored Itachi as she ran right past him. She reached into a pouch and pulled out some pills, trying to push them into Jozun's hand or mouth, but he struggled to rise and forced them away.

"This isn't about either of them, is it?" Itachi said quietly. Jozun snapped a glare to him. "You're mad at me for what I did to _you._ "

"SHUT UP!" Jozun rushed his former teacher once more, but was stopped when Itachi buried his fist into Jozun's gut. He doubled over the arm.

"I didn't mean to abandon you, Jozun. I didn't keep my promise, and I'm sorry." he set his student down as Kisa came up next to him and began shoving a couple pills down the panting Jounin's throat, while simultaneously activating a _**Mystic Palm Jutsu**_ to try to heal him.

"When did you become a med-nin?" Itachi asked calmly as he stood back from his students.

"Right after you left," spat Kisa. She'd finally managed to even out Jozun's breathing, and he was unconscious. She stood and tried to lift the man, so as to take him back to his apartment. Naruto moved forward to help, but she smacked at him with a growl. "I can do it."

"How bad has he gotten?" Itachi asked softly. The question caused Kisa to tear up. She turned away slightly as she adjusted Jozun's arm around her shoulder.

"Bad enough that the only person able to help him is Tsunade. Now, I have to get him home." with that, she began in the direction of the Jounin housing, Jozun's feet dragging, considering his much greater stature.

Itachi barely managed to suppress a small sob at the news that his student was dying. He fought, but his weakened immune system was waging a war of attrition. Cell by cell, organ by organ, Jozun was dying. His Chakra was poisonous to him, and his body was fighting itself. The man's very chemistry was ripping him apart. It seemed he would lose another person he cared about.

"Nii-san, who were they, and why did he attack you?" Sasuke asked. Everyone had totally forgotten the boy was even there. Asuma coughed as he rested his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Let's... head home Naru. I'm sure sis is ready for these ingredients."

"Good idea," replied the blonde, before they both beat a hasty retreat, leaving Itachi with his brother.

"Hn. Chickens. Sasuke, those were two people I mentored when I was a Jounin." the youngers' eyes widened, before Itachi noted everyone around them was still staring. He released a bit of his KI with a glare. " _Don't you all have somewhere to be?"_ the crowd quickly dispersed.

"You... taught a Genin team?"

"Hai." Itachi was fully unprepared for the swift kick in his shin, which made him double over to clutch the injury.

"And yet you never had time to teach _me_ anything?" bit out Sasuke. Hey, just because he accepted the truth, didn't mean he totally forgave his older brother for everything. Itachi frowned at his _beloved_ little brother.

"Otouto, I taught you more than you know. Plus, I didn't _request_ to be a Sensei, Hokage-sama _ordered_ me to. But if you feel THAT strongly about it, I'll begin teaching you."

"It's no use now!" Sasuke said with a huff. "Naruto is already training me." he turned away and crossed his arms. His high-collared blue Uchiha shirt shifted with the motion. Itachi's eye twitched violently.

"He's what?" Sasuke smirked, knowing he'd struck a nerve in his older brother.

Vengeance was so sweet.

 **Jozun: Oh sure, make me look like the asshole why don't you?**

 **Hybrid: Dude, you're basically me. We ARE assholes.**

 **Jozun: Oh yeah.**

 **Asuma: Man, I never want to train a Genin Team. So much Drama.**

 **Naruto: Tou-chan you're so freaking lazy! And stop smoking! You're going to give ME lung cancer!**

 **Hybrid: Okay guys calm down. But seriously, Asuma? You're still teaching Team Ten.**

 **Asuma: Oh come on! I'll be a worthless Jounin Sensei! I'll just play Shogi with Shika, and make all their team meetings teamwork exercises! I'll make them get any real training from their parents!**

 **Hybrid and Naruto: THE HELL YOU WILL!**

 **Naruto: I'd think you'd have learned a few things about training kids while raising me, you lazy bum! How the hell are you the son of a Hokage?!**

 **Hiruzen: Naruto-kun you should know better than anyone that the sins and skills of another should never be passed on!**

 **Naruto- I just meant his laziness! Seriously! You'd think with his Dad being Hokage he'd be a bit more motivated!**

 **Hybrid- Well looks like we're out of time! See you all later! Ja Ne!**


	17. Chapter 17: Poker Night With Naruto

**A/N: At this point in time, let me just say: To the long-dead guy who invented/ discovered/ created Coffee: YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD. Your creation keeps me going when I have had no sleep, and, fun fact, drinking coffee relieves Asthma symptoms. True story. Been testing it extensively for two weeks. Great Bronchio-dialater. Anyway, on to our first interview!**

 **Hybrid: Hey everybody, let's give a big, big round of applause to my first, favorite, and ONLY fangirl; Kisa Shimizu 16! Welcome to the set, Kisa!**

 **Kisa: LET'S DO THIS!**

 **Hybrid: I'd like to ask, what made you open my story in the first place? What drew you in, got you interested?**

 **Naruto: She was probably just browsing idly like you do sometimes.**

 **Hybrid: Oi! I do not 'idly browse'! I read the works of other authors to see if I get inspiration, or if there are stories I myself would like to read!**

 **Kisa: Well... I was actually just looking for Naruto AU's that made him strong, have love, and made it to where it just does NOT follow Cannon...much... but when I ran across this story, I was blown away by the first chapter! :3 :)**

 **Hybrid: So, when I actually started conversing with you through my story, how did you react? I mean, I can imagine you were excited, but how much?**

 **Naruto: Enough to keep reading.**

 **Hybrid: Shut up, Naruto.**

 **Kisa:Yeah, I was super stoked. It was actually the first time anyone mentioned something I had said, so when I saw you mention my comment in the second chapter, I totally did the Fangirl squeal, like 'OMJ OMJ OMJ I MADE SOME-ONE FEEL SPECIAL!' type thing!**

 **Hybrid: *smiles* Well the feeling was mutual. Now, as a major player, technically speaking, in this story's development, where do you, personally, want to see it go? Outside the subject of Senpai, please.**

 **Naruto: Yeah, it's kinda creepy how... avid, you are about Nii-chan.**

 **Hybrid: Nice abscond.**

 **Senpai: *twitches* Hn.**

 **Kisa: Wellll, I WOULD like to see where things go with Jozun, but I still kinda wanna be with Itachi... but you're the one in control of my destiny! Am I a bit scared about you having that control? Not at all! (okay, maybe a bit...)**

 **Senpai: *wishes Shisui was here to save him* meh.**

 **Hybrid: Well, looks like that's all the time we have. Thanks for talking with us, Kisa! We hope you keep reading (even though we know you will), and look forward to hearing more from you in the future!**

 **Naruto: Oi, Nii-chan! Don't forget you lost that bet with Sasuke! You have to pay for my Ramen next time!**

 **Senpai: *heavy sigh***

 **Chapter 17: Poker Night With Naruto**

"Three years..."

"Naruto, are you ok?" Sasuke asked as he watched the blonde playing Shogi with Shikamaru.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I just realized tomorrow is graduation. Three of the worst, but also somehow the best, years of my life end tomorrow." if one looked closely, one could see a solitary tear trickling down the blonde's cheek; shining, bright, and innocent. Before it got rudely crushed by a roughly calloused hand that the Jinchuuriki had discreetly put up to his face in his 'thinking pose', as his friends had dubbed it. Then he made a move with a knight that made the Nara grip his hair in frustration.

"Checkmate." the blonde had maneuvered Shika's king into a corner, without his notice, and pegged it with a Castle and a Bishop. Oh, the beauty of being a Shinobi.

"B-better luck next time, Shika-kun," Hinata said calmly from where she was stirring a pot next to Choji in the Sarutobi kitchen. Throughout the time she had joined the large group of friends, Naruto had been helping her with her stutter and confidence issues.

"Smells good in there!" Kiba said as he bounded down the stairs, followed by Akamaru and Konohamaru, who both made sounds of agreement. Naruto's young cousin, for some inexplicable reason, had taken to following the Inuzuka Heir and acting nearly subservient to him. Much to Naruto's great displeasure. Kiba moved to enter the kitchen, probably to try sneaking a taste of whatever the two were cooking, only to go into full retreat as forks were thrown at his head and stuck in the wall. He hid behind Naruto.

"Kona, go wash up before the Heads arrive," Naruto said to his cousin calmly as he folded up the Shogi board. Though he had been following Kiba, Konohamaru knew better than to listen to him over Naruto, and so rushed back up the stairs to clean himself and get on fresh clothes. Tonight, the Sarutobi house would be full of important clan heads, the most powerful people in Konoha. Tonight was Poker Night. Every third Thursday of the month, Hiruzen would invite all the clan heads for poker, and occasionally a few members of the civilian council as well.

At that exact moment, there were several knocks on the door, and Naruto rose to answer. His friends, sans Hinata and Choji, who were still cooking, zipped up the stairs as quickly as they could. None wished to face their parents, or siblings, at the moment. Naruto opened the door and smiled, bowing slightly to his numerous guests.

"Welcome to Poker Night! Jiji will be down in a moment, but in the meantime, please find a seat at the table and get comfortable!" he stepped aside to allow a stream of people through.

Hyuuga Hiashi gave him a slight nod, Inuzuka Tsume ruffled his hair on her way by, as did Yamanak Inoichi, Akimichi Chouji silently put a pot in his hands with a smile. The man always brought his wife's famous stew to poker night, which was summarily stored for later to feed the family and the pot returned later. Nara Shikaku muttered a greeting. The next guest was a surprise to Naruto. Haruno Meubiki walked through the door, accompanied by her daughter Sakura. The young pinkette took one look at her host and silently followed her mother. Naruto merely blinked blankly.

"Yo," came a lazy greeting by a silver-haired Jounin.

"So, the Hatake Clan _finally_ accepts Poker Night invite, eh?" Naruto said dryly. Kakashi merely shrugged. A bout of hacks caught Naruto's attention, and he turned to see none other than Jozun entering, massaging his throat gingerly. Naruto's eyebrow shot into his hairline.

"Jozun? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for Poker." a blonde eyebrow shot even higher.

"Uh..."

"Sekazu Clan head." the other eyebrow joined the first.

"You went back to your clan?" Jozun grimaced.

"Didn't have much choice after my old man croaked, and the Clan Elders couldn't agree on anyone else to replace him. So they sent out a desperate plea to the Clan Heir, me, to return and assume... how did they put it? 'My rightful, required, and righteous position as the most noble clan head of the great Sekazu Clan,' frankly, it's a bigger pain than having Kisa on my case for forgetting my medication, but it's worth it to be able to sit in on the highest stakes poker game in the Village. I've been wanting in on the Kage Shuffle for years." Naruto couldn't help but chuckle as he waved the man through.

"Heads up, Jozun. Nii-chan is coming too." Jozun grunted.

"Sensei and I have reached an understanding. Plus, I really don't want to mess tonight up." the tall Jounin rubbed his hands together and smiled almost lecherously. "Poker with the Hokage... wonder if my luck'll hold..." he left through the door to the Poker Parlor to find a seat. Itachi immediately walked in the front door, smiled slightly at Naruto, and continued to his seat. Naruto waited a moment longer, then closed the door, seeing no-one else approaching.

 _Damn, Jiji was hoping the Hebi Clan head, Danzo, and Shibi would show. They NEVER come to Poker Night._

 _ **You just want to fleece them for everything they've got and then some.**_ Naruto would not dispute Kurama's claim. He turned into the parlor to see everyone seated, leaving three chairs open, and Choji was already putting out the snack trays. Hiruzen and Asuma both quickly descended from upstairs and took their seats. Naruto grinned maliciously as he took the final seat. The Haruno woman looked like she was about to start screaming.

"Naru wasn't born into the Sarutobi Clan, Meubiki. He's not legally, nor can he be the clan heir. He can, however, represent his own birth clan, the Uzumaki," Asuma yawned, cutting off her explosive outburst.

"I don't care so much about that, as about the fact that he's a child." Haruno Meubiki was many things; Mother, widow, councilwoman, and a brutal haggler among them. However, petty was not one of them. She had never, in the few dealings she'd had with Naruto, ever blamed him for the Kyuubi's actions. She had much the same outlook about the blonde as Hiashi did; she disliked him for his pranks. Naruto smirked at the woman.

"Wassa matter? Afraid you'll lose a friendly game of Poker to a teenager?" several snorts of laughter went off around the table.

"Friendly, my ass," muttered Tsume, still sore about the money she'd lost the previous month to Choza.

"Naruto-baka! My mom isn't afraid of losing to you at cards!" { _Cha! She'll wipe your stupid toad wallet dry!_ } **(three guesses).**

"Sakura, I appreciate your opinion, but I will ask you to lower your volume several octaves, as we are indoors," Naruto said coolly. "And before you start yelling at me, let me remind you we are in my house, and I would be well within my rights to throw you out on your ass." Hiruzen and Asuma said nothing. Technically, it was Asuma's house, seeing as he was the Sarutobi clan head, but they wanted Naruto to be able to get his point across. More snorts of laughter. Sakura turned red, but kept her mouth shut as she glared at Naruto. His response was a superior and condescending smirk.

"Let's get the game under way, shall we?" asked the aged Hokage, as he shuffled and dealt out the cards. Hinata chose that moment to walk out, greet everyone, then promptly ignore them and call up the stairs.

"Food's ready!" any questions were cut off by the stampede of teenagers to the kitchen from upstairs. Kiba, Sasuke, Ino, Shino, and Konohamaru rushed past, with Ino lugging Shikamaru, and disappeared into the kitchen/ dining room. The adults blinked stupidly, then looked after the retreating form of the Hyuuga Heiress.

"Was that Shibi's boy?" Inoichi was the first to speak. Naruto nodded as he looked at his hand.

"Yeah, Shino comes around here a lot lately. If you'll excuse me a moment..." the blond got up from his seat and vanished into the kitchen, to return a moment later carrying a bowl. Tsume's stomach growled, indicating she smelled the food from the opposite end of the room.

"That has got to be the best smelling curry I've ever sniffed."

Naruto took a bite of his food with the spoon, not really paying attention to it, while looking at his hand again. He swallowed before answering.

"It's not curry. It's some recipe Hinata-chan found at Leaf Pages while looking for a scroll about Genjutsu. She said it's called Gumbo." Several stomachs growled as the smell permeated the room. But dinner wasn't served for the Poker players until the tenth hand. Naruto refrained from telling them that they could actually get some before it was brought out to them. He wanted to see the tortured expressions.

"Where are your bowls and spoons, Hokage-sama?" Jozun piped up, leaning forward. The others, sans Kakashi, looked at him, scandalized.

"Jozun... we aren't served until the tenth round," Kakashi said in a bored tone. Jozun shrugged.

"What's to stop us from getting it ourselves? I'm not going to sit around and wait for someone to cook, plate and serve me food when I can do it myself."

"Young man, that is exactly what a Clan Head does," Hiashi said blandly as he indicated to the Hokage, the Dealer, that he wanted a card. Jozun snorted and gave the 'stay' motion.

"Whatever. I'm getting some. The bowls and spoons Hiruzen?" he repeated, dropping all sense of formality. He'd always adjusted quickly to a new situation. Hiruzen smiled.

"Bowls are in the cabinet on the right, spoons are in the drawer right below it. Konohamaru can show you." Jozun nodded, rose and exited. He returned a few moments later toting a bowl, and returned to his seat, immediately digging in, while still paying attention to the game, which it quickly became apparent was most likely going to him. He had two kings.

"Alright, everyone is staying, reveal." came the command of the dealer, who had a queen and a nine. Jozun was right, he won the hand. The pile of ryo was pushed toward him, and the next hand began. This time, Naruto immediately won. He threw down his ace and ten with a triumphant 'Yatta!'. The small pot, about a thousand ryo from each person, was pulled to the excited blonde. Asuma and Hiruzen hid their smirks. The men, and women, around them would swear by the end of the night to never come to Poker night again, but they'd be back again next time, hoping to win back their dignity. The next few hands were split, nearly even between the blonde and the Sekazu. Asuma was stunned that anyone had Naruto's luck tied. Only two hands had gone to neither of them, and they both went to Hiashi. By the time the food was brought out, Choza was out of money for the trip, and merely sat back to watch the others tear their hair out.

Tsume was the first to crack under the pressure of Naruto and Jozun's insane luck. That and she was out of money, but wanted a chance to win something back. She stood with a snarl and slammed her hand down on the table.

"I'M PUTTING THE INUZUKA CLAN JUTSU LIBRARY ON THE TABLE!" Hiashi choked on a bit of chicken in his gumbo, Inoichi turned deathly pale, Shikaku sat up straight, wide awake, and Choza spewed some of his tea over Inoichi. But Naruto and Jozun both lit up like Fireworks. After his airway was cleared, with the help of Asuma, Hiashi began sputtering.

"ARE YOU INSANE WOMAN?! YOU'D PUT YOUR CLAN SECRETS AT STAKE OVER A CARD GAME?!" Tsume leveled a heated glare at him.

"You were about to do the same, and you know it." Hiashi grumbled under his breath, but no-one heard a denial.

"Is that allowed?" Jozun asked casually, trying not to bounce in his seat. The Inuzuka Jutsu combined with his Limit Break would be nigh unstoppable. Naruto was thinking something similar, but with his shadow clones. Hiruzen nodded sagely and took a pull from his pipe.

"Technically, we never put rules forbidding it. I just didn't think anyone would do it again after Fugaku lost the Uchiha Library to Asuma several years ago." Cue a loud groan and the sound of palm introducing itself to face. A few of the people present had to snicker at Itachi's reaction to the news.

"I was wondering why he was making copies of every scroll we had..."

"Anyway, let's go!" Jozun practically _radiated_ enthusiasm.

"I'll sit this one out," Itachi said, blowing lightly on his spoonful of hot rice and gumbo.

"Me too," Inoichi said tartly, pushing away his empty bowl. Everyone else was quickly dealt, and the oddest thing to happen in the history of Poker... happened.

"BLACKJACK!" came two simultaneous cries of triumph. Both Jozun and Naruto had been dealt a Face and an Ace. Tsume paled and nearly squiggled out of her seat in a puddle. Shikaku, who had been gaping stupidly at both winning hands, tried reattaching his jaw.

"Wow... Kaa-san has to make two copies of every scroll? Man that sucks, especially considering I'll probably have to help her," came the impressed drawl of Kiba. The adults all looked up to notice that their children had joined them in the Parlor, with the six-year-old Konohamaru having climbed up into Hiruzen's lap.

"Why is Oji-san playing as Sarutobi head anyway? Wouldn't Jiji be Clan Head?" Sasuke asked, cocking his head slightly. And Sakura, who until that point had been sitting quietly, watching everything at the table (not having seen him in the stampede earlier) jumped up and latched onto his arm with hearts for eyes.

"Sasuke-kun!" no matter how the younger Uchiha tried prying his arm out of the vice grip, the latch just got tighter and tighter. After several frantic eye exchanges with Naruto, and a quick flurry of _**Kawarimi**_ , Naruto sat back in his spot, Sasuke was next to him, and Sakura was obliviously hugging Ino's arm hard enough to cut off circulation.

"Forehead, let go of my arm! Agh! It's turning blue! Daddy help!" Sakura snapped her eyes open and quickly released the blonde, looking around frantically for Sasuke. She saw him looking over Naruto's shoulder at his next hand of cards, which had been whittled down to Jozun, Naruto, Kakashi, and Shikaku.

"So is anyone going to answer my question?" Sasuke asked. No-one detected any trace of a demand or the arrogance they had expected.

"The Shodai made a law that the acting Hokage can't be a Clan Head, because it would give them two separate votes in Council meetings," Naruto yawned. "as expected, the Nindaime was more than happy with this, because he was Clan Heir for the Senju at the time, because Hashirama had no children at that point." Sasuke just grunted in understanding as the game continued. He also evaded every other attempt Sakura made at getting near him. By staying close to Naruto. Who Sakura was scared of for some odd reason. Eventually, after three more hands, the players had dwindled to just the blonde and the sickly man. They eyed each other critically.

"What say we call it a night before we end up bankrupting the whole village?" Jozun finally proposed. Naruto nodded acceptance, and the entire room, sans one clueless six-year-old, exhaled a collective breath of relief. Which was quickly sucked back in through their asses when the two turned to Tsume with malicious, sadistic smirks.

"Oh crap..."

 **A/N: AND THAT'S THE END OF IT! I thank you all *bows* now, since I had the interview at the beginning, time for reviews!**

 **Kisa: They all knew Duckbutt wouldn't be happy when he found out about the Genin team, and, contrary to popular belief, Itachi IS an Uchiha. The 'Hn' was an exhibition of that. But Asuma and Naruto, who had been dealing with Sasuke for longer, and knew his new personality better, knew he would get violent. That's where that came from.**

 **xXAliceBlackXx: Glad you're enjoying it *eyesmiles like Kakashi***

 **darkemperor1: Three in a row, eh? I had another person do that a few chappies ago... anyway, glad you like it!**

 **lokithehotty: Yeah, I didn't want to go through the whole process though, hence the time skip... ehehe**

 **FleurSuoh: Then keep with it! :3**

 **Okay, yes, I just did ALL the reviews since my last chapter was posted, but seeing as there weren't that many, I thought 'what the hell.' Anywhosamawhatser, news from my life!**

 **I recently got Wifi FINALLY installed into my house (recently as in the day I'm posting this recently), so that won't really be an issue. But, the downside is this chapter took my forever to write 'cause I got injured at work and didn't have full use of my left hand for about two weeks. Typing one-handed, and with my left ring and pinky fingers. Not fun. But, I'm okay now, with only mild scarring on my index finger, so don't worry! The rest got off lucky... that's about it really. Make sure to look for an Omake next chapter! Oh, and about next chapter... nah, I'll leave it a surprise.**

 **Ja Ne!**


	18. Chapter 18: The Plot! A New Perspective!

**A/N: Okay, as I learned it, from someone who actually plays Shogi, it's literally chess, just with different looking pieces. Truth be told, I might be wrong on this one, but that's how it was explained to me. And Blackjack, or 21 as some people call it, is a form of Poker. Poker is not one particular game, it's a general term for any card game that can be manipulated, as in a casino, so that the house, or dealer, has an edge. Heads up though, this chapter is in first person view, instead of third like usual for this particular story.**

 **Chapter 18: The Plot! A New Perspective!**

I was walking through the streets, heading to the tower, and I could feel the glares and hear the whispers.

"They let _it_ become a Genin? Are they insane? They can't possibly think that's a good idea!" I turned a blank, emotionless eye to the person who had just spoken. The words cut deep, but I had learned long ago to not let anyone know how affected I was by their hateful words and total exclusion of me from their society.

"You're bothering me," I said casually, and flicked my wrist at the offender. The man screamed as my sand wrapped around his leg and crushed it, mangling it beyond recognition as a limb.

"Next time, I won't be so generous. Consider yourself lucky I must see the Kazekage immediately, or I would kill you." Father wanted to see me as soon as I was released from the academy with my headband. Most likely to tell me who my teammates will be. I suspected it it would be my older siblings, Kankuro and Temari, considering they are the only two people I would hesitate to kill immediately.

"Gaara!" I stopped and slowly turned towards the voice, to see a tall, blond kunoichi in a battle kimono with a large fan and her hair in symmetrical quad pigtails. I stood still a moment, my arms crossed over my chest and my older sister caught up to me. I gave a slight nod of my head in greeting.

"Temari."

"I heard you passed," she noticed my Hiate-ate on the shoulder strap of my Gourd mount and smiled slightly. Temari was the only person in all of Suna who made some small effort to be nice to me and actually interact with me beyond fear or anger. Thus, despite past experience with my Uncle Yashumaru, I opened up to her somewhat. She had some inkling of my torture, of how isolated I was, and how much that hurt me.

"Yes, I was on my way to see the Kazekage. I suspect you were as well, and I have a feeling Kankuro is waiting for us."

"Nothing gets past you, Otouto. Kazekage-sama has decided we will be a team, hence why Kankuro and I were both held back from the Chuunin Exams. But as for this meeting... I have no idea."

"Then let us not keep him waiting, and find out what it is," I drawled. Temari nodded and we walked on without another word. When we finally reached the Kazekage Tower, placed dead center of Sunagakure, my brother Kankuro, a semi-tall teenager who always wore a black full-body suit and a black cap that gave him cat ears, and carried his puppet Crow on his back, mummified in bindings, was leaning against the wall outside, picking at his fingernails with a kunai knife.

"Kankuro," I said hesitantly, hoping for a better reaction than the last time we saw each other. I was sorely disappointed, because he snapped his head up to look at me, his eyes wide and fearful, and his skin white as a sheet.

"G-gaara... hey..." I sighed to myself and continued past, into the reception area. I'd, probably, give up my teddy, which I totally did not have stashed under the bed I never slept in in a floor-mounted safe, just for my brother to treat me as a sibling instead of a monster. Or I might just try buying him a puppet. That might work.

We entered the Kazekage's office, and I was immediately on guard. A man I had never met was sitting across from my diminutive father, one leg over the knee of the other. He chuckled evilly as he noticed me tensing.

"Kukukukuku, hello Gaara-kun."

"Who are you and what do you want?" I monotoned. The Kazekage coughed into his hand. I turned to him with a mild glare.

"Gaara, this is Orochimaru," my eyes widened fractionally, and I heard my siblings gasp. "He has proposed a plan that we would be very... _unwise_ to decline."

"Yes, I just enlisted your Village's help in attacking Konoha during the Chuunin Exams in four months. And you, Gaara, will be the greatest weapon."

"No." my siblings stiffened in fear, my Father glared at me, but Orochimaru merely looked curious.

"I refuse to help you attack one of our allies. Kill me or arrest me for insubordination, but I will not help you."

The snake of trees looked at me appraisingly, then rose and exited without a word. One he was gone the three other room occupants, plus the hidden Suna ANBU, all released a collective breath I didn't realize they were holding.

"Gaara, are you insane?" I leveled my emotionless gaze at the Kazekage, who flinched when he realized the question.

"He could have killed all of us."

"And how do you think Konoha would act if we did betray them? Do you really belive, even with the Oto Shinobi force he likely promised," the Kazekage's eyebrows shot up and I knew I was right. "That we can defeat Konoha? They're hailed as the strongest of the Five Great Shinobi Nations for a reason. Even at their weakest, they held off several incursions by Kumo and Iwa ANBU. You know as well as I do, even if we caught them by surprise, they'd soon recover and hit back thrice as hard."

"So we were cannon fodder..." Temari said slowly.

"We were _meant_ to be cannon fodder," the Kazekage said with a sigh as he massaged his temples. "It seems we all owe our dignity to your brother. And maybe our lives." Temari gave me a small smile, but Kankuro looked at me in a slightly new light.

"You should probably warn the Hokage that an attack is imminent, likely sooner than we know because of my refusal. He would appreciate it." I rose and exited, but couldn't help hitting my father one last time, so threw over my shoulder. "He might even tell the Wind Diamyo to send us more of his mission requests." I could _feel_ his gobsmacked expression, and it almost made me smile. Almost.

Not long after I left the Tower, Temari and Kankuro caught up to me.

"What brought all this on?" Temari questioned cautiously. I reached into my shirt, causing Kankuro to flinch, and pulled out the most recent of a series of letters I received once a month, ever since I was five. I handed it to her, and saw Kankuro reading over her shoulder out of the corner of my eye. I had the letter memorized by now anyway.

 _Gaara,_

 _Thanks for the Suna-Serve recipe! I've never tried it before, even when I came over there and we met! Yeah, I'm_ _ **officially**_ _rejoining the Shinobi forces this month, but that, unfortunately, means being a Genin again, and that comes with a slew of D-Ranks. I can't wait for the mission where we have to chase Tora! My teammates are going to be so pissed when I catch her in three seconds after three hours of their fumbling attempts! Little hint for when you have to chase your Daimyo's Wife's cat; Don't. Work on what I taught you with it._

 _Anyway, I sent you, on a little flashcard, the recipe for Konoha's most famous dish! It took me hours and a lot of pleading, but Old Man Ichiraku finally coughed it up when he learned one of my friends had never had Ramen before. So enjoy! It's definitely worth it!_

 _When you come to Konoha for the Chuunin exams, we'll get a few bowls, and I'll introduce you and your siblings to Icecream. Then, you'll know pain. (_ _ **there's a little cackling fox head drawn here**_ _)_

 _I look forward to seeing you again, Gaara! Try not to kill anyone who doesn't deserve it! Ja Ne!_

 _Sincerely,_

 _Uzumaki Naruto_

Naruto always kept his letters short. I didn't mind, at least he wrote them.

"What did he teach you?" Temari asked curiously.

"When did you get a friend?" Kankuro asked, only to be smacked by Temari. "OW! What? It's a valid question!"

"Naruto and I met when we were five, when he came over on a diplomatic mission with his grandfather, the Hokage. He noticed how I was treated, and decided to put a stop to it while he could. So, he introduced himself, got permission to walk around with me, and we spent three days talking."

Kankuro's jaw hit the ground, and considering by now we had made it to our house, I let loose a little. I chuckled at the sight. Which made his eyes bug out. Which made me actually laugh. He fell over like he was having a heart attack.

"So... what did he teach you?" Temari asked again. I just smirked.

"You'll see when we get the mission."

Temari just grumbled and stormed off to her room, after returning my letter. I looked at Kankuro, who was unconscious, and walked away to my own room to read.

My family was weird.

 **Yep! Gaara just stopped the Konoha Crush! Or did he? But yeah, this was my head-cannon for everyone's favorite redhead; a shy boy who was just like Naruto, only a bit colder than the blonde. And we all know why.**

 **On another note, everything I post is completely Un-BETA'd. I'm not exactly looking for one, but I will consider anyone who requests to be my BETA.**

 **Ja Ne!**


	19. Chapter 19: Graduation Exam!

**Hybrid: Hey guys, sorry I forgot the Omake last chapter! Ehehe... I'll put in this one!**

 **Gaara: Hello**

 **Hybrid: Oh hey, Gaara! What brings you here?**

 **Gaara: I just wanted to thank you for not making me seem like a complete sociopathic, murderous, criminally insane nut case.**

 **Hybrid: eh, don't worry about it *flaps hand nonchalantly* You were always my favorite Naruto character period, so I felt you deserved some kindness! Plus, it was a result of the changes from Canon. Also, I'll be taking the poll down after I post this chapter! I know it's a bit early, but another shall take it's place, and this time everyone gets TWO votes! But trust me, this one I can almost guarantee will have A LOT more votes. *Eyebrows and hair curl like the cartoon grinch while I give an absolutely evil smile***

 **Chapter 19: Graduation Exam! Team Seven or Team Twelve?!**

"Good luck today, I hope you all pass," Iruka said as he began passing out the written exam for the Konoha graduation test. At the front, Mizuki was sitting idly, picking at his fingernail, plotting for the night.

 _I can guarantee the Demon doesn't pass. It's a fucking idiot. So, when it fails, I'll give it the 'Make-up Exam' and kill it in the woods._

Naruto, meanwhile, was keeping an attentive eye on the teal-haired Chuunin.

 _He's plotting something._

 _ **Well no shit.**_

 _A tail of Chakra says he'll try to get me to steal something important._

 _ **Kit, do you really think I'm stupid enough to take that bet?**_

 _It was worth a shot._ The conversation between the two most powerful beings in the building, possibly the village, happened while Naruto's body went on auto-pilot and filled in the answers without thinking.

Twenty minutes later, everyone had turned in their tests, and Iruka began grading them while Mizuki took the class out for the weapons and Taijutsu portion.

"You have to either last three minutes, or land three solid blows to pass in Taijutsu, and I'm your opponent" Mizuki explained, then began calling students randomly.

"Uchiha Sasuke," the fangirls still present in the class began swooning and cheering as Sasuke stepped up onto the Taijutsu mat. He slid into the Uchiha main family stance- the Sharinken. The Copy Fist was similar to the standard Uchiha Interceptor Fist, except it also utilised the Sharingan to instantly copy and use a few moves from the foe's Taijutsu, so it combined counter-strikes and evasion with whatever his foe was fighting with. Too bad the Sharingan hadn't yet awakened.

In a sudden blur of impressive speed, for a Genin hopeful, he shot forward and threw three consecutive punches in rapid succession. The first smacked dead-center of Mizuki's chest, accidentally hitting his Solar Plexus. Mizuki fell over as his lungs stopped working, trying to heave in air. Sasuke blinked in confusion as Hinata and Naruto ran up to check on him. Hinata hit some Tenketsu around his lungs, and Naruto buried his fist into Mizuki's Solar Plexus on purpose, giving his Diaphragm a jolt to begin working again.

With a gasp, the Chuunin Academy assistant gulped massive amounts of air and stayed where he was for a few moments.

 _ **Not the best solution to that problem, Kit. You could have killed him.**_

 _Eh, I didn't have time for the gentle solution._

 _**On the subject of time and solutions... I've been poking around in your DNA again**._ Naruto growled to himself.

 _Last time you did that, I was blind for a week, and my hair turned pink. PINK!_

 _**I fixed it! Anyway, this time I was only looking! But I found something very interesting.**_

 _What is it?_ Came the resigned response.

 _ **You have three potential Kekkei Genkai.**_

 _…... come again?_

 _ **You. Have. Three. Bloodline. Limits.**_ At this point, Naruto did a good impression of a fish on a fire, namely staring blankly at nothing with his mouth and eyes wide open.

 _You're shitting me._

 _ **Nope. The catch is that I can only unlock two. The third will be forever blocked. First is actually directly from Kushina. Her Adamantine Sealing Chains. I loathe them, but they are useful; they are resistant to three Chakra natures, they can form blades, barriers, seals, and many other things. They also can't be burned by the Ameterasu flames of the Mangekyo Sharingan. Plus, the shape manipulation can be so helpful in... other settings.**_ The Kyuubi here gave a lecherous cackle while Naruto almost face-faulted.

 **At the Konoha Hot Springs**

Jiraiya had he sudden urge to cackle lecherously, and it had nothing to do with the women he was peeping on. He felt like he should run to the Academy immediately and shake his godson vigorously, shouting something along the lines of 'DO IT! DO IT NOW! TAKE THE FUCKING DEAL!'

 **Back at the Academy**

 _Stupid ero-fox..._ Naruto muttered mentally.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto looked up to see Mizuki looking at him with doubtful eyes.

When the blonde got up onto the Taijutsu mat on a raised dais, he took the Uzumaki Taijutsu stance; the Uzuken.

In stark contrast to the Hiken, a round-robin taijutsu taught to Konoha Academy students until they found a more appropriate style, the Uzuken was a semi-advanced style that was taught back when Uzushiogakure still existed in their Academy, and focused on quick strikes and total evasion.

"We didn't teach you that stance."

"You never said I had to use the Hiken. Plus, Sasuke used the Sharinken, and Hinata used the Jyuuken, so deduct points from me, you gotta do it to them too." Several shouts of outrage came from most of the class' female populace.

"I was merely making an observation. I was just wondering where you learned it," Mizuki replied calmly. Naruto smirked playfully.

"I'd tell you, but where would the fun in that be?" Naruto lashed out with a quick series of jabs, which Mizuki blocked, before retaliating with several kicks and punches of his own. The two exchanged blows and banter, Mizuki actually finding that he enjoyed the blonde's wit, and enjoyed sparring with him.

"Should you be fighting so soon? You almost died," Naruto said conversationally after landing his second blow in the match, a sweep kick to Mizuki's shin.

The blue-haired Chuunin shrugged. "I'll live. I ever tell you about the time I was considered legally dead for seven minutes?"

"No lasting brain damage?"

"Never said that. I lost several IQ points, and my short-term memory sometimes gets wonky." just as the timer was about to ring, Naruto ducked under Mizuki's snap-kick and, with a roar, planted both his fists into the man's midsection, bending over at the waist sideways, and launched Mizuki out of the ring, off the dais, and onto the ground. He rolled for a few feet, then flattened out with a wheeze.

The class turned at Iruka's laughing fit from the scene. Once he calmed down and everyone walked over to the Weapons Range, Iruka began to explain the passing grade for thrown weapons.

"You need at least five out of ten successful hits and a minimum two bulls-eyes, or fatal hits, with both shuriken and kunai. Senbon are optional, but extra credit. We'll be going alphabetically. Aburame Shino..."

 _Anyway, what was the second one?_

 _ **Kami, I thought you'd never get to get back to this discussion! Anyway, the second one is, surprisingly, the Shikotsumyaku.**_

 _… Come again?_

 _ **You said that earlier. But yes, you could have the Dead Bone Pulse. The applications are limitless, Kit. You can make swords, axes, bows, kunai, senbon, whips, the list goes on! All from your bones themselves!**_

 _Doesn't the Shikotsumyaku come with some form of debilitating death sentence though?_

 _ **Funny story, actually. Of the hundred or so Kaguya I've witnessed that have unlocked this Kekkei Genkai, no two have died of the same disease. But you won't be affected anyway!**_ Naruto frowned in confusion.

 _ **Your Uzumaki healing factor, combined with the one I give you, and your weird natural immunity to disease (seriously I'm thinking you're the culmination of like twenty different fucking clans, Kit) cancels out any chance of you dying from that curse.**_

 _So, basically, I could be the ultimate assassin or front-line fighter?_

 _ **Exactly.**_

"Naruto, you're up," Iruka called, snapping Naruto out of his inner dialogue. He stepped up absently and grabbed the ten kunai presented to him. Then he whispered to Iruka.

"How many did Sasuke get?"

"Shuriken, eight bulls-eyes, Kunai, ten, and he tried senbon but only managed four successful hits." the blond dynamo cast an amused glance at his Uchiha friend, who immediately curled up under a nearby tree, thunderclouds and gloom hanging over him.

"I wanted to see if I could do it..."

"HURRY UP BAKA! STOP MAKING FUN OF SASUKE-KUN WHEN YOU CAN'T DO NEARLY AS GOOD AS HE CAN! Right sasuke-kun?" the whole class had to sweat drop at how the girl went from screaming elephant to sickly sweet in a flat millisecond. Then Iruka, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Choji had to hold back their laughter at Sakura's assumption that Naruto was actually worse than anyone in the class. The blonde looked at the pink-haired girl a moment, before grinning.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei. Can I get someone to stand in front of the target dummy? I like a challenge." Iruka gulped quietly.

"If... if anyone is willing to volunteer..."

"What do you say, Sakura? Since I'm so bad, I'll miss you by a mile, right? You'll be totally safe." Now, Naruto's friends saw the brilliance in his plan. Sakura paled immensely, before casting a look at Sasuke, who looked back at her with an emotionless gaze. She seemed to steel her resolve and strode to the center of the range, halfway between Naruto and the dummy, and stood there with her arms crossed, glowering at the blonde, who was grinning maniacally.

"Little further back." Sakura took five steps backwards. "Perfect!" then he chucked the first two Kunai simutaneously, both zipping past Sakura's neck, clipping a few strands of her hair, and embedded themselves into the neck of the dummy, right where both directions of the Jugular Vein would be on a person. He picked up four this time and slung one from his right hand, then spun and slung the other three from his left in a over-the-shoulder hurl.

Three _swish_ es later, and Saukra was totally untouched, but the kunai had lodged themselves into spots on each limb that could be considered fatal, just from how quickly the blood would spill from the wound. Naruto smirked as he felt, rather than saw, the class' jaws hit the dirt, and Sakura began to realize her mistake. She turned paler than before.

Naruto grabbed the last four kunai and threw the first two, then chucked the next two after them, causing them to clash in midair, right next to Sakura, and redirect themselves into the dummy behind her in four separate places; the middle of the forehead area, over the heart, in the groin, and where the left lung would be. Iruka made a mark on his clipboard with a grin, then handed Naruto the shuriken.

All ten metal stars flew from calloused hands simultaneously, literally _curving_ in mid-air around the terrified girl and burying themselves deeply into the dummy, right next to every kunai.

"Oi, sensei, pass me the senbon." Iruka, never having seen the Jinchuuriki's skill with the acupuncture needles, handed them over with trepidation. Naruto threw them in a continuous stream, one right after the other, and they grazed Sakura's skin ever so lightly to bury themselves into nerve center spots on the dummy. Sakura turned around to look at the senbon.

"You didn't make a single fatal hit with the needles Naruto-baka!"

"Actually," Iruka had to hide his Cheshire grin. "He did something harder by far. He hit where the needles would shut down the nerves and make it so his opponent would be unable to move, allowing for disposal at Naruto's pleasure. Congratulations, Naruto, you pass weapons."

"Eh, it's not like this crap actually affects my standing anyway." just as he said that, a Jounin _**shunshin**_ 'ed onto the field, grinning at Naruto and smoking a cigarette. The whole class recognized him.

"Naruto, you forgot your Tanto at home," he said, holding out said short blade. Naruto grumbled under his breath.

"Tou-chan, I bought Katanas yesterday remember? I was planning on strapping _them_ on for when I get my headband. They work better anyway." Asuma looked thoughtful for a moment, then snubbed his cancer stick and tossed the short blade to the blonde anyway.

"Never hurts to have backup." then he left the same way he appeared. Naruto sighed and slung the Tanto over his shoulder, angling it so the handle stuck out over his left shoulder. He ignored the odd looks from everyone in the class, sans Sasuke. He turned on his heel, and walked calmly inside, the class following slowly.

When everyone else got into the room, they found him strapping two separate katanas to his belt, and a second Tanto to angle over his right shoulder.

"Where's those come from?" asked one of the civilian born girls, Ami. AKA the biggest bitch in the class.

"I've had them under my desk all day, waiting for this point. Tou-chan just forced me to use the Tanto as well." everyone took a look at Naruto's new look. A few almost crapped themselves.

Instead of his usual shorts and hoodie, he now wore _civilian_ pants, which were considered impractical for Shinobi because they were so loose, which were a faded blue, with a few tears and holes. Heavy black shinobi boots encased his feet. His belt, which now held a katana on either side, was solid grey and had the Uzumaki spiral for a buckle. And finally, he wore a dark orange sleeveless hoodie that was zipped half-way up, revealing a black t-shirt underneath, and the sleeves of said shirt ran down to mid-bicep. Combined with the two Tanto poking over his shoulders, and his unruly blonde hair poking out everywhere while the hood was down, and the new Naruto cut an imposing figure. ( **A/N: if someone could draw this for me so I can use it as the cover art for this story, that's be awesome.** )

"What say we jump right into the Ninjutsu portion? I don't like waiting." no-one said anything as Iruka began calling students to do the three academy basics, and up to two extra credit jutsu. Finally, Naruto was called.

"Sensei, Jiji told me the _**Bunshin**_ doesn't actually have to be the basic illusionary one. I literally can't do it anyway. So... _**Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!**_ " with that, three solid copies of the blonde appeared, all leaning on a separate friend. Shikamaru grumbled, Choji laughed, and Kiba gaped.

"Very good! Now, _**Kawarimi**_." Naruto, with no hand signs, was suddenly replaced by Sakura, who had taken his spot right next to Sasuke. The blonde had his feet kicked up on the desk with his hands behind his head, grinning, while Sakura, who was not used to sudden substitution and had a moment ago been sitting, fell onto her ass. She growled and glared daggers at the whiskered teen, who ignored her.

"Dare I ask... _**Henge?**_ " Naruto's grin widened and in a small poof of smoke, he was replaced by another Sakura, who turned to Sasuke with puppy eyes, much to the Uchiha's horror.

"Sasuke-kun, please don't ignore me! We've got to fall in live and remake the Uchiha!" Naruto said in perfect imitation of the pink-haired girl, before dropping the disguise and laughing heartily.

"Don't... ever do that again," Sasuke shivered. ( **A/N: Seriously though, I'm not bashing her, Naruto is just having fun at her expense** ) Sakura glared more, but said nothing.

"I think I pass!" Iruka tossed him a Hiate-ate, which he tied around his neck just like Hinata.

"Now, Hokage-sama was fairly sure of who would pass, so he made up the team lists early. I'll read them off now, and you'll meet your Sensei's in about an hour." it wasn't even one in the afternoon yet. Naruto zoned out teams one through five.

"Team Six, is Sekazu Ami, Taru Hayate, and Hebi Sai." ( **I couldn't think of non-stupid sounding names, sue me** ) "You're sensei will be Gekko Hayate." Hayate perked up that he shared a name with their Sensei, but Ami groaned in obvious disappontment.

"Why couldn't Jozun-Oji be our Sensei?! He has to teach me about the Limit Break!"

 _Ami always was a temperamental and demanding bitch, wasn't she?_

 _ **Yes, she was and is. I'm surprised you haven't killed her yet.**_

 _Eh, I hold enough respect for Jozun to put up with his cousin._ The most level headed member of team six piped up; Hebi Sai. He was almost an exact replica of Orochimaru, the only differences being that his hair was chocolaty brown instead of black, and he had no purple markings around his eyes.

"Isn't he your clan head? I seriously doubt he has time to be a Jounin-sensei." Oh sweet, beautiful irony, you are one cold bitch.

"Team Seven," continued Iruka. "Will be Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura," a triumphant cry and a loud groan followed by a loud _thump_ as Sasuke slammed his face into the desk followed this reading. "And Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto." the exact same reaction followed, except this time it was Sasuke crying in triumph, and Sakura groaning. "Your Sensei will be Hatake Kakashi." Now, both males groaned quite loudly and introduced their faces to their shared desk violently.

"Team Eight will be Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, and Inuzuka Kiba. Your sensei will be Yuuhi Kurenai." the three members of team Eight were already sitting close together, and they smiled at each other a bit.

"Team Ten is Akimichi Choji, Yamanaka Ino,"

"And me, I'm guessing. How troublesome." Iruka scowled at the lazy Nara for a moment while most of the class snickered.

"Under Sarutobi Asuma." Naruto's eye twitched mechanically.

"Hey Hebi, what was that about a Clan Head not having time to be a Jounin Sensei?" he got no response.

"Sensei, what about Team Nine?" asked Ino out of curiousity.

"Oh, Team Nine is still in rotation from last year," Iruka said with a smile. "As is Team Eleven. However, Team Twelve..." Iruka drifted off as he frowned in confusion at the paper in front of him.

"Sensei?" Sakura said cautiously.

"Ummm... Team Twelve will be Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Uzumaki Naruto under Sekazu Jozun..." three different reactions ensued. Most of the class felt their jaws drop, but Sasuke and Naruto were the most affected, both simultaneously grabbing their heads in confusion. The third reaction came from both Sakura and Ami at once.

"WHAT?!" they screeched in perfect synch.

"How can we have two sensei's?!"

"WHY THE HELL DO THEY GET JOZUN-OJI AS A SENSEI?!"

 _ **Kit, is now a bad time to tell you the third Kekkei Genkai?**_ Kurama asked, mirth evident in his voice.

 _Yes._

 _ **Too bad. I'm going to tell you now.**_

 _No, you aren't._

 _ **It's the Rinnegan.**_

 **Omake- The Uchiha Bet**

Sasuke and Itachi were sitting on top of the Yondaime Hokage's head on the Hokage Monument, waiting for Naruto so they could do something together.

"This is boring... Ne, wanna make a bet?" Sasuke suddenly asked. Itachi cracked one eye at his little brother. He'd been meditating.

"What sort of bet?"

"A bet on the excuse Naruto gives us."

"What is the prize?"

"Loser has to pay for Naruto's next three Ramen trips." Itachi thought for a moment, before grinning and nodding. "I'm gonna say... he says he was playing with Konohamaru."

"I'll say he was bugging Hokage-sama or Asuma-Oji for advice on something. But what if neither of us is correct?"

"Whoever is closer wins." just then, Naruto appeared with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry, guys, I had to track down Kona and his friends after their play-date and return them home." Sasuke began cackling.

"Well, shit."


	20. Chapter 20: Introductions

**A/N: AND THE WINNER OF THE FIRST POLL, WITH 16 OF A TOTAL 70 VOTES IS! FEM-HAKU! Initially, Anko had the prize, but right around chapter twelve, Haku overtook and has soundly kept the lead. How do you feel about this Haku?**

 **Haku:... I... I suppose it could be worse.**

 **Anyway, as you guys should have noticed by now, a new line of speech is literally a new line.**

 **Ex: "One person speaking," actions of person or another in the area. "Same person speaking"**

 **"New person speaking"**

 **So during the Omake, Sasuke was the one who mentioned Konohamaru. Itachi lost the bet. Next interview!**

 **Hybrid: Hey, everyone! Let's welcome to the show darkhuntressxir! Welcome aboard huntress!**

 **Huntress: Thanks for having me! *trips* HEY WHO TRIPPED ME?!**

 **Konohamaru: THAT'S MY LINE!**

 **Hybrid: Anyway... *helps in seat* first question is obviously, what caused you to open my story? Like... what drew you in?**

 **Huntress: Sorry Konohamaru... but yeah, at first I was just looking for something to read, and then I stumble upon your story. I thought it was just like every other ANBU Naruto story... but I give it a try and guess what? I'm stuck on this story! It's kinda different, since Naruto has a family and Sasuke's not so much of a jerk! Thanks for making this awesome story!**

 **Hybrid: So you found a refreshing spin to it? Nice to know I'm doing SOMETHING right... Now! Where do you hope to see the story go? What do you want to happen?**

 **Konohamaru: Do I get the Rasengan in this story?!**

 **Hybrid: No.**

 **Konohamaru: Awww...**

 **huntress: *pats Konohamaru* I'm actually fine with whatever is going to happen, as long as there isn't too much gore. I just want to see Sakura get serious about being a Kunoichi faster than in Canon.**

 **Hybrid: Well... it is rated M. And there's the whole _HIDAN_ factor eventually. So, sorry, but there will be scenes of heavy gore. Anywho, the last question we have time for! How do you feel about the fact that Fem! Haku won the poll? And who did you vote for?**

 **Huntress: Haku wins? YES! OF COURSE HAKU! *Jumping around like a maniac* She is just too pretty not to vote for!**

 **Hybrid: Welp, there's our answer! Looks like that's all the time we have! Thanks for talking with us huntress! We look forward to hearing from you more in the future!**

 **Konohamaru: Bye onee-chan! See you later!**

 **Huntress: Thanks for having me! Bye Konohamaru-kun!**

 **Chapter 20: Introductions and Explanations**

There was mass chaos in the classroom. Most of the class, sans Naruto and Sasuke who were still trying to ward off confusion-induced headaches, were raising hell about why the duo and Sakura got two sensei's, while Ami was rasing hell about the fact that her cousin was one of them and not her sensei. This was the scene Jozun, and surprisingly the Hokage, walked in on. Everyone was huddled around the 'Rookie of the Year' and the 'Dobe' being loud and pestering them.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Jozun shouted, instantly stilling the entire room. Everryone turned mechanically to see the Sekazu clan head glaring at them, all trace of sickness gone. He was purely a Jounin now.

"Sit. Down." he growled. In an instant, every single Genin was in their previous seats, their hands clasped, sitting at rigid attention. Well, every one except Ami.

"Oji! Why aren't you MY sensei?!" Jozun leveled his death glare on the girl. Really, they looked eerily similar aside from gender.

"Ami, I'm saying this one time. The world does not revolve around you. I'm sure Hayate can teach you more than enough. And if you need help with the Limit Break, you can ask your parents. I've got better things to do than teach a spoiled brat who thinks she's the most important person in the clan. Now sit down." Ami turned purple with anger and decided to do something really stupid: she attacked her cousin.

" ** _Limit Break: Comet_**!" she bolted forward, her fist raised as she tried driving it into Jozun's gut. He smirked and raised his palm.

" ** _Limit Break: Fortress_**." the whole class saw his muscles stiffen to impossible levels as Ami's fist impacted his hand. A very loud _crack_ ensued as the girl cried out and cradled her hand to her chest. Jozun bent over her with an evil grin.

"Care to try again? Or are you done embarrassing yourself with your pitiful control over your Kekkei Genkai? And if you attack me again, since you are now officially a Genin," Naruto snorted lowly at this point. "And a member of the Clan I lead, I'd be well within my right to do whatever the hell I want. Now sit down. I won't say it again Ami." the girl grumbled darkly, but returned to her seat.

"Now then, Team Twelve?" Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura raised their hands. Jozun saw the blonde and blinked.

"Naruto? What the hell?" the blonde merely grinned.

"Ano... Sensei?" Sakura said timidly. The Jounin kind of scared her. "We are also apparently Team Seven... and we don't know which Sensei to listen to." Jozun scowled and turned to the Hokage, who had been silent up to this point.

"What's the deal? My team, which you forced me to take against my will, is also Kakashi's?"

"You see Jozun-kun," Jozun growled lowly, but said nothing. "Kakashi is mainly for Sasuke when he awakens his Sharingan. True, he could get help from Itachi, but Itachi is away on mission a lot. You, however are mostly to help Naruto with... a potential ability... and to whip Sakura into shape. She is very smart, true, and has great potential, but she lacks... physical capabilities. That is where you come in. that and I want you to make sure Kakashi doesn't _exclusively_ train Sasuke. You will split the workload between all three evenly."

"Uh... potential ability? What potential ability could Naruto have that would require my help?"

"That is best discussed in a more... private setting," the old man said with a pointed look at the rapt children. Everyone looked to Naruto, who forced a look of confusion onto his face.

 _Dammit Jiji! "_ Don't look at me, guys. I have no clue what Jiji is talking about." Hiruzen had the barest hint of a knowing smirk on his face. At that precise moment, Asuma, a black-haired, red-eyed female Jounin in a bandage dress, and Mitarashi Anko entered, the snake Mistress dragging a silver-haired man who was clawing at the ground, leaving deep gouges.

"No!" cried Kakashi. "I'm not supposed to be here for another three hours! Dammit Anko, let me go!"

"Not happening, Bakakashi. You could at least make an effort to show up on time to pick up your Genin team!"

Jozun coughed into his fist, causing the duo to stop bickering and look at him, and subsequently the Genin who were trying to hold in their laughter. Kakashi quickly stood and acted as though nothing had happened.

"Yo," he said lazily, while giving a slow wave. Asuma sighed and palmed his eyes. Everyone noticed his lack of cigarette, if only because they were so used to him having one.

"Team Ten," the Sarutobi clan head said. "Let's go."

"Hey, Tou-chan, if Shika or Ino tells me you're being lazy in training them, I'm siccing Oba-chan on you." Naruto said lazily. Asuma paled and ushered the Ino-Shika-Cho trio out the door quickly.

Kurenai chuckled a bit. "Team Eight, let's go." Hinata, Shino, and Kiba rose and followed her, Kiba noticeably drooling.

Kakashi said nothing as Gekko Hayate entered, got his team, and left. One by one, the Sensei's entered, got their teams, and left, until only Kakashi, Jozun, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Anko, and Hiruzen were left. Even Iruka had left a while ago.

"...What are you waiting for Kakashi?" Jozun finally asked.

"For you to... wait, why are you here?"

"Hokage-sama forced me into having a Genin team."

"Just like Itachi, and his Sensei before him, and all the way back. Team Twelve has as much of a history as Team Seven," Hiruzen said sagely, taking a pull from his ever-present-but-not-always-lit-pipe.

"Who was Nii-chan's Sensei?" Naruto asked in curiosity.

"Uzumaki Kushina." Naruto's eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

"Jozun, if you have a team, why aren't you with them?" Kakashi asked, changing the subject quickly.

"I am," the Sekazu responded with a flick at the two Genin and the Ex-ANBU. The Silver-haired Jounin frowned.

"That's my team."

"Correction. It's _our_ team. The Hokage here, in his infinite wisdom, decided to take steps to make sure _everyone_ on the team is properly trained. By the way, hi Anko," the man said with a mild blush. Naruto cocked an eyebrow at the action. Jozun never blushed. Anko grinned and winked at the only brown-haired person in the room.

"Hey, yourself." Jozun turned redder, before he quickly turned to the children.

"Come on, all of us are meeting on the roof. See you there Kakashi," then, he disappeared in a **_Shunshin_** , followed quickly by the cyclops, and to Sakura's great surprise, Naruto. Sasuke rose, grumbling, and ran out into the hall, headed for the stairs. She quickly followed.

Anko looked at the aged Hokage, who looked back at her.

"So... you and Jozun, hmm?" Anko just grinned gain and left the building.

 **On the Roof**

"Well, we have about three minutes. So, Naruto, what's this possible ability?" Jozun asked when the three appeared on the roof balcony.

"I actually have three possibilities, but I'm still deciding which two to take." both Jounins cocked an eyebrow. "Kurama said he can unlock two, but the third will be forever sealed. I'm still trying to figure out which two would be best. Bu the one you were chosen for, Jozun, is the **_Shikotsumyaku_**. For obvious reasons, if that's one I choose, you're best suited to helping me with it, because it's so similar to your **_Limit Break._** "

"What are the other two?" Kakashi asked lazily.

"Does it matter at this point?"

"Not really, but I'm curious."

"Curiosity killed the Scarecrow," Jozun commented

"Touche." At that moment, the other two burst out the door, Sakura huffing and puffing. Jozun and Kakashi shared a look, then sighed.

"She really does need work."

"I'll leave that to you. You are better at training the body than even Gai." Jozun just hummed in annoyance.

"Why don't we do some introductions? Since three of us know Kakashi won't tell you anything other than his name," said Jounin just _hmm_ 'd. "I'll go first. My name is Sekazu Jozun. I like Curry, most spicy foods, and my girlfriend. I dislike my clan, but I have to put up with them anyway because I'm clan head. My hobbies? I guess training and messing with my room-mate Kisa. My one dream for the future is to figure out a way to not fucking die of sickness." Naruto and Sasuke nodded, but Sakura looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"My Kekkei Genkai, the **_Limit Break_** allows me to vastly improve my muscles to think and move faster, hit harder, and withstand more damage. But, it comes with a severely weakened immune system, which just gets weaker. Basically, my body is at war with itself."

"Why don't you see a med-nin?" Sakura asked. Jozun looked at her like she was stupid, then cast a questioning glance at Naruto, who shrugged in resignation.

"Gee, why didn't I think of that? Kid, my room-mate _is_ a med-nin. She can _treat_ me, but she can't _cure_ me. At this point, it seems like only Lady Tsunade of the Sannin can do that. On that depressing, fucked up note, Pinky, you're up." both Jounin, plus Naruto, smirked at the nickname. Sakura just glared.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, sensei, not Pinky. My likes are..." here, she cast a side-long glance at Sasuke and blushed. "reading and sushi..." this surprised nearly everyone.

 _I as expecting some kind of fan-girl reaction like looking at him, then giggling._

 ** _Me too._** The young males exchanged a few looks, which to them amounted to an entire dialogue.

 _Were you expecting an actual answer?_ Sasuke asked with his eyes.

 _Hell no. I was expecting her to be unintelligible through the Kami-damed giggles._ Naruto answered.

 _Yeah, me too. Maybe what you said a while ago had some affect?_

 _We can only hope._

"I dislike teriyaki, and for now... Naruto... my hobbies include reading...and uh..." she glanced side-long at Sasuke with a blush again. "and gardening. My dream for the future is... to have a family..."

"Well, at least it's only for now, eh Naruto?" Jozun joked with a playful suggestive wink at the blonde, who scowled.

"She's not my type." the Jounin shrugged while Kakashi _snerked_ a laugh.

"Ducky-do you're next," said the silver-haired man. Now it was Naruto's turn to _snerk_ while Sasuke frowned.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. My likes are Tomatoes, Naruto and his family, my big brother, and training. I dislike fangirls," Sakura here made a choking sound and looked like she'd been hit. "and sweets. My hobbies are training, and hanging out with Naruto. My dreams for the future are to help rebuild the Uchiha clan," Jozun and Kakashi both giggled perversely, causing Sasuke to frown. "and eventually join ANBU, hopefully getting to the Commander's position."

 **ANBU HQ- Dragon's office**

ANBU Commander Dragon prided himself on his ability to say he had complete control of his emotions, and he feared only four things in the world. Death was not one of them. No, they were, in order of least to most feared:

Mitarashi Anko.

Losing his position and being forced into some crappy old retirement home.

The Hokage.

But the one thing he feared above all else? His ex-subordinate: Kage. Shadow had been one of his best operatives, true, but the kid had not been loyal to _Konoha_ , but to his family and friends. That meant if Konoha threatened those he held dear, he'd raze the village, and Dragon wasn't sure anyone could stop him.

As he was working on some paperwork, he felt a mild shiver run through his body.

 _Hmm... seems like someone is gunning for my job. Eh, as long as it's not Uzumaki, I'm sure I'll be fine._

 **Back with Team Seven/ Twelve**

Naruto had to snort, and muttered to Kakashi, "looks like Ryu-sama has some trouble headed his way." the Cyclops just nodded.

"Now for the little ball of sunshiny energy," Jozun said with amusement.

"Shut up, Jozun."

"Baka! Don't talk to our Sensei like that!" Sakura reprimanded.

"Shut up, Pinky. I've known Jozun since before any of us were in the Academy. Kakashi too. Anyway, my name is Uzumaki-Sarutobi-Namikaze Naruto."

"Three last names? Stop lying Baka!" Naruto sighed in exasperation.

"Sakura, if you interrupt me one more time, I'm throwing you off the roof. Uzumaki is my birth mothers' name, Namikaze is my birth fathers', and Sarutobi is my adopted name. As I was saying, I like Ramen, gardening, and my friends and family, especially my cousin Konohamaru. I dislike idiotic people, traitors, and the three minutes it takes Ramen to cook. My hobbies include Training, growing my garden with my Oba-chan, and pranking. My Dream for the future is to have a big family and be the Hokage."

Sakura was the first to pipe up. "What kinds of plants do you have in your garden?"

"Mostly edibles like Strawberries, carrots, cucumbers, that kind of stuff. But, my Oba-chan set aside a plot for me to cultivate flowers and special plants that I wanted."

"Hate to break up the bonding pow-wow," Kakashi drawled.

"No you don't," quipped both Jozun and Naruto simultaneously.

"But we have to tell you that you three,"

"Aren't really Genin yet, I know," Naruto said as he laid back and folded his hands behind his head, closing his eyes and relaxing fractionally. "And knowing Kakashi, he'll say we have our true test tomorrow at Seven A.M. In training ground Seven, and not to eat breakfast 'cause we'll just puke it up. But Jozun wants this shit done today, because he wants to avoid Kisa for the rest of the day, because he forgot his meds, and doesn't want her to strangle him. You two probably also have two different plans to test us. So what say we go with Kakashi's basic time, but at Four in the morning, and you two can take the day to plan what you'll do to test us?" Kakashi and Jozun both grumbled in annoyance.

"Why Four?! Don'y you know I need my beauty sleep?!" Sakura cried. Naruto grunted.

"Bitch, you need to hibernate. I have my reasons."

"Ugh... seems like we have our work cut out for us, eh Kashi?"

"Yep. See you three bright and early at Four, following Naruto's brilliant plan, at training ground Seven. C'mon Jozun, we can plan at my apartment."

"Thank Kami. I really do need to avoid Kisa right now."

"Stop forgetting your meds."

"Oh shut the hell up." with that, the two Jounin left in twin puffs of smoke. Naruto grinned.

 _Time to watch Sakura suffer and get serious._ Kurama just cackled.


	21. Chapter 21: Waiting

**A/N: This Chapter will be mostly filler. The rest of the day leading up to the true Genin test. For all the members of Team Seven-Twelve. Damn, so close to Seven/ Eleven. Gaia I kinda miss those things. Anyway, reviews!**

 **: Bro/ chick, calm your tits. I get that you dislike the Shikotsumyaku, but that doesn't make it the worst K.G. In the Naruto universe. Plus, this is Fanfiction, dude. The whole point is to not be Canon. It's not up to me anyway, it's up to my readers. That's why I put the poll. I could have just done whatever the hell I want, which would probably be something I know everyone would fucking hate. And keep in mind, Kimmimaro was literally dying at the time he fought Lee and Gaara. He went out KNOWING he would not return. His Chakra was weak, his body was decaying, and he wasn't at full strength. CALM THE HELL DOWN. If you don't like what I'm doing, don't read it. I wouldn't care. But I appreciate your views.**

 **Kyuzo3567: I was wondering if anyone would ask that. It's all explained, but Hiruzen only know about the Shikotsumyaku, and possibly the chains.**

 **Chapter 21: Wating**

Naruto left the meeting place and immediately wen to the Hokage Tower. He had to talk to his Jiji. Without any warning, but a very loud bang, he slammed the door to Hiruzen's office open, causing the man to jump.

"You scared me, Naruto."

"We need to talk, Jiji. I only found out that I could have the Shikotsumyaku today, but you apparently knew about it yesterday. What the hell?"

"Straight to the point I see. Sit down," Hiruzen sighed as he activated the privacy and perimiter seals to his office. Naruto sat, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms expectantly. "A few weeks ago, I decided to do some research.."

"Ugh," Naruto groaned in mild disgust.

"Not THAT kind of research!"

 **Konoha Hot Springs**

Jiraiya sneezed loudly, which both alerted the Kunoichi and Civilian women in the baths below to his presence, and sent him off-balance, causing him to fall into the reach of said women.

Needless to say, it did not end well for him.

 **Back with Naruto and Hiruzen**

"Anyway, I did research into Minato-kun's family, out of pure curiosity, because he was always fairly secretive about it. It turns out his... six-times great-grandmother was a Kaguya who, for one reason or another, never unlocked her Kekkei Genkai, and was also banished from the clan. She eventually settled down, and through the generations, the family emigrated slowly to Konoha. That is how you have the gene for the Shikotsumyaku. I assume Kyuubi-sama told you about it?"

"Yeah, he found the potential while nosing about my DNA. It turns out though, that I also have two other potential Kekkei Genkai's. The Adamantine Sealing Chains from Kaa-san, and... the Rinnegan." Hiruzen's mouth fell open in shock.

 **With Sasuke**

After Naruto left, Sasuke decided to find Konohamaru and his friends. He'd promised he'd play Ninja with them. As he rose to set about this task, Sakura sidled up to him, and he sighed.

"So, Sasuke-kun. Whatcha up to?"

"I'm going to find Konohamaru and his friends."

"Naruto's cousin? Why?"

"I promised I'd play Ninja with them."

"A Ninja playing Ninja? That's not very mature Sasuke-kun. Wouldn't you rather go out to eat with me?"

"No. I'd rather keep a promise. And frankly, I don't give a damn if it's mature or not. Konohamaru, Naruto, and I are all like brothers to each other. My family comes first, Sakura." with that, the young Uchiha turned and walked away, leaving a gob-smacked pinkette behind. He left the Academy grounds quickly, and almost immediately saw the Konohamaru Corps. waiting outside the gate. He grinned.

"Waiting for me?" the leader of the trio nodded and grinned.

"Yeah! Naru-nii just walked past, but couldn't stay. So we waited for you! So you wanna start?"

"Sure, why not? Ok, give me the paper shuriken." he was quickly given three. "you three have to a count of fifteen to hide well, 'kay?" the trio nodded vigorously. Sasuke closed his eyes and started counting. He heard scuffles and snickers, then silence.

"Thirteen... fourteen... Fifteen!" he snapped his eyes open and immediately sprinted forward, searching for the children. He found Moegi first, her bright hair being a dead give-away in the green bush she was crouching in. Sasuke smirked and jumped over her, flippng and throwing the first paper shuriken at her back from above. When it hit her, she whined but left the bush.

"No fair!"

"Ninja aren't fair, Moegi-chan. Get used to it," Sasuke retorted as he ruffled her hair, messing up her high pigtails. Sasuke bolted off before she could whine again, searching for Udon and Konohamaru. He found Udon when he sniffled, trying to get rid of the snot drop that was always hanging from his nose. He was actually well hidden behind a trashcan, his dull clothes and hair blending well to the brick behind him.

The next shuriken pegged him in the forehead, with enough force for him to feel it, but not enough to hurt.

"Darn... I was hoping you'd find Kono first."

"Moegi, actually. Nice hiding spot, though." Sasuke bolted off again, searching left and right, until he noticed a section of the fence next to him was sideways. He sweatdropped and sighed. At least the kid had learned to hide his hair and feet, even with the shortened area because he was holding it the wrong way. Sasuke walked up to the 'hidden' Konohamaru and just poked him with the final Shuriken, not even throwing it.

"How'd you find me?! You're skills are almost equal to Naru-nii, Sasu-nii!"

"Kono, you were holding the tarp the wrong way again. You have to hold it with the long side facing out."

"But I can't hold it that way!"

"Then stop using it until you grow a bit," Sasuke said with a smirk as he poked Konohamaru in the forehead like Itachi used to do to him.

Ah, tradition.

 **With Sakura**

Sakura couldn't believe it! Her Sasuke-kun had blown her off for children! To play a kids' game! She was about to start fuming, before what Sasuke had said sunk in.

 _He doesn't like fangirls... and his family comes first... so that means he likes strong girls?_

 _ **{Cha! And he'll never abandon his girl!}**_

A new, although rather small, fire burned in Sakura's eyes as she resolved to get strong enough for Sasuke to notice her. What? She still wanted to be able to play the Damsel in distress if the need arose.

She strolled off to ask her Civilian mother for tips.

Oy vey.

 **With Jozun**

Sekazu Jozun was only afraid of one thing in the world: his room-mate and best friend Shimizu Kisa. Normally the woman was cheery, up-beat, and a general ball of freakin' sunshine. But when she went into 'live at home med-nin' mode, she was downright _scary._ This usually happened when she had to remind, or force, Jozun to take his medication. Which was at least twice a day.

So imagine his delight when he got to spend the day avoiding her.

"I'm not saying the bell test is stupid, Kakashi. I'm saying it needs adjustment for this situation. I have no idea why, but Naruto is part of the team. And we both know he'll see right through it."

"True... but the bell test as-is is literally the only way I know. What did Itachi do for your team?"

"He set us on a scavenger hunt that had parts each of us knew, and parts where we had to compile our knowledge."

"That... might work. Let's see... what if we do that, but with aspects of the bell test?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, in the bell test, there's only two bells. The whole idea is to try to set the Genin at each others' throats in attempt to get a bell."

"I... don't get it."

"The whole point is that you tell them only two of them will graduate: the two who get a bell." Jozun rubbed his chin in thought at Kakashi's explanation.

"Hmm... okay, how about this; you start it out with that, but instead of forcing them into hiding, you give them a riddle that could have various meanings? Specific to each one, but the real answer is only one of them. And the first bell is at that location, along with me to 'guard it'. That way, they have to figure out which place to go, AND work together to get the bell."

"That might work, but we have to set restrictions."

"Such as?"

"Naruto can't use _**Kage Bunshin**_. Otherwise he'd just get the other two locations and send a clone there, scouting. And, he has to not be insanely OP, to give Sakura and Sasuke a chance to help."

"Sounds good... now the second bell?"

"Lead them on a merry chase back to the training ground, where I'll have it all set up." Jozun grinned.

"Sounds like a plan, Kakashi. Now what about this riddle?"

" **SEKAZU JOZUN I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! GET YOUR SKINNY SICK ASS OUT HERE AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING MEDICINE!** " came the _extremely_ terrifying voice of one short, healthy Med-nin who had gotten special permission from the man in question to live in the Sekazu compound with him. Jozun turned as white as a sheet.

"Oh shit..." he left in a puff of smoke, just as Kakashi's front door was blasted off the hinges.

 **With Kakashi**

Kakashi blinked as a woman of average height and build stormed in, an aura of death around her. Now he understood why his fellow Sensei was afraid of her.

"You just missed him," he took a look at the destroyed door and contemplated telling her she'd have to pay for it, but thought better of it. "I'm pretty sure you could ask Anko to help. She's pretty good at catching him, and she has just as much motivation to keep him alive."

The woman went from Shinigami to sunshine in two seconds flat.

"Thanks, Kashi! See ya!" she said merrily as she turned and skipped out the door...frame, to find the Tokubetsu Jounin Snake Mistress. Kakashi sighed.

"Great... now what?"

"MY YOUTHFUL RIVAL! YOUR DOOR IS GONE! I WILL GET A NEW ONE AND FIT IT ON BEFORE THE HOUR IS DONE OR I SHALL CLIMB THE HOKAGE MONUMENT TWO HUNDRED TIMES WITH ONLY MY TEETH!" Kakashi sweatdropped at Gai's antics. At least it got him out of another stupid challenge. He pulled out his little orange book and laid back, getting comfortable on his couch, while giggling perversely and lifting his hand to his masked mouth.

"Oh, Kusi-chan, you dirty, dirty girl..."


	22. Chapter 22: Genin in Full

**A/N: :l Herp Derp Dandelion. Oh and the winners are A) by a massive margin- the Adamantine Sealing Chains. And B) by literally one vote- the Rinnegan!**

 **Chapter 21: Genin in Full**

The sun was rising slowly over the horizon when Naruto, Sasuke, and Jozun walked into training ground Seven, revealing the sight of a twitchy, obviously very hungry, and dead-looking pink-haired teammate.

"You three are late," Sakura said in a quiet voice while her head hung to the side and her eyebrow twitched. "You three are late, and Kakashi-sensei still isn't here." Jozun did his best to smother his smile, while Sasuke let his smirk show. Naruto barked out a laugh.

"Kakashi is always three hours late for everything. I'm betting you also didn't eat breakfast, following his advice? What do you say Jozun? Fifty Ryo?"

"Even if I was that dumb, I know I'd lose." Naruto snapped his fingers in disappointment, just as the silver-haired Jounin appeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Yo," he said lazily. Sakura, to everyone's amazement, remained quiet. Naruto figured out why a moment later, by walking over and poking her side.

"Guys... she fell asleep."

"Her eyes are open," Sasuke pointed out, waving his hand in front of the girls' face to illustrate his point. She did not react.

"Ten Ryo says she stayed up all night for some reason, and got here exactly at four."

"Maa, I'll take that bet." Jozun and Sasuke both looked at Kakashi like he was nuts. Kakashi merely shrugged. "Hey, I could win."

Naruto, true to form, used a quick jutsu to allow him to expand another person's body, which only he knew for some odd reason, and grabbed the edges of Sakura's ear. With a tug, he expanded it to comical proportions, then took a deep breath.

"SAKURA WAKE UP!" he shouted into the depths of the girls ear canal. She awoke with a howl, clutching and clawing at her ear. Then, she shot a deadly glare at the blond, who merely shrugged it off. "Now you know how I felt that first day of school." He then walked away and sat down, obviously deep in thought.

 _ **Kit, have you reached a decision?**_

 _Yes... I need the Chains and the Rinnegan._

 _ **Which first?**_

 _Doesn't matter._ Kurama cackled and tweaked a single strand in Naruto's DNA, setting the blonde's eyes on fire, which caused him to suddenly scream in pain and writhe on the ground, clawing at his eyes. He vaguely sensed Jozun at his side.

 _ **I probably should have warned you it would hurt like hell.**_ Finally, the agony subsided and Naruto lay panting, when he heard Jozun's frantic voice.

"Naruto! What happened?!" the blonde cracked an eye to look at the Jounin.

"Kyuubi is a fucking dick. That's what." after a moment of rest, Naruto rose unsteadily.

 _I'm guessing you unlocked the Rinnegan._

 _ **Duh.**_

 _Why that one first?_

 _ **Not only do I loathe the chains and want them far from me for as long as possible, these sacred eyes hold special meaning to us Bijuu. They are the eyes of our Father. I wish for his Legacy to be more than just some stupid myth. Plus, the chains wouldn't hurt.**_

 __ _You're an asshole._

 _ **Call it my own little prank. Plus, since the unlocking took so much chakra, you actually are at Genin level temporarily, so your team has to actually work.**_ Naruto facefaulted, confusing the group around him. He rose with a grumble.

"Fucking Fox. Okay guys, turns out I'm temporarily disabled. Sasuke, you're lead for now, Sakura... just try to help."

"Maa, why is my cute little Genin unable to perform?" in answer to Kakashi's question, Naruto finally opened his eyes fully. Sasuke made a strangled noise, Kakashi's visible ye widened, and Jozun went deathly pale and his mouth fell open. Sakura looked confusedly at Naruto's eys, which were now purple and ringed instead of their usual deep cerulean. It was obvious she didn't know the significance.

"Sasuke, close your mouth. Sensei's might want to start the test now. But first!" he pointed suddenly at Sakura. "What time did you go to bed last night?" Sakura frowned.

"I... I didn't. If I had I wouldn't have gotten here on time. I stayed up, then got here axactly at four, like you all said to." Naruto grinned and held his hand out to Kakashi, who groaned and slumped over, clouds over his head.

"Pay up." Kakashi groaned again and rustled out Ten Ryo to Naruto, who pocketed the money. "Now! What have you two got planned?"

"You don't seem to understand the depth of your new eyes," Jozun said with a strangled sounding voice.

"Yeah I do, I just don't see a point in focusing on it. We have shit to do." Jozun ogled a bit longer, then shrugged and left in a puff of smoke. Kakashi sighed and palmed his covered eye.

"Okay, fine. I've got a riddle for you guys. 'In this place where the greatest joy rests, you'll find the first of several tests, always follow the strongest line, and never let anger divide.' Good luck!" then Kakashi, too disappeared into smoke, leaving the three teens to ponder. Sasuke was still trying to find his voice, however.

"Sasuke, close your mouth or you'll eat a fly. Now let's try to solve this riddle..." Naruto said blandly, crouching down and writing the riddle in the dirt.

"Well, obviously the first line is our favorite place," Sakura said. Naruto nodded, but frowned.

"Yes, but which one of us? Jozun doesn't have enough Chakra for the _**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**_ , and Kakashi wouldn't use it on Genin.

"We go to the favorite place of the strongest one of us," Sasuke said suddenly, then pointed at the third line. "'Always follow the strongest line,' Itachi usually gives that advice when he's talking about tracking someone. It makes sense Jozun would know it."

"So, Sasuke-kun, what's your favorite place?" Sakura said with glistening eyes. Naruto and Sasuke shared a look, then both burst into laughter. Sakura frowned in confusion. "What's so funny?"

"I'm not the strongest one here," Sasuke chuckled. Sakura frowned even more.

"Yes you are, you're the Rookie of the Year! And you're an Uchiha!" Naruto _snerked._

"And yet, I'm the only one here with an unlocked Kekkei Genkai. But, if anything Sakura, we should be asking you what your favorite place is," he said in all seriousness, not looking up from the riddle. This caused both Sasuke and Sakura look at him like he'd grown another head. He just grunted.

"Sakura is the smartest out of all three of us. Kakashi has always valued intelligence and loyalty over brute force. That's why, despite his relatively low Chakra reserves, he's a low S-Ranked Shinobi in the Bingo Book. Sure he has enough to make, like, about fifty _**Kage Bunshin**_ maximum, but they're pretty weak. So, Sakura, what's you're favorite place in the village?" Sakura looked gape, with her mouth hanging open.

"Uh... the... Library." Naruto rose with a nod, used his foot to wipe out the riddle, then jumped away in a blur, followed closely by a confused Sasuke and a bewildered Sakura. They made it to the Village outskirts and began roof-jumping, alternating positions.

"So... where does the take-charge attitude come from? You're the Dobe. If anything, Sasuke-kun should be leading us." Sasuke laughed again, while Naruto gave no response, except looking back with his new eyes over one shoulder with a condescending smirk evident.

"There are so many things you don't know, Sakura," Sasuke chuckled. "But for now, let's just go with the 'Naruto was raised by the Sandaime and his son, and is thus uniquely suited to being squad leader' explanation." Sakura just frowned as they landed in front of the Civilian Library, to see Jozun lazing on the stone rail, his hands behind his head and on leg dangling lazily. He lifted one hand, without opening his eyes, and gave a lazy wave. Naruto drew one of his Katana and assumed a basic kenjutsu stance, while Sasuke looked like he was preparing to go through hand seals at a moments' notice. Sakura drew a kunai and held it in an admittedly terrible defensive stance.

"So hostile," drawled the Jounin in front of them. "Who said anything about combat?"

"Well, considering you have to know where each of us stand in all aspects of the Shinobi arts, and the bell tied to your belt, I'd say we're operating under a modified version of Kakashi's bell test."

"A good summary, Naruto," Jozun said seriously as he rose and cracked his neck menacingly. Then he gave a sinister smile that drove chills up Sakura and Sasuke's spines. "Now, since I'm facing three Genin, I'll tone it down a bit. But," he said with a raised finger. "I only have one bell, Kakashi has the other. And only the two of you with bells get to graduate to actual Genin." Sasuke frowned in confusion, and Sakura held up a fist in anger... directed at her blonde teammate.

"Naruto-baka! You better not get in Sasuke-kun's and my way!" all three males present, plus a few Civilans around, couldn't help but face-palm.

"Whatever... Sasuke, strike form five."

"Hai," the Uchiha responded, flashing through hand signs at incredible speed. " _ **Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!**_ " as soon as he finished, he took a deep breath of air, then exhaled through his thumb and forefinger held in a circle, releasing a fireball almost as big as the front doors to the building in front of them. Naruto formed a Chakra cloak of Kurama's Yin Chakra around him, then dashed _into_ the ball of flame, following with it to their Sensei.

 _Impressive,_ Jozun thought, preparing a Suiton Jutsu, his secondary affinity. _Not only can Sasuke perform Katon Jutsu at such a young age, the size, heat, and range are all well above Chuunin level. And, he worked it out with Naruto where Naruto uses the fireball as cover to attack the unsuspecting foe. Now that's teamwork... I guess. If Naruto didn't have a way to avoid roasting to death, this would be idiotic._

" _ **Suiton: Taju Teppodama!(Water Release: Mass Water Gunshot)**_ " Jozun shot out hundreds of water balls that looked like comets, eradicating the oncoming inferno, and forcing Naruto to jump to avoid becoming Swiss cheese. In answer, the blonde brought his drawn Katana down into a vertical slice from above, growling and dissipating his chakra cloak before either of his teammates could see it. Jozun saw the retaliation almost too late. He clenched his teeth.

" _ **Limit Break: Ultimate Fortress!**_ " his muscles seemed to become Adamantine as Naruto's Katana bounced off his shoulder with a loud _clang_! Naruto regained his balance, then began quickly slicing horizontally, multiple times in quick succession, which was added to when Sasuke jumped over the pair, grabbing on of the blonde's Tanto during the flight, and landed behind the Jounin, also slashing, albeit wildly. Jozun grinned as he dodged every single slash.

"Well, this has been fun. But if we don't move, not only will the Civilian Council have our heads for destroying Public Civilian Property, but Kisa will trace me. She is annoyingly good at tracking me down," with that, he leapt away and began running, forcing the Genin to follow. He never noticed that the string attached to the bell at his waist was nicked.

 _ **Kit, he's...**_

 _Heading back to the training ground, I know. Unfortunately, because you're a dick, I'm slower than shit and can't use any Jutsu._

 _ **Not entirely true. There is one ability your eyes have that you can use right now.**_

 _Well, what are they?_

 _ **They're gravitational Jutsu that can move almost anything. The downside is between each use, there is a minimum five second cool-down. Longer if you use more Chakra to make it stronger.**_

 _I didn't ask for an exposition, Kurama, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY._

 _ **Shinra Tensei and Bansho Ten'in.**_

 __ _Almighty Push and Universal Pull? Alright I guess it's worth a shot._

 _ **Channel Chakra through your right eye for Shinra Tensei, and imagine your Chakra forcing everything away. Left eye is the Bansho Ten'in, and you have to imagine..**_

 _That my chakra is a vortex, pulling shit in?_

 _ **Close enough.**_

 _This sounds eerily like an Uzumaki Jutsu._ He could feel the Kyuubi shrug. They landed back in training ground seven, to see Jozun and Kakashi standing side-by-side, both holding Kunai and at the ready. Naruto sheathed his Katana, startling everyone. He remained silent as he directed his Chakra through his left eye, focusing on the bell at Jozun's waist, which he had weakened the string to earlier.

" _ **Bansho Ten'in!**_ " with a small tinkle, the bell snapped from the Jounin's waist, and flew towards Naruto's open palm. However, he also managed to pull the other bell, which he hadn't prepared for, along with both Jounin, and his teammates from the sides. All in all, he was basically dogpiled. At least he had both bells.

"Jozun, get your hand off my ass, Sakura, get your foot out of my side, and Sasuke... get the fuck off me," he grumbled through the dirt, clenching his fingers around both bells. Once everyone rose, he stood and dusted himself off, then tossed Sakura and Sasuke each a bell.

"See you guys later, guess I'm off to the Academy." he turned to leave, only to find Kakashi standing in front of him, glaring, with his arms crossed and his foot tapping.

"I want a full explanation for that little shitstorm. But good job on passing," he added as an afterthought.

Naruto flopped over and raised his fist tiredly.

"Yay," he said weakly.


	23. Chapter 23: Wrong Side of Heaven

**A/N: So yeah, that happened.**

 **Kisa: You have no idea how much I laughed at that. Seriously. I almost died from oxygen deprivation. Yes, I am a guy. I thought that would have been obvious when I made a self-insert to this story in the form of Jozun. Why the hell would I genderbend myself? Unless a crack fic/ chapter. That is just too hilarious though! No, I don't just flirt with anyone and anything, although I was joking with you. Anywho, I'm actually pretty good at getting a read on people from a few interactions. You're not the first person to be surprised that I got their personality spot-on.**

 **Foxy Engineer: sorry about the confusion. Naruto could unlock two of the three, for example the chains and the Rinnegan, or the Rinnegan and the Shikotsumyaku, but the third would be locked. And as to the two that were chosen? Poll.**

 **Srsly tho, why do people hate on the Shikotsumyaku? I, personally, find it to be immensely useful. But then again, I am the guy who trains in sword and staff combat, so having the ability to form weapons infinitely from my very bones would be very good... plus I could jut my Humorous out when I elbow somebody in the face, causing more damage. Eh, to each his own I guess.**

 **Additional Disclaimer for the morons who can't figure it out: I don't own the song. Oh, and this is a song chapter :3**

 **Happy birthday hmscgod! And happy Valentine's Day to all you other poor suckers out there who actually believe in Hallmark holidays and go out to spend inordinate amounts of cash on shit that'll be gone in five seconds anyway. Seriously.**

 **Chapter 23: Wrong Side of Heaven**

 **Naruto age: 3**

 _I spoke to God Today, and she said that she's ashamed_

 _What have I become, what have I done?_

Kami looked down in disgust upon the creations she was once so proud of: the human race. In the new Era, in every Hidden Village, they shunned their own for things beyond their control.

 _I spoke to the Devil today, and he swears he's not to blame_

 _and I understood, cause I feel the same_

Kami turned to her darker half, Yami, with a glare, and he held up his hands in an 'I surrender' gesture.

"Wasn't me, chickadee. They did it to themselves," he said. She just sighed in defeat.

 _Arms wide open, I stand alone_

 _I'm no Hero, and I'm not made of stone_

A three year old Naruto went to say 'hello' to a child at the park, but their parents saw this, and pulled the kid away with a disgusted look, leaving Naruto and the child, who had moved to hug each other, in a rather touching display of immediate childhood affection, utterly confused. Naruto slowly lowered his arms as the tears began to well up in his cerulean eyes.

 _Right or wrong, I can hardly tell._ _  
_ _I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell._ _  
_ _The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, righteous side of hell._

"So, I get ignored for no reason?" he whispered to himself. "What did I do to deserve it?" he began to run away as the tears finally slid down his cheeks, and ideas started to form in his young mind. Ideas involving revenge. And water balloons.

"I don't know if Jiji would approve... but..."

 _I heard from God today, and she sounded just like me._ _  
_ _What have I done, and who have I become._

Kami wanted to reach down and pluck the poor blond up, if only for a bit, just to get him away from his personal hell. She wanted to coddle him and make him smile... but she couldn't. It might have had something to do with the fact She herself had a mischievous side.

 _I saw the Devil today, and he looked a lot like me._ _  
_ _I looked away, I turned away!_

It took her a moment to realize she actually knew someone with his exact shade of blond hair. She turned to Yami, with an eyebrow raised.

"What? You expected me to stay up here all the time, never go down and wreak havoc, or have any fun? Besides, it's like thirty generations, he can't actually get anything from me." Kami sighed and palmed her face.

 _Arms wide open, I stand alone._ _  
_ _I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone._

The next day, Naruto was walking into a clothing store, looking for something to replace the rags he currently had on, and was immediately grabbed by the scruff and thrown out. Hard. He felt the damned tears coming back, threatening to spill over.

 _Right or wrong, I can hardly tell._ _  
_ _I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell._ _  
_ _The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, righteous side of hell._

"Every time..." he forced the tears back, and began formulating more revenge, once again wondering if the Hokage would approve or not.

"I don't wanna hurt him... hmmm...maybe... paint? Or, no! Itching powder!"

 _I'm not defending, downward descending,_ _  
_ _Falling further and further away!_ _  
_ _Getting closer every day!_

Over time, Naruto's pranks grew more an more serious, but never to the point of viciousness; quick drying, non-toxic glue disguised as crème on a pie, swapping all the sugar in a restaurant with salt, and but of course, somehow painting the entire Hokage Tower bright green with Ramen everywhere. Seriously, how did no-one see that?

 _I'm getting closer every day, to the end._ _  
_ _To the end, the end, the end,_ _  
_ _I'm getting closer every day!_

Eventually, a thought entered his young head. A thought that would apparently make everyone happy, and end his pain in one fell swoop. Everybody wins, right?

 _Arms wide open, I stand alone._ _  
_ _I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone._

Three days later, Naruto awoke in the hospital, his hands restrained, but no-one was in the room with him. He felt the tears once more, and openly wept.

"Why? Why save me? What's the point? I was doing everyone a favor, wasn't I?"

 _Right or wrong, I can hardly tell._ _  
_ _I'm on the wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell._ _  
_ _The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side of hell._ _  
_ _The wrong side of heaven, and the righteous side, the righteous side of hell._

In the ceiling, the Hidden ANBU member with silver gravity-defying hair shook his head sadly as small tears leaked from the corner of his eye. He whispered to himself.

"Not everyone, Otouto. Not everyone."

A **/N: Okay, so I couldn't think of the best situations for all of the lyrics, but I tried. I might do a few more Song Chapters before this story is done, so keep an eye out. But yeah, I was listening to this song, 'Wrong Side of Heaven' by Five Finger Death Punch in case you didn't know, on my Itunes, and I was just like... 'WTF does this fit so perfectly to my story, and why do I have the sudden inspirations to do this at Three in the fucking morning? I have work later!' that, and I got a PM letting me know some shit I did wrong, like how Kurama appears to have Canon backstory, but is immediately buddy-buddy with the blond. So, a few chapters every now and then will interrupt the story to fill in some missing details... just like in Canon Manga! Eyyyyyy filler backstory!**

 **Anywhosamawhatser, I've always liked the idea that Naruto is of godly descent, you know... other than the whole... reincarnation thing. But I still wanted him to not literally be a god. It was just a little thing, it won't have any effect in the story's Canon.**


	24. Chapter 24: Near Death

**A/N: As everyone knows, I have a bit of fun when I get a hater. But there is a fine line between being a hater, and being a total Douchemuffin. Read the Reviews for yourselves if you're curious what I'm talking about.**

 **Shigure Toshiro: Thank you for your honest feedback with a legitimate reason as to why the chapter displeased you, and I appreciate that you are sticking with the story despite that.**

 **Guest: don't worry, the poll churned out the Chains too. Try reading the A/N's buddy, I announced which two Naruto is getting, and he said it in the story. But I enjoy your enthusiasm.**

 **Kisa: Maa Maa *waves hand lazily* don't worry about it**

 **xXAliceBlackXx and Ilikebob: Then I tugged the right heartstrings :3**

 **darkhuntressxir: and you didn't already?**

 **Chapter 24: Near Death**

 _You're doing what's best for everyone... you're doing what's best for everyone... you're doing what's best for everyone._ Naruto repeated the mantra over and over in his head, but still he hesitated. The kunai, which was rusty and chipped, was pressed to his skin, ready to tear it open, but it wouldn't move.

 **Inside the Seal**

"Kit... no..." Kurama was near tears as he looked out through his container's thoughts and memories. He had resolved several months ago that if this child, who had endured far more anger and hatred than he should have, could retain that brilliant smile, then maybe Kurama could be nice to him. After all, his father, the Rikoudo Sennin, had made him to be a guardian of children, protecting them through righteous rage. Each Bijuu had a job, and Kurama's was protecting the future, the children.

But now, it looked like he was about to fail... again. Countless times he had watched children suffer, but never as a Jinchuuriki did. At this point in the child's development, he couldn't course enough Chakra through the tiny Chakra coils to heal the boy, so his death was all but assured. Kurama placed his head against the cage, small tears leaking through his fur and down his snout.

"Father... I'm sorry... I failed you again..." Kurama's breath hitched as he felt the first tug on Naruto's wrist.

 **Outside the Seal**

With a great breath, Naruto steeled his resolve and gave a great yank, ripping open his wrist with the rusty blade. He almost cried out, but swallowed his pain, as he had always done. He didn't want to alert the ANBU outside his door. They'd stop him. He placed the blade against his flesh again, his skin already slick with blood. He felt a bit light-headed, but it wasn't enough. He gave another yank and ripped open another gap in his small wrist, far too small to be marred as such.

 **Inside the Seal**

As Naruto continued his death, Kurama was growing more and more hysterical. Finally, he wiped his eyes and gazed sadly out at the place that was the boys' mind. This was apparently the last time he would see it. For a sewer, it was fairly homey. At least there was no water. He sighed despondently, then steeled his own resolve.

"Kit... I will avenge this injustice. I will make. Them. Pay." with that, he settled in and waited for the Seal to weaken just enough. He preferred the boy not suffer on his way to the afterlife, and the Kyuubi no Kurama escaping the seal placed on his three-year-old body would kill him near instantly, instead of allowing him a slow, agonizing death that would result from bleeding out.

And then, he would show those idiotic humans just what a Demon was capable of. But just as he felt the young one pass out from blood loss, and just before the seal weakened enough, a Chakra signature appeared right next to his vessel, and almost immediately, a foreign Chakra entered the body of the boy, stitching his flesh shut. Kurama growled.

"Why can't they leave him be? They would instead send him to a slow death... bastards," and he settled in for another long wait.

 **Outside the seal**

Kakashi was frantically using the one medical Ninjutsu he knew to heal Naruto as best he could. He couldn't let his Sensei's son, his hero, and his little brother all in one, die.

Kakashi had taken Minato's words that Naruto should be viewed as a hero to heart, and he respected the young boy for carrying such a great burden, even if the child didn't know about it. He dealt with Anko, because it made the blond happy. He couldn't lose his Otouto.

"RAVEN! GECKO! GET TO THE HOSPITAL AND PREP A ROOM, NOW!" he screamed over his shoulder to the two ANBU on guard duty that night. The left quickly, choking on their own bile. They hadn't even noticed what the boy was doing. Kakashi picked up the limp, frail, nearly lifeless body and _**Shunshin**_ 'd to the hospital. Nurses and Doctors dissipated like water vapor at the aura of rage of distress the man put out. He found the prepped room and laid the boy gently on the bed as a Med-nin hooked up an IV to replace the blood Naruto had lost.

"You nearly lost him, Inu-san. Even a moment more, and he would have passed on. What could possibly lead this boy to such a drastic measure?" the Woman was genuinely concerned, Kakashi noted. It seemed she was one of the very few who didn't see Naruto as the Demon Fox.

"Ignorance," was the ANBU Captain's hollow answer as he pulled up a chair and sat, staring blankly at the motionless boy. He hung his head and rested it in the palm of his hands as the weight of emotion began to set in. it was going to be a long night.

 **A/N: Short, but it filled in a couple blanks.**


	25. Chapter 25: Encounters and Tora

**A/N: I. Will. Say. This. Once.**

 **IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY FUCKING STORY THEN DON'T FUCKING READ IT YOU SELF-CENTERED, BIGOTED, HOLIER-THAN-THOU FUCKING JACK HOLES! WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU TRY WRITING SOMETHING TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY?! HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU PUT ALL YOUR EFFORT INTO MAKING SOMETHING PEOPLE WILL ENJOY, WHILE STILL TRYING TO GO BACK AND FIX YOUR EARLIER MISTAKES SO IT ALL STILL WORKS, AND THEN SOME FUCKING JACKASS CAME ALONG AND POURED FUCKING ACID ON YOU HARD WORK AND SAID SOMETHING LIKE**

 **"I hope you see this you filthy cunt. Do something better with your life, if you cannot write a half decent piece of writing. Dumbass."**

 **YEAH STIEG, I'M CALLING YOU OUT ON YOUR BULLSHIT. YOU HAVE CROSSED THE GODDAMN LINE YOU COCKSUCKING, DUNG CHEWING, CAMEL FUCKING DOUCHE MUFFIN! I DON'T SEE YOUR FUCKING SHITTY ASS STORIES ANYWHERE YOU FUCK! AT LEAST I HAVE PEOPLE ADMIRING MY WORK! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?! INSULT ME ALL THE FUCK YOU WANT, BUT WHEN YOU STRIKE AT MY WORK THAT I HAVE BEEN REPETEDLY TOLD IS LOVED, BASICALLY TELLING ME TO SAY FUCK IT AND QUIT, LEAVING MY LOYAL READERS WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT STICK A THUMB UP THEIR ASSES, THAT'S WHEN YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A GODDAMNED CHAINSAW COVERED IN TWENTY-GRIT SANDPAPER, YOU INBRED JACKASS.**

 ***Breaths out a large puff of rage* And 'Shadows of me' the same fucking rant goes for you. Then don't waste your time, you stupid fuck. But I will not lie down and take such bullshit from someone who has no stories posted, therefore, your opinion does not fucking matter. Get bent.**

 **As for everyone else, thank you for you reviews. I greatly appreciate all of your feedback. And keep in mind, my dear readers; Constructive Criticism- I appreciate. Haters- I have fun with. Absolute Douchemuffins- I ignore. People telling me that all you lovelies are basically wasted space because they in particular didn't like my story, because I haven't actually gotten to the parts where it does actually get longer? I will call forth my friends in hell to make their souls burn forever in the fiery abyss. Only one person I want to fully directly address this time around.**

 **Yano Uzumaki: Thank you! PM me, I can help you out! And it appears I can chalk up another Fanboy/girl? YAY!**

 **Chapter 25: Encounters and Tora**

"Why isn't Naruto helping?" Sakura whined as she pulled up several more clumps of weeds. Team Seven-Twelve had been an active squad for a week, and Sakura and Sasuke had quickly discovered the ire that is D-rank missions. Naruto, meanwhile, was lounging in a nearby tree, relaxing with his hands linked behind his head, and his right leg crossed over his left, while some straw stuck out of his mouth. Jozun looked up from the book he was reading under said tree and saw several **_Kage Bunshin_** running around throughout the farm they were currently at, doing a vast majority of the chores required. He stuck his nose back into the book.

"He is, Sakura, now stop whining and get back to weeding. Or would you rather do a work-out?" Naruto smirked from his position, though no-one saw it, but kept his eyes closed. He could see in his minds' eye Sakura paling and fervently ripping weeds from the ground.

"I see you're also using your masochistic and sadistic training methods as negative reinforcement, Jozun," he drawled. The Jounin chuckled.

"I learned from the best, _sensei_. Plus Anko gave me a few pointers." Kakashi gave a perverse giggle while Naruto groaned.

"Jozun, I was never your sensei. I _helped_ your sensei."

"Eh, whatever. Far as I'm concerned, you are my sensei, just like Ita-sensei. You put just as much effort into teaching and helping us grow as Itachi did." Naruto just grunted and adjusted his head against the tree trunk. The rest of the 'mission' went much the same way, with the two _actual_ Genin doing a meager task together while Naruto Clones ran around doing others, and the real blond relaxed and bantered with the two sensei of the team.

Finally, after several hours of labor, Sakura and Sasuke puffed over and sat down, groaning at their sore muscles, considering most of the things they'd done had consisted of hunching over and doing repetitive motions. Kakashi looked up from his _Icha Icha_ , and saw them done, so he eye smiled.

"Well, done team! C'mon let's go get another mission." The two Genin rose and followed after the Cyclops like good little ducklings, while Jozun and Naruto rose and stretched, then followed at a more leisurely pace. They walked through the village in silence, and both ignored the glares from the civilians. Until one tried something about a block from the Mission building. It was funny, because this _particular_ civvie was a retired Jounin, and had held **Kage** in the highest esteem, but absolutely _hated_ Naruto. Irony was about to bitch-slap him in the face.

The man growled when he saw the blond with a Hiate-ate, then pulled a kunai- a habit he had never dropped from his Shinobi days- and charged before Jozun could register the danger. The man went to slash Naruto's face, but suddenly found himself on his knees, with his arms held behind his back painfully, and his own kunai at his throat. He blinked stupidly.

" _Tsk, tsk, tsk_ ," Naruto clucked as he pulled the mans' wrists together in his right hand and stretched them farther, causing the man to grimace. "A civilian should know better than to attack a Shinobi. Especially when that civilian is a retired Shinobi himself. For shame." the man growled when he heard the _demon_ scolding him.

"You are no Shinobi, _demon_. I don't know who you tricked or killed, but that Hiate-ate is tainted by touching your flesh. I will not allow this _farce_ to stand!" he then tried muscling his arms free, but only succeeded in straining them more within the Jinchuuriki's Adamantine grip. Naruto grinned at Jozun.

"Hear that, Sensei? Apparently, I'm not a Shinobi. And here I thought I was a Genin all this week." Jozun had to literally bite his tongue to stop from laughing.

"Well then I guess we've both been decieved, eh Naruto? Because I was pretty sure you passed your test also. Oh well, if you're not a Shinobi, then I guess you can take those Rinnegan of yours and leave the Village with no backlash, huh?" Every Shinobi within a three block radius froze at the word _Rinnegan_ , and the still-restrained man took a sharp breath. Jozun and Naruto shared a grin. They absolutely loved pranks and dropping bombshells when people least expected it. Naruto decided to drop the Genjutsu Kakashi had placed over his eyes to avoid a situation.

"There is no way in _hell_ this _demon_ has the Rinnegan of legend!" spat the man. In answer, Naruto placed his foot in between the mans' shoulder blades, released his hands, and kicked him forward. The ex-Shinobi was up and facing the boy with two kunai drawn in reverse grip in less than a second. Naruto remained in a relaxed stance, his arms crossed, his purple eyes boring into the idiot. He let the view speak for itself. It didn't hurt he had four separate swords on his person. The soon-to-be-dead man charged at the Blond, bringing his kunai in a scissor cut, aiming to decapitate him in one move.

" ** _Shinra Tensei_** ," Naruto said with a bored voice, and suddenly, the idiot, along with at least a five-foot radius around the Rinnegan wielder, was blown back by a wave of Chakra. Using his Gravity Jutsu served two purposes: repelling the pitiful attack, and releasing a small Chakra pulse to alert the Hokage and ANBU that something was happening. The idiotic man rose and glared heatedly at the Blond. Meanwhile, other Civilians and Shinobi were gathering around in a fairly large circle, watching.

"Hey! He didn't do anything to you, you damn demon!" a civilian shouted, as he threw an empty beer bottle at Naruto's head. It was swatted away without any visible effort.

"In case you didn't notice," the boy said with a stony voice that made _everyone_ shiver in fear. "He assaulted me for no reason. I merely defended myself."

"That's not what I saw!" said the same civilian, and all the _other_ civilians shouted their agreement. Naruto leveled his ringed eyes on the Man who threw the bottle. Everyone gasped and took a step back.

"Unfortunately for you, what you saw doesn't matter. I have three credible witnesses, all of whom hold more weight in this Village than you. On top of that, this is now a _Shinobi_ matter, and you, being a _Civilian_ have no say whatsoever."

"Well who are you 'Credible witnesses'?" the Civilian sneered with obvious disdain.

"Jozun-sensei here, who happens to be head of the Sekazu Clan," Naruto thumbed in the direction of Jozun, who grinned ferally as everyone blanched at recognizing him. "Kakashi-sensei, up there," here, Naruto pointed at the roof of a building, where everyone turned to see the Silver-haired Jounin leaning against a chimney. "Who is an Elite Jounin, and has an implanted **_Sharingan_** as you all know. I would bet he memorised the entire event in case someone needs a full run through, like, say a Yamanaka. Am I right, Kakashi?"

"Yep!" the Copy Nin chirped.

"And third, my Jiji, the Hokage, who happens to be standing right behind you." the Civilian paled considerably and turned mechanically to see that the Genin had spoken the truth. Hiruzen was standing behind and slightly to the left of him, smoking his pipe. "Actually, Jij, what _are_ you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the Mission room?" Hiruzen shrugged.

"I thought I'd meet you halfway and we could go to lunch together." Naruto smiled an nodded. "But first, it seems we must resolve this issue. Naruto-kun, you have permission to deal whatever justice you find sufficient." the Civilians gasped, but the Shinobi nodded understanding. Naruto grinned at the Ex-Jounin who had attacked him.

"Oh the beauty of being the grandson of the Hokage, a member of a clan, and the only wielder of a Kekkei Genkai."

"What shit are you spouting?!"

"Lemme put it this way, fuck-face: You pushed the 'Demon' Button. You shouldn'ta did that." ( **DBZ abridged reference!** ) The man roared and attacked again, swiping ferociously in quick succession, trying to kill Naruto. The blond merely swayed lazily out of the way of every swipe.

 _Why are Jounins so slow?_

 _ **They're not. You're just fast.**_

 _Semantics._ Naruto suddenly whipped out one of his Katana and blocked both kunai, which had been coming in for another scissor cut. The man seemed genuinely surprised that a _Genin_ had stopped his attack with so little effort. He pushed all the harder, trying to overpower the brat. It was a futile prospect, but he didn't know that. Naruto pushed back, throwing the man backwards, then released his Katana and did a back-flip-kick that served two purposes. The first was that his foot hit the hilt of his Katana and launched it skyward. The second was that said foot kept going and connected with the man's chin, sending him reeling once more.

Naruto pulled his momentum continuously in a flip, and finally landed on his feet after somersaulting a few times. He dug his left heel in, then bolted forward, aiming to punch the man in the chest. The Man saw this and raised his Kunai in a position where the boy would impale himself if he didn't stop. Naruto smirked and chucked a kunai of his own, the did three quick **_Kawarimi_** so instead of a throwing knife flying ahead of him, his Katana was heading blade-first at high speed at the man. Green eyes widened in alarm.

" ** _Shinra Tensei!_** " the push made the Katana blast forward even faster. It struck the man before he could even react, and impaled him right through the sternum, having been pushed with enough force to blast through the bone and cartilage. The tip sprouted from his back, and he fell to his knees, coughing up blood as he looked with wide eyes at the young Shinobi who had just _decimated_ him inside of three moves. Naruto caught the falling kunai in a reverse grip and held the blade up under the dying mans' chin.

"Any last words?" he asked quietly, a disturbing gleam in his eyes.

"F-" the man was interrupted my another bloody cough. "Fuck... you... Demon..." with that, Naruto drove his kunai upward, through the mans' brain, ending him quickly, even though he would have died in like thirty seconds anyway. He left the kunai where it was, but planted his foot on the corpse's chest, wrapped both hands around the hilt of his katana, and gave a mighty tug, ripping it free of the quickly cooling body. Blood spewed from the hole, and the blond side-stepped quickly to abvoid getting sprayed. He then wiped both sides of the blade on the shirt of his latest victim, cleaning it of blood, and sheathed it in one fluid motion. He quickly turned and pointed at the man who had shouted earlier.

" ** _Bansho Ten'in_** " the Civilian flew forward, into Naruto's waiting grip. Tanned fingers closed around his neck. "As a Shinobi of Konohakagure no Sato, I hereby place you under arrest for breaking the law set forth by the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, thirteen years ago." the man began quivering in fear as Naruto leaned forward an whispered in his ear. "Now you have a _reason_ to call me a demon. If you insist on giving me a title, I intend to live up to it. Have fun with Ibiki."

A squad of ANBU appeared, quickly handcuffed the terrified man, who promptly wet himself as soon as he was out of Naruto's grip, and disappeared in four puffs of smoke. Naruto turned and walked away, the crowd clearing on either side of him. Hiruzen caught up quickly.

"Very impressive, Naruto-kun. But I must ask, why reveal your **_Rinnegan_** _?_ I thought you were going to keep it a secret as long as possible."

"Well... that moron said I wasn't a Shinobi, so Jozun mentioned it and said I could leave the Village with no backlash, since according to him, I wasn't under Shinobi jurisdiction. You showed up right then, so you know the rest."

"You do realize the Council will try to force you into the CRI **(A/N: Clan Resoration Initiative. Sometimes I get so tired of seeing Clan Restoration Act all the time, but it's the same thing, just a different name** )?" Jozun said, having caught up after pushing through the gaping crowd. "And can I join you guys for lunch? I don't wanna go home."

"Stop forgetting your meds," Naruto yawned. Jozun frowned.

"I didn't forget them this time. I don't wanna go home because Kisa managed to convince Ita-sensei to go on a date with her, and she decided it would be lunch, today, in my house."

"Oh... then yeah, you can come. And the operative word with the CRI is _try_. Considering they only know I'm part of the _Sarutobi_ clan, which is not in need of restoring, they can't do shit. It's their own fault for totally erasing all record of the _Uzumaki_ Clan from Konoha's history. They hold absolutely no leverage over me." Jozun looked at the Ex-ANBU with awe.

"You had them check-mated before they even realised they were playing." Naruto just grinned an nodded. The three found themselves at one of the Barbecue restaurants owned by the Akimichi Clan, where Naruto was more than welcome, and went inside for lunch.

 **Time Skip- An Hour and a Half later in the Mission Room**

"Alright... let's see what we've got for you all..." Hiruzen mumbled as he looked through the D-Rank mission scroll.

"Jiji, I don't think Sasuke and Sakura have met Tora-chan yet, have they?" Naruto piped up, hiding his evil grin, which was shared by Kakashi, Jozun, _and_ Hiruzen.

"No, Naruto, I don't believe they have. Very well, Team Seven-Twelve, your current mission is to find and capture the Daimyo's Wife's cat, Tora. Identifying mark is a ribbon on the left ear. Dismissed." Sakura looked confused, and Sasuke looked relieved as the group walked out. The last thing Hiruzen heard was the Uchiha saying something incredibly stupid.

"Thank, Kami. How hard could it be to catch a cat?"

 **Another two hours later**

Team Seven-Twelve, along with their two Jounin-Sensei were now standing before the Hokage, looking like they had run through a bramble thicket. Jozun and Kakashi were both moderately scratched up, but mostly intact. Sasuke and Sakura, however... their clothes were rags, their hair was sticking everywhere, and they were covered in so many scratches and so much blood, it looked like they had just fought the entire Third Shinobi World War by themselves. Sasuke cast a wary eye at the cause of all the mayhem, Tora. Who was currently resting contentedly and purring rather loudly, on top of Naruto's head. The Blond looked exactly the same as he had when they'd left, except he was now showing his full-blown, shit-eating grin.

"I hate you right now, Naruto," Sasuke muttered while Hiruzen had to refrain from laughing.

 **Flashback- Ten minutes prior**

 _After nearly two hours of tracking, tailing, and capture attempts, Sakura, Sasuke, Jozun, and Kakashi were no closer to apprehending what the two Genin had quickly realized was the devil._

 _"WHY ISN'T NARUTO DOING ANYTHING?!" Sasuke screamed in frustration, pulling at his hair as he fell to his knees, desperation in his eyes. Naruto chuckled._

 _"I wanted to see how long it would take before you snapped. Tora is infamous for evading capture and making her pursuers' lives a living hell. It tends to happen when you escape every day and are chased by Shinobi."_

 _"You knew..." Sakura's eye twitched as she shuffled toward her blond Teammate, her hands flexing as though to strangle him._

 _"Of course I knew, I hear about it all the time. I even chased Tora-chan once when Jiji was training me before I entered the Academy."_

 _"HOW CAN YOU CALL THAT DEMON -CHAN?!" Sasuke screeched, sounding remarkably like Sakura. Naruto grinned._

 _"Like this, Tora-chan_ _" he called out sweetly, pulling a bag of kitty kibble treats from somewhere and giving it a gentle shake. The little orange tabby was immediately twining around his legs, meowing sweetly and rubbing her length along the Blond's shins. "Hello, Tora-chan!" he reached down and picked up the cat, who offered no resistance, and held her in his arms where she was basically sitting on his right arm as his left maneuvered into the treat bag and pulled out two of them._

 _He presented the treats to Tora, who took them and began purring, and scratched behind her ear, causing the purring to get louder._

 _"How've you been, beautiful?" Tora, in answer, jumped up onto his shoulder, rubbed her cheek on his, then jumped up on his head and curled up, still purring loudly. Naruto grinned more, then turned and walked away. It took his team a full minute before they reacted._

 _"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!" all four screamed at once as they chased after the Sarutobi, who was walking quickly but carefully so as to avoid disturbing the cat on his cranium._

 _"Does this make Tora-chan the 'Cat_ ** _as_** _the hat'?" Naruto joked, causing everyone to groan._

 **Flashback End**

"Tora-Chwan!" came the cry of a very... rotund woman as she bolted forward and began immediately crushing the cat, who let out an angry yowl, clawed her face, then jumped back onto the blonde's head, and curled up again. The woman looked utterly confused.

"Tora-chwan! Come to mommy!" she reached for Tora again, but was met with a hiss and swiping claws. Naruto shrugged.

"Looks like Tora-chan wants to stay with me. Later," he turned and left without a backward glance. The Daimyo's wife looked confused, then heartbroken, then absolutely livid.

"GET BACK HERE WITH MY TORA-CHWAN!" she hobbled after the blond Genin, and everyone in the Mission room, Hiruzen included, bolted after her to watch the show bound to happen. They very rarely got to see the Daimyo's wife humiliated in public. They made it to the street before the chubby woman caught up with Naruto.

"Give me back my baby!"

"Obviously, Tora doesn't want to go with you. I'm not going to force her."

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" she shrieked.

"Yes, I do. You are the wife of the Daimyo of Hi no Kuni, and apparently, a very bad pet owner. I couldn't care less who you are." The woman went purple with rage. Hiruzen noticed he was standing next to the actual Daimyo himself.

"Aren't you going to do anything?" he asked the Feudal Lord. The man just waved a hand lazily.

"It's an important lesson for her to learn. I've had to watch that poor cat suffer for too long. As long as he doesn't try to kill or permanently cripple her, I'm content to watch." Hiruzen blinked at the man.

"You are a terrible Husband. I love it!" The two turned back to the scene.

"GIVE ME BACK MY CAT!" the woman jumped forward, one arm poised to grab Tora, the other ready to strangle the boy who dared kidnap her precious Tora-Chwan. She found both held instead in the Blond's calloused, uncompromising grip as his purple eyes bored into her very soul.

"If Tora wanted to go back to you, I would. Maybe next time you get a pet, you won't fucking _smother_ it. There are correct ways to deal with pets, and you were doing none of them. So here's an idea: read a fucking book about pet care, try again, and don't show your face in this Village again, you fat cow. I'd have thought you'd learn form the _fourteen other pets you had that ran away_. If your pet keeps trying to run away, _you are doing something wrong_. Now get out." with that, he released the woman's wrists, turned and walked away, leaving a gobsmacked Daimyo's wife, and a laughing crowd. Hiruzen turned to the Daimyo, who was trying his best not to laugh at his wife's misfortune.

"So... worth it?" it took the Lord a moment to catch his breath.

"If you had more Shinobi like him, this would have happened sooner, and I wouldn't spend a fortune on buying her a new pet every few years."

"If we had more Shinobi like him... the Village would be burned to the ground."

With that, Hiruzen turned to return to the Hokage Tower.

His smug grin never left his face.

 **A/N: Okay, so I'm putting this story on Hiatus for a bit. I need to catch up with my other ongoing stories, so check them out! But I'll be working on them until they're at least sort of caught up to this one. Ja Ne!**


	26. Chapter 26: The Setup

**A/N: I am only doing this chapter to address a few notes. After this, it is back on hiatus while I work on my other stories.**

 **Referring to Chapter 17, I was in band myself, people. I played Euphionium, and was first chair for five years before I had to leave Band. I know the difference between Octaves and Decibles. But Naruto, a thirteen-year-old, who in my story has never even touched a musical instrument and would probably only hear the phrase in passing, does not. I am all too aware that there was a mistake.** **It was intentional** **. Naruto uses no sound-based techniques like the Oto-nin, and doesn't play any instruments, so he wouldn't know the proper use of the word Octaves. I just thought I'd clear that up for all of you who think I'm either ignorant or stupid. Just because he is a Genius and a bad-ass, does not make him infallible. There is a lot of shit he doesn't know. This chapter will be short.**

 **Chapter 26: The Build-up**

"We shouldn't trust that man..."

"I know, but we aren't in any position to deny the mission."

"I have a bad feeling about it all, though."

"You and your superstition!"

"Zabuza-sama, I'm serious. Call it superstition or Intuition. Either way, I don't feel right about this job."

"Heh, the girl is afraid. Whatcha say, Gozu? Think we can get it done without any need for them?"

"I think so, Mizu."

"You two have one chance before I intervene." the twin men with mirrored gauntlets bowed and vanished, leaving the large, muscular man with the androgynous girl. "Haku, relax. We just need to kill one old man, then we can go back to Kiri," he said softly, resting a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder.

"That's just it, Zabuza-sama," she whispered back. "I'm not sure we can."

 **With Naruto in his room**

"Kona, leave Tora-chan alone while she adjusts," Naruto said in a bored voice as he flipped lazily through one of his uncle's manga. He'd read the whole series. Konohamaru pouted, but walked away from the cat and flopped onto the bed next to his cousin.

"Naru-nii, are we keeping her?" Naruto sighed and put the book down.

"Yes, Kona, we are. Now go wash up for dinner before Oba starts making a fuss."

"Hai!" Konohamaru an out to go wash just as his mother called up the stairs for him to do so. Naruto rose, scratched the cat behind the ears, and clicked his tongue for her to follow. He trotted down the stairs with the orange tabby hot on his heels, and he entered the kitchen, grabbed a saucer and the milk from the fridge. He poured some milk into the saucer, then put it on the ground out of the way so she could lap at it, which she did with great glee.

"Naru-kun, when did you get a cat?"

"Today, Oba-chan. She was the Daimyo's wife's cat, but she decided she liked me better. Isn't that right Tora-chan?" he asked as he squatted down and rubbed Tora's back. She purred and jutted her back into the rub.

Naruto suddenly shivered violently, drawing the Attention of his aunt and Asuma, who had just entered the kitchen.

"Well, that can't be good. I know you aren't cold. What's up Naru?"

"I don't know Tou-chan... I just felt like everything is about to change..." 


	27. Chapter 27: Demons Galore

**A/N: APRIL FOOLS! Like I'd ever abandon a story! Especially one that so many people love! Nah, I just wanted to see how many people would freak out. Anywho, at this point I think people are being major asshats just to get an explosive reaction from me. Say that shit without the Anonymity. Also, my Dad passed away years ago, but thanks for the painful reminder of what I've been without since my childhood.**

 **Kitsuneswiftpaw: I am so sorry I made you cry.**

 **One final note.**

 **Who knew Fanfiction was a dating site?**

 **Chapter 27: Demons Galore**

"Jiji, I think Sasuke and Sakura are ready for a C-Rank," Naruto stated, much to the surprise of everyone, as he stood at Parade rest.

"What?" Hiruzen said as he wiggled his pinky in his ear. "I'm sorry, but I didn't hear you clearly. It sounded like you just said your sub- er, teammates are ready for a C-Ranked mission."

"That's exactly what I said. Besides the fact that they are both getting antsy and were about to mutiny, Sasuke and Sakura both display a strategic mind in spars against Jozun, they have _both_ built up stamina and strength, and strengthened their chakra reserves. I'd even go so far as to say that they should start specializations soon. All evidence points to them being able to handle a simple C-Rank, especially with two Jounin as back-up." Sakura's jaw dropped at the report and that _Naruto_ had delivered it, and so professionally. Sasuke stared at his best friend like he'd gone nuts.

"And what about you? Why say _they_ can handle it with _two jounin_?" Hiruzen asked with a stern edge in his voice and a steely gaze leveled at his grandson. Naruto snapped to attention.

"I recently became aware of two missions taking place in the Land of Waves. Personally, I'd ask that I be given a leave of absence from duty to train with Ero-Sennin, but you should _send your best operative_ to take care of the second, higher level mission. I'm confident they can handle a C-Rank escort without me. Besides, with the Chuunin Exams coming up, and the... odd entries, I have a feeling I need to train harder to be able to take on anything that could possibly come our way." Naruto met his Grandfathers' gaze, and Hiruzen knew what he was talking about.

"Jiji, since when have Kumo and Iwa come to a Chuunin Selection Exam that was held in Konohoa? Just because they extended a peace treaty for it doesn't mean anything. Kumo has been known to break peace treaties, and I'm sure Iwa would jump at the chance to assess our defenses." Hiruzen sighed at the blond's logic.

"Very well, you will _train with Jiraiya_. Meanwhile, Team Seven/ Twelve, you shall escort a client to Wave and protect him. Mister Tazuna, you may come in!" A door to the side opened and revealed an aged gentleman who wore a straw hat and had a towel around his neck and a large pack on his back. The Genin noted the sake bottle in his hand as he belched a noxious cloud of fumes and leaned against the doorway.

"Yer sending me home with a bunch of wet-nosed brats? They don't look like they could harm a twig... 'cept maybe the blondie over there."

"Actually, Naruto will not be joining your escort."

"Shame, he looks capable enough. Look here, I'm the legendary Bridge Builder Tazuna, and you all must protect me with your lives while I finish my bridge in Wave!"

"Okay guys," Kakashi cut in, holding Sasuke and Sakura by their shirt collars to stop them from pummeling Tazuna. "Pack for at least a month away to be safe, and meet by the gate in an hour." Finally, the Genin nodded and stormed out while Jozun and Kakashi walked out with Tazuna, discussing his bridge. Once they were gone, Hiruzen cleared his throat, but Naruto kept staring after his departed friends with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Naruto..." Iruka spoke up for the first time that day.

"I am not Naruto, Chuunin Umino." Iruka flinched at the coldness in the child's voice. No, not even coldness. Emptiness. It was as though the bright boy he knew had been replaced by a wall. Naruto reached into his pouch and removed a scroll, from which he unsealed his ANBU mask. After placing it on his face, he touched his shoulder and his Genin outfit was replaced by standard ANBU gear, the only difference being that instead of a single _Tanto_ , _Kage_ now had two Katana crossed over his back. He turned to face Hiruzen.

"My mission Hokage-sama?" a somehow audible crack echoed from the old man's chest at the sight he had wished to never see again. Oh, how he hated _Kage_.

"Your mission is to shadow Team Seven/ Twelve and protect them from afar as they carry out their mission in Wave. And, if given the opportunity, or motive, you are to locate and assassinate Gato the Shipping Magnate. This is a collective mission from the Kage's and Daimyo's of Hi, Kaze, and Mizu. Dismissed Operative Shadow." _Kage_ bowed and vanished in a single blurry line.

"Who was that monster?" Iruka whispered fearfully, tears beginning in his eyes. Hiruzen sobbed once and rested his face in his hands.

"My best agent."

 **One Hour Later at the Gate**

 _Kage_ looked down from the top of the Wall watchtower, unnoticed even in broad daylight out in the open.

"What's up with Naruto?" he heard Haruno Sakura say as the group he was to watch departed. He followed silently. Hatake Kakashi, the Copy Nin, sighed and shared a look with the other Jounin among the group, Jozun of the Bodybreak from the Sekazu clan.

"He's being cautious," the Younger Jounin said. "Iwagakure and Kumokagure have both enrolled a team or two in the upcoming Chuunin exams. Given Konoha's history with those two, it's probably best Naruto is training with a Sannin." Uchiha Sasuke, the younger of two remaining from that famed clan, remained silent, but looked up into the trees, almost right at _Kage._

"Whatever, let's get moving," So, that was the legendary Uchiha broodiness. Haruno asked some simple question about Shinobi in Wave, and Hatake went into lecture mode. During the spiel, both Jounin and _Kage_ noted the puddle the group passed. When two Shinobi melded out of the water and moved toward Hatake from behind, a mere shadow flashed over the group, and as they all snapped around, they noted that there was nothing. The puddle was gone, but there was nothing else of note. _Kage_ noted that Hatake and Sekazu both shivered slightly. Uchiha looked confused, but turned and kept moving. Even though he knew, he couldn't figure it out. _Kage_ shook his head.

"I will remove the silencing tag from one of you, and he will answer my questions," came a deadly quiet voice from the deep shadows. The two tied-up Chuunin-level Nukenin mimed laughing at the order, and the white and black mask jutted out slightly from the darkness.

"Or would you like to deal with the wrath of the Shadow of the Leaf?" both men suddenly turned deathly pale and began shaking their heads violently. A hand shot forward, and suddenly Gozu could hear his own breathe again.

"We are,"

"I know who you are, Demon Brother. You will tell me who you currently work for, what your objective is, and who hired you."

"We are subordinates of Momochi Zabuza, and we were hired by Gato to kill the geezer bridge builder before he can finish his bridge in wave."

A small nod. "You have been most co-operative. I will now silence you again," a flash, and Gozu was silent once more. "In exactly thirty minutes after I leave, a Konoha ANBU squad will find you. When they remove the silencing seals, you will tell them the Darkness grows, and offer yourselves up as hostages and defectors to Konoha. If you do not comply, you will die within the month. If you betray your new village, you will die immediately. Do I make myself clear?" both Nukenin nodded vigorously, tears running down their cheeks.

 _Kage_ leapt away, and as soon as he was out of sight, the Demon Brothers felt the KI that had been so pervasive and demonic it made them see their own deaths multiple times in multiple ways, disappear as well. They hadn't even noticed it was happening until it was gone, it had been so subtle.

 _Kage_ had just been given his motive.

 **Two days later- outskirts of Wave with Team Seven**

"Get down!" Kakashi cried as he tackled Tazuna and Jozun shouldered Sakura to the ground. A very large blade whirled overhead and buried itself into a tree, before a muscular man in grey camo pants and Shinobi sandals with arm warmers and gauze over his mouth landed on the handle. His Hiate-ate, a scratch through the symbol for Kirigakure, was slanted as he turned his head to face the group.

"Ah," he said in a gravelly voice. "I get to face the Copy Nin AND the Body Breaker? My lucky day!"

"Jozun, stay with the Genin and protect Tazuna."

"Hai!"

"You expect Genin to stop me, Kakashi? Ha!" with a quick handsign, dense fog rolled in from all directions and enshrouded the battlefield. Everyone felt imminent death and fear, and the three surrounding the Client began shaking, in various degrees.

"Even a Jounin is fearful. A shame, but it proves that you tree huggers don't have the necessary skills. A shinobi is one who walks the line between life and death every moment. A Tool used solely for killing. In you, that mindset dies stillborn!" the gravelly voice rolled from everywhere at once.

"Calm down, guys. Momochi Zabuza is a master of the silent killing technique, and he enjoys mind games," Kakashi said, eye-smiling at his team, his Hiate-ate no longer covering his left eye. "I'll protect..."

"Stow the shit, Hatake. I don't give a damn if you were copying his _Mizu Bunshin_." with those empty words, the mist evaporated in seconds, and the monster known as Zabuza rolled onto the ground, broken and bloody, groaning in pain.

"Ahem... _Kage..._ so good to know you were covering us all this time. But why spare Mamochi?" Kakashi asked, awkwardly rubbing his neck and re-covering his Sharingan. In answer, the Teen-sized Brunet ANBU dropped the severed head of an old man with gray hair and glasses, the face distorted in pure horror.

"Because he is no longer your enemy. His payroll, who was going to betray you anyway, Mamochi," _Kage_ said with a nudge of his foot towards the man who was slowly sitting up. "Is dead. Now, Demon of the Bloody Mist, you have two choices." Zabuza groaned as he tried rotating his shoulder.

"And what would they be?"

"Either you join the Leaf and renounce all plans of helping the Rebellion in Mizu to end the Bloodline Purges," Zabuza stiffened and everyone else seemed shocked.

"Or?"

"Or you remain a Nukenin with the intention of funding the Rebellion, thus remaining our enemy, and I will kill you for your bounty to serve Konoha." Zabuza growled and his fingers twitched towards his Kubikuribocho, which was still oddly right next to him.

"I would think very carefully before you choose, Mamochi. Your choice also affects your adopted Daughter in the trees behind me." Zabuza froze.

 _How did he sense Haku? Even the best ANBU we've come across haven't been able to do that._

"She of course will receive her own choice, but your choice greatly affects the approach." with a roar, the Demon swung his massive sword at the speaker.

"NO-ONE THREATENS HAKU!" he was utterly shocked when his blade was caught between two fingers.

"A shame. Your skill and knowledge could have been useful." _Kage_ rushed forward fasther than anyone could trace and plunged one Katana into his foe's abdomen, then ripped it up, bisecting Momochi Zabuza from the belly button up. Sheer shock registered on the man's face, before the two halves fell away and a fountain of blood and gore sprayed everywhere. The legs crumbled, the two flaps on either side flopping to the ground, and Zabuza's innards spilled onto the ground, causing Sakura, Sasuke, Jozun, and Haku over in the trees to vomit. Kakashi looked pale.

"Hatake, claim his sword for the bounty," the killer said tonelessly.

"..But your choice greatly affects the approach."

"What the hell..."

"Ah, I see you have experienced the effect of my KI. That was only one possibility. Now, choose." Zabuza vomited on the ground next to him, then picked up his blade and rested the tip on the ground. He used it to support himself.

"I... will... join you..." with those words, the demonic pressure let up, allowing everyone to breathe. _Kage_ nodded, then turned around.

"Will you resist, or join your master?" he called. A blur later, and an androgynous youth was kneeling before the ANBU, panting.

"I will serve the Leaf... but may I know your name?"

"Why?"

"I wish to know who spared my life..."

A gloved hand slowly reached up for the mask.


	28. Chapter 28: The Human Element?

**Here's your longer chapter.**

 **Chapter 28: The Human Element?**

Gloved hands reached slowly for the black and white mask, and made a clenching motion, as though to remove it, before the middle and index fingers of said hand, the left on the mysterious figure in the midst of all, trailed slowly, almost hypnotically, along some of the shadow swirls as if by rote memory.

"There is no-one behind this mask," came the empty voice. Kakashi stiffened at the response. That was one thing Shadow had never quite grasped: maintaining one's humanity throughout the ANBU guise. How he didn't have multiple personalities was a mystery.

"Muscles and flesh define a person, I suppose?" asked _Kage_. "If that were the case, Oorochimaru of the Konoha Sannin would be a different person every three or so years. No, Haku-san," he continued as his hand fell to his side, limp. "There is truly no person behind this mask. If once there was, he was long ago destroyed by this world we inhabit. Undoubtedly, under this mask is another, and another. An endless cycle of imbalance and unjust retaliation shattered any humanity in this vessel. All you need know is that this... person, this weapon is loyal only to one ruler, one person once held precious." Haku went rigid as her eyes flicked to Zabuza, who's own orbs were widened.

"But if you insist on seeing what the face of the being that spared you for selfish purposes looks like, I will oblige," with that, he reached up once more and grasped the mask. Before he coulld remove it however, his wrist snapped out and caught Kakashi's own, which had been moving to stop the action.

"Konoha ANBU code section twelve forbids the removal of one's identity while not within safe bounds," the cyclops said.

"Hatake, you seem to be under the impression that I am still officially under ANBU Code jurisdiction. As a matter of fact, I retired from the Black-Ops several years ago. Hokage-sama requested my skills for this support mission as a personal favor. If I wish to remove the cloak that is _Kage_ , I can." to emphasize his point, _Kage_ twisted the wrist in his grip and pushed the Copy-nin away.

"I... I had no idea that those circumstances existed. I apologize."

"Kakashi, weren't you an ANBU Captain?" Zabuza asked with a quirked brow muscle as he rose unsteadily. "Shouldn't you still technically outrank him?"

" _Kage_ was only a regular ANBU in technicality. In actuality he was the first choice to become ANBU Commander for Konoha," several gasps followed Kakashi's statement. "He declined the position on the grounds that there were more experienced and qualified members in the force. Even though he never became a captain, _Kage_ is potentially more lethal than the Hokage, because he is utterly without any emotion or remorse. _Kage_ is... _was_ one of the best definitions of 'Shinobi' that exist."

"Thank you for the unneeded spiel about my abilities, Hatake," with that, the mask was removed and the dull brown hair jumped like it had been electrocuted and began sticking out in all directions, while suddenly being revealed to be a blond brighter than the sun. Sakura gasped in utter shock, drawing a grimace from the boy.

"Surely you had to have seen this coming, Haruno. Your theoretical test score and intelligence were almost Nara level. How could you not have pieced this together? Your teammate goes on 'separate training' and you suddenly have an ANBU shadow? And people call me dense." Naruto turned to Haku and Zabuza and bowed a bit formally. "Sarutobi-Uzumaki Naruto at your service, Momochi- san and Haku-san. I'm afraid though that I must divest you of all weapons, previous affiliatory items, and personal effects until such a time as the Interrogation squad can guarantee that you will not attempt to betray Konohagakure no Sato." Haku seemed shocked that the boy who seemed only a year or so younger than her was making demands, and Zabuza growled and gripped Kubikiribocho's hilt.

"No-one takes my sword," he snarled, only to find twelve Katana blades suddenly rested on his shoulders in six identical scissor-cut formations, courtesy of Naruto and five Shadow Clones no-one had noticed.

"The alternative is for me to kill you, and save your head and sword as bounty items to return to the Mizukage." Zabuza grimaced, but held out his sword slowly as if it physically hurt him. "Thank you," came the deadpan as the five clones _poofed_ from existence and the original took the blade and hefted it over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing. "All items shall be returned to you as soon as it is determined that you will not betray your new village. Jounin Sekazu, divest Momochi-san of all weapons, hidden or otherwise, and take his headband. Genin Haruno," Sakura jumped at being addressed once more. "Search Haku-san. _Thoroughly_." the pinkette moved to do just that as Haku opened her arms to the sides to make it easier, but never taking her chocolaty eyes from the blond who was so in command of the situation that an _Elite Jounin_ was jumping to fulfill orders given.

Kakashi, meanwhile sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What am I going to do with you, Naruto?"

"There's nothing you CAN do. Officially, I'm not even here. And mister Tazuna," everyone turned to find the forgotten bridge builder deathly pale and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. Naruto tossed a scroll to him, very slowly, for him to catch. "In that scroll you will find all of Gato's moneybooks and records, as well as his personal journal. Now, I recommend we all head to your house for a night's rest before we all return to our village. You should be more than safe, considering the man who was gunning for your head on a plate is now a pile of ash and a disconnected head." Tazuna nodded jerkily and moved slowly around the teen to lead the now relatively larger group of extremely deadly Chakra users.

"A question, if I may Sarutobi-san," Haku said hesitantly, but she noticed the blond tilt his head ever so slightly and perk his right ear back to hear. "You are obviously very strong, and you mentioned the surname Uzumaki. Why didn't you use Chakra suppression seals on Zabuza-sama and myself?" the response she got was a bark of laughter.

"Check your right earlobe." her slim fingers flew to said part and began twiddling, until she felt a tiny piece of paper. "Go ahead and remove it, there are three others." she did just that, and slowly unfolded the many-times-bent sheet of sealing paper to show an extremely complex seal that made no sense. She cocked her head to the side in confusion and felt both Konoha Jounins looks at it over her shoulder.

"This doesn't look like a suppression matrix," commented Kakashi.

"It's not," said the blond. "It's a reversal matrix."

"A what now?" Jozun said, scratching his stubble.

"It's a level eleven seal I made myself." Kakashi stumbled and stared with his one eye.

" _YOU JUST_ _ **MADE**_ _A_ _ **LEVEL ELEVEN SEAL**_ _AND ARE TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE YOU WOULD THE WEATHER?!_ "

"Yes."

"What's the big deal?" Sasuke asked, falling back to look at the complex ink strokes.

"Sasuke, there are only Ten levels of Sealing. It has a different ranking system than any other Shinobi art, and as soon as you hit level Eleven, it's declared a Kinjutsu instead of Fuinjutsu." the Uchiha's eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he gaped at the blond.

"Close your mouth, Uchiha. I've been studying Fuinjutsu for going on three years now." Jozun actually tripped on his own feet at that news. He quickly recovered, but still.

"Only three years?! Are you fucking kidding me?! It takes twice that to even reach level four!"

"I'm an Uzumaki, Sekazu."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"You guys really are idiots," Zabuza said as the group finally reached the two-story house. He sat on the front porch steps. "The Uzumaki were, sorry ARE," he said with a nod to his blond captor. "The strongest and most feared Clan in all of the Elemental Nations."

"But, the Uchiha's were the strongest, right Sasuke-kun?"

"Sakura, seriously. Shut. Up." Jozun hissed as Naruto snapped his eyes, which he had been keeping closed for the entire time his mask was off, open and glared at the girl with his _Rinnegan_. Haku looked at the purple orbs with interest, but Zabuza turned even paler.

"Holy fucking ,sdjvndxbhfsjlznbc on a crutch. Is that..."

"The legendary _Rinnegan_ as wielded by the Rikoudo Sennin? Yes. And Haruno, the Uchiha, while strong," Naruto said with a tiny nod to his male teammate. "Were nothing compared to the Uzumaki. Sealing is in our blood. We take to it like fish to water."

"But they had the _Sharingan!_ Beat that!"

"Not only do I have literally the best Doujutsu ever conceived, but somewhere in that direction," he turned and gestured in a general westernly direction. "Lies the remains of Uzushiokagure. The Uzumaki had their own Hidden Village, Haruno. And hidden in those ruins are the Uzumaki Archives, wherein lies the total accumulated knowledge of over twenty generations of Uzumaki in Fuinjutsu, Nin, Tai, Gen, Ken, and Kin jutsus, they had scrolls for survival, household activities, child care, medicine, traps. The list goes on Sakura." everyone noticed that Naruto's voice had gradually gotten softer, but it only clicked when he said Sakura's first name, whereas he had previously addressed everyone formally and on a last-name basis unless he didn't know their last name.

"Somewhere over that ocean, across a ring of riptides and whirlpools, an island exists that holds all that remains of my legacy. The Uzumaki could do anything, beat anyone. All they needed was five minutes tops and some sealing paper. At all times, Uzumaki homes were lined with Fuinjutsu to block any form of spying, including the Hyuuga _Byakugan_. Their Shinobi got seals tattooed on their flesh that negated the memorization abilities of the _Sharingan_ by wildly fluctuating a small amount of Chakra to make it all distort."

"If they were so great, how come they're all _gone?!_ " the girl screeched, causing Naruto to stiffen from what had slowly become a comfortable slouch.

"A combined force of over twenty thousand Shinobi from Iwa, Kiri, and Kumo assaulted the village. For all their might and reputation, active duty Uzumaki numbered only about a tenth of that, at their peak."

"He's right. Twenty thousand against two thousand seems good odds, no?" Zabuza said. The younger ones nodded agreement. "But what the allied force neglected to think about was that even civilian Uzumaki learned seals. Demolition, storage, they could make all their own. What was intended to be a two-day pincer attack and move on to Konoha from behind turned into three months of hell."

"How many of my kin did your blade claim?" Naruto asked calmly.

"None. I didn't have Kubikiribocho at the start.. I was a Genin at the time. I played messenger, and even when I got the blade, I didn't manage any kills."

"I leave the telling to you for your first-hand experience, Momochi-san," with that, Naruto strolled away into the woods. Everyone gathered, including Tazuna and his family, who had come back outside after none of the others entered the house.

"My story? Then I tell it my way, Kakashi I need my Chakra, can you get rid of the seals?"

"What for?"

"A non-harmful Genjutsu to show you my memories as I tell them." Kakashi _hmm_ ed and went about locating all the 'reversal seals' on the Nukenin. Twleve in all. He unfolded one and began studying it to his limited knowledge as Zabuza started molding.

"Holy shit... this wouldn't have stopped your Chakra! As far as I can tell, it would have absorbed, amplified, and then _reversed it_. It would have _literally_ burned you to a crisp with your own Chakra had you tried to use any... that kid scares me..."

"Right, on to the story," Zabuza said as he finished the long sequence of hand seals on the group. "It all started as soon as we breached the riptides..."

 **Flashback-Genjutsu**

 _"Sir, the front line reports we have broken through the whirl ring and are advancing on the Island in a moment," a young Zabuza Momochi said as he knelt in front of the Jounin Commander of Kirigakure._

 _"Don't look so disappointed, Momochi. I'm quite sure the 'Demon of the Bloody Mist' will get his fair share of combat."_

 _"Hai." the imposing man returned to hunching over the table of the assault ship with the Commanders of Iwa and Kumo._

 _"Okay, if Iwa uses mass Doton strikes here," he pointed at a spot on the map of Uzushio. "It should break the seals and the wall. According to our...friend below decks, that is the weakest point in the structure."_

 _"How reliable is this info?" asked the Kumo Commander._

 _"Considering the prisoner IS an Uzumaki, we can be fairly certain it's accurate. And all it took was three weeks of torture..."_

 _"Only three? Can't Uzumaki stand up against torture for months?"_

 _"Not when you threaten small animals. They all have a weakness for small animals for some reason. And, oddly, that noodle dish that was made about twenty years ago."_

 _"That Ramen stuff?"_

 _"Yeah. It was all he asked for the first six days. And he could put it away, too." the three Jounin went on planning and discussing the attack as the young 'Demon' walked away. After that message delivery, he was to guard the Uzumaki prisoner. It took him a few moments to get to the right place, but he got there and relieved the previous guard. He faced the cell in curiosity._

 _"A child? They have a child guarding me? How insulting," came the tired voice of a slim man sitting on a cot with a fluffy white rabbit on his lap, his right hand stroking it softly. He was unnaturally thin, and his once obviously resplendent robes hung from his frame in tatters. His crimson hair hung to his neck in uneven shocks, and it didn't appear to have been washed recently, his violet eyes bored into the young Genin as he continued petting the small animal._

 _"Be quiet, old man. I'm more than enough for the likes of you." the Uzumaki barked a laugh, confusing Zabuza._

 _"So much disrespect! At least the other one recognized me as a threat, even as a prisoner."_

 _"Your Chakra is suppressed, you haven't been fed in a week, and you're chained to the ship wall. How could you possibly be a threat?" the brash, cocky boy said with a haughty smirk. The Uzumaki merely smiled and leaned against the wall behind him, closing his eyes._

 _"You, like so many others, greatly underestimate the Uzumaki, Momochi Zabuza." the boy stiffened._

 _"How do you know my name?"_

 _"Word of your... 'feat' in Kiri spread far an wide, young one. While reprehensible, it was impressive nonetheless. But, we Uzumaki treasure our comrades and family above all else, so we especially frown upon your actions. Coincidentally, my niece, who is some years older than you, heard of your decision and has vowed to find you and beat the tar out of you for killing your comrades. The humorous side of that is that her boyfriend, a fine young man from Konoha, our ally, had to stop her from doing just that."_

 _"Why are you telling me this? I don't care."_

 _"You should. Once one draws the ire of Uzumaki Kushina, there is really no hope for them." Zabuza's eyes widened in shock._

 _"You're the uncle of the Red Hot-Blooded Habenero?!" the man had the audacity to smile whimsically._

 _"We will never let her live that nickname down. But yes, her father is my younger brother."_

 _"But isn't she like," Zabuza tried to remember the Bingo Book entry. "in her late twenties or something? You'd have to be at least fourty!" the man cocked his head to the side._

 _"Yes,what's your point?"_

 _"You look twenty-five!"_

 _"Yes, what's your point?" Zabuza grabbed his head like he had a sudden headache and leaned against the wall opposite the cell. "Boy, you really do know nothing about us. Uzumaki can live far longer than most people. Our oldest recorded lifespan was my grandfather, Arashi. He lived for one hundred and seventy-six years. True, he could barely move he was so shriveled, but still. Our greater lifeforce causes us to age slower."_

 _"Why exactly are you telling me all this? The only thing I can really use is that you're related to one of our biggest threats." the man laughed openly, a sound that evoked the image of a river in the forest._

 _"Child, before Kushi-chan even hears of my imprisonment, I'll either be dead or free. So that's a moot point. What you SHOULD be worried about is your own safety in this war on my family, who might I add, did nothing to provoke this assault."_

 _"You exist, you pose a threat. We had to act."_

 _"Ah, so it's a case not of what we HAVE done, but what we COULD do. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. We were more than content to sit behind our walls and allow you five 'Great Nations' to fight each other. We remained neutral, and attacked no-one, and yet three Hidden Villages felt the need to band together to destroy us for our Fuinjutsu Prowess, and the possibility it could be turned on them."_

 _"Are you going somewhere with this?"_

 _"I am going nowhere, Sharu, here, however will be leaving shortly."_

 _"Sharu? You named the bunny?"_

 _"Now, look here you brat!" came a slightly squeaky voice. "I am a RABBIT! Bunnies are smaller!"_

 _The Uzumaki sighed. "Sharu, you were supposed to remain quiet."_

 _"Like hell!" the white rabbit suddenly stood up on two legs, revealing that it was a summon. "I will not sit here and be insulted like this!"_

 _"Uh... but... you... how..." The man grinned and held up his wrists, which were free from the shackles._

 _"Did you really think your Village's fumbling attempts at Fuinjutsu would stop an Uzumaki? Sharu, return to my brother and inform him of the latest news." the rabbit bowed and vanished in a puff of smoke. The crimson haired man turned to the boy through the bars. "Now, let your war begin."_

 _Zabuza turned to scream up the stairs, but the ship was rocked by a powerful explosion on the side, nearly blowing him to his back. He turned and saw the 'prisoner' calmly walking out of a hole in the side of his cell, and walking on water to a small group of three other people who were obviously Uzumaki._

 _"Greetings, sister. It's about time you decided to come get me. Let us return to Uzu with all haste." with that, the man turned around once and gave a two-finger salute to the eyebrowless boy, then vanished, along with the three others._

 _**One month later**_

 _Zabuza panted as he finally reached the command tent of the allied force. He'd been sent to scout, and was almost spotted._

 _"Momochi, report!"_

 _"Sir, they've doubled patrols, and they caught one of the scouts."_

 _"Damn... we need to hurry the hell up and kill them! It's bad enough they knew we were coming and ambushed us on the water! Is there any progress on that tunnel we discussed?"_

 _The Iwa commander nodded and pointed to a spot on the map. "We're almost half-way under the village. If we keep up this pace, we'll be through in a week at the longest." the Kiri Jounin growled and smashed his fist to the table._

 _"That's still too long. We need to be through by tomorrow."_

 _"What? Why?"_

 _"The Six Swordsman are coming in tomorrow evening. Mizukage-sama felt we would need the back-up after my last report."_

 _"Six, sir? I thought we had Seven Swordsman," Zabuza said. He hadn't been dismissed yet. His leader waved._

 _"The Kubi's wielder fell, and the others haven't found a replacement yet." Zabuza stiffened._

 _"Akano-sama died?"_

 _"I forgot he was your teacher... yes, he's dead. He was running a strike op into Hi no Kuni and ran into the Yellow Flash." Zabuza sat down hard, taking in that fact. His mentor was dead, and the Seven Swordsman of the Mist were down one. Contrary to popluar belief, Momochi Zabuza did have feelings, he was human. He just hid it so he could remain a Shinobi. He hadn't killed nearly four hundred graduates to quit now._

Sensei is dead... sensei is dead, and the Kubikiribocho is unwielded... wait, the Headcleaver has no butcher to swing it... _here, a maniacal grin ripped his young face._ Then who better than the Demon of the Bloody Mist? Who better than the Protege of it's previous user?

 _"Sir, I'd like to request permission to try wielding Akano-sensei's blade." the man snorted._

 _"You're too young and too small. You couldn't grip it."_

 _"One never knows," came a grating voice from the tent flap. "The Seven Blades have been known to adjust themselves for their chosen wielder." all present snapped to attention as six very imposing men entered, with various blades on each. The most noticeable was a tall blue man that looked vaguely shark-like and had a massive wrapped blade on his back. He turned to a man with two separate swords on his hips._

 _"Whatcha think, Raiga? Could he give it a shot?"_

 _"Maybe so, Kisame. But if Kubikiri rejects him, he will have a most splendid funeral!" the shark man, Kisame rolled his eyes, then pulled out a scroll from his weapons pouch. He tossed it between his hands for a second, then to the young man._

 _"I thought you were supposed to arrive tomorrow!" said the Kiri commander._

 _"We made better time than we expected," said the man who had originally talked, the one who had a blade on his hip that looked like a big sewing needle._

 _"Might want to take it outside, squirt. Kubi has always been tempermental." Zabuza caught the scroll with reverence, and bowed to the man._

 _"Thank you, Hoshigaki-sama." he then stalked outside, and opened the scroll. A large Chakra surge blasted forth, and a giant blade that looked like a massive cleaver spat forth. Zabuza caught it and hefted it with some difficulty. Then, agony._

 _He screamed as a foreign Chakra surged into his arms and torso, bringing him to his knees. Kisame whistled._

 _"Shouldn't he be dead by now?"_

 _"I. WILL. NOT. SUBMIT!" the young man roared as he forced himself to his feet and hefted the blade above his head, then drove it into the ground, point first. He growled at it. "You are mine, not the other way around." with those words, the blade shrunk somewhat to a more manageable size for the young teen. He panted as the pain left his muscles._

 _"Nice! Crude and suicidal, but it got it done. Just be glad it was Kubikiribocho, and not any of the others," Kisame commented, patting his own blade handle. "Especially Samehada here, she would've ate you whole." the new Swordsman pulled his sword from the ground and swung it around in a few motions he remembered his Sensei doing. It was incredibly light and maneuverable._

 _His face split into a cruel smile._

 _"Lets go."_

 _**About two months after that**_

 _Zabuza grunted as he blocked ANOTHER series of slashes from the Katana of the man he faced, whom he recognized as the 'prisoner' from the beginning of the assault. All he could do was defend, and he was still getting sliced to ribbons._

 _"Ah, young Momochi-san. Such a pleasure to discover another Swordsman on the field of battle!" the Teen growled in anger at the man's casual tone as he blocked a stab, which almost went through the hole in his blade._

 _"I'm not just some swordsman! I'm one of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist!" the man faltered and stared at him with a blank expression, then laughed, sheathing his blade._

 _"You think having one of the seven Mist blades makes you one of the Seven Swordsman? No, you earn that title through your deeds, young one. Kibikiribocho may have submitted to you, but you have not mastered it!" Zabuza growled again and swung at his foe, only to be shocked when the crimson-haired man jumped over his swipe, and grabbed the blade in the hole-grip in the middle. He was doubly astonished when he no longer found the sword in his grip._

 _Now, his foe was holding HIS sword as though it was an everyday occurrence, spinning it like a large Fuma Shuriken._

 _"Boy, you forget the history of these blades. We Uzumaki FORGED them as peace-offering to Kiri, and how do you repay us? By using our creations against us. I sensed Kubikiri and Samehada's sadness the instant the entered Uzu."_

 _"Wh-what?"_

 _"Yes, I personally forged Sharkskin and the Head Cleaver."_

 _"These swords were made over forty years ago!"_

 _"Boy, did you learn nothing from our last talk? I am nearly seventy-six. I know this sword better than any other. Now let me show you what it truly means to wield Kubikiribocho!" Zabuza didn't have time to be stunned, because he was busy dodging the swirling blade. Without removing his hand from the large center hole, the Uzumaki was spinning it exactly like a Fuma Shuriken, the blade tip and hilt alternating trying to decapitate and brain the young man. With one final swipe, the Uzumaki released the blade with an around-the-back flourish and whipped it at the 'Demon of the Bloody Mist', before running after it and grabbing the hilt mid-spin, then turned with the momentum, and did a hurricane slash. Zabuza closed his eyes, sure he was dead, only to find himself pinned to a nearby wall, the half-circle indent on the back of the sword around his neck, the blade stuck into the wall. He looked after this assailant, to find him kneeling on the ground, coughing up blood._

 _"Kubikiribocho," he panted. "Is not a simple weapon, Momochi. Learn that well. The Executioner's Blade is not for true combat, but interrogations and surprise attacks." with that, the Uzumaki fell to the ground, and Zabuza saw that his back was shredded, courtesy of Hoshigaki Kisame who stood behind him with a wriggling, unwrapped Samehada._

 _"I'm sorry, my beloved son, that I could not save you," he whispered through the blood running from his pale lips onto the flagstones._

 _"I thank you for the blade, Akisa-san," Kisame whispered with a sharp-toothed grin. "Die with the knowledge it lives up to it's potential."_

 _"Kisame," the now-named Uzumaki Akisa said with difficulty. It was obvious he didn't have long. "You will serve the Uzumaki. My son Nagato will see to that. Sweet Samehada," the sword writhed and flexed, angling towards the man, making something akin to a sad keen. "Always remember your purpose, Sharkskin." with those final words, the red-head fell silent and stopped moving all together. Kisamew walked over and ripped Kubikiribocho from the wall before handing it to Zabuza._

 _"Fall back, Momochi. We'll handle the rest."_

 _"...Hai."_

 _**Two hours later**_

 _It had taken him quite a while, seeing as he had to avoid everyone after witnessing a civilian family run into a crowd of Shinobi, before blowing themselves to smithereens with explosive tags, but Momochi Zabuza finally escaped the city walls of Uzushiogakure._

 _"I.. can't belive they blew themselves up," he said to himslef, only to find an Iwa Chuunin next to him, trying to catch his breath._

 _"Crazy... bitch! Either they really don't want to... be prisoners... or they're just insane!" this panted exclamation was followed by a small girl with red hair and purple eyes stumbling from the rubble._

 _"Mommy?" she called fearfully. The Iwa man smiled maliciously and grabbed the girl by her hair._

 _"Your momy's dead, brat, but don't worry, Iwa will find some use for you. We could always use those Uzumaki genes!" the way he said it made Zabuza shiver, but the Child's response did much worse. She smiled._

 _"I know mommy's dead. We learn from the time we can walk not to let ourselves be captured. We know your sick traditions with female prisoners," the Chuunin barely had time to react before six paper bombs went of simultaneously, disintegrating both of them. Zabuza was in shock as the flames licked his chest._

 _He'd just witnessed a girl no older than six, a child, commit a kamikaze attack so as to avoid being raped. He'd just watched a CIVILAN CHILD wipe out a Chuunin._

 _Now he knew the strength of the Uzumaki._

 _He felt bad for the rest of the allied force._

 **End Flashjutsu**

"All told, Uzushio was wiped from the map, and every Uzumaki killed, with a very few escaping and scattering to the wind, but we lost over eighty percent of our forces. We didn't have the forces to attack Konoha at that point, so we retreated. A single clan cost us the war, and you say they were inferior, girl?" he said to Sakura, who was staring at the ground, shaking in fear.

"No, the Uzumaki clan was a name filled with dread to foes, hope to friends, and peace to neutral parties. They remained out of all non-forced hostilities and welcomed those who just wished to stop fighting, no matter their affiliation. So tell me, girl, can you honestly still say the Uchiha clan was better? No offense, ducky," he said to Sasuke, who nodded. "But the Uchiha were a bunch of distrusting warmongers. They frequently stole Jutsu from Allies and Enemies alike, indiscriminately. All in the pursuit of power. The Uzumaki..."

"The Uzumaki," came the dead voice of Naruto, causing everyone to snap around and see him leaning on a nearby tree. "Were the epitome of forgiveness and love. Despite the fact the Uchiha constantly tried to force them into things and were total assholes, they kept forgiving them. Uzumaki loved all their family, even distant cousins, such as the Uchiha and The Senju. Konoha to this day honors my clan," both Leaf Jounin pointed to the red spiral on their flak vests. "Or, the military does anyway. The Villagers spit in the face of everything they supposedly love, every hero they have. All because of a misplaced grudge against a child who did nothing. So next time, Haruno Sakura, don't be so quick to judge someone. Next time you see someone who doesn't fit in, you should ask yourself; are they different because of their own actions, or because of the hatred of others? I know what you thought when first we met, Sakura. You thought I would be a monster, all because of the Villagers you heard every day while with your mother. Instead of forming your own opinions, you went with the crowd, ostracizing me simply because the adults did it."

Sakura was quivering even more now, tears leaking from her eyes.

"You never stopped to consider my feelings. In your pursuit of Sasuke, you never once thought of what he wanted, or what he thought, you merely tried forcing yourself on him, like so many others. Well, it's time to wake up, Haruno. The wolrd will not conform to fit your ideals, or change because you want it to. If you're wondering why I'm the way I am, why I'm so strong, I have the answer for you. I didn't cry and wait for things to happen. I didn't EXPECT things. I worked for them. I trained every day for years until my bones cracked to attain the strength you see." Naruto walked over to her and knelt down in front of her, lifting his chin with his gloved finger, forcing him to look at him.

"I don't hate you, Sakura. I don't blame you for past prejudice. What I do blame you for is your unwillingness to change. You are so focused on the finish line that you forget to enjoy the race. You think there is one way in the world, and anyone who doesn't stick to it is to be shunned."

"Naruto-san," Zabuza said quietly. "If I may?" the blond nodded and stepped back.

"Haruno? Haruno-san, in my experience, weakness is a choice, just as hatred is a choice. Maybe instead of trying to please others, you should focus on pleasing yourself."

"I-" the pinkette finally began. "I'll try."


	29. Chapter 29: The Intermission

**Shigure Toshiro: Yes, I did. You'll also notice I moved Zabuza to getting the sword during Uzu's fall instead of years later. The beauty of Fanfiction, my friend, is that the continuity does not have to be exactly the same. In this timeline, Uzu fell around the middle/ tail end of the Third Great Shinobi World War, So Minato had already figured out and begun using the** _ **Hiraishin**_ **. I've also always liked the Idea the Uzumaki created the Mist Blades, so :P.**

 **HikariKurayami88: even though I know you won't be reading this chapter, thank you for correcting me, I do appreciate it as I was never quite sure. And I greatly appreciate your criticism, and respect your decision to not continue reading. I will now address your points for the readers who will continue.**

 **The first chapter up until the Genin test were not supposed to actually interplay or connect aside from being the same story, it was just showing different aspects of Naruto's life through the years at the Academy, and there will be plenty of lighthearted chapters later, as that is an integral part of the character, but even so, this is a story about a hardened killer, so yeah, it'll be pretty dark.**

 **I realize you probably read this much later, but when I had the poll up, the option was 'Fem! Haku.', which I announced when I took down the poll, so I did let y'all know.**

 **Chapter 29: The Intermission**

"You're all going to die. Gato is..."

"Gato is dead," the emotionless blonde cut off the boy who had started speaking. The boy looked utterly shocked under his fishing hat. "And everyone dies eventually, it's part of being human. We shinobi just put ourselves at higher risk of premature death, but we do so willingly to protect our village."

"Why? Why should you care? No-one cares about you," the boy replied with his same gloomy tone, causing every adult to freeze.

"Inari," Tazuna said slowly, identifying the boy. "Why don't you,"

"I realize that," came the blond's quiet response. "No one person could care for a monster, ne? So how about instead of focusing on one, we look at the whole, Inari. In the end, it doesn't even matter if no-one cares about me, because I protect the people I care about. I don't care if I matter to them or not, simply knowing they are safe is enough for me." The blue-eyed teen vanished, then reappeared behind the small boy, resting his hand on one shoulder.

"So how about you stop wallowing in your apparent loss, and realize they sacrificed themselves for you, you ungrateful brat." with that, he gave the boy a small push, forcing him off-balance and onto his knees. "Or, you can man up and try to fight me. If you win, I'll let you do whatever you want. If I win, you quit being a baby."

"Naruto..." Kakashi began in a dangerous tone.

"Can it. He thinks he's a big man, let him prove it." The blond stepped pout onto the grass and crossed his arms, planting his feet. "If he can force me to move my feet from this spot, I'll leave him be." Everyone was about to protest, but they were cut off by Inari rushing at Naruto, his fist raised and a scream ripping from his throat. Naruto merely watched as the boy ran at him and began beating on his chest with all his might, screaming and crying nonstop.

He felt each impact, but as no more than a mere tap on his trained physique. After twenty minutes, Inari's blows began to weaken, and finally, they stopped, the boy sliding to his knees with tears streaming down his face, his hands clutching the knees of the teen in front of him.

"How would you feel," he managed out through the sniffles. "If your father left you. If your stepdad died. How would you feel?!"

"I'll tell you a secret, Inari-kun," Naruto said softly, his eyes turning from hard and crystaline, to soft and gentle. His use of the affectionate shocked everyone. Naruto knelt down, resting his hand on the boy's shoulder, but his feet never moving.

"My father DID leave me. My father gave his life to protect my future. The man who adopted me, he is a great man, Inari, and if I lost him... if he died, I would be devastated, true. But more importantly, if he died for me, I wouldn't wallow in misery. I would rise above that crushing sadness, and be a man both my fathers would be proud of. Inari, the way of the world is never kind, and bad things happen to good people, but each time, it is a test."

"A test?" the boy asked quietly, wiping at his cheeks with the heels of his hands.

"Yes, Inari. Each time something bad happens, it's a test of your resolve, your faith, and most importantly, your heart. Your trials aren't meant to break you, Inari-kun, they are meant to mold you. The loss of your stepfather to Gato... I can't begin to understand that pain. I've suffered much, but never the death of my father. But, you must think of the times you had with him, the lessons he taught you. You must become someone he would be proud to call his son. Are you that someone right now?"

Inari remained quiet for some time, looking at the grass below his knees, before he spoke in a voice that sounded utterly ashamed.

"No."

"Then come with me," Inari looked up to see a black-gloved hand extended towards him, attached to the softly smiling face of Uzumaki Naruto. He reached up to grab it, and was hauled to his feet by the much stronger teen. "Sakura," the girl snapped to attention. "You'd better come too, there's something I want you both to learn today."

Sakura nodded shakily and rose, following the blond, who's face had once again become an emotionless mask, as he led the hatted boy into the woods. Ssasuke rose to go inside with both Tazuna and Tsunami, both of whom had been utterly forgotten, presumably to arrange the sleeping situation, Zabuza and the two Konoha Jounin just sat there, unsure what to do, and Haku... Haku decided to satisfy her curiosity, and followed the trio into trees.

 **Three miles away in a clearing**

"Sakura, take these," the blond held out four weights to the girl, who took them, and immediately was dragged down by their weight.

"How much do these weigh?!" she puffed out. The blond grinned.

"Now begins YOUR first test, Sakura. If you can lift those weights to shoulder-height you pass." the whiskered hero turned to Inari, who was fiddling with his fingers in a very Hinata-esque way.

"Stop doing that," Inari snapped his hands away from each other. "Always try to remain confident and calm, and do your best to avoid developing bad habits, Inari." the boy nodded. "I'm going to give you basic Shinobi instruction, Inari. I'll teach you enough to deal with any non-shinobi that might threaten Wave, and you are allowed to teach the other children in the country, but after that, it's up to you to decide if you want to continue."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"We'll get to that later. First, we're going to unlock you're Chakra. Chakra is the most basic element of Shinobi life. It combines both mental and physical energies. Sit down." the boy obeyed, and Naruto joined him, showing him the lotus position. "Sit like this," Inari adjusted his posture so one leg was horizontal over the other, and his fists were pushed together.

"Now close your eyes and focus on a warm feeling in your stomach. When you find it, imagine like it's a fish. Throw a line out to it and wait."

Inari remained quiet for several moments, but eventually spoke, his eyes still closed.

"How did you know I like to fish?"

"Inari, you live on an island nation, you have a dock at your house, and fish swim in the sea like birds swim in the air. It wasn't that hard to figure out. Now focus." the boy once more went quiet, as a look of concentration swept over his face. Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned into an hour before a sudden wave of power swept the area around Inari clear.

"Congratulations, Inari. You just unlocked your Chakra. With Chakra, you can do almost anything, but be warned," here, the boy gulped slightly as Naruto raised his finger. "Now that you can access this energy, if you ever get completely cut off from it, or it drops below a certain point, you will die. Chakra combines your knowledge, the mental energy, and your cells' power, the physical energy, into a potent mix. In order to use Chakra, you must convert some of your stamina into it, and focus it through hand signs. You can increase your Chakra reserves through training, both physical and mental, to be able to use more jutsus. Let's learn how to mold Chakra first, though." Naruto had Inari stand up and showed him the half-ram seal.

"Now try to channel it to your feet."

"My feet?"

"Yes, your feet. This is easier said than done, because the feet are some of the most difficult Chakra points to reach."

It took a few moments, but eventually, the boy managed to get some energy into the soles of his feet.

"Now, follow me," Naruto turned and walked right up to a tree, then walked UP the tree. Inari gaped at him for a moment, before cautiously placing one foot on the bark, which immediately slid down. "Try using more," the blond advised. Inari nodded and took a moment to channel more chakra to his feet, then took another step, which this time stuck. He took another tentative step up the tree, then another, and another. Finally, he was right below his teacher, however, he was visibly straining and sweating.

"Very good. Now, stay right there as long as you possibly can. If you fall, I'll catch you." Inari nodded and focused on staying where he was, which lasted all of a whopping twenty minutes, before he start falling, only for the blond to snap his hand out and catch the boys' wrist.

"That's better than I expected. Either you have amazing Chakra control without trying, or you have massive Chakra reserves for one your age. I'm inclined to believe a small mixture of the two." Naruto walked the boy down to the ground, then joined him. "Rest for a few moments to regain your energy. I'm going to check on Sakura." Inari slumped down between the roots of the tree as the Rinnegan wielder returned to his kunoichi teammate.

"How's it going?" the girl lifted once more, but the weights only came to about mid-thigh before she dropped them again.

"I... can't... lift them..." she panted, falling onto her back.

"Obviously, you can. Sakura, I want to show you something. Inari, come here a moment!" the boy rose and strolled over, only for the teen who summoned him to lean down and whisper in his ear. Inari nodded, then closed his eyes and grabbed the weights, pulling them easily to his shoulders, then opened his eyes once more, only for the hunks of metal to fall once more to the ground.

"Now, Inari, how did you lift those?" the boy shrugged.

"I was just focusing on my legs, like you said." Naruto nodded.

"Thank you, Inari. Go practice tree-walking for as long as you can. Try to reach the lowest branch and sit on it." the boy nodded, and scurried off to do his assignment.

"Sakura, follow Inari's example. _Don't focus on lifting the weights._ " Sakura looked confused, but appeared to try. She gripped the weights, then looked at her legs, which were sweaty and grimy.

"EWW! Why am I so gross right now?!" with that, the weights snapped up to her shoulders, and she appeared surprised, before they plonked back down like bricks in high gravity.

"Now, tell me why that worked." Sakura remained quiet for a moment.

"You put a seal on the weights that restricts movement if the holder is focused on them."

"Good. Now tell me the lesson." here, the pinkette looked utterly confused, causing the blond to sigh and rest his forehead in his hands. He slid his fingers down his face with a sigh. "The lesson," he grunted. "Was that the conventional method doesn't always work. You have to think of new ways to accomplish a goal as a Kunoichi. It was supposed to help your abstract thought processes." a look of comprehension appeared on the pinkette's face.

"Now go join Inari practicing tree-walking." Sakura looked like she was about to protest, then closed her mouth and went over to the boy, who quickly showed her how to do it when it became apparent she had no clue.

"Sometimes I wonder how some of our Genin even made it," Naruto sighed, leaning against the tree Haku was observing from. "Our Academy program isn't anywhere near as stringent as it once was, or as what it should be. I don't suppose you know anything about Kiri's?" the girl hummed quietly. "Didn't think so. I'm guessing you were trained exclusively by Zabuza?" she hummed again. The blond sighed, then slid into a sitting position. He remained silent for several minutes, watching Inari and Sakura exhaust themselves.

Then, Haku heard a pleasant sound fill the air, and found it originating from the teen below her. He was humming something. She listened to the tune, but couldn't place it, although it evoked the image of a peaceful beach. Then, he started singing softly to himself.

" _Oh, I hope to find a place/ A place to call my own/ A place to call my home/ Out where the ocean rolls._

 _The crash of the waves/ and the roll of the surf/ every way on every day/ on the island of my birth._

 _The sea, the sea, the sea calls to me/ my friend, you know, this is no trend, it's only my home/ if e'er I find this place I call home/ it's where I'll rest my bones._

 _The sweet siren song/ calls all day long/ out where the ocean rolls._ " Naruto stopped singing when he realized he'd been steadily getting louder, and his two 'students' had stopped to listen to his song. He rose and walked away.

"Come back to the house when both of you can reach half-way up the tree."


	30. Chapter 30: Deviation

**A/N: Look, this is called** **FANFICTION** **not MAKE IT EXACTLY LIKE THE ACTUAL STORY FICTION. If it was that, it'd be called fucking** **CANON** **. If you don't like the way I write, don't fucking read it, I couldn't care less.**

 **TigrezzTail: Yeah, sorry. My stories mostly somehow write themselves, so I don't even really know how things will go sometimes.**

 **On an other note, which might cause a few of you to groan in annoyance considering I have Five other stories to work on, but I am starting a Homestuck story. Please, I encourage you all to check it out, along with all my other stories.**

 **Chapter 30: Deviation**

"Who knew Naruto could sing?" Sakura said as she sat at the table with everyone else, Inari having just described the song the blond had sung. Sasuke looked at the girl, then at the young boy who had told the story.

"I doubt that very much. I've never heard Naruto sing, and I've interacted with him the most."

"No, it's true! He was singing something about the ocean!" Kakashi tensed slightly at that.

"The ocean?" Sakura nodded vigorously. "was one of the lines 'On the Island of my birth'?"

"Yeah! How'd you know that?" Inari asked, his eyes wide. Kakashi sighed tiredly and rubbed the heel of his hand against his visible eye.

"That was an Uzumaki lullaby. Kushi-nee sang it all the time when she was pregnant. I guess it makes sense the song would be chronicled in the Uzumaki scrolls in the Library."

"Uzumaki scrolls?" Jozun said questioningly. Kakashi nodded.

"Yeah, you know, the scrolls in the display case that no-one could open? The ones with the the intricate wave design?"

"Oh those! Damn, I remember when Kisa and I tried opening those. Didn't end well, let me tell you. Kisa broke three Kunai and a nail." the silver-haired jounin _hmm_ 'd in amusement.

"They were coded to Uzumaki DNA," came the quiet voice that had apparently become Naruto's norm, from the stairway.

"I still don't see what's so great about the Uzumaki, honestly," Sakura said. "I mean, sure, they were good at seals, but an Uchiha could learn those easily." Naruto almost snapped at her, but stopped, noting that not only was she actually correct, but she wasn't saying it snobbishly, but as a matter of fact. He sighed.

"They could learn quickly, yes. But the quick way, the _**Sharingan**_ , brings _knowledge_ , it does not bring _understanding._ If they just learn the seal by copying, then they know that one seal, not each component, or how to use each bit individually. The Uzumaki, from a young age, were trained intensively in _Fuinjutsu_ , and so had a deep understanding, so much so that it became ingrained in their blood. Seals are basically a _Kekkei Genkai_ to Uzumaki. On top of that, Sakura, how many people did it take to wipe out the Uchiha clan?"

"One?" Sakura supplied questioningly.

"And was he injured?"

"No... but he did it at night, when everyone was asleep."

"An excellent point. He caught them by surprise, but the fact remains; Itachi-nii-chan wiped out upwards of five hundred people without a scratch. The Uzu invasion, actually was technically a surprise, considering the Uzumaki had mere moments to prepare, and yet, what happened?"

"The Uzumaki were wiped out... at the cost of over five _thousand_ people. Trust me girl. As impressive as the Uchiha were, they couldn't hold a candle to the Uzumaki. I fought plenty of both, and truthfully? I'd rather fight an Uchiha," Zabuza put in, his face contorted slightly as he absently rubbed his leg.

 _Kurama, how about a demonstration of the Uzumaki Kekkei?_ A loud whine followed Naruto's mental request.

 _ **But kiiiiit! I don't wanna! I hate those things!**_

 _Kurama, I'm not using them against you. Hell, as soon as I can, I'm loosening the seal to give you more freedom, you idiot._ Kurama grumbled under his breath about stupid monkeys and rude demands.

 _ **Fine, but let the record state I release this upon the world once more with the utmost reluctance.**_

 _Duly noted._ Naruto waited a moment, before he felt a twinge in his muscular system, though it was nowhere near as painful as what he'd felt when he'd gotten his _**Rinnegan**_.

"Now, let's step outside for a proper demonstration, shall we?" everyone looked at him quizzically, and he flashed a feral grin, his purple-ringed eyes glinting. "I mentioned _Fuinjutsu_ was basically a Kekkei Genkai for Uzumaki? Well, it happens there's an actual one." Kakashi's eye widened greatly and his mouth fell open, visible even through his mask.

"You're shitting me." his answer was a hollow laugh. Naruto merely turned and stepped out the front door, followed closely by the Cyclops, piquing the interest of everyone else, and so they also followed.

"Jozun, your headband please." He waited a moment for the item, then made a quick mental exchange with his tenant.

 _How do I actually use these things?_

 _ **Visualize your Chakra manifesting as chains. Kushina did it quite often and I looked through her memories because I was so bored.**_

 _Thanks._

 _ **Hmm**_. Naruto tossed the Hiate-ate lightly, then used his _Rinnegan_.

" _Shinra Tensai!_ " The metal plate went flying, causing Jozun to bark out a complaint, only to fall silent as blood-red chains shot from the blonds' outstretched hand and wrapped haphazardly around the cloth, then whipped it back so fast it impaled the dirt at the Jounins' feet, causing the man to blanch. Naruto frowned at the chain. It waved shakily, then slowly curled around his body, which everyone noticed was coated in a light sheen of sweat.

"You're _tired?"_ Sasuke asked in shock. Naruto flicked his eyes momentarily to the Raven-haired teen, causing his new toy to dissolve as he cursed.

"The Uzumaki Physical Chakra... Ho-ly shit..." Zabuza whistled out. Naruto turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"I saw a few Uzumaki use it during the Uzu invasion. Some were making swords or shields, other were making chains, or bow and arrows. The chains are the only widely known because the Bloody Red-Hot Habenero used them during the third war. It's actually not restricted to chains. You can manifest your Chakra physically in any inanimate form you choose." Naruto's eyebrows shot up to his hairline at this news. Then he focused intently on his hand for a few moments, when a Katana appeared in his grip, just as red as his previous manifestation. At this point, however, he was huffing slightly for breath.

"Kushi-nee said when it first happens, it's pretty Chakra intensive, and takes getting used to, even for someone with reserves as large as yours," Kakashi put in succinctly, his visible eye boring into the blond, who merely shrugged.

"I'll add it to my training regime. I still need to practice with my _Rinnegan_ anyway." Here, Zabuza got a manic look in his eye.

"Need a sparring partner?" Naruto looked at him skeptically. "What? I've faced someone with the _Rinnegan_ before. Almost died, but I faced the guy."

"You... what?"

"Yeah, the leader of Amegakure. Kept going on and on about Pain and a Cycle of Hatred or something and he wore this stupid black and cloak, but he was stronger than hell."

"...What color was his hair?" Everyone looked to the blond to see a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he reached forward and forcibly grabbed the taller man's bandage mask, forcing him down to eye level.

"Uh..."

"I said. What. Color. Was. His. Fucking. Hair." Zabuza began visibly sweating as he was forced to look the intense blonde in the eye.

"It was bright orange!" he stumbled back as he was released, falling on his ass.

"Kakashi!" the silver-haired man snapped to attention. "Take everyone here and get back to Konoha at fastest speed. Tell Hokage-jiji I needed to run a... _personal errand_. And to send Jiraiya to Ame as soon as he can. Inari!" the boy jumped in fright. "You are going with them, to continue your Shinobi training." Tsunami opened her mouth to protest, but was stopped by a scathing look from the blond who had so quickly taken charge.

"Either he goes and gets trained, or he dies the first time he tries fighting someone. Your choice." she snapped her mouth shut, looking torn between letting go of her child so soon and being protective, which she was used to. Naruto didn't stop to find out, because he blurred away as fast as possible, leaving everyone stunned.

"Wha... what the fuck just happened?" Jozun asked, to which everyone shrugged. Kakshi shook his head.

"Whatever just happened, we have to get moving. I'm not going against a direct order. Let's go everyone!" he said with false cheer, corralling the two Nukenin and the young boy and leading them away, leaving the Genin and the other Jounin to dazedly follow him.

 **With Naruto, already several miles from Wave Country, heading tot he center of the Elemental Nations**

"Motherfucking kami-damned..." Naruto growled to himself under his breath as he rocketed from tree to tree, enhancing his leaps with the orange Chakra of his Tenant.

 _ **You have GOT to be kidding me. We are not going there! We will be WHOOPED.**_

 _Don't care. Family._

 _ **You realize he's apparently trying to kill you according to Itachi?**_

 _Don't. Care. Family._

 _ **You're going to risk both of our lives on the off chance this guy will actually see reason and lay down his mission, because you're related? You ARE an idiot!**_

 _Don't. Care._

 _ **Family, yeah I get it! For fucks' sake, after so long trying to stay ALIVE, I get offed because of a kid who misses his mommy.**_ Kurama realized his mistake too late as Naruto froze instantly, his face contorting in rage.

 _ **Oh shi... Kit I didn't mean it!**_ His words were cut off as Naruto entered his mindscape and faced the diminutive fox inside the temple. Naruto had long ago figured out a way to give the Kyuubi as much freedom as possible, by morphing the chins that represented the seal into a simple ring, worn over the foxs' adorable little paw. The tiny thing was trembling slightly, apparently having forgotten he was much stronger than this child.

" **I didn't mean it!** " he suddenly found a muzzle on his snout, at which he pawed and grubled.

"I will not hear a word from you until this is over," the blond bit out, then left his mind, continuing his rapid movement.

 **Several hours later**

Naruto stood on the side of a building, adhering to the wall with Chakra, and looked at the two figures standing above him, parallel to his own body.

"You willingly come to us, Kyuubi holder? Do you wish to die?" asked the deep-voiced man, who had piercing all over his face, his bright orange hair dripping rain as he looked at the boy. The woman next to him, who Naruto idly noted was rather shapely and had a nice-looking face, except for the scowl etched into it, glared at the blond. He blue hair seemed to ignore the laws of physics and nature, as it was completely dry and the knot she had didn't appear to be affected by gravity.

"I seek no death, save for one embraced by the waves. I seek no sanctuary, save for the crash of the surf. If I die this day, let my body be carried by the tide to rejoin the storm and strengthen the Maelstrom I serve," Naruto said quietly, but loud enough to be heard over the constant drumming of the rain. The man's eyes widened at the words, and his mouth opened slightly. He seemed about to say something, but the woman had apparently had enough chit-chat and sprinted down the wall at the blond, forcing him to dodge a kick aimed at his head. What followed was hell for Naruto.

The woman alternated randomly between kicks and different punches, aiming at his head and chest, and he was hard-pressed to walk away uninjured. He took several blows to the stomach, each hit causing him to slid farther and farther towards the ground. He was about to jump to another building, when the woman he was 'fighting' (getting his ass-kicking from) blurred in front of him. His eyes widened, finally allowing his _Rinnegan_ to be fully seen, as he'd been squinting to keep the rain out of his eyes. The sight of his eyes seemed to enrage her further, and she planted a vicious kick into his abdomen, launching him to the ground, creating a crater several feet deep.

 _I can't keep up with her... I'm one of the fastest Shinobi in the Big Five, and this woman is beating me to a bloody pulp. How?_

"Konan," came the man's deep call. The blue-haired woman froze and looked back up at the man, who was walking down the side of the skyscraper. He bypassed her and went to the ground, looking at the blond from the rim of the hole.

"You seem surprised that an S-Ranked Nukenin is faster than you." Naruto grimaced as he rose unsteadily, coughing up some blood, before wiping it away with his sleeve.

"I've personally encountered only three people faster than I am, Oji-san," he panted, wiping more blood from his mouth. "One of them is the Yondaime Raikage, with his _Lightning Armor_ , The Sannin Jiraiya and a curious young man from Iwa are the other two."

"I am impressed my nephew is so confident in his speed, but the fact remains, you, a Jinchuuriki, willingly came to the proverbial wolves' den."

"I came for family, and would willingly die for such." the two stared at each other for several tense moments, their respective _Rinnegan_ searching each other. Finally, the man smirked and walked down the side to stand in front of the teen. He held out his hand.

"My name is Uzumaki Nagato." Naruto grinned as he shakily reached out and gripped the offered hand.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"Maelstrom. A fitting name for one born to the Main House of Uzumaki." Naruto shrugged slightly.

"I also enjoy the other meaning." Nagato guffawed.

"Yes, Ramen is a singular weakness we of Uzu share. Please, come up to my office and see me." Naruto quirked an eyebrow in question, causing Nagato to smirk again.

"This is not my body. I am controlling it to be my Deva Path."

"Ah. I forgot about the paths."

"Evidently." they were interupted by Konan splashing down next to them and slapping their still interlocked hands.

"Nagato! What are you doing!" the taller man turned a withering look on the bluenette.

"Greeting my family, Konan. We will discuss this further in my office." the woman opened and closed her mouth a few times, then nodded and turned away, gesturing angrily for the blond to follow her. It took ten full minutes of slogging, at a civilian pace no less, through rain, puddles, and mud for them to reach what was apparently their destination, at which point, the Deva Path body broke off to apparently go to an adjacent building.

As soon as he stepped into the lobby of the tall structure, he noted Konan was not only unaffected by the elements, but was glaring mightily at him.

"Don't drip on the carpet," she snipped. He just sent her a sideways look.

"Excuse the fuck out of me for not having mega thin wax paper to keep me from being covered in muck." she looked mildly surprised at his deduction. He just grinned and rubbed his nose slightly. She rolled her eyes in answer and began up the stairs.

"How many floors?"

"Twenty-nine."

"Yeah... fuck that." he began leaping off the walls, clearing all twenty-nine required floors on moments. Only to have the blue-haired she-devil appear next to him and smack him.

"You just got mud on the walls you fucking twit." Naruto shrugged and pushed open the doors in front of him, only to stop in shock at the sight that greeted him. This... was not what he was expecting.

"Yes, it is a bit much isn't it?" the man before him said, in a voice significantly deeper than Deva Path's. Before the blond teenager was the thinnest, saddest excuse for a man he'd ever seen. His ribs stuck out and his stomach was non-existant, his crimson hair hung in clumpy locks to his shoulders, and his face was so gaunt it looked like a bad painting. But from the waist down... he had a large mechanical set of four legs, giving him a slightly insect-like appearance, and his hands were wrapped into the setting, causing him to hunch over.

"What..." Naruto swallowed to wet his throat. "What happened to you?"

"War. War that ravaged my home of Amegakure. Every time the Five Great shinobi nations wage war, Ame is their battleground, and we get caught in the middle, forced to fight for our lives against a foe we cannot defend against. With every war, we lose loved ones, and our hate for the larger nations grow."

Naruto remained silent, his face becoming so stoic it was telling to his elder.

"You are from one of them." he got merely a nod, followed by the boy uncomfortably crossing his arms. "Which Village raised you to die for it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Konohagakure," the blond whispered. He felt rather than saw Nagato's rage at the statement.

"And how far have you gone for it?"

"Officially or realistically?" another wave of anger.

"Officially, of course."

"Officially, I am only a Genin, with some D-Ranks and a less than desirable Academy Record to my name."

"And Realistically?"

"Realistically, I was first choice for ANBU Commander. I have become feared throughout the Elemental Nations as _Kage_ , and have a flee-on-rumor order in all Bingo Books."

"To what end?"

"To protect the people I love." Naruto looked up to see Nagato looking startled at the response. "Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, and his son, Asuma, adopted me into their clan. I do nothing for Konoha. I do what I do for them, and my cousin, Konohamaru. The few friends I have gained were hard-won, and are well trusted. I have taken lives, but never for that damned Village. Why should I serve those who would hate me? I do nothing against them, unless in self defense, but I do nothing for them," Naruto cast a knowing look at the older man. "What would that accomplish? They will never accept me as one of them, and so long as they leave me be, I am content to do the same. Retaliation leads to more hate."

"An endless cycle of Hate..." Nagato whispered to himself, but loud enough to be heard. "So that is your answer to this vicious cycle? To live and let live? To ignore injustice?"

"No, never to ignore injustice. But to ignore _ignorance_ , Nagato-oji. If they break my arm, it will hurt, true, but what do I gain by getting revenge? They would just hate me even more and hurt me more. The cycle would continue endlessly. It serves no purpose. Forgiveness, I say, is the key. Forgiveness and love. Strength is a necessary component, yes, but if one focuses solely on love OR strength, then nothing is solved." the red-haired man stared at the teen before him contemplatively for a long while.

"It seems," he finally stated, his deep baritone voice filling the room, "that you are far wiser than your years, and far more perceptive than most people alive in the Elemental Nations today. Truly the Uzumaki are in great hands." Naruto cocked his head to the side in confusion, causing Nagato to chuckle. "You are the only living descendant of the Main Branch of Uzu. By rights, the title of Clan Head is yours. With Permission, Naruto-sama, I would give my service as a bodyguard." Naruto straightened.

"I think, Nagato-sama," the man frowned at the address. "That your abilities would be better served as Uzu's spymaster." Now, the purple-ringed eye visible around the crimson curtain widened. "I have for years had the singular purpose of rebuilding Uzushiogakure. The issue was finding other Uzumaki to help do so. Now, however, I have found one. And, given that you have made me Clan Head, my directive is for you to find more."

"And what of my Akatsuki?" Naruto paused and tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Re-purpose them. Have them atone for their crimes, that they can join Uzu as free men, and not wanted criminals." Nagato frowned once more.

"Not so many of them will wish to do so, and in truth, two or three answer to Madara."

Naruto's eyes gleamed with a playful mischief.

"I have plans for Madara," Nagato couldn't help but shudder at the hidden malice in the blonds' voice. "And what say have they when facing the might of TWO _Rinnegan?_ I need a bit of training in mine, true, but you are more than capable. When the time is right, we will give them a choice; Join Uzu and swear fealty to the Uzumaki, or be considered enemies of two of the most powerful people alive."

"They essentially already are, Naruto."

"Ah, but you see, when I  declare someone to truly be my ENEMY, it comes with the knowledge I will hunt them until they die. It goes against my fundamental beliefs, but in this case, several S-Ranked Nukenin are assured to have no-one left to truly mourn and avenge them."

Nagato regarded the teen with a new look.

"You are one devious little shit."

"I didn't become first choice for ANBU Commander based on my stunning good looks and charming personality."

"Clearly... speaking of, why AREN'T you ANBU Commander?"

"I turned it down. Too much paperwork for my underdeveloped teenage brain to deal with at the moment," Naruto turned his face to the side and crossed his arms, but his smug grin was all too visible.

"You just prefer action to sitting on your ass." the blond shrugged.

"That is also true."

"Very well, I will give the order to the others."


	31. Chapter 31: Back in the Village

**A/N: Awwww, I feel so loved!**

 **Foxy: To your first; because the inspiration for it beat me over the head. To your second; I agree. To your third; IDEK dude (I call everyone dude, so if you're a girl don't get offended plz) like I've said before, the stories just aggressively write themselves as long as there's feedback. It's fucking weird.**

 **Thor94: dude, Konan was beating the shit out of Jiraiya in Canon before Pain got involved. If she's fast enough (because the paper she uses is equal to her own speed) to nail Jiraiya to a wall, and Naruto admits that Jiraiya is faster than he is, wouldn't it stand to reason she's faster than Naruto? You can say a lot about my writing, but never let it be said that I disrespect logic.**

 **LavenderMYSTery: First, nice pen name. Second, yeaah, I realize it's disjointed, but I firmly believe someone's art reflects their state of mind, so I'm pretty fucked up, huh? For a full analysis of my twisted little brain without wanting to throw yourself from a thirtieth-story window (my fourth psychiatrist did that...) check out my Darksiders story "Redemption". So far, it explains like... two or three of my issues.**

 **TigrezzTail: she was trying to beat him unconscious, and considering jinchuuriki are notoriously hard to beat down, it was understandable.**

 **Codybob: My take on it was that because Naruto was affected by Kurama's chakra while inside Kushina, he had some Kyuubi DNA, and Kurama sensed it. Plus, the seal was cannonically designed to integrate Kurama's chakra into Naruto's own, effectively changing his DNA so he wouldn't be hurt by the corrosiveness. It made sense that Kurama would be able to alter Naruto's DNA for the better. To me, at least.**

 **SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan: First, yeah, I know, and I was ignoring them at first, but I was having a really bad week with those particular ones, so I lost my temper. Second, I know the initial ideas weren't that original, but I've always liked the idea, so I decided to make one, and being teamed with Itachi just for some reason makes sense. Third, I'm not really a fan of OC's either, but for some reason (as I've stated previously) my stories mostly write themselves, and the self-inserts just sort of happened. And honestly? When I do a self-insert (this is only my second), I base it on how I actually view myself, instead of how I want to be. Flaws are important for any character, in my opinion.**

 **Now, no-one has complained about how quickly Nagato changed his views after listening to Naruto. Good. Literally, the EXACT same thing happened in Canon. Foxy also asked me how he knew Nagato was family from just hearing about him, and I really don't have an explanation. Gut instinct? The Uzu scrolls? Who the fuck even knows? I'm just the physical medium for the shit.**

 **Chapter 31: Back in the Village**

"Naruto-sama, you should know,"

"Nagato, I'm thirteen, not thirty, stop with the 'sama'." Nagato frowned.

"It's impolite to address one's clan head informally." Naruto shrugged.

"Far as I care, a clan is just a massive family. Family are allowed to address each other informally."

"The Sarutobi clan must love that," Konan shot from the corner, where she was still glaring distrustfully at the blond.

"Actually, the Sarutobi believe it to be true as well. We've always been informal to each other." Konan's jaw dropped. "Anyway, what did you want to tell me, Nagato?"

"One of our previous members,"

"Orochimaru of the Sannin."

"Yes, him. He had one of ours under his thumb apparently. He seemed a great braggart, and likely to exaggerate greatly or even outright lie, but I believe it's worth investigating." Naruto stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Judging from the fact that he stole the Kusanagi from Kusagakure, that seems the most likely option. Have someone check it out."

"Hai," Nagato said respectfully. "But he was talking about a direct subordinate. I suspect one of his Elite Guards?"

"Damn... alright, see if you can find anything on them as well." Nagato nodded.

"One of my Akatsuki has a spy within Orochimaru's ranks. I'll ask him." Naruto nodded, then clicked his tongue.

"I should be heading back to Konoha soon. I'm sure Jiji will be waiting to tear me a new one."

"Why?"

"Oh, I convinced a A-Rank Nukenin to join Konoha. I'll probably amend the invitation at some point, but for now, It's Konoha."

 **Konoha, The Hokage's Office**

"Why do I get the feeling this situation has 'Uzumaki Naruto' written all over it?" Hiruzen sighed as Kakshi walked in without said blonde, but with three other people, one of whom was a registered Nukenin, trailing in behind him.

"Because it does," smirked Jozun as he guided Inari to the side.

"These three, plus the two my ANBU found earlier this week..."

"Two? Who were they?" Kakashi asked in mild interest.

"The Demon Brothers, probably," Zabuza snipped.

"You are correct, Momochi. I suspect Naruto-kun gave you the same option?"

His answer was a nod as he sighed tiredly.

 **Back in Ame**

"Only you..." Nagato sighed. "Who was it?"

"Hm? Oh, Momochi Zabuza."

"The Demon of the Bloody Mist?"

"The same. Funny, isn't it? Now, I have two of the Seven Mist Swordsman under my thumb..."

"Yes, it is slightly amusing. Now, if you must go, I should return to this paperwork. Running a Village isn't as easy as it seems."

"Alright. Later," Naruto said as he turneed and left, waving his hand over his shoulder. He sensed Konan following him. "I'm sure I can make it to the border without an escort, Konan-san." the woman growled, but returned to her seat.

Naruto was grinning as he left thee building, back into the rain. He made immediately for the border, at his fastest speed, heading back to Konoha. He also mentally removed the muzzle from Kurama.

 _ **Okay, next time, I'm biting you.**_

 _No, you aren't. You did kind of deserve it._

 _ **Whatever. Anyway, now what?**_

 __ _Now, we have a week of down time before people start pouring in for the Chuunin Exams._

The blond traveled in silence until he made it to Konoha, the gates standing open. He made his way to the check-in station.

"You're back already? Thought you were gonna be gone until next week," Kotetsu said. Naruto shrugged.

"Meh, I got bored." the gate guard smirked, then waved the blond through. He didn't make it ten feet before he was almost squished by mayhem.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Kiba screamed as he ran by, followed closely b y an irate-looking Ino and Hinata.

"PERVERT! GET BACK HERE AND FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN!" Hinata, to Naruto's surprise, shouted after the Inuzuka. He'd never seen the bluenette get mad before. Irritated, yes. Visibly angry? no. Ino stopped when she saw Naruto, and smiled at him sweetly.

"Naruto-kun, could you catch Kiba for us?" Hinata also stopped at the suggestion and looked at the male blond with wide, begging eyes. Naruto almost flinched. Almost.

"Okay, first, Hinata, I have the begging eyes on lock, they won't work against me," the girl snapped her fingers in disappointment. "Second, what did he do to make you two angry?"

"He grabbed Hinata's boob. He said it wan accident, but Shino agrees that it wasn't, then he smacked my ass as he ran away." Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment, before he vanished in a gust of wind, and reappeared almost instantly, Kiba being held by his jacket collar.

"Dude... I thought we were friends!"

"We are."

"Then why?!"

"There's a fine line between bro code and suicidal diversions, Kiba. Two pissed Kunoichi is where I draw it."

"It's not like you couldn't take both of them!"

"That's beside the point, you idiot. I generally try to avoid having women angry at me, regardless of whether or not they can kick my ass. Ever here the phrase 'Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned'?" Kiba whimpered as the two teenage girls smiled menacingly and cracked their knuckles. Naruto didn't feel any sympathy for him.

"Enjoy yourselves, girls. But make sure he's fit enough for training later," here, not only Kiba, but the girls blanched as well, before Naruto tossed him lightly towards the two and continued on his way. He heard behind him the pained screams of a young man going through possibly the worst torture ever, and he grinned.

 _ **Kit, you once had six Kunoichi pissed at you at once. Six Jonin-level Kunoichi.**_

 _That wasn't my fault, Jiraiya directed the blame on me by acting like he was dropping a_ _henge_ _when he was putting one on._

 _ **Oh, yeah. I forgot that point.**_ Naruto was grinning as he walked into the Hokage Tower, and right past the glowering secretary in front of Hiruzen's office door.

"Jiji, I'm baaaack~" he sang lightly as he traipsed in, only to go rigid as he saw three people talking to the Hokage. He calmed once again when he saw a familiar mop of crimson hair and a brown gourd.

"Gaara!" he smiled as the boy turned to face him, inclining his head slightly.

"Naruto," the boy kept his arms crossed over his chest, causing the blond boy to frown.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Gaara. Is that any way to greet a friend?" Naruto tutted as he held out a hand. Gaara hesitantly reached out to shake it, but was pulled into a hug against his will. Naruto relished the shocked looks on the other two's faces as he released the redhead.

"You... touched Gaara?" Naruto grinned at the older teens, particularly the one who had spoken, the boy with make-up on his face and wearing a cat bodysuit.

"What? You've never tried hugging him before? His sand only reacts when the attempted contact is violent."

"I refrained from explaining this to them, Naruto. I was afraid Kankuro would push the limits of what I was comfortable with. Like you evidently have made it your life's mission to do." Naruto shrugged and scratched his cheek lightly.

"You're never gonna get more comfortable with anything unless you push it, Gaara."

The Suna Genin just _Hmm_ 'd and gestured at his two companions.

"My brother, Kankuro, and my sister, Temari." Naruto immediately stuck his hand out to the girl now known as Temari.

"Hey!" Kankuro said indignantly. Naruto leveled a deadpan stare at him.

"Not only is she older, she's also a lady." Kankuro _snerked_ at that, causing Temari to glare at him and reach slowly for the fan on her back. Naruto rolled his eyes and retracted his hand, then turned to the Hokage, who was watching the goings on with some amusement, as the two older sand siblings began to scuffle.

"So, Naruto-kun, what was so important that you had to leave the others behind?"

"I found another Uzumaki, Jiji." Hiruzen's jaw dropped, but he quickly recovered, and smiled brilliantly.

"That's wonderful! Where are they?

"I left him in Ame. He's not exactly the kind of guy I can parade through Konoha." Hiruzen caught the subtle meaning. "However, it seems Ero-sennin's intel of that one group is no longer relevent." Hiruzen shook his head in mild wonder.

"Only you, Naruto. Only you. Anyway, young Gaara here was just explaining about an _interesting_ encounter he had earlier this year, and felt we should know as Suna's allies." both Konoha nin turned to the redhead, who was holding his siblings at either end of arm's length from each other.

"Yes," he said in his monotone voice, showing no signs of a scuffle like his brother and sister did. "Orochimaru of the Sannin came to the the Kazekage shortly after I graduated from the Academy, and put forth the plan that we help him in an Invasion of Konoha during the Chuunin Exams." Naruto and Hiruzen stiffened, but remained quiet. "We, ultimately decided not to aid him, or I did anyway, I'm not sure about the Kazekage or Suna as a whole, but I felt you should know that an Invasion could very well still happen."

"Well... that certainly explains Iwa," Naruto put in, looking at his grandfather, who nodded.

"Yes, Onoki wouldn't pass up the chance to take a shot at the Yondaime's face on the monument, and I'm fairly sure Kumo might be in on it for another shot at the _Byakugan_."

"Oh, they'll have a fit when they see my _Rinnegan_ , then," Naruto smirked, drawing the sand siblings' attentions to his eyes for the first time. They, naturally gaped. Well, the older two gaped, Gaara merely stared.

"You didn't have that last time I saw you."

"No, no I didn't. Now!" Naruto said jovially, clapping his hands together quickly. "I promised you ice-cream, didn't I? C'mon, I'm buying."

"Naruto..."

"Eh, it's your job to worry about that stuff, Jiji. My job is to be a gracious host to my friend!" Hiruzen grumbled, but technically, the blond was right. The small group of teenagers left the office, Kankuro and Temari badgering Naruto with questions about Konoha and what he apparently knew about Gaara that they didn't. The ice-cream parlor Hiruzen knew they were headed to, the only one that allowed Naruto as a patron, despite his connection to the Hokage himself, was only about three or four blocks from the tower. Surely even Naruto could avoid trouble for that long?

 **With Naruto and the others**

They made it a block and a half.

"Why were you so informal with your Hokage? He could imprison you for insubordination!" Temari said, her eyebrows up in her hairline, causing Naruto to snort out a laugh.

"He's my grandfather. I'm not big on formality anyway, but the Sarutobi clan especially don't like it."

"You're part of the Sarutobi clan?" Kankuro asked, causing the _Rinnegan_ wielder to nod.

"Yeah, Jiji's son Asuma is my tou-chan."

"Then... why is your last name Uzumaki?" Kankuro said with his usual tact. The blond froze and stiffened a moment, long enough for all three sand siblings to notice, and ground out his answer.

"I'm adopted." he could feel the two older teens blanch at his response. "My birth parents died the night of the Kyuubi attack almost fourteen years ago. I was a street rat for close to five years, before Tou-chan adopted me. Any other stupid questions?"

"N-no..." Kankuro said fearfully, sensing the KI radiating from the blond. It was much more potent than even the Kazekage's! Naruto resumed walking, not caring if they followed, which they did, before a blur came screaming down the alley they were passing, slamming into Kankuro.

"Watch it runt!"

"Kankuro," Temari sighed. "You're making us look bad."

"This shrimp needs a lesson in respect!"

"You were in my way!" as soon as he heard the voice, Naruto whipped around, his Katana unsealed faster than ever before, and had the tip resting at the base of the older boy's throat.

"Put. My. Cousin. Down." Kankuro turned even paler than he had previously and slowly lowered the child to the ground, backing away slowly with his hands up in surrender,

"Kona," Naruto said flatly, causing the boy to flinch slightly, as he continued glowering at the painted teen. "Why were you running so fast down an alley you know if frequently used?"

"I was running from that pink-haired billboard broad!" Naruto snapped his intense gaze from the Suna Genin to his cousin with a questioning glance.

"Sakura?"

"GET BACK HERE YOU GAKI!" his answer came in the form of said female careening down the same alley Konohamaru had previously bolted down, causing the blond jinchuuriki's hardened reflexes to act before he could process the actions he took. In an instant, he had his blade resealed and did a low sweep kick, swiping Sakura's feet from under her, catching her arm as it flailed trying to regain her lost balance, and roughly shoulder-threw her over onto her back, a loud _whap_ following her impact, and he was positioned in a crouch over her chest, a kunai at her throat.. All faster than anyone could blink. It took him a moment to realize the situation, but when he did, he rose without a word and backed away a few steps, looking around with wild eyes. Konohamaru had seen his Aniki like this before, right after he'd joined the ANBU Black-Ops.

"Naru-nii?" but the blond didn't see, hear or sense him. His mind was thrown back to some his worst missions, where he'd lost comrades. Friends.

 _He saw fourty Iwa Jounin ambush his squad, slaughtering the others ruthlessly._

 _He saw the forward scout get incinerated by a trap he'd missed as he entered the Kiri Nukenin hideout._

 _He saw over and over, the blood of young children splatter the walls of Uchiha homes._

 _He saw the pool of it as his own hand slit the throat of the only woman to ever show him kindness._

 _Blood._

 _Blood._

 _ **Blood**_.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He roared as he lashed out at the two who had come close to him. Only when he heard the sickening _crunch_ of broken bones and the cry of pain did he escape the hell he thought he'd left behind. He was able to focus his sight, only to see Konohamru cradling a mangled right arm, and Gaara staring wide-eyed at him as his sand fell away from his face. Naruto knew that look.

 _WHY WAS IT ALWAYS THAT FUCKING LOOK?!_ Only then did he realize he'd hurt Kono. As he moved forward to help his cousin, the boy flinched back violently, fear in his eyes as he looked up at the blond from the ground. Naruto felt bile rise in his throat and tears prick at his eyes.

"No..." he whimpered, then he jumped away and did the only thing he knew how to do.

He ran.


	32. Chapter 32: Assassination Formation!

**Gurbnogfen: that, good sir (or madam) is exactly what I intend to do.**

 **TigrezzTail (I am getting good at spelling out your name without having to look): It's not that he's been playing Genin. He was already in a high-stress situation, his nerves jumpy, when** _ **someone came running towards him at Shinobi speeds**_ **(this also goes for thor94) I've gotten a lot of reviews about how he's mentally stable. But I have a news flash.**

 _ **No-one can be mentally stable after an extended period of time in the military, especially Elite Black-ops units.**_ **Naruto actually has PTSD (in my story) and he went into attack mode when Sakura sprinted at him at speeds only ninja can attain.** _ **His minds IFF (indication of friend-or-foe) didn't register Sakura. All he saw was a shinobi attacking him.**_ **Then when he was already in that state, he got the violent flashbacks. He didn't realize he was seeing the past, to him it was** _ **real**_ **, so he lashed out to defend himself.**

 **Now, before anyone starts griping that I don't know shit about this;** **yes I do.** **My Dad was a U.S. Marine with PTSD, several of my friends have PTSD because of serious, life-threatening events. I myself suffer from a mild form of PTSD, due to an event I would rather not discuss. I mainly only get nervous when things start looking like said event, with occasional flashbacks, but my dad and friends described in VIVID detail how this stuff plays out. I saw my dad take down a cab driver on instinct because he moved towards him just a little too fast, and he almost broke my leg when I moved to help. On top of all that, I have studied mental disorders in excruciating detail.** _ **I know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.**_

 **Okay, I'd like to say, I deeply apologize for all of you having to put up with my temper bullshit when it wasn't directed at you. Let's get to it, though.**

 **Chapter 32: Assassination Formation!**

Three hours had passed, and Naruto could sense the hatred and rage rolling off the Village in waves as word of his incident spread, from his current position in the Forest of Death. He was sitting on the roof of the Tower at the center, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs for comfort in some form. He knew only four or five people would brave the forest to find him, but so far, none had come yet. No doubt it would be the two he least wanted to see at the moment.

"Naru," and speak of the devil.

"Go away, Tou-chan," Naruto whispered as he stared out over the trees before him. Instead, Asuma sat down next to him and snubbed his cigarette, resting his elbows on his own knees as he joined his son.

"Want to talk about what happened?"

"Not really."

"Okay then," Asuma fell silent as he sat with the teenage blond. He'd talk when he was ready. Thirty minutes passed before he spoke up again.

"Konohamaru's fine, you know. He'll have a cast for about a month, thanks to the Mednins, but he's really worried about you."

"He didn't seem like it when it happened. All I saw in his eyes was terror."

"Probably because you'd just broken his arm. Anyone's first reaction is fear to what injured them." Naruto sighed dejectedly, causing Asuma to look at him out of the corner of his eye.

"I know that, but the biggest thing was Gaara's face."

"The Sand Genin?" Naruto nodded.

"He wasn't hurt, but he was giving me that look, like he couldn't fathom my actions. Like I was..."

"A monster?" Naruto nodded again as silent tears trailed slightly down his cheeks.

"It hurt, Tou-chan. It hurt more than anyone else because he's _experienced_ it. Suna treats him the same way, and yet he looked at me as though he was expecting me to kill him any second." he was about to continue, but the slight _clink_ of ceramic brought his attention to Asuma, who had two sake dishes ready, and a pitcher of the rice wine already out.

"Normally I don't like you drinking, but I think in this case it's okay." the blond gave a humorless laugh.

"I can't get drunk, remember?" Asuma shrugged and handed him one of the saucers.

"It's better than you taking up smoking. Sis would kill me if she caught you smoking, because then Konohamru would probably try to start. He admires you so much." Naruto took the dish and tapped it to his dad's then downed it in one go, grimacing at the taste.

"I can never understand how people stomach this crap."

"Because most of us can get drunk, so we don't drink it for the taste."

"True enough." Asuma took one more drink, then put away the bottle.

"So, what happened?" Naruto sighed.

"Kono had just come running down an alley, and smack into Gaara's older brother. Kankuro decided he needed a lesson in respect and was about to hit him,"

"So you threatened him."

"I had my Katana at his throat before anyone blinked. Then, Sakura runs down the alley after Kono."

"At Shinobi speeds? Into a high-stress situation? With a seasoned warrior?"

"Yeah, Sakura doesn't really live up to her potential much. Anyway, I snapped and don't remember much after that. All I remember is seeing so much blood, and then I came to and Kono had his arm broken." Asuma sighed and ran his hand down his face.

"I told you to go see Inoichi for your PTSD, Naru."

"And I have been. But you should know, Tou-chan, you can never get rid of that baggage. It's hard enough to be able to function normally with it." Asuma sighed once more and lit a cigarette after placing it in his mouth. He remained silent until his first exhale after a long drag.

"Yeah, I know... and I wish there was something I could do, but unfortunately, there isn't."

"So, I imagine a lot of Civilians are calling for my head on a spit right now."

"And you would be correct. The Merchant's Guild is being especially vocal. Fortunately, Pops dissolved any form of Civilian Council a few years ago, on your insistence, so they have no say at all, and the shinobi council has been bumped down from power to an advisory capacity."

"Yeah," Naruto scoffed. "Try telling Danzo he has no power anymore."

"That doesn't count," Asuma pointed out. "Danzo has been delusional for years."

"Fair point. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if he tries something. The sooner he keels over, the better."

"Unfortunately," came a cold voice, making both Naruto and Asuma quickly assume a defensive position. "That will not be happening." The Sarutobi duo were faced with none other than Shimura Danzo and his four elite bodyguards from Ne. Naruto growled deep in his throat at the sight of the man.

"Wouldn't count on it, you old fart. Sneaking up on an Elite Jounin and a Jinchuuriki tends to be bad for one's health."

"True, but only if one is unprepared for the backlash. I am not unprepared for such. You," he pointed his single hand at the blond. "have been deemed to dangerous to let live. A defective weapon is no weapon at all. And of course, we can't have a witness running off to tell that idiot Hiruzen." Naruto growled even more, his voice becoming dangerous and feral, as Danzo unknowingly signed his eventual death warrant. Naruto wasn't sure if he could actually take the man in a fight, but damned if he wasn't going to try.

" **No-one** ," he said as his voice took the demonic edge that indicated he was channeling the Kyuubi's chakra. " **Threatens my family. And what's more, Sarutobi Hiruzen is a smarter and better man than you could ever be, you wrinkled old fuckstick.** " With that, Naruto channeled all of Kurama's chakra that his body could handle safely and formed four seal-less _**Kage Bunshin**_ , one for each of Danzo's guards. The eight of them jumped away, shockwaves echoing from where they clashed in the forest.

" **Asuma,** " Naruto said in a growl as rust-red fur began sprouting from his flesh. Asuma flicked his eyes in acknowledgment. " **I'll hold him off. You go get Jiji and the ANBU.** " Asuma was gone in a flash, and Danzo smirked smugly.

"You are sixty years too young to be able to hold a candle to my skill, _Genin_." Naruto barked out a laugh as his transformation finished.

" **That's where you're wrong you imbecilic, narrow-minded warmonger. I've been in ANBU for the past five years. Right. Under. Your. Nose.** " the Jinchuuriki wasted no more time or breath as he rushed forward, unsealing both of his Katana and swiping furiously through the attack stances of his Kenjutsu style, forcing Danzo to dodge and weave through the blades. Then, Naruto upped the ante by channeling his and Kurama's chakra through the metal, extending the reach and adding the deadly corrosiveness. Danzo's eye widened as he heard the slight screech of Wind Chakra on metal.

"So, there is a third Wind User in Konoha. Unfortunate that the number will drop after today."

Naruto grinned his fanged grin as he sped up his attacks. He had one advantage over the older Shinobi; he wasn't crippled and slowed by old age. And he had both arms and eyes, but the fact of his age was the biggest thing. Danzo was undeniably a strong Shinobi, but he was also old. Hiruzen himself had said multiple times he would a lose a spar to Naruto for the simple fact that his body wasn't as strong or as fast as it had been in his prime. And he was a few years younger than the man in front of the Teen now. Danzo dodged another attack and saw an opening, or so he thought, and rushed forward, a wind blade forming on his hand, going for a lethal blow for his first strike.

" **Checkmate, motherfucker.** _ **Bunshin Daibakuha!**_ " Danzo didn't have time to ponder the fact that his target was exploding, or contemplate when the Weapon had made and switched with another clone. He was thrown back, mostly unharmed, and as he landed he realized his head wrap and his kimono were on fire. He quickly removed both, revealing his false arm, and kept his eye closed. He snapped it open with a snarl of rage as the real Naruto landed in front of him.

"So," Naruto, who was now back to normal, said after looking at Danzo's revealed secrets. "That's where Shisui-nii's eye went." Danzo was about to retort when the corpses of his Ne members clattered onto the tiles around the two, followed by the Naruto clones they'd been fighting. His face turned a bright red, and only got more so when soon after, ANBU members began landing on the Tower as well as Hiruzen, Itachi, and Asuma.

"About damn time you assholes showed up," the blond commented dryly. Hiruzen clucked in admonishment, but kept his gaze on Danzo. He was still wearing his Hokage robes and hat.

"Anything to say for yourself, Danzo?" Danzo summarized his final words by spitting at the Hokage's feet.

"You have ruined this Village, Hiruzen." he was about to rush forward and attempt to at least take out one of the two, Naruto or Hiruzen, in a kamikaze attack, when a Katana blade speared through his chest from behind. He looked down in shock at the blood-covered blade as Naruto's voice whispered in his left ear.

"It seems you were right, Shimura. The number did drop." as the blond dispelled, revealing itself to be a clone, the twenty ANBU members around Danzo all sprinted forward, spearing the man with their Tanto's, waiting until his body went limp before removing them. Hiruzen strode forward and, after borrowing one of Naruto's Katana, removed the head of the body, ensuring he was dead.

"Well, today has been eventful, ne?" Hiruzen stated jovially, to which Naruto scowled. "Oh, come now, Naruto-kun I already know it wasn't your fault, and Konohamaru-kun doesn't blame you." the ANBU dispersed after removing the bodies, and the three Sarutobi began on their way back to the Village proper.

"The fact remains, Jiji, I hurt someone I love. I couldn't control myself, and Kono got hurt. Then a delusional old fart tried to kill me for it, and no doubt the civilians are going to try roasting me as soon as I pass this gate," Naruto said bleakly as he stared at the gate surrounding Training Ground 44. "No matter what I do, no matter how much blood I lose for this Village, they will never accept me. They won't be happy 'til I'm dead. I'm finding it really difficult to find a reason to stay. Even my family and friends can't shield me from the hate, try as they might." at this point, the blond was talking more to himself than to his father and grandfather.

"Really, what's the point? I could go literally anywhere in the elemental nations and be just fine. I could live in the wild far from any other humans, and I would be fine..."

"Naruto," Asuma said, catching the blond's attention with the use of his full name. "Just promise me one thing."

"Wassat, Tou-chan?"

"Even if you decide to leave, please don't go Nukenin." Naruto snorted.

"Yeah, I really want to live on the run. What do you think I am, stupid?"

"No, Naruto-kun, we don't think you're stupid, Hiruzen said gently. "We're just concerned." Naruto sighed.

"Yeah, I know. If I'm totally honest, I'm seriously considering resigning after the Chuunin exams and moving to Uzu, try rebuilding there." Asuma and Hiruzen's eyebrows shot into their hairlines. "What? I'm an Uzumaki by birth."

"Yeah, we know Naru, you just caught us off guard. If you do that, what'll happen?"

"In what regard?"

"How would you view Konoha at that point?" Naruto shrugged.

"Not sure. I know for sure I'd extend a military hand, because despite the Civilian population being full of idiots, a lot of Shinobi here have been good to me, or at least indifferent."

"You talk as if you'll have a full Village in mere moments of arriving."

"Well, Jiji... remember that side-trip I made?" Hiruzen nodded and narrowed his eyes. "I might have... maybe, sort of found another Uzumaki. Plus, I'm sure once people start hearing about another Village, it will flourish. Everyone wants to get on a Shinobi Village's good side."

"Another living Uzumaki... incredible. What's their name?"

"At this point? Classified as fuck."

"I see."

"I'll tell you at some point, Jiji." before another word was said between the three of them, two simultaneous poofs of smoke appeared before Naruto. One cleared to reveal a small messenger toad holding a scroll. The other cleared to reveal a lynx that was slightly larger, with a scroll tied to it's back. They spoke at the same time, not having noticed each other.

" **Are you Uzumaki Naruto?** " the two summons then snapped a look to each other and bristled slightly.

"Uh... yes?"

" **Gama-san, you may go first.** "

" **Thanks, Lynx-san. Okay, so Uzumaki Naruto, Jiraiya of the Sannin extends the formal invitation for you to sign the Summoning Contract of the Toads.** " the large cat snorted a small laugh.

" **Uzumaki Naruto, your cousin sends the message that he is holding for you the Summoning Contract of the Uzumaki, the Osprey.** "

"Of course he does. I have to ask, are you his summon, or..."

" **Nagato-san does not carry a Contract in his blood, I am the personal Summon of Konan**."

"Nagato? Why does that name sound familiar?" Hiruzen said in contemplation. Naruto facepalmed.

"Fuck me sideways... okay... uh... Gama!" the toad snapped to attention. "Return to Ero-sennin and tell him to meet me in three days on the Hokage Monument. Lynx-san,"

" **My name is Rinaru** ," the cat supplied pleasantly.

"Rinaru-san, please return to Nagato and tell him to send Deva to Konoha and have it meet me on the Hokage Monument in three days." both summons nodded and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"So, this other Uzumaki is named Nagato?"

"Yes, Jiji."

"Which Contract will you sign?" Asuma asked, slightly deflated because he'd been thinking about having Naruto sign the monkey contract. Naruto sighed heavily and rubbed his face vigorously.

"I don't know. I really don't. On one hand, the Toads are a legacy from Minato, but on the other, the Ospreys are from my birth clan..."

"You could try to convince them to let you sign both," Hiruzen said. Naruto looked at him. "It will be difficult, but not unheard of. In fact, I once met someone who held three contracts. Which by the way,"

"I'm not signing the monkey. It doesn't suit me."

"I wasn't going to say that, Naruto-kun, though I know Asuma-kun here wanted you to." Asuma provided a sufficient amount of pout. "I was going to say that Itachi-kun has mentioned the Crow contract for you."

"Why would I want the Crow Contract?"

"Kushina signed it before Itachi." Naruto was silent for several moments, his mouth slightly open.

"Well... shit."


	33. Chapter 33: Contract!

**A/N: Hey guys! I just want to thank you all for your continued support! HOUSTON, WE HAVE BROKEN 300 REVIEWS! REPEAT: BROKEN 300 REVIEWSW! I do have a question though;**

 **Why are haters actually a thing? I get that you don't have to like something, but why be a dick about it? Why can't you either politely tell me why, or just not even say anything? Do you get some sort of sick satisfaction from people getting angry? Does their reaction make you feel better about yourself? Make you feel like you have some modicum of power in a world that doesn't care about you? Or is it just that you're trying to push your sense of inferiority onto others? Are you jealous that people are more popular than you? Are you jealous that they get positive attention? Or is it just that you feel the need to be a dick because your own life doesn't please you, so you want everyone else to be miserable?**

 **Guest: why would Sakura be concerned enough to move in for him to break her arm? Konohamaru loves his cousin, and Gaara was worried for his friend. Sakura and Naruto at the moment are at best teammates.**

 **Wolf's Bar: thank you! :3 yeah, I never said there was anything WRONG with the title of Kami no Shinobi, it just irritates me when people make fics about Godlike! Characters.**

 **Darkhuntreessxir: Why do you always act like the voice over for DBZ? I'm not angry or irritated, I'm just curious.**

 **Gsapper: I realize that was meant as a positive and non-derisive way of saying you kind of like my story without solid enthusiasm, but I just couldn't help but see it as you saying 'this is a second choice and I have little interest in it aside from the fact it gets updated frequently'.**

 **Thor94: the title of the story is 'The ANBU Genin'. That's being fulfilled right now. He's a Genin. He's former ANBU. How does that not fit up? The mark of a good story, in my opinion, is that it can deviate from expectations and still keep the reader entertained. So far, I seem to be doing that.**

 **: I got the inspiration from the story 'Uzumaki Naruko: To the Victor, The Spoils V2' I mean it makes sense: Kushina was Itachi's Jounin-sensei, where would he get a summoning contract except from a sensei, because the Uchiha used hawks or something. Idk. I like it though. Crows are stealthy as fuck, cause you never see them appear, just like Kushina- and Naruto- doing their pranks. Buut when they want you to know they're there, they are fucking LOUD. Again, just like two certain Uzumaki.**

 **Chapter 33: Contract!**

Three days had passed since Naruto's little... incident. All that time, he'd avoided literally everyone by roughing it in Training Ground 44. Hiruzen and Asuma had been fairly understanding that he wanted some time alone, and had promised to talk to Konohamaru for him and apologize. He'd sensed Anko in the forest at one point, either searching for him or prepping the tower for the Chuunin exams, but he'd managed to keep her away from him. However, today he _had_ to leave and interact with people, because he'd promised Jiraiya, Nagato, and Itachi- through Asuma- that he'd meet them on the Hokage Monument to sign a contract. With a heavy sigh, he packed up his makeshift camp, throwing dirt on the fire he'd been using to cook his food and keep warm when night fell. He made it to the gate in moments, then headed out, walking fairly quickly with his head down, with the intent of heading straight to the Monument. He also made it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!

"Naru-nii!" Naruto's head snapped up as Konohamaru lunged at him with a flying glomp. As soon as the boy's torso made contact with the blond's stomach, his arms latched on like a vice. Naruto was about to say something when he felt two more weights latch onto his legs. He looked down to see that Udon and Moegi had attached themselves to his shins. Nonplussed, he shrugged and kept walked, lifting the two easily as Konohamaru's legs dangled between his own. The Hokage' biological grandson was still fairly short.

"Nii-san, where were you?" Moegi asked, muffled by the denim of Naruto's jeans.

"I was... taking a little vacation," Naruto answered uneasily. Konohamaru said something into his stomach, but it was way too muffled to be comprehensible. "What was that Kono?" the boy pulled his head back enough to be heard, his fluffy tophair swaying with the motion.

"I'm glad you're okay, Naru-nii. I was worried." Konohamaru then buried his face into his cousin's stomach once more. Naruto felt his eyes soften and his heart implode at the declaration. Even after his lash out, Konohamaru couldn't hate him. And he was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. He smiled as he kept walking, the Konohamaru Corps not releasing their holds. And so, that's how he showed up at the Hokage Monument, to the amusement of Itachi and Jiraiya, with three children clinging to him like he was a teddy bear.

"Nii-chan, Ero-sennin." Jiraiya facefaulted, grumbling angrily aboutthe nickname and the amount of disrespect in younger people, but he was cut short by a loud laugh that seemingly came from the treeline nearby. Itachi stiffened at the sound.

"Naruto," he said slowly. "Please tell me that isn't who I think it is." Naruto cocked an eyebrow at him.

"And just who do you think it is?"

"I'm not hearing you say it."

"That's because I'm not." Itachi glared at the blond as Nagato's Deva path walked from the treeline, his Akatsuki cloak no longer present. Instead, he now had standard Shiinobi pants and sandals, with a deep crimson shirt, the Uzumaki Spiral obvious on the front in searing orange. Jiraiya's eyes widened at the sight.

"Yahiko!" Deva Path frowned slightly and shook it's head.

"No, Jiraiya-Sensei. Yahiko died years ago. I am using his body as my physical presence in places I myself cannot go." the orange-haired, metal-studded body then turned to Naruto and bowed slightly. "I apologize if I am late, Naruto-sama. As Deva Path got farther from me, it became harder to control."

Naruto flapped his hand dismissively.

"You aren't late, Nagato. And I told you to stop calling me -sama."

"Old habits, as the saying goes."

"Nagato?" Now, Jiraiya just looked utterly confused. "But this is... Yahiko..." he trailed off as Deva Path turned towards him, revealing the _Rinnegan_. "But only Nagato had the _Rinnegan_... I am so confused."

"As much as I would like to discuss the intricacies of the Six Paths of Pain, I came for a reason."

"As did we all," Itachi hissed slightly. "Naruto, what is _he_ doing here?!"

"I invited him. Nagato is no longer hunting me, Itachi." the use of his name appeared to shock the usually stoic Uchiha. "He is a member of the Uzumaki, and has sworn loyalty to the clan before himself. Pein is no longer a threat. By the way, Nagato, how's Akatsuki's reform policy going?"

"Obviously, a few of our members are opposed to the idea."

"Hidan, I'm guessing was the most vocal?"

"Indeed, although Kisame and Deidara were close behind his lead."

"You know Hidan?" Itachi asked suddenly. Naruto frowned.

"I had the ... _pleasure_ of meeting Mr. Immortal Idiot a few years ago, right after he joined the Akatsuki. But, I take it you set them straight, Nagato?"

"Kisame quieted down quickly, simply because I was so honest about my intentions with the group. Deidara, I merely had to threaten siccing Itachi on him once more. Last I checked, Hidan was still griping- loudly I might add- but Kakuzu said he'd straighten him out."

"Good. Alright, so, the reason you're all here." all three of his adult guests, the children having scampered off some time since Nagato got there, spoke simultaneously.

"I want you to sign my contract." as soon as the words were spoken, all three glared at each other.

"He has a duty as an Uzumaki to sign the Osprey Contract."

"His legacy from his father is the Toad Contract."

"The Crows were his mothers'." A three-way lightning bolt formed between the trio, none willing to back down.

"All valid points," Naruto said loudly, gaining their attention. "But seeing as I know nothing about them aside from those points, I don't know which will be best suited to me. So, I want you all to summon a representative, the Boss if you can, to argue the finer points of each contract." Jiraiya and Itachi immediately went through the handsigns after biting their thumbs.

" _Kuchiyose no Jutsu!_ " two puffs of smoke, one very large and one about the size of Akamaru, later and the bosses of the Toads and the Crows were present. Itachi turned to Deva path.

"Well?" Deva grumbled under it's breath,

"Give me minute then. _Kawarimi_." with a puff, Deva Path was gone, replaced by Nagato's real body, and he was glaring at the blond.

"You planned this." Naruto nodded, grinning.

"You're an Uzumaki too, my duty is your duty." Nagato had to take several minutes to pull out and sign the Osprey contract, clearly ignoring Itachi and Jiraiya's gaping, before he weaved the signs, putting his hand against the small space before him in his machine. Another Akamaru-sized puff of smoke cleared to reveal the hawk-like bird of prey.

" **Well... that's new,** " it chirped. " **Alright, who summoned me?** " Naruto pointed at Nagato behind the bird. It turned.

"I am Nagato. I only signed the contract and summoned you, because my _cousin_ here needed a representative of the Ospreys to argue for signing this contract instead of the Toads or Crows. After this situation is resolved, I will be removing my name from your contract.

" **What, are we not good enough for ya?!** " the predator puffed it's chest out and spread it's wings slightly.

"I just don't use summons. It's not really my style."

" **Oh. Okay then.** " Naruto had to sigh at the switch the summon animal had taken in demeanor.

"I take it you two," he pointed at the birds. "Aren't the boss summons?" both shook their heads. "Alrighty, so Itachi and Nagato don't have enough Chakra to summon the Bosses. Lovely. Anywho, the problem, as it stands, is that three different summoning contracts are being offered to me, and I don't know anything about them aside from the animals and legacy."

" **I'll start then,** " the Crow said, stepping forward. " **My name is Kisaru, and we crows are used for stealth and surveillance. If you sign with us, we will teach you the Crow Clone. Itachi-san has displayed this multiple times. We also use Genjutsu quite a bit, and will help you in that regard.** " Naruto nodded and gestured to the giant toad that was sitting behind his Godfather. It pulled it's long pipe from its' mouth and exhaled.

" **My name is Gamabunta, and I'm the Boss of the Toads. We're front-line fighters, we use oil in conjunction with** _ **Katon**_ **jutsu to make deadly explosions. We have smaller toads who can be used for spying or delivering messages, and once your body stops growing and settles, we can teach you to use** _ **Senjutsu**_ **. You'd be the Gama Sennin if you survive.** "

"And what are the odds of survival of _Senjutsu_ training?" Naruto asked.

" **About one in every fifteen**." Naruto nodded and stroked his chin thoughtfully, then gestured to the Osprey, who _harrumph_ ed.

" **Well, we Ospreys don't seem like much compared to those two, now do we? Why would you chose us after those?** "

"You never know," Naruto said with a grin. "I tend to defy expectations. Please, describe your clan."

" **Okay... we're mainly hunters and recon specialists. We can't do much in the way of jutsu, but we come in big enough sizes to add a flight tactical advantage to any battlefield.** "

"And what is your name specifically?" Naruto asked politely. The bird looked surprised at the question,

" **I didn't say? Huh. It's Sharu.** " Naruto nodded.

"I thank you all for your input about your clans. After hearing all arguments, I've reached the decision that I won't sign any of them." the three other humans all screamed simultaneously.

"WHAT?!"

"I can't seem to choose just one. They all have excellent points, and they are all extremely useful. But if I sign one, the other two are left without a legacy to continue, and it just wouldn't be fair." Itachi saw right through the blond's stoic facade, through to the hidden smirk underneath. He glowered at the teen.

"You conniving little shit."

The three summons looked at each other, then the two birds flew up to Gamabunta's shoulders. They held a whispered conversation for several minutes, then turned to the group.

" **Due to extenuating circumstances,** " Gamabunta finally started. " **We have agreed to allow this Gaki to sign all three contracts. Kisaru-san and Sharu-san will return home and inform the bosses of this development.** " Naruto grinned and bowed a bit to the three summons as they poofed away. The three adults glared at him.

"You had that planned from the moment you got here, didn't you?" Jiraiya seethed. He'd been played like a fiddle.

"What? I would never!" Naruto said with exaggerated hurt, placing his hand on his chest dramatically. "It was just happy coincidence that they decided to allow me all three." Itachi scoffed.

"You mean you played all six of us like a damn fiddle."

"As you will, the contracts please!" Naruto held out his arms, grinning cheekily. Two were thrown at him, but Nagato took the time to wipe his name from the Osprey Contract before launching it at the blond's head. It was caught easily and unrolled next to the other two. Naruto cut his thumb open and signed all three quickly, leaving his bloody fingerprints at the bottoms, before anyone could change their minds. Jiraiya was outvoted by Itachi and Nagato to show the blond how to use the jutsu.

"I would think you'd all be happy about this. You're all getting what you want, right?"

"That's beside the point, Gaki," Jiraiya said snippily. "The whole idea was loyalty to one Contract." Naruto stiffened, his hair suddenly shadowing his eyes menacingly.

"Like loyalty to one person? Like loyalty to one Nation? If people learned to get along and have multiple loyalties, many of the Shinobi World Wars could have been avoided." all three adults were suddenly cowed by the revelation of why Naruto had tricked his way into all three contracts. He turned and pointed at Nagato.

"If a bird of prey can learn to work alongside it's food, then why can't an S-Ranked Nukenin learn to forgive past mistakes?" Nagato ducked his head in shame. Naruto turned his finger on Itachi. "If an anti-social species can learn to set aside it's issues for the greater good, why can't the head of a militaristic clan learn to broker peace?" Itachi closed his eyes in a flinch as Naruto turned to his final victim. "If a selfish animal clan can set aside it's pride and learn to share, why can't an old man learn that loyalty is to an ideal, not a faction?" Jiraiya was most shaken as he paled and sat down hard, looking like he might vomit.

 **The view of those three**

Before them stood not an ANBU, not a Shinobi. Before them stood not a child, nor a Jinchuuriki.

Before them stood an emissary of peace.

Before them stood the power to change the world.

Before them stood the second coming of the Rikudo Sennin.


	34. Chapter 34: The Rest Period!

**Dragonbuster117: Technically, both of his personalities are completely real, but at the same time absolutely false. I'll explain. When he's wearing the mask,** _ **Kage**_ **is absolute, there exists no other entity in that body. When the mask is off, his everyday personality is present. He doesn't exactly have D.I.D (I'm still used to calling it M.P.D. Or Multiple Personality Disorder) or Disassociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D. You see what I D.I.D. There? Eh? Eh?) but it's more like the dual personality he has is his coping mechanism, Like Kakashi's habitual lateness, or Tsunade's drinking and gambling. Essentially, he has a switch that gets flipped when he's in the mask, making him as cold and ruthless as possible.**

 **Xnaruhina: No, Kurama can't block mental disorders, under which Night Terrors are clasified. He can take care of physical problems all damn day, but despite being inside Naruto's mind, he holds no sway over the blonde's mentality. Also, yes, Kaguya was quite** _ **literally**_ **a Goddess, so she's not considered, and as for Jinchuuriki fully bonding with their Bijuu, I have three examples from Canon( spoilers BTW in case you haven't gotten that far): Yagura- the Yondaime Mizukage, Kirabi- or Killer Bee, and Uzumaki Naruto. All three Partnered fully with their respective Bijuu, and yet, they all eventually got their asses kicked, because someone else was stronger or smarter, or more clever, or had better tools. Madara was slamming Naruto around before pulling his shit. So while they are undoubtedly strong, they are not actual gods, despite their partners being Immortal Chakra Entities.**

 **Okay, so someone said that Fem!Haku is OOC in that she bended knee to the man who killed her master in mere moments. No, she didn't. Naruto never killed Zabuza. Zabuza** _ **thought**_ **he did, because of his KI. It's literally like in the Forest of Death in Canon when Sasuke saw his own death because of Orochimaru's KI. It's almost a Genjutsu, but more visceral. Also, person who is no longer reading this story, of course there isn't much to challenge Naruto. He's a Kage level Shinobi. He was first choice to become ANBU commander, and that roll has to be at the** _ **least**_ **the third best active shinobi currently in the Village. Otherwise, what's the actual point? If your subordinates can kick your ass, why would you be in charge?**

 **Now that I've got that out of the way, I want to thank each and every one of you. I realize I'm not the best writer in the world, or even on this website, although according to you all I'm up there, and I appreciate all of the feedback you give me. Writing is my passion and with every review, with every constructive criticism, I get better. With every follower or Favorite, my love for the art grows, and I keep my love alive. However; With every great power, comes a huge goddamn shackle to restrain it. I work on this story 'The ANBU Genin' so much, and the reason it's my longest story is because it gets** _ **feedback**_ **. I really want to work on my other stories, I do, but I literally can't unless I** _ **know**_ **people are reading them- through the reviews. Now, I'm not trying to beg anyone to go read my stories and review, I'm just telling you the facts about myself. My stories** _ **literally**_ **cannot be worked on without feedback. Recently, someone gave me a kick in the ass on the other Naruto story I have 'Haruno's Secret' so I'm working on that, even though I will probably keep the chapters there short, it just seems to fit the story better in my opinion, but I'm struggling with my other ongoing stories. I'll open the Chapter I'm working on, and just stare at it blankly for two hours, then close it down and do something else. It's even worse on the novel I'm trying to write because I can't show it to** _ **anyone**_ **because I'm paranoid they'll try to steal it. It sucks.**

 **Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, let's get to it!**

 **Chaper 34: The Rest Period!**

"One more time, Gaki." Simultaneously, four Shinobi charged at Naruto, who was holding his two Katana in the UzuRyuu stance. With only three more days until the Chuunin Exams began, Naruto was getting some last minute training in with his team... or rather, his team was being put through the meat grinder by his clones.

"You know," he commented drily as he dodged out of the way of a kunai, a senbon, and a trench knife. "I'd think four Jounin would do better against one Genin." he then backrolled, with some slight effort due to how unusual the move was, his spine running along the width of the Kubikiribocho as he landed on his feet again. He snapped up his Katana to block Asuma and Kakashi from either side.

"You... are not... a normal... Genin..." Haku panted as she tried taking advantage of Naruto's arms being occupied by drop-kicking him. He countered by jumping and slamming his own foot into the girls' to negate her attack. She and Zabuza, along with the Demon Brothers, had finished interrogation and been inducted into Konoha's forces, Haku and Zabuza as Jounin and the brothers as Chuunin, and had asked every day to spar with the blond.

"True enough," Naruto said, barely winded. "But still, Kakashi is an Ex-ANBU as well, and he's panting nearly as bad as you. Only tou-chan and Zabs are doing alright here," Zabuza growled once more at the nickname- _oh how he loathed that damn nickname_ \- and Asuma remained silent.

"Not... all of us... have high... stamina... Naruto," Kakashi panted as he jumped back and flopped down in exhaustion, Haku joining him quickly. Naruto grinned, as his number of opponents and just been halved.

" ** _Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu!_** " Zabuza threw his hand out at the teen, causing Asuma to groan loudly and jump out of the way.

" ** _Bansho Ten'nin_**!" Zabuza shouted in horror as he felt himself get dragged in front of his blond tormen- opponent and take the full brunt of his _own goddamn attack_. Naruto waited until the Jutsu canceled itself, then tossed the Demon of the Bloody Mist aside like a ragdoll, snapping around to face Asuma, whom he saw was charging with both his trench knives coated in Wind Chakra. He quickly did the same to his Katana and held them both forward, adopting a more Samurai-kije stance. Asuma stopped and looked around, obviously having been expecting some form of back-up. Then, he dropped his knives and held his hands up in surrender.

"Asuma-sensei," came the lazy drawl of Nara Shikamaru from off to the side, where he was sitting with his two teammates. "You give up way too easily."

"Fine then Shika," Asuma said quickly. "You face Naruto one-on-one." the young genius paled quickly and scuffled backwards. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Kurenai-san," Naruto called suddenly. "You can stop trying to catch me in Genjutsu now. They won't work." a dejected sigh followed this declaration, and Yuuhi Kurenai stepped out from some nearby bushes, where she'd been hiding since the start of the spars, attempting to help her fellow Jounin by trapping Naruto in illusions. She was very surprised at his skill, however.

"You... should not be that good, Naruto." Asuma guffawed.

"Naru's ex ANBU, Kure. He was first choice for ANBU Commander five years ago." the woman's jaw dropped sufficiently quickly. She also noted no-one else in the clearing seemed surprised at this revelation. She turned to the Genin sitting on the edge of the clearing, and glared at her own students.

"You knew about this?"

"I found out on his birthday a couple years ago," Kiba said nonchalantly as he fed Akamaru a treat.

"I found out during his 'terror' incident in the Academy," Hinata supplied with a slight blush.

"I didn't know this, but I suspected he was lying about his true skill," Shino said with a slight gloom cloud over his head. Kurenai frowned, then turned to Asuma's team.

"Same as Kiba," Shikamaru said without opening his eyes as he lay on his back.

"Me too," Choji mentioned around his mouth full of chips.

"I fund out the same way Hinata did," Ino grumped. The Ravenette turned to Kakashi and Jozun, who had declined the fight on account of a coughing fit.

Kakashi tiredly held up two fingers, indicating two years, before his arm flopped back to the ground.

"The bastard trained me," Jozun supplied after taking a handful of medicine pills and downing them with a chug of water. "No offense," he added, looking at Naruto.

"None taken," the blond waved.

"Sasuke and Sakura?" Kurenai asked with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Sasukle found out the same day Kakashi did, and pinky learned the fact last week in Wave." an effeminate shriek of rage followed Naruto's declaration, and Sakura came flying at him from behind, aiming a punch at his head.

 **"STOP CALLING ME PINKY!** " Naruto snorted and caught her fist, slinging her around and throwing her into Ino.

"Your hair is pink, get used to it. And who said you could stop your training?"

"Your clone let us take a break," Sasuke said as he walked up, his hands in his pockets, Inari by his side panting heavily. Naruto nodded.

"NII-CHAAAAAAAN!" a flying blur shot from the foliage and slammed into the wall that was Naruto, resolving into Konohamaru, followed soon after by a grimacing Gaara and a smirking Itachi.

"Had I known your cousin would be so hard to keep track of, I would not have allowed myself to be tricked into watching him today, Naruto," Gaara said with a mild glare, which Naruto shrugged off.

"Oh come one, Gaara, it's not like you're doing anything else." Naruto said, oblivious to the two children glaring at each other. Kono and Inari had become rivals in a sense, and their goal was Naruto's attention. Being the same age and looking up to the same person tended to have some side-effects.

"Naru-nii, you said we'd go get some Barbecue!" Konohamru whined, hiding his smirk.

"Aniki, you still have to show me how to throw Shuriken!" Inari cried, smothering his grin. Naruto sweatdropped at the obvious ploys to garner his attention.

"Did someone say Barbecue?" surprisingly, it was Haku who was the first to react, sitting up quickly, all fatigue apparently forgotten at the mention of the word. Even Choji looked at the petite girl in surprise, her reaction time to food trumping his own.

"Ah, shit, here we go," Zabuza sighed from his position, laying on his back.

"Yeah, Naru-nii-san said he'd take me to Yakinu BBQ for lunch." The Ice Style user was beside the blond in a blink, her eyes slightly crazed as she gripped his collar.

"Where is this place?" she demanded as everyone tried getting over their shock. Naruto tentatively gripped her wrists and removed them from the collar of his hoodie.

"I was going to invite everyone anyway," he said cautiously, then coughed under his breath. "At Jiji's expense."

 **Hokage Tower**

A Cold Shiver ran down Hiruzen's spine, and he had a sudden urge to burn the restaurant district of the Village to the ground.

"Where is the epicenter?" he thought out loud to himself, confusing his ANBU guards. "It's not Ichiraku's... it's not the Soba shop...that leaves..." his eyes widened comically and his mouth fell open in horror. Inoichi had told him about one of his new Jounin's obsession with Barbecue, which apparently almost rivaled Naruto's with Ramen. "Yakinu," Before anyone could say anything else, he was gone with only a breeze to tell his passing, hoping to make it before it was too late.

 **Yakinu BBQ with the group**

"Three, two, one," Naruto counted in a bored tone, picking his fingernail with one of his Senbon needles.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone turned to see Sarutobi Hiruzen on his knees right inside the door of the restaurant, his fists raised skyward as he howled in anguish, all dignity forgotten.

"How the _hell_ did you time that so well?" Zabuza asked the blond after getting over seeing the Hokage screaming like that.

"Jiji has learned to feel when his wallet is going to get lighter, and after some trial and goddamit"

"Trial and Goddamnit?" Jozun cut in.

"It's how I say trial and error," Naruto supplied. ( **A/N: that's actually how I phrase it tbh. Thank Dark Souls** ) "Anyway, after some trial and goddamnit, he learned to find the specific point that will lighten said wallet. He just never makes it in time."

"In time for what?" Kakashi asked in clear confusion.

"To stop Naru from putting things on his tab," Asuma chuckled, just glad his son had chosen his father as the target and not him. Naruto grinned cheekily at his grandfathers' continued anguish, and went through a quick series of handsigns. "Back up!" Asuma suddenly shouted. The table cleared quickly.

" _ **Kuchiyose no Jutsu! Triple Threat!**_ " three simultaneous puffs of smoke roughly the size of Akamaru, who whined, appeared, then cleared to reveal Naruto's personal summons; Gamakichi of the Toads, Karimaru of the Crows, and Hatsu of the Ospreys. "Hey guys, wassup?"

" **Naruto! What's up big bro? Need some help?** " Gamakichi spoke for all three.

"Nah, thought you guys would like to relax with me and some friends, maybe chow some grub with us." the summons then seemed to realize just where they were and how many people were around. They'd had to put four separate tables together to make enough room for the whole group. Kichi's eyes widened at the sight of a bowl of mints, and Hatsu's widened at the sight of the dog currently growling in his face. "Kiba, control your partner." Akamaru was grabbed by his scruff as he whined once more.

"You... you have three contracts?" Zabuza queried, his eyes wide. Naruto nodded with a smirk.

"So, you have three summoning contracts, the _Rinnegan_ , the Uzumaki manifestation Kekkei, and you're the grandson of the Third Hokage, all while being ANBU level."

"Don't forget his _other_ advantage," Kakashi said somewhat bitterly. Zabuza and Haku had been informed of Naruto's Jinchuuriki status shortly after receiving their ranks, on account of the fact they would likely be running missions with him quite often in the future.

"Gaki, if you ever split off from Konoha, remind me to follow you. It would be suicidal to piss you off." Naruto almost frowned at how close the new Jounin had come to his plans. Almost.

"Everyone, meet Gamakichi- Kichi leave the mints alone- Karimaru, and Hatsu, my three personal summons from the Toads, Crows and Ospreys respectively. Guys, meet everyone." The Genin all gaped at the blond as he leaned back into his bench seat, sligning his arm over the back, that damn smirk still on his face as his purple eyes stared at them. Finally, Hiruzen stood up with a sigh and dejectedly joined the large group at the table.

"Why, Naruto? Why must you do this to me constantly?" he bemoaned of his grandson. Naruto flicked his eyes to the man, his face hardening slightly.

"I know for certain you know the exact reason, Hiruzen. Just be grateful I'm only running up your tab. We both know I could do much worse." Everyone flinched at the steel in his voice, inclusing the waiters as they brought out the platters of food.

Hiruzen appeared to age before their very eyes.

"Yes," he groaned. "I know. I was just hoping you'd have been satisfied by now, is all." Naruto looked at him coldly for a few more moments, before shrugging good-naturedly.

"Maybe a few more times, Jiji. After that, all will be forgiven." Hiruzen sighed dejectedly once more, but acquiesced. He turned to start eating- he was there and paying for it, might as well enjoy some food- only to freeze in abject horror as he beheld the petite, extremely feminine form of Yuki Haku shoveling barbecue down her gullet faster than the entire Akimichi clan combined. Choji was looking on in awe and horror himself. He'd only seen this type of thing when Naruto ate Ramen. As for the blond, he quirked a yellow brow at the young woman's dedication to her Food of the Gods.

" **Naruto-nii-san,** " Karimaru said slowly as he too stared at the spectacle before the group. " **Is this normal behavior for humans?** " the young _Rinnegan_ wielder reached over and absently covered Hatsu's widening eyes with one hand and Karimaru's with the other.

"No, Maru. No it is not. Believe me when I say this is something I have never personally beheld," everyone glanced at him briefly, exasperation on their faces. "But everyone has one food that they can eat non-stop. Haku-san apparently is addicted to Barbecue, Zabs, is it any kind, or just beef?"

"If it cooks on a slab and it's seasoned with Barbecue salt, she'll down it," Zabuza answered in resignation. He had made the mistake of feeding Haku Barbecue once, and he regretted it. Being a Nuke-nin on a budget did not go well with feeding a million-ryo addiction. "We might want to start eating before it's all gone. Trust me." everyone then realized their predicament, and hunger, and got some meat before it vanished down the chute of the black-haired young jounin female. Naruto made three smaller servings for his summons and then made himself a plate, waiting for everyone else to take a bite first before doing so himself.

 _ **Still doing that? You do know even if it was poisoned, I could cycle it out of your system before it could affect you.**_

 _Old habits die hard, Kurama. Plus, it's common courtesy. Take someone to lunch, let them take first bite._

 _ **But you aren't paying.**_

 _I still invited them._ Kurama fell silent as everyone continued eating. When the waiter came back and asked if anyone wanted more, Zabuza, Hiruzen, and Jozun all shouted 'no' vehemently before Haku or Choji could say yes. Just as he placed his bowl down, Itachi twitched slightly, catching the attention of Jozun, Sasuke, and Naruto, who knew he never flinched or twitched like that, which could mean only one thing.

"Ita-koi!" the sudden cry alerted everyone a moment before a brown-haired woman in a Chuunin Flak glomped the Stoic man from behind, slamming his face into the table. Jozun was about to laugh, when he too flinched, but much more violently.

"Jozu-kun!" several snakes shot from the sleeves of one Mitarashi Anko from where she stood in the doorway, wrapped around the Jounin, and yanked him into the woman's waiting grasp, which promptly slammed shut on his spine like a vice, expelling the air from his lungs forcefully.

"Hi... Anko.." he wheezed out with what breath he had, his face slowly turning blue.

"Kisa," Itachi said grumpily, his face still pressed to the wood before him. "What have we said about glomping?" Kisa stuck her tongue out at the man and giggled.

"YOU said not to, but _I_ said yes."

"And as everyone knows," Anko said for her brunette companion.

"The women are always right!" They, along with Kurenai all finished chirpily.

"Anko... breathe... need... air..." Jozun managed to say, his face now an alarming shade of puce, causing the purple-haired woman to sigh and release him. He quickly filled his lungs with as much as they could hold, gasping like he'd almost died, Naruto, for his part, turned slowly to his father with a maniacal, teasing grin on his lips and his ringed orbs glinting with unhidden glee.

"So, Tou-chan," Asuma flinched as his mouth fell open in horror, his cigarette falling from his lips. "How long have you and Kurenai-san been together, and why haven't you brought her home?" Every head snapped to the man, and Kurenai- who was bright, cherry red- as she realized she'd given it away by joining the catcall. Konohamaru's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Hiruzen chuckled mirthfully, glee evident on his face. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata grew cheshire grins, sharing mischievous looks. Kakashi... opened his book.

"I.. we... but... they..." Asuma spluttered incoherently. No-one moved for several moments, then Naruto was suddenly sprinting down the street full tilt, being chased by Asuma, with Hiruzens' bellowing laughter following them.

"GET BACK HERE, SARUTOBI NARUTO!"

"OBA-CHAN!" Naruto hollered at the top of his lungs, trying to get his voice to carry to the Clan compound and be heard by his aunt.

"TOU-CHAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"


	35. Chapter 35: Exam! The First Proctor!

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I've been struggling with... some issues I have.**

 **Chapter 25: Exam! The First Proctor!**

"Are you sure you have everything, Naruto-kun?"

"Yes, Oba-chan."

"Food, weapons, seals?"

"I've got everything, Oba-chan."

"But what if..."

"Oba-chan, I'm pretty sure I can take whatever the Chuunin Exams can dish out. And shouldn't you be harassing Tou-chan some more? He's trying to sneak out the door behind you right now, by the way," Naruto said calmly as he ate his oatmeal. A loud curse followed by a bang and a whine followed his words as his aunt dragged her older brother to the table to eat by his ear.

"Oh no, Aniki. You are going to sit right here and eat what I cook you. You are not sneaking off to eat at a restaurant with Kurenai-san."

"But siiiiiiiis," Asuma whined childishly as a bowl of oatmeal was set in front of him. He turned away from pouting at his sister to glaring at his son. "I blame you for this." Naruto shrugged nonchalantly.

"Shouldn't have tried hiding it, tou-chan." the rest of the meal went by in relative silence, before the blonde pushed away his bowl and rose, popping his back.

"I've got t o meet Sasuke and Sakura at he Academy entrance. I'll see you all later! Tou-chan, you might want to hurry so Ino doesn't gripe!" As he left the front door, Konohamaru and Kasi's calls of good luck followed in his wake. His short walk through the compound to the gate was filled with the members of the Sarutobi clan wishing him luck today, and his silent nods of thanks. He stepped foot outside the gate, and took to the rooftops, making it to the Academy in short order.

"Hey Naruto."

"Hey Sasuke. Kakashi and Jozun not here yet?" Sasuke shook his head in denial just as Sakura and Jozun walked up.

"Yo!" the jounin stated with a grin, raising one hand in greeting. "Kakashi got called out on a mission, so it's just me today." Naruto nodded assent, then turned to his teammates.

"You two ready?" he got dual nods of determination. "then let's go." with that he threw the doors open and walked in, flanked on either side by the two Genin. He didn't see two blurs appear next to Jozun.

"Drat," Haku snapped her fingers in annoyance. "I was hoping to see him before he went inside."

"You seem awfully obsessed with the Gaki," Zabuza quipped as he glared mild daggers after the blond.

"I wanted to wish him luck, what's wrong with that?"

"You wouldn't be so disappointed if that was all you wanted," Jozun said with a grin. Haku turned bright red and sputtered an incoherent denial. "So, you have the hots for him, eh? Can't really blame you, at least a third of the female population of the village feels the same." Haku blushed brighter as the other two Jounin walked away laughing.

 **With Team Seven**

"Wow, we got here fairly early, but there's still this huge crowd," Sasuke stated with a bit of awe, and a frown. "But wait..."

"Yes, this is only the second floor," Naruto cut him off quietly. "It's another layer of the exam. You to go on ahead to the third floor, I want to see something." the two nodded and slipped around the side of the crowd, climbing the stairs quickly as the blonde strolled through the crowd, the Genin subconsciously making way for his powerful presence. He almost had to laugh when he got to the front of the crowd.

"Of course it's Kotetsu and Izumo," he chuckled to himself.

"Let us through!" one Genin called from the crowd. A _Henge_ 'd Kotetsu smirked and flapped his hand dismissively.

"Think of this as us doing you a favor. These exams are tough, and most of you won't make it."

"Yeah," Izumo said calmly. "If you can't make it past us, then you should probably just turn around and go home." Naruto sensed Teams Eight and Ten discreetly slip around the crowd and up the stairs, and he grinned, then stepped out from the gathering, turning towards the stairs in full view of everyone.

"Keep up the good work, Izumo. Kotetsu," he waved over his shoulder without looking back. He heard them choke slightly at the sight of him, but the reaction of the Genin was far funnier to him.

"What an idiot. Why is going to the roof?"

"He must not want to be in the Exam."

"Loser."

Naruto made it as far as the sparring well when he was stopped.

"You there! I wish to challenge you!" he couldn't hide his foxy grin as he turned to see none other than Rock Lee.

"Hey Lee, how's Gai doing?" the green-clad boy looked surprised, his thick eyebrows shooting into his bowl-cut hair.

"You know Gai-sensei? And how do you know my name?"

"Yeah, Gai is a friend of my Dad's. And we had a few academy classes together when the grades mixed. My name's Sarutobi Naruto." Lee gave a glinting grin and a thumbs up as he struck the standard 'nice-guy' pose. "But I don't really have time to spar with you. I've got to catch up with my team, so I'll see you in the Exam, ne?" Naruto waved over his shoulder lazily as he walked away. Within moments, he stood before Sasuke and Sakura, the door leading to exam room before them.

"Well, Naruto?"

"Small disturbance. Don't worry about it. Now, what say we make an impression with our entrance?"

"And draw attention to ourselves?" Sakura asked with clear irritation. Naruto shook his head with a smirk.

"Draw attention to _me_. I can almost guarantee no-one in there will be able to even touch me, and they'll basically ignore you two. So, on that note..." Naruto faced the door and focused on it for a moment.

" _ **Shinra Tensei!**_ "

 **Inside the exam room**

"Oh boy..." Kiba sighed as he heard the shout. He and the other Rookie Nine that were already inside immediately hit the deck, their hands covering their heads and their faces pressed into the ground. The door blasted off the hinges and plowed over a few of the slower-moving Genin, finally burying itself in the wall opposite the entryway.

 **In the hidden Proctor cubby**

Multiple sweatdrops appeared in the dark.

"Stupid... gah! Why is he always so damn flashy!"

"Wouldn't be Naruto otherwise, man."

"True..."

 **With Naruto**

Naruto strolled right in, his hands behind his head calmly, whistling slightly. He stopped when he felt the _pitiful_ KI of the Genin amassed before him. He smirked.

 _Wrong game to play with me, Kiddies._ With that thought, he released a wave of his own KI over the crowd, and a few people vomited, while others looked ready to faint.

"I'll say it once!" Naruto said calmly, his voice carrying in the silence. "You all are my **BITCHES.** " Everyone within a foot-wide radius took a massive step back to get away from the psychotic blond before them. Except for one red-head, who walked right up to him with a sigh and a shake of the head.

"Naruto..."

"Oh hey, Gaara. What's up?"

"Nothing much, you just almost crushed Temari with your door stunt." Naruto looked sheepish for a moment.

"My bad." he then turned to the crowd who were watching him for some indication of something. "Can I help you?" everyone quickly went back to their own conversations, sweating slightly. The rest of the Rookie Nine quickly came over to talk to Naruto and his team.

"Naruto-kun," Hinata started in a dangerous voice. "Was that really necessary?"

"Are you saying you wanted them to stay focused on all of you instead of just me Hinata-chan?"

"Naruto-san is right, Hinata," Shino said in monotone as he adjusted his glasses. "That's because if he had not made a flashy entrance, all of us, being Rookies fresh out the Academy, would still have massive targets painted on our backs."

"Yeah," Choji put in around his mouthful of chips. "I heard a group from Kiri saying we'd be easy prey or something." Naruto's brow crinkled.

"Kiri?" Choji nodded as if it didn't matter. "Kirigakure is here?"

"That's what he said isn't it?" Ino said with slight annoyance. Naruto sat down, his legs crossed, an obvious thinking face on.

"So even Kiri came... that means all five of the Major Nations are here, along with a few of the smaller nations...hmmm..."

"That's right!" came a cheery voice. As a silver-haired teen came up to the group with a smile, which turned into a frown upon seeing Naruto. "Uzumaki," he hissed disdainfully.

"Yakushi!" Naruto snapped to a light combat stance with a snarl. "What are you doing here? Planning on dropping out right at the start of the third round again? Another failure on the tally board?" visible lightning appeared between the two as they glared at each other.

"Not this time, Uzumaki, this time I'm going all the way just for a chance to kick your ass."

"Fat chance, Four-eyes. You couldn't hit the broad side of the Hokage Monument if you tried."

"Loser."

"Failure."

"Idiot."

"No-talent jackass." the teen's face turned bright red in rage at that.

"No-talent!?"

"You heard me," Naruto replied with a smug smirk. "How else could you fail the Chuunin Exams six times?"

"How do you know about those?!"

"My Jiji is the Hokage you fucking idiot." Just as Naruto and the teen only identified as 'Yakushi' were about to come to blows, Sasuke stepped between them, discreetly pushing Naruto back as best he could.

"Hi, I'm..."

"Uchiha Sasuke. I'm Yakushi Kabuto, nice to meet you." Almost everyone had to sweatdrop at the 180 Kabuto's demeanor had taken as soon as it was someone other than Naruto in his face.

"How do you know my name?"

"I collect intel on everyone competing in the Chuunin Exams. Some more willingly than others," he said, shooting another glare at Naruto "I store it all on these Shinobi Info Cards tuned to my Chakra." The blond stormed up.

"Show me the number of Genin Teams from each country."

"What, no 'please'?"

"You're lucky I'm putting any stock in something you made at all, so don't push it Yakushi. But if you can't do it, I shouldn't be surprised, should I?" Naruto said nonchalantly as he turned around with a shrug, causing Kabuto to growl with annoyance. He then quickly whipped out a single card and channeled Chakra into it.

"Here. There's ten teams from each of the Big Five, five from Kusa, three from Ame, one from Taki, and one from Oto."

"One hundred and eighty Genin?" Naruto said quietly, thinking out loud. "What's that old codger thinking?"

"Have you got intel on specific people?" Gaara asked suddenly, appearing in the group. Kabuto nodded. "Kurotsuchi of Iwa, Samui of Kumo, Chojuro of Kiri, Fu of Taki, and Karin of Kusa, please."

"Knowing their names takes all the fun out of it," Kabuto grumbled as he whipped out five cards and channeled Chakra through them. "Let's see... Kurotsuchi, Granddaughter of the third Tsuchikage, Taijutsu is above Average, Kenjutsu is almost non-existant, as is Genjutsu. But her Ninjutsu is off the Charts. Oh, she also has Lava Release! Her Teammates are both Civilian Born and he Jounin-sensei is named Akatsuchi." Naruto looked at the card, then at the crowd, finding the girl quickly. They leveled blank stares at each other, sizing up the competition. Then they nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Samui of Kumo," Kabuto continued. "Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Kenjutsu are all fairly strong, and Genjutsu is above average. Her Teammates are Twins- Omoi and Karui, and her Sensei is named Kirabi." Naruto glanced quickly at the girl, and noticed her developing bust was large for her age.

 _ **Kit, Kirabi was the name of the Hachibi's Jinchuuriki in the Third War. I remember Minato telling Kushina about it.**_

 _Thanks, Kurama._

"Chojuro of Kiri... hmm... his Kenjutsu seems to be his only skill aside from some Ninjutsu. Ahh, that's why. He's technically a member of the Seven Mist Swordsman." Naruto stiffened at the mention of that group. Zabuza wouldn't be happy. "His teammates are also Civilians and his Sensei is named Ao."

"Fu of Taki," Kabuto said with a slight gleam. "Oh... interesting."

"What's interesting?" Gaara asked.

"She willingly admits to being the Jinchuuriki of the Nanabi, because apparently she has full control over it." Naruto and Gaara stiffened imperceptibly, their eyes flicking to meet. "Her Nin, and Taijutsu are incredible, but her Genjutsu is non-existent."

"And Finally Karin of Kusa. Full name is Uzumaki Karin, and she's apparently a sensory and medic type. Her Ninjutsu is okay, and her Genjutsu is good, but her Taijutsu is weak."

"Wait... Uzumaki?" Naruto said slowly. Kabuto nodded with a frown, then made the connection, and he smirked.

"I wouldn't hold out hope you're related. You were just given the name so you had one, in remembrance of a great Kunoichi." Naruto snorted.

"Shows what you know," he muttered under his breath. Then he blurred through some handseals after biting his thumb. Hatsu appeared in a small puff of smoke.

" **Wha? Naru-nii? Who are all these people?** "

"We're in the Chuunin Exams, Hatsu. But focus!" the bird snapped to attention. "I need you to fly to Ame at fastest speed and find the tallest tower, you'll find Nagato there. When you find him, tell him The waves will crash at their appointed time, and none can change the flow of Eddies. He'll know what it means." the Osprey nodded, then flew out the window Naruto opened for him. "I wouldn't try that if I were you," the blond said without looking, feeling a trio of Ame Genin trying to sneak up and hold him hostage.

"Who are you, and why are you contacting Pain-sama? What business have you with a god?" Naruto turned around and lounged against the wall.

"That is none of your business."

"Yes it is, he is our leader."

"And his business has nothing to do with you. Get lost." the Genin stormed away while Kabuto stared at Naruto in confusion.

"When did you get a summoning Contract?" Naruto smirked.

"None of your business, Yakushi." Kabuto frowned even more, but turned back to the larger group.

 **With Karin and her team**

 _Why was he so interested in me? And he has the Uzumaki contract Kaa-san told me about... could we be related?_ Karin thought as she shifted her glasses on the bridge of her nose.

 **Back with the Rookie Nine and Kabuto**

"Any _other_ surprises Uzumaki?" Kabuto nearly snarled.

"You'll just have to see, won't you Yakushi?" Naruto snapped back. Kabuto growled and turned back to Gaara.

"If I were you I would watch who I associate with. Some Leaf Shinobi are.. shall we say; _suspect_."

"Ah, he finally admits it!" Naruto said with a his hands wide as if it were raining Ramen. "He finally admits he's suspicious!"

"I was talking about you, you moron!"

"Oh really? Because I'm not the one who's under ANBU Surveillance!" Kabuto looked both surprised and skeptical, but was visibly shocked when two ANBU appeared next to Naruto, quite visibly angry. The purple-haired cat-masked ANBU spoke.

"Goddamnit, Uzumaki! You aren't supposed to alert people about our presence!"

"Oh, come on Neko-chan! You're here watching the Chuunin Exams for Jiji! I couldn't pass up the chance! I mean look at that assholes' face! He really thought you were here for him! Even you have to admit that's funny!" The brown-haired Sparrow smothered a chuckle, drawing the blond's attention.

"I haven't forgotten you or Hawk, Sparrow," Naruto said menacingly with narrowed eyes. The ANBU fidgeted as he felt Neko glaring at him from behind her mask.

"And just what is it Uzumaki would remember, Sparrow?"

"Well, see, uh... that is..."

"Pop Quiz!" Naruto suddenly said brightly as he unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off, revealing his bare torso, to the horror of everyone within sight range. "Who knows what happens when Fire Chakra is Channeled through a Kunai laced with flammable poison?" not a soul spoke as they bore witness to Naruto's chest and back. Scars covered every inch of flesh until the shoulders, where a shirt would hide them. Slash marks, stab scars, and burn scars marred the tan flesh of Naruto's torso, and his back appeared to have been the most offended region. It appeared to everyone as though someone had taken a whip to him while it was burning. Naruto stood tall as he dropped his dark orange jacket and crossed his arms, causing his pectorals and biceps to ripple. His glare leveled on the ANBU before him, his rage fluctuating his Chakra and causing the Genjutsu placed over his Eyes to dispel, revealing the _**Rinnegan**_ in all it's glory.

"Oh my god..." Ino whispered as she covered her mouth in horror. Hinata, Kiba, Choji, and Sakura all ran to the nearest trash can and emptied the contents of their stomachs into it. Naruto continued to glare at Sparrow even as he felt every eye in the room turn to him in curiosity, and then away from him in horror and repulsion.

 **With the Oto Team**

"Holy fucking shit!" the taller male Genin said as he stared openly at the Blond who'd earlier made a flashy entrance. "Dosu, he looks more fucked up than you!"

"I noticed, Zaku. Kin, your thoughts?"

"If he's alive after whatever caused _that_ , he's obviously tough. I'm not sure even going near him is a good idea."

"Agreed," both of her teammates said quietly.

 **With Karin**

The red-head had to do everything possible to avoid vomiting. Even if this person were a complete stranger, this would be horrifying. The possibility of him being family made it so much worse. She wanted to look away, but couldn't tear her eyes from the gruesome scars covering his body.

 **With the Proctors**

"Kami... what kind of hell did he go through?! Do you see the drill marks around his kidneys? Ibiki, did you know about this?"

Morino Ibiki, the most physically scarred person in Konoha, or so he thought, and an expert in Torture and Interrogation shook his head, obviously greatly disturbed.

 **Back with Naruto**

"So, Sparrow, since I know at least two other ANBU Teams are recording this whole thing and getting the info to Hokage-jiji, I don't think you'll be in the force for much longer. Consider yourself lucky I kept this a secret for as long as I did, you piece of shit. Your punishment would have been much worse if I hadn't lied to Hokage-sama all those years ago."

"Why would you lie for him?!" Sasuke almost screamed, visibly shaken by the gruesome sight.

"Because," Naruto said calmly. "I didn't know any better. I didn't know not everyone was out to get me. I thought every single person in the Village, Hokage-jiji included, wanted me dead. I thought they'd get rewarded. I wouldn't give them the fucking satisfaction. So I told Hiruzen that some Rogue Shinobi had gotten in and Sparrow and Hawk had saved me before they killed me." Neko finally snapped and lunged at Sparrow, tackling him to the ground and wrapping her hands around his neck.

"YOU! PIECE! OF! SHIT!" she screamed, each word punctuated by her slamming his head into the floor violently. "To think I actually respected you for that! He was FOUR FUCKING YEARS OLD YOU BASTARD!" she seemed ready to kill the man in cold blood before three more ANBU became visible and restrained her, although everyone could tell they did it very reluctantly. Sparrow sat up, rubbing his throat and coughing, when a large puff of smoke appeared in the front of the room.

"That's enough!" Morino Ibiki roared over the noise. "Uzumaki! Put your fucking Jacket back on! Lizard!" said ANBU became visible. "Remove Sparrow and take him to a cell, I'll be talking with him after this exam. Lizard saluted and vanished with Sparrow. "The rest of you, find a seat, and for fucks' sake, ANBU get out of here!" all the ANBU vanished as the Genin found seats as the Proctors took their registration papers and gave them tiles with numbers without much organization.

"Uzumaki, was that entirely necessary?" Ibiki asked, gritting his teeth.

"Sorry, Morino. I couldn't stop myself once I saw him." Ibiki sighed and gestured to the only remaining open seat.

"Whatever. Sit down and we'll get started." Naruto took his seat, re-zipping his hoodie and covering the scars, to the relief of everyone present. Ibiki then began speaking.

"The written test will commence shortly, but first I'll explain the rules. Each person starts with ten points. For each question you get wrong, a point is subtracted. Every time you're caught cheating, two are taken away."

 _Ahh, he's going with the impossible situation. My guess is when I flip this test over, they'll be questions no Genin could answer. So we have to successfully spy- or cheat in this case- without getting caught._

 _ **Didn't he try something similar when you had to get your psych eval for your Chuunin Promotion the first time?**_

 _Yeah. Ibiki was the only one Jiji trusted with the knowledge of my Shinobi status, so he did all my evals. Oral reports only, cause if it went down on paper, there'd be a trail, which would defeat the purpose of a 'Shadow Shinobi'._

 _ **Hmm. I never understood why you weren't officially registered until this year.**_

 _Peace time, Jinchuuriki, Civilian idiocy._

 _ **Ahh, that whole schpiel.**_

 _Yep._ Naruto flipped over his paper when he heard Morino say 'start' and smirked when he saw the questions. _Like I thought. No Genin could answer these, unless it's Shika and possibly Haruno._

 _ **The pink banshee is scribbling on her paper.**_

 _I noticed. Welp..._ The blond jinchuuriki blazed through the test with the speed and knowledge only a seasoned Shinobi could. He flipped it over to cover his answers and idly drew a quick seal to prevent the _ **Byakugan**_ from seeing through the paper, seeing as Hinata was sitting right next to him, and Neji, her older cousin, was somewhere behind and to the left of him. Then, he started idly flipping his pencil in the air and catching it on one finger, resting his chin on his other hand with a bored sigh.

"Uzumaki, what are you doing?" Ibiki suddenly asked with a hard glare.

"Waiting for the tenth question," came the monotone reply as Naruto flipped his pencil once more.

"It's only been twenty minutes."

"Yeah, I know."

"There's no possible way you could have answered those questions so fast." Ibiki had to put on a show, didn't he?"

"I answered the ones I knew, decided to not try the rest." Ibiki's eyebrow twitched at Naruto's nonchalant attitude.

"So you're going to willingly lose points?" Naruto shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"You said yourself that we only fail if our points reach zero." another eye twitch. Naruto sent a nearly imperceptible smirk at the test proctor, acknowledging that Ibiki was losing in a battle of mind games. Ibiki smothered an annoyed groan as he had to concede. Naruto sensed a few small chakra pulses from various points in the room as Hinata and Neji actived their Dojutsu, trying to see his answers. He noticed a few grains of sand floating about, nearly invisible they were so small. He brushed them away with a grin. And he gently picked up a small beetle the at tried crawling under his paper.

He raised the Kikachu on the tip of his finger so he knew Shino saw it, and he could practically feel all the annoyance in the room increase as he thwarted every attempt at cheating off his paper.

When Shikamaru's shadow connected to his and tried forcing his hand to flip the test, presumably so a mirror set up on the ceiling could catch the answers and reflect it, he simply pulsed his chakra just enough to break the jutsu. He heard Izumo, now himself and un-henged, lean to Kotetsu and whisper to him.

"Is it considered cheating if he pulses his chakra but doesn't move?"

"Probably not."

"Shit." Naruto openly smirked at the pair, who scowled in response.

When he felt Ino's _Mind Body Switch Jutsu_ hit him, he wasn't bothered. He felt Kurama roar at the girl, and she quickly vacated his mind, shuddering slightly, obviously unsure of what the hell had just happened. The minutes ticked by as Naruto repelled attemtp after attempt at using him, most were not quite so eloquent as his friends' attempts had been, and more than a few people were called out. Finally, the clock reached the ten-minute mark and Ibiki called for pencils down.

"It's time for the tenth question!"

"About time!" Naruto crowed. "I was about to start playing cards!"

"No you weren't," Sasuke called from his spot. Naruto lened backwards and looked at the Uchiha upside down.

"You never know, I could have been."

"What stakes?" Kotetsu suddenly asked. Naruto grinned and shot Sasuke a smug look.

"Two hundred buy-in."

"Enough!" Ibiki roared just as Kotetsu appeared ready to answer. "Moving on! Before I gove you the tenth question, you each have to decide whether or not to take it!"

"What do you mean?" Kiba called out.

"If you don't take the tenth question, your points drop to zero, and you and your team fail."

"Then why wouldn't we take it?!" Temari called out in an angry voice. Ibiki smirked evilly.

"Because," he said, raising a gloved hand. "If you accept the question, and get it wrong, then you can **never take the Chuunin exams again and will be stuck as a Genin for the rest of your life!** **"** Ibiki said as Naruto appeared under him with a flashlight and a gong, casting the man's face in shadow and giving the gong an ominous ring as Ibiki finished his statement. "Uzumaki, get back to your seat!" Naruto guffawed heartily as he obeyed. "Goddamnit I thought you were done with the pranks!"

"That wasn't a prank," Naruto said simply. He gestured at the crowd of Genin, most of whom were quaking. "It was atmospheric enhancement." Ibiki sighed and ran his hands down his face.

"How can that be the case if there are people here who have taken the Chuunin exams before?" Temari again asked, giving Naruto a weird look.

"You just had the bad luck to get me as the proctor this time," Ibiki answered with a grim smirk as Naruto once again threw most of his face into shadow with a flashlight, enhanced by Kotetsu turning off the room lights this time, followed by another ominous gong ring. "GODDAMNIT UZUMAKI! SIT DOWN OR I'LL FAIL YOU RIGHT NOW!" he roared as he slammed a fist over Naruto's head, looking for all the world like Iruka back in the Academy. Naruto returned to his seat, rubbing his head and grumbling under his breath. Ibiki waited a few minutes while several people raised their hands and failed, keeping his glare on Naruto to make sure he stayed in his seat.

Naruto for his part was resting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair with his feet on the table, humming merrily to himself, as though he were at home and not in an exam, after having mentally scarred several people multiple times since he showed up. Several people noticed his not-so-subtle relaxation and seemed to take ques from the blond who had caused so much havoc.

"No-one else?" Ibiki asked. His answer was silence. He broke into a grin. "Then congratulations, you all pass!" as he threw his hands out wide,a Naruto appeared on either side of him, popping confetti guns with large grins and striking silly poses. Ibiki growled as he bashed both over the head, one with each fist, dispelling the shadow clones.

" **UZUMAKI!** " he began chasing the blond around the room, shouting curses and threats of painful torture and strangling as Naruto ran around the room in circles, laughing hysterically as he stayed just out of reach. Kotetsu and Izumo sighed and decided to explain the test for the confused Genin.

"There was no tenth question beyond accepting to take it or not," Izumo said as he stepped back to avoid being barreled over by the still-running duo.

"As Chuunin, there will be missions you might not come back from- getting it wrong and staying Genin forever- bu that doesn't mean you can deny them for safer missions later," Kotetsu supplied before anyone could ask questions. "There might not be another chance."

"Then the other nine questions were pointless?" Kurotsuchi piped up for the first time that day.

"No, they were to test your spying aptitude," Izumo explained. "Chuunins are expected to undergo infiltration missions, and failure through not being good at it can lead to..."

"Things like you saw earlier," Kotetsu finished, gesturing at Naruto as he continued to run from Ibiki.

"He failed an ifiltration mission?" Karin asked angrily.

"No, but the results could be similar. Ibiki would show you what I mean if he wasn't... preoccupied."

"You two sure seem to know an awful lot about being Chuunins," Sasuke said with a wry grin. The two stiffened and turned mechanically toward the Uchiha.

"That's because they're the Eternal Chuunins!" Naruto crowed as he ran. Izumo and Kotetsu both went bright cherry red and joined Ibiki in chasing the blond, all three shouting death threats. As he cackled loudly. This continued until Naruto shot back toward them and slid under their legs, confusing them.

"Wha?" Ibiki started, only to be interrupted as the window the ttrio was in front of shattered inward and they all got caught by a flying tarp, becoming entangled as it stuck to the ceiling.


	36. Chapter 36: The Forest of Death!

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter of 'The ANBU Genin', and I want to thank you all for your continued support, it means a lot to me.**

 **Nea-Nyx: I appreciate the insight, and I'll do my best, but like I've said, I don't have much say, the story mostly writes itself. I'm very sorry it's not to your liking, though.**

 **Setokeyba2n: Either you're being sarcastic, or you're not reading the same story I'm writing. I'm inclined to believe the former.**

 **So, it seems to me that the number of haters has drastically dropped to zero since I stopped reacting to them. Hmm.**

 **Let's get it on!**

 **Chapter 36: Anko-chan! The Forest of Death!**

"Of course she would be the next proctor..." Naruto said with a deep belly laugh as Mitarashi Anko appeared in front of the tarp that had captured Ibiki, Kotetsu, and Izumo, holding up a victory sign and sticking her tongue out. "Hey Anko, you missed all the fun!" Anko looked at Naruto with a wide grin, then seemed to count the number of remaining teams.

"Ibiki, why are there thirty teams left?" Ibiki growled as he disentangled himself from the tarp and straightened his trench coat as though nothing had happened, and shot angry glares at Naruto.

"Uzumaki." Anko looked at the blond in question.

"Guilty as charged," he chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. Anko sashayed over to the blond with a smug smirk and high-fived him.

"Alright Gakis, don't get comfortable with the numbers as they are, cause the next test will cut them at least in half! Everyone meet at Training Ground 44 on the northwest outskirts of the Village!" with that, Anko vanished in a puff of smoke, being either a _Kage Bunshin_ or using the _Shunshin_. Naruto immediately stood and gestured to Sasuke and Sakura, who bolted over and grabbed his hands.

"Later losers!" Naruto then vanished in a blur of speed, using the _Shunshin_ flawlessly, and made his way to 44. "Well, we have a few minutes, want some snacks?"

"Sure, whatcha got?" Sasuke asked as he sat down and crossed his ankles.

"Lessee," Naruto muttered as he began rummaging around and looking through all his storage scrolls. "Dango, nato, cookies, chips, sushi, oh I forgot Obaa-chan packed those for me, those'll be handy," he said as he set aside a scroll with the Kanji for 'Dinner' on it in several places along the scroll. "Uh, a few slices of cake, some onigiri, and ah! Here we go, the Sasuke Special as made by Kasi Oba-chaan," Naruto said as he unsealed stuffed tomatoes from a scroll. Sasuke's eyes grew wide as drool began to drip from the corner of his mouth as he eyed the baked food. Naruto moved his hand out of the way not a moment too soon as Sasuke lunged at the treat and began scarfing it down as though he was starving. Sakura looked on in horror as the 'composed' Uchiha made himself look like an Akimichi.

"Did I hear you say Dango?" Anko said as she appeared behind Naruto, looming over him slightly, and found a storage scroll being held over his shoulder to her. She snatched it with a cackle and began to unseal it, but was interrupted by the other Genin arriving. "Awww..." with regret, she stored the scroll in her jacket for later. "Alright, here are the rules! Each team gets one scroll, a Heaven, or an Earth. You will spend five days in Training Ground 44, AKA the Forest of Death!" she said, just as Naruto pulled his little lighting and gong trick from the first exam. "Thanks for the Atmospheric enhancement, Gaki!"

"No problem!"

"Anyway, you'll spend five days in there and you'll have that time to gather both a Heaven AND an Earth scroll. Only with both at the tower in the center of the grounds will you pass this exam."

"Five days?! What about food?!" Choji called out in distress. Anko cackled madly as lightning cracked around her, despite the clear skies.

"That's YOUR problem! Also! If you open the Scrolls before you get to the Tower, you'll be DISQUALIFIED!" Again, Naruto cast her face in shadow and struck his little gong. "Seriously, what is Ibiki's problem with you? You're making this so much better than it normally would be." Naruto shrugged with a dramatic sigh.

"He just doesn't have a flair for the dramatic like you and I, Anko-chan."

"True enough," both Anko and Naruto looked like they were holding a personal funeral for a moment, before Anko got back to her speech.

"This is the lady with a Twenty-six thousand Ryo bounty on her head? This chick isn't nearly as dangerous as the Bingo Book says!" Kiba shouted in disbelief, causing Naruto and Anko to turn mechanically towards him, and a three-foot radius to clear around him in an instant.

"Gaki?"

"Senbon?"

"I was thinking Kunai." before anyone could blink, two Kunai were buried in the ground behind Kiba, with two identical cuts appearing on either cheek, with Anko on the right, licking up the blood. She seemed put off about not seeing Naruto on his left. "Gaki! What the hell!"

"If I was a girl, or he was a girl, that'd be different, Anko-chan. But I'm not doing that to a guy." Anko pouted for a moment, before nodding and turning back to Kiba.

"It's the loudmouths like you that usually die first."

"Speaking of which!"

"Oh yeah! Thanks, Gaki. Everyone has to sign one of these Liability Release Forms!" she said, pulling one such from her jacket and waving it around.

"What for?" Karin called as she observed the blond Uzumaki with more than a little apprehension.

"So Konoha can't be held liable for any deaths that happen," Naruto said with an ominous chuckle. "This is a no-holds barred survival exercise, and some of us ARE going to die in there. The forms are so Konoha isn't held responsible for those deaths, so as to avoid another war and/ or diplomatic incidents."

"Well put Gaki. For every three forms turned in, you receive one scroll. Also, I forgot to mention, you also can't pass this exam unless you have all three team members mobile and combat-ready." Naruto heard a snort of annoyance from Kurotsuchi and her team, as well as the Oto team. He ignored it for now. After the forms were distributed, he and his team were the first up to the booth. They stepped behind the curtain and handed in their forms, and Anko handed Naruto a Heaven scroll after making sure all the forms were completely filled out. A quick application of Chakra to his palm, and a small brush stroke from a calligraphy brush he kept in his waist pouch, and the scroll vanished into a storage seal on his palm. Then, they walked a gate over and settled in to wait.

Naruto was sizing up each group for major threats to his teammates, when his thoughts were interrupted by Anko yelling from the distributing booth.

"YOU REALLY THOUGHT I WOULDN'T CHECK THE FORMS YOU IDIOT!? GET THE FUCK BACK OUT THERE AND FINISH THESE FORMS OR I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!" he looked over just as Anko kicked the Oto team out of the booth and onto their asses, all three blinking owlishly. He chuckled and went back to surveilance. He also noted Kurotsuchi paled considerably and hurriedly bent back over her packet with pen in hand.

The wait for everyone to get their scroll and get to a gate was interminable, made all the more so by the fact that Sakura kept interrupting his meditation to ask questions about the scroll he'd given her to study.

"How does this technique work?"

"I don't know, Haruno. My Chakra control isn't fine enough for either Genjutsu or Medical Ninjutsu because of my massive reserves."

"What, seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Sasuke," he felt the Uchiha perk up at being addressed. "What happened when I tried to show you the leaf-holding exercise before Iruka did?"

"The leaf got obliterated as soon as you started channeling Chakra."

"Any idea why that is?"

"The amount needed was so small, you physically couldn't pull it off. It's also why you can't do normal _**bunshin**_ in lower numbers than fifty." Naruto nodded decisively, his eyes never opening, and his body never moving from the lotus position.

"An apt analysis," he said just before he perked his head to the right, rising and dusting himself off, opening his eyes for the first time since getting to the gate.

" **Alright, Gakis!** " Anko's voice boomed over the speaker. " **The test starts in a moment. I have one last piece of advice for you, though;** "

"Don't die," Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Have fun," Sasuke grunted.

"Wha?" Sakura questioned.

" **DON'T DIE!** " the speaker boomed as the gate shot open, allowing Naruto into his favorite training ground. One the gate was hidden by the tree-line, Naruto stopped and turned to Sasuke with a smug smirk and his hand held out expectantly. Sasuke grumbled in annoyance as he dug around in his pocket, pulled out three-hundred ryo, and slapped them into the blond's waiting hand. After pocketing the money, Naruto bit his thumb and flashed through some hand signs quickly.

" _ **Kuchiyose: Single serve!**_ " as he slammed his palm to the ground, Hatsu appeared in a puff of smoke and looked around.

" **What's up!** "

"Hatsu, I need you to fly recon. Keep an eye out for any other Genin teams, and if possible see if you can eavesdrop and see if they have an Earth scroll. But!" he added, raising his finger in warning before the Osprey could take off. "Be careful. This forest is home to massive animals that can, and will, swallow you whole."

" **Gee, thanks. I really appreciate being summoned to the Forest of Death during the Chuunin Exams and run the risk of getting EATEN!** "

"Would you rather I use Kichi?" Naruto asked with a deadpan stare.

" **... Good point.** " Hatsu took off and quickly vanished from sight as the three humans began tree-hopping again, heading deeper into the forest. They ran for close to two uneventful hours before they had to stop.

"Kuukukukukukuku, hello again, Naruto-kun..."

"Fuck. Me. Running."

 **With the Hokage, Ibiki, and Anko**

Anko had sent a Shadow Clone to the Hokage with news about the corpses they'd found.

"There's no doubt about it! Orochimaru is in that fucking forest!"

"Be that as it may, we have several high-level ANBU patrolling the perimeter, a full squad in the tower on call, and Naruto-kun as well."

"About that..."

"Is there something you aren't telling me Ibiki?"

"Yes, sir. It's about Naruto's last psych eval..."

"You told me he was fit for duty."

"And he is... mostly..." Hiruzen steepled his fingers and leveled his coldest glare at the man.

"You have ten seconds to explain before I throw you from the window, Morino Ibiki."

"Naruto IS fit for duty, and his PTSD has been significantly lessened in regards to impact on his mental health."

"I'm sensing a 'but', here Biki-kun," Anko's _**Kage Bunshin**_ cut in with a low growl. Ibiki started sweating.

"But," he flinched out. "At any given moment, Uzumaki Naruto is on the edge of a complete psychotic break. If someone he cares for is threatened..."

"And you didn't say something sooner... why?" Hiruzen asked with venom.

"I... didn't want to see him pulled from the force, sir. He cares too much about others and the title of Hokage. I couldn't be the one to take that dream from him..."

"And the fact that he has quite a significant amount of blackmail on you has nothing to do with your choice?" Ibiki's face hardened at the implication.

"You should know better than anyone, Hokage-sama. I would never let risk to myself stop me from doing my job. I couldn't really care less if he can blackmail the hell out of me. The only thing that was stopping me earlier was concern for that young man. The only reason I'm telling you now,"

"Is because Orochimaru will most likely target Sasuke," Hiruzen cut him off with a tired sigh as he massaged his temples. He looked to the purple-haired woman, who nodded and dispelled.

 **With the Real Anko**

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck" Anko chanted to herself as she received the memories from her clone. This was not going to be pretty. She'd seen the Gaki lose it once, and was legitimately scared for her friend.

 **With Naruto and Co**

Naruto was holding one katana in a defensive kata, his face hard as he stepped in front of Sasuke.

"Kukukukukuku, so guarded. What's wrong, Naruto-kun? Can't I come talk to my favorite person in the Leaf?"

"Shove it you pedophilic freak."

"Naruto who is she?" Sasuke asked as he flipped out a kunai in a reverse grip. If this Kusa Genin had Naruto on edge, it couldn't be good.

" _He_ ," Naruto stressed the gender. "Is an S-Ranked Nukenin from Konoha that has it out for me."

"S-Ranked?"

"Yup."

"The only two S-ranked Nukenins from Konoha were..."

"Ita-nii-chan and Orochimaru of the Sannin."

"And Nii-san came back, so..."

"Yup."

"Should Sakura and I run?"

"Probably, yeah."

"Oh, Naruto-kun, you should know better than to think they can outrun me, So, Sasuke-kun, why don't you sit down like a good boy and wait your turn?" Naruto snarled and drew his second katana. In a flash, he was in the snake summoner's face, hacking wildly with both hands as Orochimaru weaved in and out of his strikes effortlessly.

"My, my, you've gotten better since I left." Naruto remained silent as he increased the pace of his attacks, hoping to either injure or slow down the psychopath. As he moved to swipe at the Sannin's head, Orochimaru launched his foot out and into Naruto's gut, sending him flying into a tree several yards behind him, his spine bending on impact as he coughed up some blood and his eyes flew open in pain. "Oh, what's this?" Orochimaru appeared in front of the blond, lifting him by his throat. As his grip tightened, cutting off Naruto's air, Naruto did his absolute best to not drop his blades in order to try prying the fingers from his neck to get oxygen once more.

"The _**Rinnegan**_? When did you awaken these eyes? Oh well, I don't suppose you'd mind if I take them? Kukukukukukuku," Orochimaru chuckled as he reached for Naruto's left eye, his fingers poised to rip the orb from it's socket.

 _No choice!_

Gasping for breath, Naruto opened his mouth.

" _ **Gedo Art: Mechanization!**_ " At that, an arm sprouted from his shoulder and slammed it's knuckles into Orochimaru's face, forcing him back several feet. The mechanical whirring of the arm as it clenched and unclenched it's fist before vanishing back into the blond's shoulder.

"So, it truly is the _**Rinnegan**_. I can't wait..." Orochimaru said with a grin as his abnormally long tongue flicked out and licked his lips. "And then, of course, I'll have to get Sasuke-kun's _**Sharingan**_..." At those words, something in Naruto snapped and he stabbed both his Katana into the ground with a snarl of rage. He flashed through hand signs as quickly as he could and punched the ground.

" _ **Kuchiyose: Rikkodou no Naruto!**_ " Naruto screamed as five simultaneous clouds of smoke cleared to reveal five crimson-haired bodies standing in formation before Naruto.

"Six paths of the Maelstrom?" Orochimaru said with confusion, before the meaning clicked in his head. "You've met Pein." the Sannin had to smother a curse under his breath. He was confident against one Naruto, even with the _**Rinnegan**_ , but six? If they were anything like the six paths of Pain, he was in trouble. "I'm surprised you... oh..." he trailed off as he realized Naruto was likely Deva Path. He was at a severe disadvantage, especially without knowing which body was which path. But he doubted Naruto would let him get away without a fight. "Shit..." for the first time in years, Orochimaru actually cursed.

As soon as the word flew from his lips, all six of the Naruto's, sprinted at the man with rage in their faces. This confused Orochimaru. Shouldn't one hang back? He dodged a rocket fist by bending backwards into a backflip and trying to kick the nearest body, which caught his leg and slung him around in a circle towards another, which did a falling ax-kick to his spine, forcing a hiss of pain from his lips. He didn't even get a chance to peel his fake face off yet! After he landed, he regurgitated himself to get some distance. When none of the bodies followed him, he turned and flashed through hand signs.

" _ **Fuuton: Diatoppa!**_ " he called, throwing his hands out. Then he immediately cursed himself for forgetting one of the abilities of his foe. One of the Naruto's jumped forward and lifted it's hands, absorbing the jutsu, replenishing all their energy. Like the six paths of Pein, the five bodies of Naruto had black rods all throughout them, but he didn't see one in the original, who stood at the fore of the group. They had to be somewhere! He lunged at the teen, hoping to find the origin rod, but a raised fist blocked his punch with it's own. He hissed again. That hand was harder than it should be! Realization dawned on his as he retreated.

"You replaced at least some of your skeletal structure with Chakra rods!" Naruto shook his head in denial.

"I ingested them."

"What?" Orochimaru was stunned. Naruto had just said he _ate_ chakra metal.

"I ground them to a fine dust and ate them with every meal for two months. Eventually, thanks to the Kyuubi, they got integrated into my cellular structure." he was answering automatically, as his mind was all but gone with rage. Without another word, the six Naruto's flew at Orochimaru again, not relenting in their assault. Their combos were unbelievable! And he quickly discovered that they couldn't be snuck up on when the one that was using the mechanical abilities dodged a kick from behind one of the few times he managed to actually attack. Finally, he got tired of being a punching bag, and summoned a snake.

"Swallow me!" he called from it's head.

" **Why?** "

"Just swallow me and dispel!" with annoyed hiss, the snake complied, leaving the six bodies alone. Sasuke and Sakura, forgotten all this time, watched on from the trees where they'd hidden. Sakura moved to call out to their teammate, and Sasuke moved to stop her, but was too late.

"Naruto!"

"Shit..." Naruto reacted instinctively to the shout.

" _ **Shinra Tensei!**_ " he called as a his five other bodies dropped to the ground. The visible repulsion began as Sakura looked on in terror, realizing her mistake too late. As the wave of power washed over her, launching her violently away for several kilometers, all the way back to the fence in fact, she missed the scream of primal rage Naruto gave off.

 **With Anko and accompanying ANBU**

A loud roar was all the warning they got before the forest flattened in front of them and slammed them back.

 **Back with Naruto**

As the last vestiges of his jutsu vanished and the other bodies vanished, to be replaced by a very concerned-looking Nagato standing on frail legs, Naruto dropped to all fours, his hair slowly dying itself blood-red as his canines grew into fangs and his eyes became slitted and crimson. Nagato looked on with worry as he saw his cousin losing control of the Chakra from the Kyuubi for some odd reason. He knew it shouldn't be doing anything from what Naruto told him.

"Naruto" said calmly, holding his hands up placatingly as he stepped forward as best he could. He hadn't used his legs properly in several years, after all. Naruto's hard gaze snapped to the man, his _**Rinnegan**_ gone, replaced by the Demon Fox's eyes. With a snarl, Naruto lunged, swiping his claws at the red-head, who ducked and latched a hand around Naruto's wrist, slamming him to the ground and wrenching his arm behind his back in a submission hold. Naruto began struggling violently just as Nagato decided to use his own _**Rinnegan**_. He began absorbing the Chakra from the teen, who slowly began struggling less and less, until finally, he slumped and stopped moving altogether.

Nagato sighed in relief just as an ANBU squad and a purple-haired woman landed in the crater they were in. he looked up to find several blades leveled at his face, and he scowled in annoyance.

"I would appreciate if you removed your blades from such threatening positions."

"Tell us why you're pinning Gaki," Anko snarled as she glared at the man.

"I was subduing him," Nagato said calmly as he rose and dusted off his pants, feeling much stronger after absorbing energy, his body feeling whole for the first time since Yahiko died. "I no more mean to hurt Naruto-sama than you intend to hurt your Hokage. My name is Nagato. I presume you intend to take me into custody until everything is resolved?" he asked politely as he stepped back from the unconscious blond, allowing one of the ANBU to move forward and begin checking him.

"Where's Orochimaru?" Anko snapped as she continued glaring at Nagato. Nagato's brow crinkled.

"Orochimaru was here? I suppose that makes sense... Naruto wouldn't need..." he stopped as he realized that technically, the six Paths of the Maelstrom were still a secret. "Well," he stated. "In any event, you'd have to ask him." just as he said that, a very haggard-looking Sasuke fell down the side of the crater, toting an injured Sakura on his shoulder.

"One of you a Med-nin?" he panted. The ANBU who had checked Naruto nodded and Sasuke handed him the pink-haired girl. "She got blasted to the gate by that _**Shinra Tensei**_ , and I don't know how bad it is." then, he turned to see Nagato and Anko staring at him. "Oh... Nagato, you're here. That's a relief..." he said just as he face-planted with a puff of dirt and a groan. Anko visibly relaxed at Sasuke addressing the man before her.

"Well, since Ducky knows you, I suppose you're okay."

"Thank you?" it was obviously a question. He moved to lift Naruto over his shoulder, aiming to carry him with escort, but was shocked to find the other _**Rinnegan**_ wielder opening his eyes slowly. "Naruto-sama, what happened?"

"Hebi-teme..." Naruto grunted. "Can't remember. Need Earth Scroll."

"...Are you telling me we're in the middle of the Chuunin Exams?" Nagato asked with irritation as he looked at Anko, who nodded.

"Second Exam. Gaki doesn't like quitting."

"So I've noticed. I don't suppose you could give him a free pass?" he ventured, only to hear a disgruntled sound from the blond. "Naruto-sama,"

"Not for me," Naruto said, slightly more coherent, as he pushed himself up with shaky arms. "Sakura and Sasuke need the experience. Can't get special treatment."

"Oh for the love of Ramen," Nagato said as he ran a hand down his face, exasperation etched into every inch of his features. "Very well, but we'll need a _**Kage Bunshin**_ to tell us what happened." Naruto merely grunted and forced out the Chakra for one, and it looked terrible. The ANBU, having finished fussing over Sasuke and Sakura came over and practically shoved an advanced soldier pill down the blond's throat. Within moments, the Uzumaki was stretching and seemed to be feeling better.

"So," Nagato began, his gaze hardening. "How did your little experiment work out?"

"Fine. I heard a lot of bitching about how hard it was to get my cells to integrate and produce the compound, but in the end a success."

"Well that's good," and then Nagato smacked the teen upside the head, causing an indignant shout. "That was for worrying me by summoning them." another hit and another cry. "And that was for forcing me to use the seal to check on you, thus effectively ruining all the progress I'd made in paperwork." Naruto grumbled as he rubbed his head.

"It's not like you HAVE to check on me Oji. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know."

"Not with those you aren't. You don't have enough practice."

"Yeah, hi, we're still here," Anko said with a wave. The two Uzumaki turned to the group of gaping ANBU, who couldn't believe someone was actually getting away with scolding Naruto. NO-ONE got away with scolding Naruto- not even the Hokage. With grumbles of annoyance between themselves, they surrounded the red-head and vanished, along with the Naruto clone, leaving the original with his teammates and Anko, who looked around at the destruction, whistling appreciatively.

"You gonna be okay, Gaki? Cause snapping like you did is never good."

"I'm... not sure, Anko-chan. I really don't."

"Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you in the third round, so..."

"Yeah... see you at the tower..." Naruto waved her off, looking more than a little distracted. She vanished to go see the Hokage.

Naruto remained where he was, staring around at the physical choas surrounding him due to his power. He sensed several teams at the outskirts of the crater, debating on if they should check it out or not, and sighed tiredly. He channeled Chakra into the sheathes of his Katana, and the seals resonated with those placed on the blades themselves, letting him know where they were.

It would be a long five days.

 **A/N: As I'm posting this, it's about 2 AM on the 15** **th** **of August. I just want to let you guys know I won't be checking reviews or PM's until the 17** **th** **or 18** **th** **due to some... issues I have with the next couple of days. But please, let me know what you thought, and what I can improve. Love Ya'll (Yes I AM from Texas, thank you for noticing). Stay safe and Gaia guide you. Ja Ne.**


	37. Chapter 37: The Pre-lims

**A/N: Alright, I feel I owe you guys some sort of explanation. I have really bad depression, on top of my other mental health problems, which are far too numerous to list. Normally, I can manage to get through the day and work on my stories a bit, but there's a single day each year I'm certain to be stuck in bed due to lifelessness- August 16** **th** **. My birthday has never been a particularly good day of the year for me, even before I became depressed. The reasons are large and numerous, but basically it boils down to every year bad shit happens. I do want to thank you for all your support, though. I appreciate it.**

 **TigrezzTail: Yeah, as much as I like rain, this is a bit much for late summer, huh? My dog though- Christ in a cock ring, that girl loves splashing in the mud. And then trekking it onto my bed.**

 **Icingdeath0945: You beautiful, Drizzt-rip-off bastard. Pop quiz for you, what's the other Scimitar's name and the effects of both?**

 **Darkhuntressxir: Very True.**

 **Alright, let's get into it!**

 **Chapter 37: The Pre-lims**

Naruto sighed in exhaustion as he toted an unconscious Sakura and Sasuke on his shoulders into the Tower in the center of the Forest. He was right- it'd had been a _long_ five days in the forest. Almost immediately after Anko and Nagato had left, several Genin teams hoping to take advantage of the blond's obvious tiredness had descended into the crater to confront him for a shot at his Heaven Scroll. Several of the cockier ones, or the ones who hadn't seen his display before the first exam, had bragged that a tired weakling like him was easy pickings. He was hard-pressed to deny that, but even still, he managed to fight them all off. Finally, as dusk had been falling, they'd all retreated to rest, and his teammates had woken up - _aboutfuckingtimetoo_ \- and they'd moved into the trees, out of the open.

As soon as they'd made camp, he'd promptly fallen over, snoring loudly. And slept. And slept. And slept some more. When he _finally_ woke up, his chakra back to full, Sasuke informed him he'd slept through three days, meaning they had one day left to get an Earth scroll. He was also informed Sasuke had sent a few teams packing while he was out. They'd started towards the tower, and encountered a team from Ame, who tried fighting them, and summarily lost their scroll, and damn near their sanity as well. Unfortunately though, they'd managed to K.O. The Uchiha and Haruno, forcing the blond to tote their _fat asses_ to the tower. Where he unceremoniously dumped them on their heads, jolting them awake from the impact.

"WHAT THE HELL BAKA?!" Sakura screeched in rage, raising her fist in an attempt to threaten Naruto, who just looked at her.

"Put your fist down," he said coldly, forcing her to remember who she was addressing- the real Naruto, not the one from her dream, whom she could wail on all she wanted and he would still be nice to her( **canon** )- and she sighed dejectedly. "Well, we made it, and might I add that you need to _lay off the baked goods Sasuke_ ," he added with a small glare at his friend, who looked confused.

"Can't you lift Chouza without breaking a sweat?"

"Not when I've spent the past five days in a meat grinder without a proper meal."

"Oh... well uh..."

"Oh for..." Naruto grumbled as he unsealed both Scrolls and flipped them open, overlaying them in front of himself. With a puff of smoke, before them stood Kakashi.

"Yo!"

"Hatake, I swear to Log if you give us the fucking speech instead of just directing us to the Hokage, I will castrate you and force them down your throat." Kakashi paled- well the little bit of face visible did- and pointed to the door to the right of the group.

"Through there, along with the rest of the teams that passed." Naruto just grunted and stalked towards the door, just as Hatsu flew in from outside and landed on the blond's shoulder.

" **Sup, bro?** "

"I will cook you, I fucking swear I will rip your feathers off and boil you alive with sage and cumin."

" **What's with the hostility?** "

"Where the fuck have you been for the past five days is with the hostility you feathered shit! I tried summoning you _twice_! AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING SHOW UP! So not only did you _not_ do what I asked, you didn't have the decency to _dispel and go fucking home in case I needed you again_. If it wouldn't royally piss off the Ospreys, I would kill you right now."

Hatsu looked affronted and untucked an Earth scroll from under his wing with his beak, letting it drop to the ground, neither of them caring that they were making a scene in front of the teams who had finished the second exam, as well as everyone else present.

" **I GOT YOU A FUCKING SCROLL YOU JACKASS!** "

"FAT LOT OF GOOD IT DOES ME NOW YOU BIRD-BRAIN! IF I'D HAD THIS _FOUR FUCKING DAYS AGO_ WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT!" Just as it seemed Naruto was going to strangle the bird, and and Hatsu was going to start pecking at his eyes and face, Hiruzen coughed audibly.

"Naruto-kun, we really should..."

"SHOVE IT OLD MAN! YOU CAN WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!" Hiruzen grumbled under his breath as literally everyone else present stared at the blond in utter shock.

 _He just yelled at the HOKAGE_ , was the general thought process. _And didn't get hit or anything! What the fuck?!_ One particular person had a different thought, however.

 _Oh man, if he's strong enough to get away with ordering around the Hokage, what'll I do if I have to fight him? What if my sword snaps on his chest, and ricochets back to stab me in the eye? What if... (_ **You know damn well who this is and where it's going, so I'm not going to type the rest out.** )

" **WELL I COULD FIND YOU FOUR DAYS AGO!** "

"YOU'RE A FUCKING BIRD OF PREY! YOU CAN SEE A CRICKET FROM SEVEN HUNDRED FEET AND HEAR A PIN DROP FROM THREE MILES! HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT FIND ME?!" at this, Hatsu shuffled his feet slightly on the blond's shoulder and mumbled under his breath. "That's what I thought you little shit."

" **I'm going home...** "

"No you aren't," Naruto immediately said. "You are staying with me until the end of the day, and you are going _to suffer right with me you little bastard_." Hatsu huffed, but remained where he was, no cloud of smoke indicating him heading home. Satisfied that his summon was going to take his punishment, Naruto turned to his grandfather with his arms crossed, waiting for this BS to be over with so he could take a bath and eat something.

"May I speak now?" Hiruzen asked with obvious annoyance. Naruto merely nodded. "Now, since everyone who has passed and is going to pass is here, I think it's time you all learn the true reason for the Chuunin Exams," Hiruzen said as he placed his pipe in his mouth. Naruto immediately tune dhim out, having heard the speech multiple times when he was in ANBU. The old man would drone for thirty minutes about war and peace, and then, given the number of people who'd gotten through, they'd hold Preliminaries to thin them out.

 _ **Does that old windbag ever shut up?**_

 _You already know the answer to that, Kurama. As much as I love Jiji, he could take a few lessons on how to not give so many lessons from Hatake. Seriously, you'd think Hee'd train his students better so he wouldn't have to bury anyone else._

 _ **Meh. The monkey distances himself. I can understand that.**_

 _How many of your siblings are here again?_ Naruto asked with a smug mental grin as Kurama grumbled under his breath, then answered with great reluctance.

 _ **Three. Shukaku, Chomei, and Gyuki.**_

 _Gaara, that chick Fuu probably, and..._ Naruto cast a quick glance around, noting the Sensei of the only Kumo team to make it through, who had Bulls' Horns Tattooed on his face, just under his shades. _That guy. From what you've told me about Gyuki, He's an Ox-topus._ Kurama laughed uproariously at the pun of the combination Gyuki was. _So my money is on the guy armed with eight fucking swords and bull horns on his face. Kirabi if I remember right._

 _ **You do. He's in the Bingo Book for over seven hundred million. Better focus, the Geezer is wrapping up.**_ Naruto looked forward just as Gekko Hayate stepped forward to explain the Pre-lim rules. He also nodded at Naruto, who nodded back. They had a rivalry in Kenjutsu, with Naruto still trying to master the Uzuryuu. A quick rule rundown, and the names started rolling on the electronic board. Naruto heard his Jiji mutter under his breath to Anko, who was standing next to him.

"Did we work out the bugs from Kushina's prank all that time ago?"

"We aren't sure."

"Shit." Naruto was about to actually ask, before he saw what they meant. Instead of any names on the board, it read:

 **Ramen Coupons vs Dango Give-away**

Naruto, instead of snickering like everyone else, immediately leveled a harsh glare at Anko, who was glaring right back.

"Ramen," he said concisely, quite audibly.

"Dango," she answered fiercely. He started to reach for one of his Katana as she drew a Kunai. Hiruzen sighed. ( **A/N: The board thing wasn't my idea, but was too great to pass up when I read it, sorry if the person who made it up is reading this** ) The board began cycling again, oblivious to the glare-down between the two.

With a Blare, the names of the first two contestants appeared.

 **Uzumaki Naruto VS Korio of Kiri**

Once everyone else vacated to the viewing platform, and Hayate and ensured both people were ready, we raised his hand.

"Hajime!"

"Did you seriously defend Ramen?"

"Yes."

"How can you eat that garbage?" Korio said, which was immediately answered with several sharp intakes of breath. Anko was most audible.

"Oh shit..." Korio, an average height male with burnt red hair and wearing clothes that looked more suitable for a Daimyo than a shinobi with a Wakizashi on his hip looked over to the woman.

"What're you cussing about? You obviously hate that disgusting slop at least as much as I do."

"Okay first, No, I don't I do eat it occasionally, so don't assume you know anything about me you brat. And Second, even if it's not my favorite thing in the world, even our stupidest Genin is smart enough not to openly insult Ramen in front of the gaki." she looked up at the stands. "Ain't that right, Kiba?"

"Yeah, hey wait a minute!"

"So what? It's not like he can actually do anything to me," Korio said haughtily. "I'm training to be one of the Seven swordsman of the mist, and I can damn well call garbage what it is, and there's nothing some no-name moron can do about it!" he almost laughed before the temperature in the room dropped drastically in seconds. Anko looked over to Chojuro, the blue-haired kid with a big-ass sword on his back that Naruto vaguely identified as an Active member of the Seven Swordsman.

"I hope you're okay with your trainee ending up in the ground." Chojuro sighed tiredly, but said nothing.

"Jiji," Naruto said in a voice colder than _Hyoton_. "Where would our newest Jounin be right now?" To Korio's shock and horror, the Hokage spoke up.

"Why, he's one room over. Would you like me to call him in?"

"Please do. Until he gets here, this match is on hold." Korio sputtered indignantly.

"You can't do that!"

"I just did. You want to brag about being a Mist Bladesman in _Training?_ I'll show you how one _really operates_." within moments of this declaration, the double doors were thrown open and none other than Momochi Zabuza stormed in, his stance rigid and his eyes furious. Chojuro and Korio blanched at the sight of him. Without a word, he marched over, and in one fluid motion, unlatched Kubikiribocho from his back and presented it to the blond, hilt first. Naruto unbuckled his belt, divesting himself of his Katana, and removed both Tanto he still had over each shoulder, before removing his weapons pouch and removed all his hidden weapons, which took a good five minutes. Only then did he reach out and take hold of the Mist blade. He thrusted the sword into the ground before him- a clear challenge.

"Since I'm so nice," he bit out as Zabuza stepped up beside the Hokage holding all of his things. "I'll allow you three free attacks, no dodging, no blocking, no countering. I'd give you more to make it more fair, but not only did you insult my favorite food on the planet, you also Directly insulted my grandfather- the Hokage." Korio blanched, but drew his blade and looked ready to attack. He was terrified, but determined to end it in one swing. He charged with a loud yell and swung his wakizashi full force. Only for it to bounce off Naruto's chest without even cutting into his jacket. "Whoops," the blond said, shrugging off his jacket and shirt and tossing them away, causing several women in the room to swoon at his musculature.

"That's one," he warned. Korio paled even more and swung twice in quick succession, as fast and hard as he could- and he barely scratched Naruto's skin, thin lines of blood appearing on his stomach before quickly sealing over. "and there's three. Now, let me show you what an _Uzumaki Swordsman_ can do." He spat, his eyes snapping open in rage. More gasps as he confirmed some fears.

"He's fucked," Said Chojuro's sensei, gaining a look from the blue-haired teen.

"W-what d-do you m-mean?"

"The Uzumaki _created_ the Mist blades, Chojuro. And an Uzumaki Swordsman? There's a reason people were scared of the Uzumaki, and their Fuinjutsu was only part of it."

Down on the floor, Naruto ripped the Kubikiribocho from the ground and began spinning it around by the handle, confusing a lot of people. Korio had a sudden look of relief.

"You don't even know how to wield it!" He laughed. Then he noticed Zabuza backing up, fear and awe on his face.

"No way..." Korio snapped his eyes back to the blond, just in time to see him snap a hand from the handle to the hole in the center, then begin spinning it like a Fuma Shuriken.

"Let me show you how Headcleaver was _meant to be used,_ " Naruto said in a voice so cold it sent chills up _Hiruzen's_ spine. "Only the Uzumaki can wield this blade to it's fullest, as with any Mist Blade." Korio began sweating, and in an admittedly hasty and half-cocked attempt out of desperation, he charged at the Blond. He began hacking furiously, but was met with the clang of metal on metal every time. Naruto was twirling the massive blade around his body, from hand to hand, in circles as though it weighed _nothing_. Every chance Korio _thought_ he saw was filled the next instant with whirling steel. Finally, he had enough. He channeled Chakra through his blade and swung with a scream. A loud slicing sound, and suddenly, Naruto stopped moving while Zabuza growled. That idiot had cut off a few inches of the sword!

"Congrtulations," Naruto intoned. "You just put me on the offensive AND pissed off Kubikiribocho."

"It's a sword! It doesn't have feelings!"

"And that's why you'll never be a true swordsman," Naruto said. "Every sword has a soul, every blade has a story. All you have to do is listen. Plus, have you ever SEEN Samehada? I dare you to say that sword doesn't have sentience." Before Korio could say anything, he felt white-hot pain across his chest as red sprayed in front of his eyes. He looked down in horror to see a long gash opening from his right shoulder to his left hip. Then, he looked at his foe, and flinched as he saw the chunk he'd managed to slice off the sword _regrowing_.

"That is the ability of the Executioner's Blade. It can't be broken, because as soon as it sees battle, it reforges itself from the _blood of it's enemies_." Naruto fell silent once more as he began twirling the blade again, except this time, instead of in circles around his body, it was in a figure-eight, his hand alternating between the hole in the center and the hilt.

" _ **Uzumaki Executioner's Art: Maelstrom Havoc!**_ " in mere moments, everyone below Jounin saw only blood, before Korio fell limp, and Naruto appeared behind him, holding the massive blade in a position that indicated he'd just made a horizontal slice.

What everyone _above_ Jounin saw was horrific beyond explanation. In the span of seconds, Naruto had flashed around the boy before him, moving past the sound barrier in the process, and had used Kubikiribocho to cut every single tendon, muscle, and joint in his body, while also slicing open a few blood vessels. Naruto stood straight and slammed his blade into the ground just as blood began spraying from Korio in waves. They all knew the boy wouldn't make it. The first round of the _preliminaries_ and they already had a death, not counting the several in the Forest. Good thing the moron had signed the waiver. After taking a few deep breaths, Naruto pulled Kubikiribocho from the ground and started walking towards Zabuza. He held the blade to it's owner hilt-first, but Zabuza shook his head.

"Keep it Gaki. You obviously know how to use it better than me. Besides, you even said only an Uzumaki can use it properly." Zbuza fell to one knee, shocking most everyone. "I, Momochi Zabuza, return Kubikiribocho unto the Clan of Uzumaki, and pledge my life unto it's leader. Wherever may he go, my mist will follow." everyone was agape at the public display of fealty and service. Naruto planted Kubikiribocho in front of the man.

"As Uzumaki Clan leader, by right of birth and deed, I, Uzumaki Naruto, accept your oath of service. As you have pledged to me, so I shall return. Vassal of the tides, have you need of our might, you have but to ask. Now rise, and remain watchful for the storm." Zabuza rose from his prone position and stood at rigid attention, awaiting orders.

"For now, remain on guard and serve the Hokage."

"Hai."

"And give me back my shit." Zabuza chuckled as he handed Naruto all his weapons. Naruto returned them to their positions quickly, then lifted his new sword and moved to the viewing platform for the next match. He was given a wide berth by everyone except one red-head with glasses. "Can I help you?"

"I am Uzumaki Karin, and I demand to know by what birth and what deed you claim Clan Head status." They were speaking fairly quietly, so as to avoid drawing attention to their Clan dispute.

"I claim right of birth as I am the biological grandson of the Last Clan head before the fall. Our cousin Nagato can attest to this, as he holds the Uzu Tree, being our new historian and Guard Master. I claim right of deed for my efforts in service to the Leaf, the least among them being the defeat of an S-Classed criminal." Karin looked utterly shell-shocked. She nearly jumped out of her skin when a new voice, a deep baritone, sounded from the shadows nearby.

"Naruto-sama, I recognize the name she claims. It is in the Family scroll, several branches from our own, and is the last of it's line. Should she be true, she has the bite-heal as opposed to the Creation Kekkei of the Main Branch."

"Good, we can test it out now. I'm fucking exhausted." Karin turned bright red and began sputtering indignantly. "Look, either you let me bite you to verify you are who you say you are, or Nagato and I kill you where you stand for falsely claiming our Clan name." She turned even brighter red, her face almost matching he hair, but she held out her arm, her purple sleeve covering it to the wrist. Naruto rolled up the sleeve and quickly, before anyone noticed or said anything, clamped down on her arm right below the elbow. He immediately felt soothing Chakra enter his body and begin replenishing his own, as well as healing a few injuries he had. He was about to let go, when the foulest Chakra he'd ever felt flowed through his tongue and into his body, only to be rejected by Kurama's own. He let go with a hiss of anger. He was about to say something, when he saw that her name was up on the board.

 **Karin of Kusa VS Haruno Sakura**

"After your match, we will have _words_ , Uzumaki Karin." She nodded fearfully and sprinted down to the floor, rolling down her sleeve as she went.

"So she spoke true," Nagato noted, his arms crossed and never leaving the shadows. With an Ame team having made it to the Prelims, he didn't want to run the slim risk of being recognized, even though they'd never seen him. His eyes would give it away. Naruto, meanwhile, was seething in rage. But he remained silent as he watched Sakura and Karin begin.

 **With the girls**

"What were you doing with Naruto-baka?"

"None of your business, Pinky."

"He's MY teammate."

"Like I said, it's none of your business." Sakura growled in rage at the dismissal and sprinted at the arrogant girl, her fist cocked back to slug her.

 **With Naruto, Nagato, and now Sasuke and Shikamaru**

"Karin will win," Naruto said in a bored tone, getting a raised eyebrow from his cousin.

"Shouldn't you have more faith in your teammate?"

"She's a fangirl," he ground out, irritated he hadn't been able to beat it out of her yet. "She's smart, but she's weak. She only just began to train seriously, and only because I threatened to force Sasuke to date Yamanaka Ino, the blond over there," he said with a wave at said girl.

"Hey, at least Ino chilled out," Shikamaru yawned.

"That, plus her taking training seriously since Academy, and honestly, I wouldn't mind dating her," Sasuke noted.

"On top of Haruno's fangirl tendencies, Karin is extremely flexible, and has a wider range of attacks."

"How can you tell?" Shikamaru asked.

"She has a Suiton Chakra Nature," Naruto informed him, gaining three looks of confusion. "I'm a sensory type, guys. I can tell a persons' Chakra Nature within a few moments of meeting them, just by their body types and the feel of their Chakra."

"Prove it," Shikamaru challenged. Naruto pointed at him without looking. "I'm pointing at your center of balance. You have a Katon Nature by birth, but specialize in Yin Release because of your clan Jutsu. Fire nature are characterized by thin, nimble bodies that can bend like a flame to reach their target." He pointed at Sasuke.

"Raiton Nature. Raiton users are lithe and agile, born with superior speed to most other Nature types." he pointed at Asuma down the walkway. "Born with a Fuuton nature and trained a Katon nature. Fuuton users are unusually nimble and light on their feet, as evidenced by their extreme natural speed and above-average endurance. They're the only chakra Nature born faster than Raiton."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Shika grumbled. Naruto focused on the match.

 **Back on the floor**

So far, all that had happened was Sakura throwing punches, and Karin dodging them, then punishing the sloppy attacks with kicks to the stomach.

"Is this seriously the best you've got?"

"Shut up!"

"I'm wondering how you're on the same team as Naruto, considering you're so weak."

" **SHANNANARO!** " Sakura screamed as she buried her fist into the ground where Karin had been standing. The entire tower shook, but Karin looked unimpressed. She sprinted forward and leapt, turning in mid-air to deliver a flying kick to Sakura's chest, launching her back and slamming her head into the wall, knocking her out.

"Winner, Karin of Kusa!" Hayate called, raising a hand to the red-head. She nodded and returned to the other two Uzumaki, albeit timidly.

"Where'd he put it?" Naruto hissed as he gripped Karin's bicep, pulling her closer. She went pale, but did a very good impression of looking confused.

"What are you..."

"Stow it. I can sense that bastards foul Chakra somewhere on your body, so where did he put it?"

"Naruto-sama, what are you talking about?"

"Remember our discussion the day we met?" Nagato nodded as realization dawned slowly on his face. "I think we just found one of 'em."

"And Sasori couldn't locate her..."  
"So she was hidden in one of his bases, exactly." Naruto rounded on the teen again, his glare harsh. "I'll ask one more time, Karin. If you refuse I _will_ detain you and do a full body search for it, your feelings and modesty be damned. Now where. is. The. Seal." Karin looked down, tears forming in her eyes, and she rolled her shorts' waistband down a bit, along with the elastic of her underwear, which Naruto idly noted was purple and lacy, to reveal one of Orochimaru's Curse Marks on her hip, just slightly to the left of her stomach. Nagato recoiled in disgust as Naruto stepped closer and crouched down to get a better look. Karin turned beet red, but he ignored her reaction.

"How long have you had it?" he asked as he probed the skin around it with his finger. She squirmed, still blushing.

"A year and a half."

"I'm guessing this is the Cursed Seal of Fire?" he looked up to see her nodding hesitantly. "Alright, after the Prelims, I'll be able to remove it." her eyes widened and her jaw fell slack. "What? I _am_ an Uzumaki, Karin."

"For now we should focus on the matches," Nagato cut in. "We've already missed three."

"What were the results?"

"Well after the board red 'Flames of Youth VS Fire Extinguisher of Depression' your pineapple-haired friend defeated the Oto Kunoichi by connecting his shadow to a wire connected to a senbon, and made her bash her head into the wall. The Suna Kunoichi defeated the bun-haired girl with Fuuton Jutsu and nearly broke her spine, and your big friend lost to the Oto mummy due to the device on his left arm. ( **A/N: Canon fights, I just jumbled them together because I'm a lazy bum** )"

"Figures Gaara's sister would be ruthless," he turned to Karin. "Stay close by. You'r eon probation until I'm sure I can trust you." she nodded demurely and folded her hands together. He looked at the display board once more, and burst into laughter.

 **Clucky the chicken VS the Log**

Naruto was laughing so hard, he fell over, clutching his stomach and his abdominal muscles spasmed in his mirth. Asuma ended up walking over and nudging him with his foot. When Naruto finally calmed down enough to talk, he asked what the deal was as he wiped tears away from his face.

"Kushina-san once got into an argument with Uchiha Fugaku, Sasuke's father, over which would be more useful for substitution- a chicken or a log. It became a running joke for everyone present at the time."

"You appear to be quite young," Nagato suddenly said from his position in the corner, his head still in darkness. Asuma went rigid.

"Yeah, I'm only twenty-seven."

"How old was Naruto-sama when you adopted him?" Asuma bristled and glared at the mystery man.

"Naru was four."

"So, an eighteen year old adopted a four year old? Out of what? Some misplaced sense of pity? Or was it an act of charity on a hapless street urchin?"

"I adopted him," Asuma ground out, his fingers itching to reach for his trench knives. "Because he was alone, and so was I. I saw a little boy who needed a family. One that I could provide." Nagato hummed in thought.

"I meant no disrespect, Sarutobi-sama. I was merely curious as to how the son of the Sandaime Hokage came about to be a father at so tender an age."

"You sound pretty young yourself."

"I'm thirty-five."

"Bullshit! You cannot be the same age as the Yondaime would be were he around today!"

"Why not?"

"You seem too young!"

"Thank my Uzumaki genes. We age slower and live longer." Asuma grumbled under his breath.

"Winner, Aburame Shino!" the two looked down to see Shino adjusting his glasses and walking away from a beat-up looking Kusa Genin.

"What happened?" Asuma asked Naruto.

"Shino landed his Kikaichu on the guy, he went down, Shino punched him once."

"Rajin has pathetically small reserves," Karin commented. Naruto shot her a sideways look. "What? Mine are decent enough, plus I'm more built for Medical Ninjutsu than combat." Naruto conceded the point with a nod.

 **Uchiha Sasuke VS Zaku of Oto**

"Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Yep."

"The Uchiha heir?"

"Yes."

"As in the one most likely to be targeted for his _**Sharingan**_?"

" _Yes_ Karin. I am well aware of Orochimaru's interest in my friend." Karin nodded uncertainly. "Hey Sasuke!" the Uchiha looked up at the call from the blond. "Don't use Katon!"

"Why not?"

"From the looks of the tubes in his arms, he uses modified artificial Fuuton. Consider it a challenge. Beat him with only Raiton, and I'll teach you Burning Ash."

"Sure, just give away our clan secrets why don't you?" Asuma groused. Naruto grinned at him sideways.

"He won't be able to do it."

"Wait, what?"

"The guy looks perfectly healthy. Sasuke will be forced to use taijutsu and probably some Katon if he wants to pull out a win."

"You're very manipulative," Karin noted with unease. Naruto shrugged.

"Shinobi."

"You done getting a pep-talk?" Zaku sneered. "Cause I wanna get this over with _ **Zakkuhana!**_ "

" _ **Raiton: Electromagnetic Murder!**_ "

The twin blasts of pressurized air met a bolt of arcing lightning, and they managed to cancel each other out.

"Ah hell," Sasuke cursed. "Naruto I hate you!"

"Join the club!" came several cries from everywhere. With that, Sasuke vanished in a blur of speed and appeared right in front of the Oto-nin, kicking him into the air. Lee recognized it as the _**Dancing Leaf Shadow**_ he'd used on the Uchiha a few days before the Exams.

" _ **Raiton: Pulse wave!**_ " Sasuke planted his hand right into Zaku's spine and sent out the Jutsu, essentially frying his nervous system, then Sasuke spun around and delivered an ax kick to Zaku's midsection, forcibly expelling air from his lungs. Sasuke spun several more times, landing more kicks on Zaku as he hammered him into the ground.

" _ **Shishi Rendan!**_ "

"Told you," Naruto said smugly. Asuma just sighed. As Sasuke flipped away, Zaku struggled to his feet.

"That... all... you got?" he panted as he lifted on arm tiredly. Next thing he knew, he was screaming in pain as Sasuke snapped his arm at the elbow.

"Winner, Sasuke!" Hayate called.

"Hey, that reminds me," Sasuke said with a frown. "Why are you a proctor? Don't you have a Genin team?"

"I didn't nominate them, they weren't ready," Hayate coughed.

"Ami?"

"Ami."

"I'll say a prayer for ya," Sasuke declared solemnly as he waved over his shoulder while walking away. The rest of the matches went by in a blur for Naruto, but he made vague notes about the winners.

Fuu the Jinchuuriki beat Ino soundly.

Chojuro the swordsman barely pulled out a win against one of the Iwa Genin.

A random Ame-nin beat the other Iwa Genin.

Kurotsuchi beat Kankuro.

Both of Fuu's teammates were eliminated in a double knockout cause they were idiots.

Neji beat Kiba.

Lee beat one of the other Ame Genin.

Omoi beat the last.

Samui thrashed the last Kusa-nin when he leered at her in the wrong way.

Hinata and Karui's match was interesting if for no other reason than the red-headed Kumo Kunoichi proved almost as flexible as the Hyuuga heiress. She still lost, but hey, not bad.

And Gaara squished Chojuro's last teammate like a grape.

"Didn't that Kabuto guy say something about going to the finals just to fight you?" Sasuke queried.

" **Kabuto?** " Hatsu spoke up, reminding everyone he was there.

"Kinda tall, silver hair, round glasses."

" **Oh, him. Yeah, I stole his Earth Scroll, so he couldn't get in.** "

"Okay, forget what I said earlier. I fucking love you, Hatsu." the bird puffed his chest out at the praise from his summoner.

"It seems we have an unusually high amount of contestants this year," Hiruzen said loudly.

"Sixteen in total, sir," Ank counted out.

"Well, eight fights isn't too bad, but still, it could be shortened."

"Maa, maa, I'm sure we can accommodate by starting ealier," Kakshi waved his hand lazily. Hiruzen sighed.

"I was hoping to avoid that, but you're right. Will the winners please come forward?" Two rows of eight formed before the Hokage. "Since there are so many of you, we must change the selection process a bit. Anko has here a box with slips of paper numbered one through eight. Each row will come forward and pull randomly to determine the order of your fights." Anko stepped to the first row and held her box out to Naruto, him being the first in line.

"Say your number as you draw it, so Ibiki can draw up the chart," Anko ordered.

"Four," Naruto read.

Karin got eight.

Fuu got one.

Hinata got three.

Lee pulled five.

Gaara, seven.

Sasuke, two.

Shikamaru yawned and flipped his paper around, showing the number six. After they'd all returned the slips tot he box, the next row went. After _they_ were done ad Ibiki finished writing, he flipped the clipboard he was holding to show the match-ups.

 **Fuu VS Chojuro**

 **Sasuke VS Samui**

 **Hinata VS Neji**

 **Naruto VS Kurotsuchi**

 **Lee VS Saku (the Ame-nin)**

 **Shikamaru VS Temari**

 **Gaara VS Dosu**

 **Karin VS Omoi**

"You know your opponents, and you have a month to prepare. Good luck to you all," Hiruzen said as he released a puff of smoke through his nostrils.

The Prelims were over.

Hell was going to break loose.

 **A/N: Yeah, I know, I know. Not only did I skip most of the fights, but I made too many go through to the finals. Plus, I did the whole 'Neji VS Hinata' bit. I was trying to keep this chapter from getting** _ **too**_ **long, though. So, let the bitching begin.**


	38. Chapter 38: A Father's Worry

**A/N: From here, I'm doing a few chapters that fill in more of the history of the alternate timeline, from different people's POVs .**

 **Let's get it on!**

 **Chapter 38: A Father's Worry**

Asuma frowned slightly when he saw how tired Naruto looked as he stormed into the tower, toting his teammates. He'd heard Naruto had slept for three solid days without moving, but he had his doubts.

 _The Kyuubi must have basically put him into a coma to let him recharge. With Naru's night terrors, it couldn't have been anything else._ Throughout the matches, he'd kept a close eye on his son, all but ignoring his students. A parents' prerogative and all that. He noticed all the little signs of how exhausted the blond was.

His shoulders were tight, but slumped.

His head tilted ever so slightly to the left, where his pillow would be if he laid down.

How his hands, which were normally moving non-stop as he spoke, were still and dead by his sides.

There was also the fact that he killed a kid for insulting Ramen. Even with an insult to the old man thrown in, Naruto wouldn't kill someone unless it was absolutely necessary- as evidenced by him sparing Zabuza and recruiting him after Gato was taken care of. Thrash him within an inch of his life, sure, but kill? Never.

That told the worried man that Naruto was irritable and on edge, snappish, one might say. But if he knew one thing about his son, it was that the boy was stubborn to a fault.

 **Flashback- a few months after Naruto got adopted**

 _Asuma was still adjusting to being a parent. With his Shinobi senses, he heard every time Naru began whimpering or crying. But this was too late to be his usual tears of loneliness- he should be asleep already. So Asuma did what any unsure parent would do; he crept up the stairs silently and peeked in on the boy. What he saw confused and worried him._

 _Naru was tangled up in the sheets like a game of twister, and he was thrashing violently, whimpering under his breath, constantly clutching at his right shoulder. With the skill befitting of a Jounin, he stepped over and flawlessly removed the boys' sleeping shirt, revealing his torso- and nearly heaving his dinner at the same time. The kid was a mass of scar tissue from shoulder to shoulder and from neck to waistband. The biggest one, though, was a massive star-shaped blot of white- a stark contrast to his naturally tanned flesh- right next to his collarbone on the right side, above his heart, but through the artery in his shoulder._

 _With a gasping sigh, Asuma sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching slowly for the blond locks of sunshine. With a loud cry, Naruto recoiled instinctively away from the touch, even in his sleep, and began thrashing harder, his volume going up. Asuma could feel his heart breaking, so he swiftly reached out and pulled the boy to his stomach, cradling him and stroking his hair- a method that his own mother had used on him countless times. Within moments, Naruto had relaxed visibly and nuzzled into the touch, pulling a small smile from Asuma. Before he could enjoy it more though, Cerulean orbs snapped open, full of fear, and a small fist connected with his jaw- with a surprising amount of force for the small boy he might add- and he was forced to drop Naru back onto his bed. When he looked again, he saw recognition dawning in the boys' eyes._

 _"Tou-chan? I'm... i'm sorry..."_

 _"It's okay Naru, no harm done."_

 _"What are you doing in my room though?" Asuma fidgeted uncomfortably._

 _"I heard you whimpering in your sleep." Naruto's face hardened._

 _"I'm fine," he said quietly._

 _"Naru, I know you're used to dealing with things alone, but..."_

 _"I said, I'm fine, Tou-chan. It's nothing."_

 _"Night Terrors aren't nothing, Naru." Naruto looked down at his hands in anger, avoiding eye contact._

 _"I've survived this long, I'll be fine. I don't need any help." Asuma sighed in exasperation._

 **Flashback end**

Naruto would do everything in his power to avoid causing problems for someone, or getting help. He did his pranks to point out the holes in the Village Security. He thrashed Civvies to show them what a Shinobi is capable of. Hell, he volunteered at the Academy four times a week to help kids be better prepared for Shinobi life.

Naruto was selfless, annoyingly so, but he had a good heart. But when it came time to help himself, he was more bullheaded than everyone else in the Village combined, and he all but gave himself up for dead.

So, Asuma worried for him. He also managed to get Naru to take care of himself by saying him not being at his best would hurt everyone he cared for.

But Asuma knew he could never get Sarutobi Naruto to give anything less than his absolute best. It was his Nindo- Never Back down, always keep a promise, and take care of others.

Asuma sighed heavily while rubbing his nose.

"Why can't anything be simple with you, Naru?"


	39. Chapter 39: A Grandfather's Memory

**A/N: Yo! Sorry this took so long, but I recently got a new job, and it's been running me ragged while I try to adjust to twelve-hour-days in a fast-paced setting. Alright, so this will be another fairly short chapter (I think, it depends on how much flows out) and will be another perspective on the Prelims about Naruto.**

 **Guest: Big stabby thing- like a metal rod or something, and a small child's frail little body. Plus, consider how old Naruto was when Asuma saw that scar. Since scars don't expand while a body and skin grows(mine didn't anyway), by now it would be about the size of Naruto's fist, instead of bigger, in comparison to the rest of his torso.**

 **Chapter 39: A Grandfather's Memory**

"YOU CAN FUCKING WAIT A SECOND OLD MAN!" Hiruzen was a shrewd man. He'd faced more enemies than almost anyone else alive and won. He glared down the Kyuubi no Kitsune thirteen years ago without fear. But in the face of his beloved grandsons' rage and frustration, he was helpless.

He knew Naruto didn't mean to be rude, or disrespectful, and after what he'd heard had happened in the Forest, he'd honestly expected something like this. But for the normally cheery, or at least composed, blond, screaming at the man he held in such high regard was an indicator of such high levels of emotional fatigue, he feared for the life of literally everyone in the room.

Hiruzen also noticed Naruto visibly spaced out during his speech about the purpose of the exams. Naruto would at least try to _appear_ to be listening if he were perfectly fine. Hiruzen hid a frown of dissatisfaction. It seemed the disbanded Civilian council were still making life hard for his grandson, despite the display they'd received when Naruto was adopted.

 **Flashback- The night before Naruto was brought to the Sarutobi home**

 _"Absolutely not!" Screeched Homura, slamming a fist on the table before him, causing several people to jump at his sudden aggression. "We will not allow the Sarutobi clan to monopolize the power that boy holds!"_

 _"I AM NOT DOING IT FOR POWER YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Hiruzen bellowed, making everyone begin quaking in fear. The Hokage never cursed. Ever. He lowered a smoldering gaze around the room. "For too long I have allowed you_ ** _insects_** _to torture, starve, and isolate a boy you should regard as a hero!"_

 _"The Demon is no hero! It killed the Yondaime!" one of the Civilians spat venomously, only to fall under a cold glower of barely suppressed rage._

 _"So you have such little faith in the man you regard as a hero?" a few people sputtered indignation. "No, that is what I gather. You call Naruto the Kyuubi itself, which all but declares you hold such little faith in the Fuinjutsu Prowess of my Predecessor. You idiots cannot tell a flower from a vase. Shibi!" the man snapped to a rigid sitting attention. " What is the Aburame take on their Kikaichu?"_

 _"They are our partners."_

 _"You host them within your body, yes?"_

 _"That is correct."_

 _"But does that make you a Kikaichu beetle?"_

 _"No, hokage-sama."_

 _"Tell us, if you would, what happens when an Aburame dies, or if your pact had not been formed with these insects."_

 _"Had we not tamed them, the Kikaichu would all but erase any possibility of Konoha having Shinobi, for any being with active Chakra use draws their attention and hunger. They would kill indiscriminately."_

 _"And when one of your clan dies?"_

 _"One of two situations. If the current hive has not reached the middle to late stages of their two-day life cycle, they can be transferred to a new Aburame because they had not become solely dependent on the firsts' Chakra."_

 _"And if they have reached the later stages?" Hiashi asked out of pure curiosity. Shibi surprised everyone by removing his sunglasses and leveling his eyes to lock with the Hyuuga Patriarch directly._

 _"We must destroy them immediately."_

 _"And why is that Shibi?" Hiruzen asked pointedly, still fuming. He knew damn well why._

 _"Because if we do not, they will go feral within moments, become enraged for being 'locked up' so to speak. Without the guiding Chakra of the Aburame they become dependent on in the early stages of their life, they would fly around until destroyed or their life ends, and kill anything with Chakra, no matter how small a reserve."_

 _"You're saying these feral Kikaichu would destroy the Village?" scoffed one civilian. "I doubt that." Shibi turned to the man, his face taking a much more serious set._

 _"Kikaichu are predatory beetles that feed on Chakra- the life force of every living being. They reproduce withing an hour in clutches of over fifty-three thousand per mating pair, and they live for forty-eight hours after hatching. Many Aburamae Kikaichu have been genetically altered and bred specificially to bore through wood and stone to infiltrate enemy hideouts for reconnaissance, and you are seriously questioning whether or not they could destroy Konohagakure in that time frame? Are you mentally retarded, or just plain stupid?"_

 _"I don't see what this has to do with that fucking demon!"_

 _"Thank you for bringing me around to my point. Naruto is very similar to the Aburame clan. He holds within him an entity that could raze this entire village in it's rage. And yet," he said, rising as Killer Intent so potent even_ Danzo _began worrying for his life pervaded the room. "You IDIOTS drive the boy away, isolate him, attempt to kill him every year on a day he should celebrate, loathe him for something he did not choose, and attempt to drive him to suicide by denying his very existence for your PETTY VENGEANCE." Hiruzen's voice had been steadily growing louder. Now, he was roaring so loud the walls shook. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THAT BOY DIED?! DO YOU HAVE THE FAINTEST CLUE HOW FUINJUTSU WORKS YOU IMBICILES?! IF HIS CHAKRA STOP RUNNING THROUGH THAT GODDAMN SEAL, WE'LL HAVE A REPEAT OF FOUR YEARS AGO, AND THIS TIME MINATO WILL NOT FUCKING SAVE YOUR ASSES!"_

 _"Yondaime-sama turned it human so we could kill it! We have to finish what he started!" one of the Civilians cried, royally pissing off Hiruzen past the point of redemption. "There was no births that day! It's the only logical explanation!"_

 _"ANBU!" Four masked figured appeared around the man who'd found the will to speak, and within seconds were gone once more as the shocked-looking man slumped down, his head rolling across the table to Inuzuka Tsume, who stopped it with her finger calmly._

 _"Naruto is joining the Sarutobi Clan," Hiruzen said with such cold rage that everyone knew if they said anything, they'd die just like the man who's blood was spreading on the table. "If any of you have a complaint about that, you can shove it up your asses. This meeting is adjourned. Get. Out." within seconds, the room was clear, allowing Hiruzen to vent his emotions on the massive council table before him._

 _It shattered into splinters under his blow._

 **End Flashback**

Even after that, many hadn't learned the lesson, So Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage, took the only option left to him at that point.

He began training the most lethal weapon possible.

And now, that boy was begin to kill merilessly.

Well... shit.


	40. Chapter 40: Travel to the Coast

**A/N: Hey ya'll. Back with another Chappie, mainly because I'm sick and have a few days off work. Admittedly I work on my stories when I get home from work every night, but having a few days means I can take a bit longer and make a decent, fairly long chapter. This time, no more outside perspectives, we're starting on the month-long interlude before the third Round. There will be an interview I conducted at the end, so be sure to read that (I really feel like I don't have enough of those).On to Review Responses!**

 **ChaosDragon25: Thank you! Yes, I do try to keep things balanced. And I totally understand, there's been a few stories where I skipped the A/N's as well. I chose both the girl Naruto ended up with and the two Kekkei Genkai he received through polls in the first twenty chapters, so it was reader choice.**

 **On the subject of polls though, I have another one up for my Pokemon story. So if you read that one, check it out.**

 **Everyone's kryptoninte: I made it up.**

 **: It's not so much that I'm on a schedule, as much as I've been incredibly tired lately. But thank you for the feedback.**

 **Those are all the ones I want to address this time around, so let's get started.**

 **Chapter 40: Travel to the Coast**

Naruto was panting tiredly as he held a rigid attack posture, his eyes never leaving Haku and Zabuza as they circled around him. In comparison, they looked fresh as daisies, barely sweating.

"Gaki, it's only been thirty minutes."

"Try saying that when you're the one physically manifesting Chakra and focusing on it enough to keep it there while under attack from two fronts."

"... excellent point. Although I'm impressed by the range of weapons you're making with it."

"My official title is 'Utility Ninja', so I have to be able to pull any attack out of nowhere."

"I think he's doing very well in that regard," Haku chimed in. Zabuza hefted Kubikiribocho, on loan from the young man before him for training purposes, and rested it on his shoulder.

"What are you gonna do if what your Suna friend said is true?"

"If it comes down to that, I'll need Kubikiri in your hands while I deal with the immediate problems."

"I can't wield it as effectively as you though."

"But you can use it as easily. It responds to your will alone outside of the Uzumaki, so if anyone else tried using it, they'd fry, and I'll be too busy to bust out the big shit. The logical answer is to have..." Naruto trailed off as a messenger hawk appeared above, signaling that they had been summoned by the Hokage. In a flash, they all vanished in a _**shunshin**_ and blurred into existence in the Hokage's office, with said man and Jiraiya standing before them.

"Naruto, I'm giving you three a mission."

"What? Jiji I need to train for the Finals."

"I realize that, but this is important. I need you to head towards the coast and escort the Mizukage here." Zabuza froze at the words.

"Jiji, it's been a week and a half. Travel from Kiri takes at least two."

"The missive said the Mizukage was more than confident that at least one Kiri Genin would make it to the finals, and so started out early."

"Lovely."

"Any word on if it's Yagura still?" Zabuza suddenly asked. Jiraiya chose this moment to interject.

"My spies tell me that Yagura is in maximum security with his chakra sealed for the moment. It seems the current Mizukage noticed something off about his behavior and is investigating it further. By all accounts, he might very well be there, under heavy guard so the Mizukage can keep an eye on him."

"Fuck."

"Momochi Zabuza, you are an official Konoha Nin. The Mizukage was informed of this development shortly after your parole started, and has agreed not to attack you for your previous Nuke-nin status, so long as you do not antagonize anyone in the company."

Zabuza nodded, but his scowl was still visible through his bandages.

"I might have something to add to this," came a baritone from the door. Naruto raised his hand in greeting without looking back.

"Hey Nagato."

"Naruto-sama."

"Nagato."

"Jiraiya-sensei."

"So what's up?"

"Two new developments have come forth. First and foremost, I feel it is prudent to warn you that several members of the Akatsuki Guard,"

"Akatsuki Guard?" Jiraiya cut in with a confused frown.

"Yes, after Naruto-sama took the Mantle of Uzumaki Clan Head and made me the clan Guardmaster, he found it sufficient to re-purpose the Akatsuki into an elite guard for Uzushio."

"I see," Hiruzen said quietly, taking a pull from his pipe.

"Jiji I already told you my plans. Nagato, continue."

"Hai. Several members of the Akatsuki guard have defected with Madara and split off, leaving us slightly short of ten."

"How many have we left?"

"Five out of the nine that were left after Orochimaru left our group."

"Let's see... Counting Itachi-nii-chan, there's probably Kisame and Sasori, plus you and Konan."

"Correct."

"So, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, and this Zetzu guy you told me about left?"

"Technically speaking, Kakuzu is unaffiliated at the moment. He was unsure if he would stay with us, or join Madara. He informed me he'd have a choice within two months."

"Let's try our best to convince him. Bribe him if you must, but with his abilities, he'd be a great asset. Deidara doesn't worry me, Zetzu and Hidan have my concern though."

"I'll be sure to attempt to sway Kakuzu."

"What was the second thing?"

"Uzumaki Honoka will be accompanying the Mizukage, so I would request that you make the trip as an Envoy of the Uzumaki Clan, with a few of the Guard."

"While also being a Shinobi of Konoha?" Hiruzen asked.

"Were the Uzumaki not a founding clan of the Leaf?"

"They were," the Hokage admitted.

"Then there should be no issue. Also, Naruto-sama, I have completed the Hiate-ates you requested." Naruto nodded and held his hand over his shoulder expectantly, feeling a metal plate come to rest in it, he pulled it into view to inspect the symbol.

The metal band rested on a black cloth, it's newness causing glints. The symbol inscribed in the metal was similar to the Uzumaki Crest on his sleeveless hoodie, but instead of being a closed spiral, it was an open vortex that formed a perfect circle, even without the defining lines of the closing circle.

"How many did you have made?"

"Two hundred to start, and we can commission more later."

"Thank you Nagato. Please hand one to Zabuza, and make sure the Guard have one each. Have Kisame and Sasori meet me at the north gate in three hours."

"How do you know they could make it in time?"

"You wouldn't have suggested that I have some of the Akatsuki Guard accompany me if you couldn't have them get to me in quick order. I'm going to assume they're waiting about three clicks outside the Village?"

"Indeed. And Itachi has informed me that he will be rejoining the Guard as soon as he completes five more missions, though he finds the idea of becoming your Vassal quite odd."

"Duly noted. You may go, Nagato, and be sure to keep an eye out for recruits for the guard."

"Hai." Nagato left with a deep bow to the teen. All the time, Jiraiya, Hiruzen, Haku, and Zabuza had been looking on with both awe and bewilderment at how business-like the blond had become, and how easily he assumed the role of a clan leader.

"Naruto-kun if I didn't know any better, I would swear you were planning a hostile take-over."

"I am merely preparing ahead of time for the eventualities surrounding the Move to Uzushio." Zabuza choked a bit.

"You were actually planning to leave Konoha?!"

"Yes. I refuse to remain where I am not truly wanted. The few here who want me to stay are vastly outnumbered by those he despise my very existance." Zabuza shot an incredulous glance at the aged Kage, who merely nodded sadly.

"I see."

"Zabuza, get ready for travel and transport. Be at the north gate in three hours."

"Hai," Zabuza said, dipping his head while simultaneously holding out the Executioners' Blade to it's owner. Naruto took it and placed it on his back, the magnetic strap attaching to his scabbard belt already in place for his Katana and Tanto.

"Naruto," Jiraiya said with clear unease. "Every time I see you, you get more and more intimidating. Not only are you armed with two full-sized swords and two short blades, but you're carrying around that big-ass cleaver like it weighs nothing."

"I'll be taking that as a compliment, Ero-sennin. If you'll excuse me, I have to get ready and inform Kasi oba-chan that I'll be gone for a few days."

"I'll have Asuma keep up with Konohamaru and Inari's training while you're gone," Hiruzen put in, shuffling through some of his paperwork, drawing a nod from his grandson.

"Don't let him neglect Shika's training though. The bum needs to be ready for the Finals."

"Noted. Safe journey."

"Later Jiji."

With that, Naruto turned and strode from the room, exiting the tower completely, ignoring the looks from the Secretary, and made quick time to the Sarutobi compound. He had, in short order, packed all he would need and put the storage scroll in his waist pouch. Witht hat, he stepped into the kitchen, absently petting Tora on the way, to find Inari and Konohamaru arguing over something while Kono's mother was making lunch.

"Oba-chan," he said, drawing all of their attention to his form in the doorway. Inari and Kono lit up at the sight.

"You have a mission, don't you?" Kasi asked tiredly, stirring the stew she was finishing.

"Hai. I leave in a few hours."

"Would you mind running a few errands for me first?"

"I'm really sorry, but I can't. I have to take care of a few things around the Village before I leave." his aunt pouted. He chuckled. "I'll send Tou-chan back for lunch."

"Thank you, Naruto-kun." he waved as he turned and left. Inari and Kono just sat there, slack-jawed, at how he'd seemingly ignored them.

They never noticed the new headband around his right bicep.

 **With Naruto- heading towards training ground ten**

Naruto moved fairly quickly, his hands still in his pockets, and made it to Team Ten's training ground of choice in a few minutes. He saw Asuma putting Shikamaru through what appeared to be a harrowing physical work-out while Choji and Ino sparred.

"Tou-chan!" he called, waving a bit. Asuma rose and trotted over to him, smiling slightly. "Oba-chan says lunch is ready and she wants you at the house to help clean up afterwords."

Asuma's smile fell. "You're going on a mission?"

"Hai, I have to meet the Mizukage and escort them here. I leave in a couple hours."

"Well crap."

"Jiji also said you'd be taking care of Kono and Inari's training until I get back."

Asuma frowned a bit, but nodded. "I'll have to work with them while also training Shika for the Finals. Naruto nodded, turned and left without another word.

 **Two and a half hours later- North Gate**

Naruto walked up to find the Chuunin Guards on edge, due to the presence of the two black-and-red-cloaked Akatsuki members.

"Stand down guys," he said. The Chuunin snapped glares to him, still hoolding Kunai in reverse grips.

"We don't answer to you."

"I wasn't talking to you anyway," he said simply strolling outside the gate after quickly signing the check-out slip. At his words, Kisame let go of Samehada's handle, and Sasori's tail lowered.

"You are the VIP we're escorting?" Kisame asked incredulously, recognizing the blond. Naruto nodded. Sasori spoke up, his voice deep and gravelly.

"Leader-sama told us you were Uzumaki Clan head." Naruto nodded once more. Sasori nodded and moved to take the blonds' flank while Kisame hesitantly moved to the other side. A quick puff of smoke and Zabuza had taken position in front of the teen, not even acknowledging Kisame.

"Why do you have the Kibikiribocho?" the shark-man queried as they began walking, ignoring the two still-anxious Chuunin behind them.

"I returned it to the Uzumaki clan," Zabuza supplied, not looking back. At his words, Samehada keened lightly and wiggled a bit, but Kisame quirked an eyebrow, which looked slightly comical without his usual head-gear, which had been replaced by the Uzu crest.

"Well damn."

"It'll take us two days to reach the coast, we'll stay in the local village overnight after picking up the Mizukage and their entourage, then head back."

"Why should I listen to you?" Kisame asked with some hostility. Naruto kept walking, not even sparing him a glance.

"Because as you already know the Akatsuki has been repurposed into an elite guard for the Uzumaki Clan head, me, and when we return to Uzushio after the Chuunin Exams, I'll be taking the Title of Uzukage, according to Nagato, and you'll be under my command anyway."

"Who is Nagato?" Sasori asked suddenly.

"That's Pein's real name." Sasori grunted, his head swiveling side-to-side to look out for nay problems.

"I do have a reputation for killing people I'm allied with," Kisame said with a feral grin.

"Not when they could kill you," Naruto said without missing a beat.

"Didn't look like you could kill me last time."

"Last time I was recovering from a serious injury, and I didn't have some of the advantages I have now."

"Such as?"

"The Rinnegan," Zabuza supplied. "The Uzumkai Creation Kekkei, full use of his body, and the Kubikiribocho."

"Not to mention I'm better now with the UzuRyuu than I was back then." Kisame grumbled at the new information.

"I get it already."

"Kisame, I'm well aware of your penchant for slaughtering comrades. I intend to make use of it if I ever have need."

"I take it we won't just be sitting around all day and keeping an eye on you?"

"Fuck no, that would be a waste of your talents. I'll always have three guards on rotation while others from the Akatsuki Guard run missions and keep order."

"Thank Kami," Kisame sighed. "I hate sitting around."

After the conversation died, they moved along in silence for several hours, before Kisame spoke up again.

"Why aren't we tree-hopping? It would be faster."

"Sasori doesn't look especially nimble," Naruto answered, getting a grunt from said man. "and even if we did, when we got to our destination, we'd just be sitting around for a day or two while we wait for the Mizukage to make landfall."

"Oh."

"Uzukage-sama," Sasori said, apparently having trouble getting it out. "May I speak?"

"You don't have to ask Sasori. I always appreciate outside input."

"I don't see how a child like you can be Clan Head when Leader-sama is older an more experienced in leading large gatherings."

"Nagato willingly gave me the position. His father was the brother of the last Clan Head, my maternal Grandfather, so he didn't see it as his right to take the role on."

"hmm," Sasori grunted again. "It'll take a while to adjust to being ordered around by a brat."

"I realize that. All I ask is that you don't betray us or kill any comrades and turn them into your human puppets, and we'll get along just fine."

"How did you know about my puppets?"

"Subaku no Gaara is a friend of mine, and informed me of the details about you, even showing me a picture of what you look like."

"I'm not getting out of Haruko."

"I'm not asking you to. In fact, it seems quite reasonable that you would stay inside. Judging from the hunched appearance, I'm guessing it has massive defense?"

"Indeed, as well as the segmented tail, and several other weapons that I have hidden."

"I'm guessing they're all coated in poison?"

"An astute guess."

"It's a habit of the Puppet Corp."

Sasori was quiet for several moments, giving the blond an appraising look.

"How do you feel about being late?" he finally asked.

"It's unacceptable outside of extenuating circumstances," Naruto said quickly, surprising the Puppet user. "Forcing others to wait simply so you can take your time or deal with small issues is arrogant and rude."

"I think we'll get along just fine then," Sasori said before falling silent once more.

"I wish Hatake would adopt that attitude," Zabuza groused. Naruto chuckled drily.

"Fat chance. Pro tip though, if you set up a meeting with him, tell him the time is three hours before it actually is."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

The group fell silent once more, plodding along for several more hours, until dusk began setting. At Naruto's call for a halt and camp to be set up, Kisame immediately sat down and leaned against a tree, gazing around the small clearing they were in intently. Sasori stayed exactly where he was, seemingly already asleep, and Naruto remained standing, his arms crossed, a frown on his face.

Only Zabuza began unpacking a tent and sleeping bag.

 _Are you sure I can do this?_

 _ **Among the many other advantages the**_ _ **Rinnegan**_ _ **gives you, it also gives you an equal affinity for all seven releases.**_

 __ _So I can use Katon, Suiton, Fuuton, Doton, Raiton, Yin AND Yang without effort?_

 _ **Well, not without effort, but they're all equal, yes. Remember, Tou-san invented Ninjutsu, or it's predecessor anyway, and his Dojutsu allowed him to know all forms of such, and teach them to specialized desciples.**_

 __ _Thus the creation of Chakra Affinities and Elemental Kekkei I take it?_

 _ **Correct. When people first started Ninshu, elemental affinities weren't even a concept, so people busted their asses to train in various styles. And if they happened to find someone who trained the same elements and mated...**_

 _Thus the Kekkei Genkai was born._

 _ **And the Kekkei Tota.**_

 _I'm sure the Raikage would have a coronary if he found out about this fact._

 _ **Agreed, but focus. You ca do this, kit. Just remember to balance the two perfectly.**_

 _It's a good fucking thing I had already done some training for every element to stick to my job title, or I'd fuck it up beyond repair._

 _ **Told you it would help out eventually. So remember the hands signs are...**_

 _Snake, rat, ox, ram, snake._ __Even as Naruto thought the sequence, his hands flew through it quickly, before he slammed his hand into the ground.

" **Mokuton: Shichuka no Jutsu!** " at his shout, four pillars of wood sprouted quickly and rose several feet, before tenting together to a point, and wooden walls slammed together between them, a door forming right before Naruto's shocked eyes. He'd actually just used Mokuton.

"Ho-ly shit," Zabuza whistled. Naruto panted slightly and stepped back.

"Seriously," he sighed. "Is there a limit to how insanely overpowered I can get?"

"Apparently not," Zabuza answered, still staring at the new structure. Then, he cast a look at the blond. "Can you only use Mokuton?" Naruto shook his head.

"My _**Rinnegan**_ gives me an affinity for all seven releases, so I could feasibly use any combination thereof, be it Kekkei Genkai or Kekkei Tota. According to Kyuubi anyway." Kisame whistled appreciatively as Zabuza appeared gobsmacked.

"Hyoton?"

"Yes."

"Futton?"

"Yes."

"Yoton?"

"Again, yes. As well as any others you can think of, plus Kekkei Totas, so stop asking."

"I am now legitimately scared of you," Kisame piped in, giving the blond a look of new respect.

"I'm scared of myself, honestly," Naruto shrugged. "No-one should have this kind of power, and yet, here I am. Let's head inside."

 **The next day- late afternoon**

The second day of travel had passed without incident, and Naruto and his guards made it to the coastal town that was their destination just as the sun kissed the horizon.

"When is the Mizukage supposed to get here?" Sasori asked.

"The ship should make land here in a few minutes," Naruto informed him, moving to stand at a a parade rest. True to his words, a sailing ship flying the flag of Kirigakure appeared in the bay within moments, and docked soon thereafter. When the gangplank lowered, Naruto was mildly surprised to see a shapely woman with auburn hair and a blue battle dress begin disembarking, the hat of the Mizukage resting around her neck. She glanced around quickly and easily noticed the blond.

She began moving toward him, then stopped, going rigid.

"I was only informed of Zabuza-kun's defection."

"Mizukage-sama," Naruto said with a slight bow as his three guards stood at attention. "I give you my word that Hoshigaki Kisame harbors no ill intent towards you or your Shinobi. He is here in the capacity of an Uzumaki Guard, no more. But if it would make you more comfortable, I could dismiss him?"

"I ain't letting you outta my sight," Kisame snapped. "Both Itachi and Leader-sama would have my head."

"If I have your absolute word that he will make no hostile action, then it's fine," the woman smiled as she resumed walking. "I'm Terumi Mei,"

"A pleasure," Naruto answered politely, shaking her outstretched hand politely. "We were informed that you had the former Mizukage in custody?"

"Yes, he is belowdecks at the moment, being watched by one of my better Kunoichi, Uzumaki Honoka."

"I see," Naruto said calmly, crossing his arms. "Hokage-sama is expecting us back in Konoha the day after tomorrow, so we can rest here in the town tonight."

"Thank you, I assume you've already made the necessary lodgings available?"

"No, actually, we only arrived ourselves a few minutes ago. Zabuza, please find a suitable inn and book as many rooms as are available."

"Hai," the masked nin said as Naruto handed him his wallet, which was full to bursting.

"And I swear to Kami, if you buy anything else, I will fucking feed you to Kisame's sharks." Zabuza paled and nodded quickly. "and be careful with Gama-chan."

"Gama-chan?" Kisame quirked an eyebrow.

"I was five, shut up."

"I think it's adorable!" came a new voice, slightly high-pitched, obviously female. Naruto looked back towards the Mizukage to see a young woman, about eighteen maybe, with hair as red as Karin's, tied in a low ponytail reminiscent of Neji, with her bangs framing her Kirigakure Hiate-ate.

"Uzumaki Honoka, I take it?" he asked cautiously. The girl was instantly on edge, but nodded. Naruto surprised Kisame and Sasori by bowing to her, deeper than he had to Mei, showing her his back as he held out one hand to the side in a flourish.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Clan Head of the Uzumaki, at your service. Our cousins send their regards along as well." he rose from his low bow to see the utter shock on her face, causing a grin to spread across his face. "We were not wholly wiped out, Honoka, We scattered to the winds to carry on our lines in new homes, and now, we are trying to regroup and reform what once was. In addition to my escort of Mizukage-sama, I also come as the envoy of our clan, to greet you and put forward the invitation to join us if you so choose, with consent from your Kage of course," he added with a respectful nod to the woman in question, who also appeared shocked. While they sat there gaping, he took the time to observe the man in chains next to Honoka.

He was fairly short, and appeared quite young, with tousled light brown hair and a scar running under his left eye. The most striking feature, though, was the dead look in his eyes, like he wasn't even there at all. Naruto's curiosity was piqued most by the trace of energy coming from him. It felt familiar. His eyes widened quickly and his jaw dropped slightly.

 _Are you fucking kidding me?_

 _ **Apparently not. This guy is Isobu's Jinchuuriki.**_

 _Which one is Isobu again?_

 _ **The Sanbi you idiot.**_ With a determined look, Naruto stepped closer to the comatose man, bbut stopped when he felt several tanto blades rest at his neck, which had Sasori and Kisame quickly drawing their weapons in response. Naruto turned his head to look at a dark-haired man with an eye patch and sealing tags for earrings.

"Step away from him."

"If I so wanted I could kill you before you could channel Chakra through your stolen _**Byakugan**_ , or strike with that tanto you have placed at the base of my neck. If you want to live, remove it and step away from me." the man looked slightly astonished that Naruto had figured out about his _**Byakugan**_ , but glared even more.

"I seriously doubt it, whelp. You're far too young, and you haven't experienced the hell of war."

"Ao," Kisame called to the man, who didn't even flinch. "I would think long and hard about what you're doing and who you're threatening. Not only is he a clan head, he's the Hokage's grandson, and has a Kekkei Genkai that trumps everyone here. I seriously doubt you want to start an international incident over a teenager's curiosity." Ao didn't back down, his visible eye glaring down the blond's side-viewed _**Rinnegan**_ with no small amount of animosity.

" _Step away from him, now you piece of..._ "

"Finish that sentence, and you will discover just how strong I truly am." Naruto cut him off with an even colder glare. "You say I haven't experienced hell. What would you know of hell? So you fought a war on a battlefield, good for you. Hell, you even got a spoil of war out of it. But have you had to fight a war of attrition to survive? Have you ever gone hungry for days because you can't scrounge for food? Have you ever had the hate of an entire village leveled at your very existence? You know nothing of hell, for you have lived the pampered life of a War Hero. Hell is not a battlefield, eye thief. Hell is the cold ground in the middle of winter with no blanket to warm you and only rags for protection. Hell is learning to run even when you don't have the energy to crawl so you can avoid a mob. I have lived through a thousand hells, and come through each time through will alone. No amount of skill allows you to boast that. Now get that fucking blade off my neck." Still, Ao didn't move. But Mei did.

The Mizukage reached over and snagged the man by the ear, eliciting a squeal, and yanked him harshly away from the blond who was exuding such a dangerous aura. Naruto nodded to her, and returned his gaze to the former Mizukage. He walked around the man, eyeing him up and down critically, until he came back to his face. Then, he tapped his knuckles to the man's limp hand.

 **Jinchuuriki Mindspace**

"Well, this is unexpected," came a light-hearted voice with a chuckle. Naruto looked around to see the same man he had just inspected grinning down at him, his legs resting comfortably, his left elbow propped on his knee, holding up his chin. In his right hand rested a staff with a hook and flower on the end, tilting over his shoulder. As opposed to before, thee man's eyes were now aglimmer with life and mischief. Resting on top of a giant, spike-ridden turtle with only one eye showing, and three massive tails thrashing around behind it, he had an air of planning a party.

"Been a while since I've seen anyone else in here."

"What's your name?"

"It's customary to introduce yourself first, you know. Rules of etiquette and all that."

"Uzumaki Naruto." the man smiled even wider, but didn't move an inch otherwise.

"Yagura."

 **A/N: Cut! That's a wrap! On to the interview!**

 **Hybrid: Hey again everybody! This time on 'The ANBU Genin' we have a special guest once again! Let's all give a warm welcome to Tigrezztail! Welcome aboard, Tail!**

 **Tail: Well hello! I can't tell you how excited I am to be here! I'm such a huge fan, I couldn't believe it when I got invited to be here live!**

 **Hybrid: And we're excited to have you! Now, obvious standard first queestion; what caused you to open the story and begin reading?**

 **Sasuke: Maybe he saw the Naruto/ Haku tag and thought it was a Yoi?**

 **Hybrid: GAH! SHUT UP SASUKE!**

 **Tail: Actually, I was kinda hoping it was. Typically, though it's a Fem!Haku story. I read a lot of those anyway because some of them have really good stories. Also, Naruto adoption fics are pretty varied, and I love seeing how different authors believe the world would change. I loved to write when I was younger, but was far too indecisive. So reading Fanfic is about as close as I can get to seeing every possibility out there. I give most anything a try, before deciding what doesn't interest me. I guess you could say I have an open mind.**

 **Sasuke: *fist pump* Called it.**

 **Hybrid: Shut the fuck up, ducky. Anyway, tail. You've been with me for... what like twenty or so chapters? Is there anything you want to say about the story so far that wasn't in your reviews? Questions? Comments? Gripes? Complaints?**

 **Sasuke: I have a few actually.**

 **Hybrid: Too bad, this isn't about you.**

 **Tail: Nope, I pretty much put everything in the reviews, and if I forget something, I PM. I really don't like nitpicking, because a few spelling/ grammar errors have become the norm in today's writing world. As long as I can understand what you were trying to convey, I'm good.**

 **Hybrid: Well thanks! And I realize I make some mistakes, though I try to keep them to a minimum, but hey, no-one's perfect, right?**

 **Sasuke: I am.**

 **Hybrid: You're canonically an arrogant, self-centered jackass who doesn't give a damn about the consequences of his actions.**

 **Sasuke:... shut up.**

 **Hybrid: Anyway, last question! Where do you hope to see the story go in the future?**

 **Tail: Eh?! Don't ask me that! That's like asking an eight ball! You can't stop shaking it until you see every each possibility! Besides, I enjoy being surprised.**

 **Hybrid: Well, thanks for your time! That's all we can slot in today, but thanks for being here with us today! See ya'll next time!**

 **Tail: Bye!**


	41. Chapter 41: Problems with Power

**Chapter 41: Problems with Power**

" **You do realize we're here too, right?** " asked the giant turtle with an annoyed grunt. Naruto nodded to him slightly, then bowed to the Sanbi.

"I apologize if it was rude of me to address your Jinchuuriki first, Isobu-sama. It was not my intent to cause offense."

" **You told him my name** ," Isobu looked behind Naruto in shock.

" **The Kit can be trusted, Isobu,** " Came Kurama's booming voice. " **He has a special power rarely seen in humans. He holds naught but forgiveness and care in his violent little heart, and only wants the best for even those who would do him harm. He grew strong through sheer will, and did so to protect his family.** " Naruto smiled slightly at Kurama's praise. They might bicker sometimes, but ultimately they were friends and partners. The bickering came from being stuck together Twenty-four/ Seven. Isobu gave a contemplative hum, gazing at the blond teen with his one eye.

" **He has even gone so far as to offer to end his own life merely so I could be free,** " Kurama added with some hesitation. This had happened shortly after Naruto joined the Academy.

 **Flashback**

 _"Kurama, I'm sorry."_

 _" **For what?** " Kurama asked without opening his eyes to look at the blond leaning near his massive orb._

 _"I'm sorry that you've been confined for close to a hundred years. I'm sorry that you've had freedom ripped from you at every turn. I'm sorry I'm your Jinchuuriki," Naruto said quietly._

 _" **I'm not,** " Kurama rumbled. He stretched, enjoying being full-size once more, a side-effect of a full partnership between the two. " **You only use my Chakra with permission, you always consider my opinion and what I want before doing something, and you're attempting to find a way to free me.** "_

 _"I already found one," came the surprising answer. Kurama snapped an eye open to gaze at the sullen boy, his normally bright blue eyes cold and dark._

 _" **No,** " he immediately growled, eliciting no response from the teen. " **I will not accept freedom at the cost of your life being far too short. You're still far too young to be contemplating that.** "_

 _"You already know how bad I am, Kurama. You're up here all day, every day," Naruto all but whispered, gesturing vaguely at his head. "Honestly, I don't think anyone would really miss me. Tou-chan is probably going to get with Kurenai any day now, and they'll more than probably have a child together. Konohamaru is young, he'll be able to recover. And to Jiji, no matter how much he tries to show otherwise, all I am is a military asset. Who would miss someone like me?" the last few words showed just how vulnerable and alone Naruto really felt._

 _" **I would.** "_

 **Flashback end**

That wasn't a particularly happy memory for the Fox, especially considering the incident when Naruto was younger.

" **I see you're still adamant about living up to Tou-sama's expectations of yo** u,"Isobu stated. " **It's ironic, really. The only ones who still do that are you, Son Goku, and Chomei. The rest of us have lost faith in his words, and the human race in general.** "

" **I realize that,** " Kurama answered. " **That's one of the reasons I don't like associating with you assholes. You're dishonoring the man who breathed life into our existance. You disgrace the very name of Bijuu.** " Isobu seemed to shrug as if it didn't matter to him any.

"If I may," Naruto spoke up. "What exactly was the role of each Bijuu?" Isobu gazed at him inquisitively.

" **We were to be guardians,** " Kurama said, forcing Naruto to turn and face him. " **Each of us were to guard one thing in the world that the Rikkudo Sennin held dear. Shukaku was supposed to protect hope, to guide those lost in despair back to life. Matatabi was to protect passion, to ensure that love was never lost from the world. Isobu,** " he said with a nod to the turtle. " **Was to guard knowledge, he was supposed to gather as much as he could and share it with those who seek it, that ignorance can be removed. Son Goku protects nature, to the best of his ability, that the beauty that was is not replaced by the beauty that could be. Kokuo was supposed to guard imagination, to ensure creativity never dies, so that always we stride forward. Saiken was supposed to protect honesty, so vows be kept and conflict didn't arise. Chomei guards laughter, and luck I suppose, so joy can always be found, even in the bleakest moments. Gyuki was to protect ambition, that always people could follow their dreams.** "

"And what about you?" Yagura asked lightly, gazing up at the towering creature. "What is it you persist in guarding?"

" **Children. I was tasked with protecting children, that each generation be better than the last.** "

" **And such a marvelous job you've done, Kurama,** " Isobu snidely commented. " **Orphans freezing and starving to death. Hatchlings sent off to slaughter so that geezers can make themselves fat off their suffering. Oh yes, today's world is in much better shape than it was eons ago when we were given our duties.** "

"Isobu-sama, is it possible Kurama could be unable to perform his duties as well as he wants to because the rest of you have given up?"

" **What was that you blond-haired wretch?** "

"Well, without hope, imagination, honesty, knowledge, and motivation, does not the world seem bleak? When an arranged marriage bears a child, there is no passion involved, and the child grows up in a broken home. If only laughter and nature remain, then what good is it when the children grow? Without the honesty to keep their word, deceit is inevitable, thus the Shinobi was born. Without kowledge to pass on, people are raised in ignorance, not knowing any better than what the Shinobi world has taught them. Two or three cannot protect the world in it's entirety- it requires all the elements to be present. Each of these traits you Bijuu were meant to guard from destruction are still around, true, but less so than even a hundred years ago. They are dying flames, flickering before the dark that is this world we inhabit. When standing alone, a candle will sputter and die in the face of a hurricane, but when linked together, it can form a great flame that can dispel the water, no matter how it lashes." Naruto laid it all out, causing Kurama to grin proudly. Isobu merely stared at him.

" **And how would you suggest I keep to my task when Humanity has not proven worthy of this knowledge? When they use it for deceit and personal gain?** "

"Sometimes, all you can do is grit your teeth and have faith. Faith that a few will rise above, that a few might lead the way to the world the Rikkudo Sennin wanted." Isobu remained silent, staring contemplatively at the boy. Naruto took this as his indication to speak with Isobu's Jinchuuriki. "You seem much livelier here than in the physical world. Why is that?"

Yagura shrugged. "I would assume it's the Genjutsu I'm under." Naruto quirked an eyebrow in question. "Shortly after I became Mizukage, a strange man attacked me and forced me under a powerful Genjutsu that Isobu couldn't help break. It made me a puppet to the man, who started forcing me to do things I wouldn't normally do, such as beginning the bloodline purges. I hold the utmost respect for Kekkei Genkai holders; they have incredible abilities and generally know how to use them very well. In fact, one of my best friends has two of them."

"Who is this person?"

"Her name is Terumi Mei, and she's absolutely incredible," Yagura answered with a fond smile, hoping down from the Sanbi's head to stand before the blond. "She's smart, funny, and can melt your face off in three different ways."

"The current Mizukage?" Naruto asked, causing Yagura to jolt in surprise.

"Mei became Mizukage?"

"Yes, she's currently standing fairly close actually. I'm escorting her to Konoha for the Chuunin exam finals." Yagura smirked.

"Kiri actually sent a team to Konoha for those?"

"Not just Kiri, but all the of the Big Five." Yagura _hmm_ 'd in thought.

"Well then, this should be interesting. If I may ask though, why'd that old Codger of a Hokage send a kid to escort a Kage?"

"Because I'm not just some kid," Naruto answered with a laugh. "I'm, by all accounts, the best shinobi Konohagakure has. I'm an ex-ANBU, first choice for ANBU Commander, and the only Shinobi in history with a flee-on-rumor listing in the bingo book as opposed to flee-on-sight." Yagura gaped a bit.

" _You're_ the Leaf ANBU _Kage_?" Naruto nodded, drawing a whistle from the man. "Damn, that's some serious firepower you got there, kid. Plus, you're a jinchuuriki with full control over your Bijuu's power? Hot damn."

"I also happen to be an Uzumaki, and the Hokage's adopted grandson, and I have the _**Rinnegan,**_ " Naruto added, gesturing to his eyes. Yagura nodded.

"With all that, there's just one thing I want to ask you."

"And that is?"

"How are you with Genjutsu?"

"Personally or with help from Kurama?"

"Both, I guess."

"On my own, I can detect Genjutsu up to B-Rank, and break them with some difficulty, but can't cast one at all." Yagura frowned at this information. "But with help from Kurama, well... so far, we haven't found a Genjutsu yet that can hold us longer than ten seconds. Although I can only cast one A-rank or higher because of the size of my chakra reserves."

"Yes, I imagine as an Uzumkai and a Jinchuuriki both, they're absolutely insane. So, there is one other thing I feel I should mention about this Genjutsu I'm under. The man who placed it on me was wearing a strange mask, and had a _**Sharingan**_ ," Yagura said without a hint of emotion. Naruto growled.

"Madara."

"Uchiha Madara? One of the founders of Konoha?"

"That's the name he goes by," Naruto confirmed. "But Kurama says his chakra felt different, so we're assuming for the moment that he's taken the name as an alias, or some kind of title. We do know, however that he has a _**Mangekyo Sharingan**_ , and is able to control the Bijuu with it. He might be using a slightly altered form of that against you. If that _is_ the case, there's only two ways that we know of to break you out."

"And what are those?"

"We kill Madara."

"Or?"

"Or we cause you enough pain to fluctuate your entire Chakra system at once, momentarily opening the _**Hachimon**_ all at once."

"And how exactly can you do that? As far as I know, that would kill me."

"Luckily, we have Maito Gai- a man who can open all eight gates, and has a possibility of surviving. He's done extensive study into the gates, and has learned much about them. There is one sure-fire way to open all eight at once for a brief moment, and survive."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense!"

"We have to amputate a limb."

Silence reigned for a moment as Yagura appeared aghast.

"What?"

"We have to hack one of your limbs off. Merely damaging you wouldn't be nearly painful enough, and a inflicting a possibly fatal wound without a medic around is just plain stupid. So, we have to violently remove one of your limbs." Yagura turned an amusing shade of green and began dry-heaving, causing Naruto to laugh uproariously. "I'm just fucking with you," he said between his ringing laughs. "There's an easier version. All you have to do is pump all your chakra as best you can in here while we lop off one finger." Yagura groaned slightly and straightened himself.

"I hate you so much."

"I get that a lot. So, which finger are you willing to part with? No matter which one it is, I could save it and we can re-attach it later." Yagura paled at the thought, but inspected his hands closely, his face becoming resolute.

"My left ring finger." Naruto nearly choked on his own spit.

"Your marriage finger? Why?"

"Because I wasn't strong enough to resist this 'Madara' and was forced to do atrocious things because of it. I have lost all right to find someone to love." Naruto gazed at the man, who by all counts was roughly the same age as the Yondaime Hokage, and felt pity. He nodded solemnly and patted Yagura on the shoulder.

"I take it you won't want it reattached then?" Yagura shook his head 'no'.

"It would take away the meaning. I'll just learn to make handsigns again without it."

"Alright... wait a few minutes for me to get outside and get prepared, then begin blasting your Chakra, and Isobu's too if you can."

"Can you tell Mei something for me before you do it?"

"Sure."

"Tell her 'the Mist is always thickest just before the dawn burns it away', she'll know what it means." Naruto nodded and surged his Chakra for a moment, drawing himself from the Bijuu mindspace, and back into the physical world.

 **Outside**

Naruto opened his eyes and looked around to see everyone crowded around him. Or more accurately, Kisame, Zabuza, and Sasori lined up in behind him, keeping everyone from crowding around him.

"I'm gonna kill that damn gaki," Zabuza bit out.

"What was that?" Naruto asked, causing the man to stiffen in shock.

"Nothing, nothing." Naruto grinned for a moment, then turned to the Mizukage.

"I have a message for you, Mei." the woman quirked her visible eyebrow and rested a hand on her shapely hip. "The Mist is always thickest just before the dawn burns it away." Mei's eyes widened and her mouth fell open as she went pale, her pupils dilating alarmingly. Naruto turned back to the comatose man before him and swiped out a kunai. He rested it against Yagura's left ring finger, hearing shouts of alarm and anger behind him. He waited a moment, until he felt energy begin pouring out of the man's stomach. That was his que. He snapped his wrist forward in one smooth motion, loping off the digit.

"THAT'S IT!" he heard Ao shout, presumably before he barreled through Naruto's guards. Naruto blinked, and suddenly the space before him was empty, and Ao was making a gagging sound, followed by a loud thud as his head presumably hit the concrete. Naruto turned to see he was right.

Yagura had choke-slammed the man into the ground, despite him being the shorter of the two, and was kneeling over him, glaring down at the dark-haired man.

"You've always been reckless, Ao," he said with mild annoyance. "But I'd have thought you'd at least be smart enough to not attack the Hokage's grandson and risk starting a war, no matter the circumstances." Ao gazed up at the man with unhidden fear as it settled in what had happened. It didn't help that the former Mizukage was holding him with his newly-mutilated hand, blood pouring from the wound. Yagura glared at him a moment more, then released him and rose from his crouch, holding his hand up.

"Naruto, do you happen to have a gauze pad?"

"Indeed I do," Naruto said jovially as he whipped out said item, along with disinfectant and a roll of cloth to hold it in place. "This'll sting a bit," he warned. Yagura nodded and turned to Zabuza.

"Zabuza, good to see you again! Could I possibly borrow a Kunai?" the man nodded dumbly and pulled out a knife, handing it to the Jinchuuriki, who placed the handle in his mouth and bit down, nodding to the blond. Naruto promptly poured the disinfectant over the mutilated stump, and Yagura's jaw clenched as he stifled a scream. Naruto quickly placed the gauze pad over the injury, and began wrapping the clean cloth around it, and the hand on which it rested.

"There you go," he said as he tucked the end under an earlier layer. "Be sure to change it every day, and it should be ready to come off in about a month or two."

"Thanks," Yagura panted. Ao finally rose with a hateful glare to the blond that had all but turned his world upside down within an hour of meeting. His teeth gritting was audible. Yagura snapped a glare only a Kage could pull off, as did Mei, but Naruto stepped forward.

"You clearly have some issue with me, Ao-san. Since you seem so dead-set on hating me, I would ask what your issue is, and what you would do given the chance."

"You are an upstart who speaks out of turn and doesn't respect those who are your elders! You prance and preen as though nothing can faze you, and I would take you down to where you should be!"

"I see," Naruto said slowly, while turning to Mei. "Mizukage-sama, it would be counter-productive to peace between our villages if we hate each other." Mei nodded acknowledgment. "It would seem to me the only course of action is to allow Ao-san to vent his frustration as he sees fit, but away from the village, so as to avoid civilian casualties." Mei's jaw dropped, her lips forming a perfect 'O' in her surprise.

"Ao-kun is one of our best shinobi, Uzumaki-san."

"And I can assure you I can take whatever he may dish out. I would rather have this out of the way now, than let his anger fester." Mei shared a quick look with Yagura, who nodded.

"It's the wisest course of action, Mei-chan," the former Mizukage and still-technically-prisoner said quietly. "I'm sure they can both avoid lethal force." Mei sighed explosively and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Fine," she finally said, exhaustion lacing her voice. "But we're all going to make sure you don't kill each other." Naruto nodded as Zabuza and Kisame converged on him with scowls.

"What are you doing?" Kisame hissed. "We can't allow this to happen, we'll be roasted!" Naruto looked at his guard.

"As Uzumaki Clan Head, I am ordering you, my Akatsuki Guard, to stand down for the duration of this fight. If Nagato and Itachi find a problem, I will deal with it." Kisame opened his mouth to speak once more, but was cut off by the Uzumaki lifting his hand in a silent order. "Kisame, I realize you're trying to do your job, but I can more than take care of myself. As much as I appreciate your concern, even if it stems more from worry for yourself than for me, this is something I have to do." the two swordsman looked at each other for a moment, looked back at the teen, then shrugged.

"Alright," they said in sync. Naruto nodded and turned to Ao.

"There is a fairly large clearing two kilometers in that direction," he stated, pointing west. "It should suit our purposes." the entire group, a total of twenty people if you counted, Naruto and his three guards, nodded and took off, arriving there in moments. Ao took a ready stance on one end of the clearing while Naruto did something Zabuza didn't expect. He took off every weapon he had. He rested all his weapons, hidden as well as not, on a tree and turned to Ao, falling into the Uzuken Taijutsu stance.

"I'd put those back on," Ao sneered. "You'll need them."

"No," Naruto said resolutely. "I will face you using only Taijutsu and Ninjutsu. If I draw a blade, I am liable to end up killing you." Ao snarled and rushed the _**Rinnegan**_ wielder, slashing expertly with his kunai knife. Naruto weaved through his attacks as though the older man were standing still. Naruto continued this for two minutes, ducking under and around slashes, before Kurama urged him to fight back instead of just evade. As Ao went for a horizontal slash, Naruto jumped and tucked his legs up, coming to a crouch on the man's wrist, his hands dangling between his knees as his wrists rested on his thighs. It was a testament to Ao's physical prowess that his arm didn't even buckle, although he seemed surprised by the maneuver.

"What the hell?"

"I'll admit, Ao-san. You're fast, and your aim and timing are impeccable," Naruto drawled lazily as he felt astonished stares resting on his form. "But there's one thing your abilities lack. You have the speed, the power, and the experience, but you lack true understanding. To you, combat is just that, combat- a means to an end. You've been through war, true and had to fight for your very life, but there are some things only living as a street rat can teach you. To me, a fight isn't just a fight. It's a test of wills. If your will is strong, you survive, you win, you move on. If your will is weak, even if you win the fight, you lose. You become arrogant and conceited in your strength, and start belittling others and demand respect from those whom you do not respect. Respect is not earned through word of mouth or deeds of blood. Nor is respect freely given. To earn my respect, Ao-san, you must first show me at least kindness and an open mind, if not respect. Where we differ in our hell is that you expect respect for nothing. I work to earn it. You bemoan what was, and what you had to go through, and I push forward to the future, instead of looking back. Now, I think I've yammered long enough, it's about time I took this seriously, ne?" with that, Naruto blurred into motion, snapping his foot out and slamming the heel into Ao's cheek, knocking the man back. As the blond dynamo touched back down lightly, not raising even a puff of smoke from the dirt, he blurred forward and began laying into his opponent. He put out a right jab to the man's gut, followed by a left hook across his face, then jumped and snapped a round, delivering a powerful spin-kick into his sternum. As Ao staggered back, obviously caught off guard, Naruto leapt at him once more, doing a full roll forwards, bringing his left heel down in a falling-axe kick, which slammed the man into the ground. Naruto stepped back as he rose and wiped blood from his chin.

"I can see that you are indeed dangerous, so I'll have to give this my all," the man spat, heaving a glob of bloody spittle to the boy's feet. He began flipping through hand signs.

" _ **Suiton: Teppodama!**_ " Naruto made a sequence of hand signs at his best speed, so his hands looked like they disappeared basically, before spitting out a stream of mud.

" _ **Doton: Doryuheki!**_ " he saw the analytical gleam in the eye of the man with sealing tags for earrings.

 _Now he thinks I have an affinity for Doton, because otherwise, I'd have had to slam my hand to the ground. Nine times out of ten, he's trained in some Raiton to defeat Doton users because he knows Suiton is weak to Doton._

 _ **Good. Use that. If he thinks you only know Doton, he won't be expecting you to whip out Futon. It's too bad that pervert hasn't taught you the**_ _ **Raasengan**_ _ **.**_

 _I'm sure he's planning to, as well as trying to get me started on the_ _ **Hiraishin**_ _to turn me into a Yondaime-clone. Why is that old fucker so obsessed with legacy anyway?_ Kurama remained silent, allowing Naruto to focus back on the fight. True to his guess, Ao had pumped out a Raiton technique.

" _ **Raiton: Jibashi!**_ " Naruto quirked his yellow brow.

 _Hmm, you don't see just anyone using that Jutsu._

 _ **Focus, you idiot.**_

 _Right._ " _ **Futon: Diatoppa!**_ " Naruto slammed his hands together, then threw them outwards, pushing hurricane-force winds against the advancing electrical current, dissipating it, and pushing through to Ao, who's eye widened as he threw his arms up to protect his face. When the winds died down, his robes were shredded. He looked utterly flabbergasted, causing Naruto to smirk.

"Think that's impressive? Watch this," he chuckled, flashing through hand seals once more. " _ **Yoton: Shakugaryugan no jutsu!**_ **(Lava style: Scorching rocks jutsu)** " if Ao was surprised before, he was both utterly shell-shocked and alarmed when the blond upstart began spitting out a flurry of molten rocks the size of his chest, which came flying at him at high speed.

 _Good think Son Goku taught you that jutsu, or I wouldn't have it now._

 _ **Yes, the Yonbi is fairly generous with his Yoton techniques, even though he's the only one who can use them with ease. I suppose he thought it's be good if I had it in a pinch, even though I don't have a secondary Doton nature for it.**_ The two fell silent once more as the young Jinchuuriki continued flinging globs of lava. Had he looked, he would see Mei sit down in shock.

 _ **Kit, I have another Mokuton technique for you that I remember the Shodaime using against me.**_ Naruto mentally grunted, essentially giving the go-ahead. Kurama told him the hand sequence, and he cut off the lava to flip through them.

 _Alright. Snake, ram, hare, dog, snake._ " _ **Mokuton: Mokuryu no Jutsu!**_ " throwing his hand out, a loud crack resounded through the clearing as a nearby tree snapped in half as a wooden serpent shot out of the trunk. Naruto winced at the sound. _Gotta remember to not put so much power behind it, I don't wanna wreck the whole forest for one jutsu._

 _ **Just takes practice, like anything else.**_

 __Ao whipped towards the sound just in time to be freight-trained by the dragon, driving him into a tree on the opposite side of the clearing, it's jaws wrapped around his arms and chest, teeth gouging into to tree it had him pinned to, before it began coiling it's body around said tree, trapping him completely. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth as he panted heavily, glaring at the demon masquerading as a child before him with what energy he had, which he idly noted was being siphoned off by his wooden prison. Naruto, in answer, crouched down and adopted a pose similar to Shikamaru's 'thinking pose', a shit-eating grin on his face while a few beads of perspiration trickled down his temples.

"I'd keep going, but you seem a bit _tied up_ ," he cracked. "You're _bound_ to get angry with me, but I just can't _leaf_ it be." Zabuza and Kisame tried, they really did, but failed miserably in holding in their howls of laughter at the humiliating defeat the man had suffered, as well as their boss' stupid puns. They were soon on all fours, trying to catch their breath through the non-stops bellows. Meanwhile, Samehada purred in a way that indicated amusement.

"Unbelievable," Mei whispered, drawing an agreeing nod from Honoka, and several others. "How can one person be so strong?"

"Simple," Yagura said from his position leaning against a tree with his arms crossed. "He worked for it. He trained non-stop for years to get to this point. The only thing he didn't work for were those eyes of his, which grant him his chakra abilities. But his strength? His speed, and agility? Only bone-cracking labor can build those."

"But he's only a child..." Mei whispered, quite audibly to both Jinchuuriki and some of the higher-level shinobi. "He's too young to have to be this strong..."

 _ **I like her, kit. She gets that children should be children.**_

 _Kurama, that option was taken from me the day you were sealed into me._

 _ **Yeah, I know.**_

"Mizukage-sama," Naruto called as he turned to her. "I appreciate your concern, but for some, a childhood of joy and peace is not possible. Some are born into this world to be warriors, and some have that fate thrust upon them." with a wave of his hand, he dispelled his wood dragon, releasing Ao, who fell to the ground with a pained grunt. "We should head back into town and bunk down, Zabuza, how many rooms did you book?"

"Managed to get an entire floor," the masked-nin answered, tossing a half-full Gama-chan back to Naruto, who began crying with storm clouds over his head when he saw the state of his poor wallet. "Also thought the Mizukage and her company would appreciate a soak, so I booked the hotspring and baths whenever we get there, as well as a full meal. Ship fare sucks, so I thought they'd enjoy a real meal on steady ground."

"Thank you Zabuza-kun," Mei said with a smile while the blond who'd paid for it all held a funeral for his froggy while Kisame analyzed him.

"Zabuza," the shark-man said, leaning over.

"Hmm?"

"Run." the Demon of the Bloody Mist had only a moment to question the directive before he felt a massive dose of Killing Intent directed at him, forcing a cold sweat to break out.

"Oh shit," with that, he blasted off with a terrified wail as Naruto raged after him.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU MOMOCHI! I TOLD YOU TO ONLY GET THE ROOMS!"

"I'M SORRY! I WAS TRYING TO BE A GOOD HOST!" the entire group left behind was startled when trees began toppling with large cracking sounds and many large puffs of smoke and dust, as well as explosions without flame, possibly massive punches that hit with enough force to sound like bomb blasts. Several moments later, Naruto stalked back into the clearing, dragging a broken and bloody-looking Zabuza.

"Let's go," the blond said lamely. "I paid for it all, so we might as well make use of it." Yagura nodded, and patted the teen on the shoulder. The group set off, with Honoka eyeing her apparent Uzumaki Cousin. Just as they got to the town, she spoke up.

"If I may ask, Naruto-san, how can I be sure you're really an Uzumaki?" Naruto shrugged and formed a crimson Katana from his Chakra for a moment, then dispelled it.

"You know anyone else who can physically manifest Chakra?" Honoka looked ready to vomit as it sunk in that she had a family still alive, then she fell into deep contemplation.

"So you use your Kekkei to make Katana?" Mei asked lightly, trying to hide her subtle attempts at info-gathering. Naruto shook his head.

"I use it to make a lot of things, I've just trained with Katana for years in Uzumaki Kenjutsu, so it's the most natural to me."

"I see."

"But it's not quite my favorite," he added with a smirk, drawing a groan from a now-recovered Zabuza.

"Here we go," the man sighed. Mei looked quizzical.

"You might recognize these from the last war," Naruto said lightly, causing nearly everyone to tense up as he formed three bladed chains from his spine and had them coil around his arms and left leg. Mei turned pale and Ao made a choking noise as he backpedaled.

"Konoha's Chain Reaction..."

"Was my mother," Naruto said quietly. "And I am forever grateful to her for bringing me into this world, in spite of what I've faced. Even now, I can feel traces of her love, though I wish she had survived my birth."

"Let's get to the hotel..." Mei said awkwardly, trying to avoid the subject, given that the grief the young man was putting off was palpable and noticed even by nearby civilians. Naruto nodded slightly and motioned for Zabuza to lead the way.


	42. Chapter 42: There's a Hero

**A/N: Another song chapter**

 **Chapter 42:** **There's a Hero**

 _There's a flower in the smallest garden_ _ **  
**_ _Reaching for the light_ _ **  
**_

Naruto was clearing his aunt's garden. With no rain for two months, everything was dead, because they'd needed to conserve water. But, underneath all the dead flowers and vegetables, he found it- a single rose. It was small, but it was alive.

 _There's a candle in the darkest corner_ _ **  
**_ _Conquering the night_ __

A ten-year-old Naruto crept into Konohamru's room, checking on him. Kono had always been afraid of the dark, and he was making scared noises in hi sleep. Naruto lit a small candle and set it on the night-stand, causing his young cousin to go quiet in it's comforting light.

 _There is amazing strength In a willing hand_ _  
_ _There are victories_ _  
_ _That you've never planned_ _  
_ _There's a hero_ _  
_ _In everybody's heart_

Asuma tried ushering Naruto along, past the man who was wearing rags and sitting in the shade of an alleyway.

"Tou-chan, why isn't anyone helping him?"

"There's nothing we can do, Naru." despite these words, the blond walked up to the homeless man, who eyed him with suspicion, and held out a stack of Ryo notes.

"Here," he said quietly. "This should get you some food and a place to stay tonight

 _There's a fire inside of everybody  
Burning clear & bright  
There's a power in the faintest heartbeat  
That cannot be denied _

A newly-adopted Uzumaki-Sarutobi Naruto stood at the bedside of Sarutobi Kasi as she cradled her newborn son. With a gentle smile, he reached out and stroked the babe's hair, watching his forehead pulse with new life.

 _Go on and trust yourself  
Cause you can ride the wind  
You're gonna take your dreams  
Where's they've never been  
There's a hero In everybody's heart  
_

"Inari," a thirteen-year-old blond called. "What do you want to do with your life?" the boy looked puzzled for a moment, then his face resolved with determination.

"I want to protect my mother and my home." Naruto smiled.

 _Go on and trust yourself  
Cause you can ride the wind  
You're gonna take your dreams  
Where they've never been  
There's a hero In everybody's heart_

"Kono, what's your goal in life?" the young sarutobi looked at his cousin with confusion, then seemed to mull it over.

"I think... I want to be happy, wherever that takes me. As long as I'm happy, Kaa-san will be happy, right?" Naruto smiled warmly and ruffled his cousin's hair.

 **A/N: this song brought to you by Mister Billy Gilman.**


	43. Chapter 43: Family Reunion

**Chapter 43: Family Reunion**

"Uzumaki-san, if I may?"

"Of course Mizukage-sama," Mei frowned at the title and glanced at Yagura, who shook his head.

"The Title is yours, Mei-chan." Mei huffed but turned back to the house in the middle of the woods they had reached after a day of travel in silence.

"Did you make this?"

"Yes. I was testing out if I could really use Mokuton on our way to pick you up."

"It seems a bit small for twenty people."

"That's true." Naruto flashed through seals again and slammed his right hand into the ground.

" _ **Mokuton: Shichuka no Jutsu!**_ " with those words, another building sprouted right next to the original. "There, that should do. One for the men, and one for the ladies." Mei looked at him in surprise. "What? You thought I'd expect you and your..." he did a quick count. "six female companions to share sleeping quarters with men? Hell no." Mei and Honoka, along with the other women appeared flabbergasted for a moment, before smiling brightly and prancing into the wood house on the right, the newer one. Naruto stepped into the left one, followed by Sasori, Kisame, Zabuza, and Yagura. The other males appeared torn, before Mei's voice came from the womens' building.

"Don't even try it you perverts!" the Kiri men paled and all but stampeded into the mens' building, then stopped and whistled collectively at the inside.

 **The next day- midday**

"Is that what I think it is?" Yagura asked, with an excited gleam in his eyes and a bounce in his step.

"Welcome, Mizukage-sama, to Konohagakure no Sato," Naruto answered with a flourish, gesturing to the Village. "After everyone is signed in, I will take you to the Hokage, and then escort you to your hotel."

"Thank you Uzumaki-san."

"Please, Naruto is fine."

"Only if you stop calling me by my title."

"Very well, Mei-san."

After everyone who was staying had signed in, Kisame and Sasori saluted Naruto, in their own ways, and left, once more ignoring the jumpy Chuunins at the gate. Naruto led the way through the winding streets of the Leaf Village, pointing out various points of interest.

"Over there is the Clan's district," he gestured to his left with a passing wave at a Sarutobi clan member. "Oh hey, Nakima!"

"Hey Naruto!"

"Where's your farming district?" Ao asked nonchalantly.

"Can't tell you that," the blond immediately answered. "Standard procedure is to not tell visitors where any of our key districts are in case they could be spies."

"Why you little!"

"I meant no disrespect, but would you tell me where your food was grown so I could target it if I attacked?"

"He's got a point, Ao," Yagura piped in, then siddled up close to their blond escort. "So... where's the red-light district?" Naruto cast him a gaze of mixed confusion and alarm. "What? A man can't let loose?" Naruto sighed and gestured in a southern direction.

"If you want to go, though, you'll have to have an escort so you don't wander." Yagura nodded and fell back in line. Several blocks of chit-chat and small talk later, and the group had reached the Hokage Tower. "I have to ask only Mizukage-sama and one other Shinobi come up with me, the rest will have to remain here with Zabuza and several other Jonin on standby." Mei nodded acceptance and gestured to Yagura. The trio was up to the top floor in short order, and Naruto pushed open the door to Hiruzen's office without knocking.

"Jiji, I brought the Mizukage," he announced as he barged in. Hiruzen looked up with a smile.

"Thank you, Naruto, you may go." the blond saluted and backed out. After quickly heading back downstairs, he passed the large group of Kiri Shinobi without a glance, only to be stopped by a hand touching his shoulder. He tensed, but made no action.

"May I join you?" Honoka's voice asked. Naruto looked over his shoulder at her.

"You want to find out about the clan, don't you?" his answer was a hesitant nod. He smiled a bit to calm her nerves. "Come on, I'm just about to meet Karin to see about a seal." Honoka brightened and stepped into line behind the blond, a bounce in her step. They travelled three blocks in silence before she spoke up.

"How many of us are here?"

"Two, myself and Karin. My cousin Nagato is probably on his way from Ame for the Finals, though."

"There's only four of us?"

"For now. The Uzumaki were spread far and wide, Honoka, and our clan has always been exceptional at hiding. But soon, any other survivors will know how to contact us." As Naruto finished his small speech, he stopped in front of a hotel and looked up to the third story. "KARIN!" he shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. A messy head of red hair popped out the window on the corner and looked down at the teen.

"WHAT?! I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE A BATH YOU BAKA!"

"LOOK, DO YOU WANT MY HELP OR NOT?"

"STOP SHOUTING YOU FUCKING BRAT!" a random voice screamed from down the street, causing Naruto to gesture rudely in that direction.

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY ASS TERIYAKI STALL YOU PRICK!" When no reponse was forthcoming, Naruto smirked triumphantly and turned back to the hotel. "COME DOWN HERE, AND WE'LL GO SOMEWHERE AND TALK!"

"I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!" Karin called as her head vanished into the window. Naruto leaned against the wall to wait while Honoka took in what had just happened. Several moments later, Karin strolled out the front door, looking fairly chipper. "Who's this?" she asked with her head cocked to the side as she looked at the other red-head.

"Karin, Honoka. Honoka, Karin," Naruto said simply with a small gesture to each. He remained leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and one leg hiked up to plant his foot on the wall. ( **A/N: Okay, seriously, if any of you could draw this pose with his outfit from this story, I am willing to pay for that. I'm not even joking. PM me** ) "Now, aside from Nagato, all known Uzumaki are in one place. I feel all warm and fuzzy. Let's go." he said gruffly with heavy sarcasm as he pushed off the wall and began walking, not looking to see if his cousins were following. Honoka frowned as she and Karin fell into step behind him.

"He seems a bit gruff and cold..."

"Agreed," Karin said quietly. "But I just think it's because of how he's treated in the village. I've seen him interacting with some of his friends, and he brightens considerably."

"So what's this thing he's helping you with?"

"I... uh..."

"She has a seal on her body she wants gone," Naruto said from his position several feet in front of the duo. Both appeared shocked he'd heard them. "And for the record, yes I do I act as I do because of those idiotic civilians."

"Where are we going?"

"To the forest."

"Why?"

"Because no-one will bother us out there. We're going to my most frequented training ground, if not my favorite."

"What's your favorite?" Karin asked out of sheer curiosity.

"We were in there about two weeks ago." Karin paled and stared at the blond in shock. He smirked in response. " and to answer your unasked question, yes I am crazy." with that declaration, Naruto gestured to the forest clearing the trio was currently in with a small flourish. "Welcome to Training Ground Sixty-Three, or as I call it, the Clearing of Tranquility. Most people don't even know where it is, so as far as a lot of people are concerned, we only have Sixty-two training grounds. This place is quiet and peaceful, so I enjoy coming here. Now, for the removal, we'll need some walls, so..."

"Oh boy... seems he likes to show off." Naruto shook his head at Honoka's muttering and flipped through handseals.

" _ **Mokuton: Shichuka no Jutsu!**_ " for the third time in nearly as many days, Naruto formed a house of wood and Chakra. "Hey, Honoka, practice makes better, and I seriously need to practice my _**Mokuton**_." he theen grabbed a gaping Karin and dragged her into the new building, before planting her down on her butt. "Strip." he ordered. Karin paled and Honoka looked ready to burst a blood vessel. He held up a hand, forestalling any outrage. "I can't remove the seal if I can't see or touch it. Plus, I need to be able to writing on her skin for the Fuinjutsu formula. So either strip or I'm leaving." Honoka looked quite peeved, ready to explode really, but Karin nodded slowly and began slowly removing her clothes.

"Karin keep your clothes on! He's just trying to perv out!" Naruto's face hardened at this declaration.

"I resent the accusation that I am a pervert, especially over my own cousin. This is just business to me, and the fact that Karin will be naked has no affect on my ability to remain focused. But if you want her to remain enslaved and in pain, then by all means, she can keep her clothes on." both girls paled at his words, Karin more at the implication he'd leave her to suffer and Honoka more to the 'enslaved' part. With quick, jerky movements, Karin had her clothes totally removed, and curled up a bit to try to cover herself, revealing her curse seal on her hip. "Karin, I need you to lay out flat and remain completely still while I draw the seal. That will take about five minutes, then the actual removal will take another three, and I'll be honest, it'll hurt like a bitch. But after that, you can get your clothes back on, okay?" Karin nodded fearfully and did as instructed, laying back and keeping her arms and legs straight. Naruto clucked and moved her limbs a bit, so that they were spread eagle. ( **Picture Leonardo Da Vinci's 'The Vatruvian Man'** ) then, he made four clones and sent them to the walls to begin drawing the outer parts of the massive sealing array while he pulled out his own calligraphy pen and started on Karin's body.

He talked as he worked, explaining what he was doing to Karin so she would remain calm.

"Alright, I'm done with your hip, and I need to move down your legs. I'll have to write a bit on the inside of your thighs, so don't move and don't freak out."

"O-okay," Karin stuttered, her skin beet red. He moved quickly and efficiently away from her crotch, his brushstrokes quick but masterful. Once her reached her ankle, he moved back up and repeated the process down her right leg. Then, he moved up.

"After I get your stomach, I'll have to put some of the array over your breasts, neck and arms. It will tickle, but please refrain from laughing or giggling."

"Alright," Karin answered, still beet red. A few short moments later, and Karin's skin was covered in some of the most complex designs Honoka had ever seen. Naruto quickly moved to the floor around the girl, moving quickly, but his brush never going astray. Within moments, his clones had made it to him, and they dispelled just as he finished his final brushstroke.

"Honoka, please stand in the corner and off of the array." she moved to obey. "Karin, I'm about to activate the sealing array. It will hurt more than your can imagine, but will only last for five seconds. Would you like something to bite down on?" her answer was to open her mouth expectantly. Naruto nodded and placed one of his tanto in her teeth at the hilt, and she clamped down like her life depended on it. Naruto began flipping through handsigns at a good clip, as he moved to a large empty circle in the array.

" _**Uzumaki shīru: Noroi no jokyo**_ ( **Uzumaki Seal: Curse Removal** )" he intoned as he slammed both palms into the massive, complex arrangement of seals and signs. The entire array began to glow brightly and darted inward toward Karin, or more specifically, her Curse Seal. Wave after wave of text and symbols slammed into the curse mark, which was being visibly eroded by the onslaught. Karin's jaw clenched even more and she let out a blood-curdling scream around the hilt of the short blade in her mouth. But true to the blond seal-masters words, it ended after only five seconds, and the redhead lay there panting and sweaty. Honoka rushed over to her and began covering her hastily as Naruto fell to one knee, sweating lightly and panting somewhat.

"Damn it," he managed out through his huffs. "That bastard reinforced the seal with a bit of his soul."

"Is that bad?" Honoka asked in alarm.

"Well, it made it more chakra consuming to destroy it, but otherwise, no." Karin sat up, covered in Honoka's jacket, and looked at her blond cousin tearfully.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I was afraid that I'd be under that monster's control forever." Naruto shook his head as he sat back and propped up one knee.

"So long as I live, no Uzumaki will ever be a slave. I vow upon my blood and honor as an Uzumaki."

"Oh good," came a baritone voice laced with amusement from the door. "And here I thought we'd all be wiped out or forced to breed for our enemies."

"Can it, Nagato," Naruto huffed. "You know what I meant. So what say we all get some Ramen?" three excited shouts followed this question.

 **A/N: Sorry it isn't longer. I just ain't got it right now.**


	44. Chapter 44: Total Monopoly

**Chapter 44: Total Monopoly**

"How the hell can you afford to feed four Ramen addictions that would make a Kage cry?" Honoka asked around her mouthful of noodles. Karin, Naruto, Nagato, and she were all tied at fifty bowls currently. Suffice to say Ayame and Teuchi were partying in between prepping more bowls. Naruot slurped up his last three bowls, putting him ahead for the moment, then smiled mischievously.

"In addition to my allowance from Hokage-jiji, I invested a lot of money in some... shall we say lucrative venues?"

"Say wha'?" Nagato managed around a piece of beef.

"I bought a bunch of stocks in successful companies under an alias I have, and also happen to be landlord to a good portion of this unknowing village."

"How much exactly is a good portion?" Honoka questioned as she clacked down her last empty bowl to await more.

"Hmm, let's see..." Naruto said thoughtfully, appearing to actually mull it over. "Three of thee swankier hotels in the merchant district, ten brothels in the red light, fourty-two apartment complexes throughout the village, twenty of the fifty restaurants in Konoha, fifteen convenience stores, ten markets, three family-owned stores, and the Main bank? Yep sounds about right. All told I basically own... hmmm, add twelve, carry the three, about sixty percent of the village give or take?" he finished with a shrug, causing his cousins to choke on their food, or in Honoka's case her water- which she spewed all over the counter.

"SAY WHAT?!"

"Oh yeah," Ayame laughed as she put out more ramen. "Naruto-kun is a business mogul. He could bring Konoha to it's knees just by cashing in the debt some of his tenants owe him, and almost no-one knows it."

"D-does the Hokage know this?" Nagato coughed out, finally clearing his throat as he patted Karin on the back to help her. Naruto shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"Sure he does. He goes over the expenses of the whole village, so he sees one name pop up a whole lot, and he's the one who helped me create the alias. He's a little opposed to the idea, but admits what I do with my money is my business."

"Oh, and Naruto," Teuchi put in, reaching into his back pocket. "Here's this months' rent." he held out a small stack of Ryo bills, which Naruto took and pocketed without counting, causing Nagato to raise his visible eyebrow.

"You aren't going to make sure it's all there?"

"Why would I? Teuchi and Ayame have been good to me, and I've been good to them. They've never shorted me without letting me know in advance they don't have the full amount, so I don't worry about it."

"That still seemed like a really small amount of money."

"They're payment for keeping the stand here isn't that much. Like I said, they've been good to me. Plus, they still have to worry about supplies, electricity, water, rent for their house, Ayame is trying to put money aside for something or other, and they're looking to expand within the next few years. It wouldn't be fair to them if I charged them a fuck-ton of cash simply so I could make more money."

"So in other words," Honoka said drily. "You're playing favorites."

"It's more of 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.' If everyone else in this village treated me like a normal person, they'd be getting cheaper deals too. As it is, I'm still doing everyone a favor by not raising the prices and keeping them at market value. I _could_ force my tenants to pay more, but that would cause inflation, and blah blah blah, basically, it'd be a huge pain in my ass."

"You said you own ten brothels?" Karin said with a dangerous gleam in her eye.

"Yep, that's all of them by the way. And I know what you're thinking, Karin, and it isn't like that."

"All those places gave Naruto-kun a place to stay and treated him with as much respect as they could before he was adopted," Ayame said sullenly. "Do you know how many times I went looking for him, only to find him sleeping in the corner of a brothel? Too many. So, when he could, he bought them, and let's them stay there practically rent-free. He also paid for expansions, like a bath house for each, and private rooms so the girls weren't piled on top of each other."

"Like I said, one good turn deserves another," Naruto practically whispered. "Those girls and I have more in common than anyone realizes."

"Like what?" Scoffed Karin.

"Like the fact neither of us chose to be out on the streets. But where they at least had a roof over their heads, I slept in alleys. Prostitutes and street-urchins have an unwritten code, Karin. You never judge a person for being where they are, because nine times out of ten, they didn't choose it. So, they gave me places to stay, and the odd job here and there that even a three-year-old could do, and when I got money, I helped them out in return. If we went to any of those places right now, I could tell you the life story of almost every girl there. I know better than most how much they hate having to do what they do, but they do have to do it. So, I do what I can to make it easier for them."

"I... can we change the subject?" Karin said uneasily, and Naruto nodded. "So, how's your training going for the finals?"

"Well enough."

"Can't say more?"

"Not to someone I might have to face somewhere in there. And what about your training?"

"It's going fine."

"See? You won't say any more than I will. That reminds me though, I have to find Hinata and help her with her training."

"But you just said..."

"I just said I wouldn't reveal anything to someone I may have to face, and I won't. But Hinata needs help with a new Taijutsu style and I'm the only one who can stand up tot he jyuuken or the like without getting fucked up beyond repair," Naruto said as he dug out the cash Teuchi had given him as well as his wallet, putting all the money he thought was needed on the counter, then standing and leaving. "Money's on the counter Teuchi!"

"Arigato!"

"Enjoy yourselves guys, but Teuchi! Cut them off when the cash runs out!"

"Got it!" with that, Naruto left with a wink and a wave.

 **A/N: I know, another short chapter, but the next one will be longer... I hope.**


	45. Chapter 45: Hinata's Inner Beauty

**A/N: SUP?! To whoever left that anonymous guest review: don't be jelly I got more game than you. No need to get mad that people like my stories and not yours. Slow your roll and find your niche, no need to be an asshat. Anywhosamawhatser, how you lovely people doin?**

 **Broken.9: I thank you sir, for all your praise. Unfortunately, my father cannot accept the wishes you grant him. He passed into the World-Soul several years ago, but he would appreciate the thought. Best luck in Boot Camp! HOORAH MOTHERFUCKER!**

 **Alright, I obviously need help. I have ideas for more and more stories, and I desperately want to write them, but I have too many to work on already! If one of you could tell me I'm crazy and to calm down and focus on what's already on my plate, honestly I'd probably ignore the advice, but hey that's just me being a stubborn jackass. Like, lately I've been playing ALOT of Fire Emblem: Awakening, and have ideas for three different stories with different pairings, but AAAAAAHHHHHH I NEED TO FINISH ALL MY ALREADY STARTED STORIES FIRST BUT I NEED TO VENT THE IDEAS AND I THINK I'M GOING TO EXPLODE! I have ideas for stories for Fable, Fire Emblem, Brutal Legend (BEST. GAME. EVER.), the Coldfire Book Trilogy (I haven't even finished book one yet), Digimon (specifically Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth), the list goes on! GUYS I GET INSPIRATION TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT A FUCKING CAMEL EVERY TIME I GRAB A CIGARETTE.**

 **HELP. ME.**

 **Anyway, enough of my minor mental breakdown, let's get rollin'!**

 **Chapter 45: Hinata's Inner Beauty**

In a massive plume of smoke, several of Naruto's _Kage Bunshin_ were dispelled as Hyuga Hinata bent over, pouring sweat and gasping for breath.

"Stand up stright and put your hands over your head," the Real Naruto instructed from where he lounged against a tree, drawing in a sketchbook. Hinata obeyed, and walked over to him. "You're making good progress, Hinata-chan. All of those clones were high Chuunin level individually, but mid-Jounin together. I'd say you're ready to take on Neji."

"I...hate...you..." the blunette panted as she leaned against the tree, her hands linked over her head.

"I get that a lot, but trust me, my methods do wonders for training. You'll thank me for it." the duo lounged in silence for several moments as Hinata caught her breath, then she leaned over to see what the blond was drawing, and was surprised to see it was a portrait of her from the shoulders up, but slightly distorted. It showed her with a fierce look on her face, and a manic gleam in her eyes. She was stunned by the detail in the portrait, as well as the look she had.

"What is that?"

"It's you."

"No it isn't."

"Let me rephrase; it's you as I see you," the Blond said without looking up as he continued to work. "Despite your caring and kind nature, there's a lot more to you than you even family puts you down, but you're still able to get as strong as you are. Do you know why that is?"

"I don't give up?" the lavender-eyed princess asked uncertainly.

"Exactly. In spite of everything that's been done to you, you never lost your spirit. You don't give up on things simply because others tell you it's impossible. I should know, you got it from me. This is how I see you everyday- taking on the world with determination. You're timid, sure, but I've never seen you back down from a challenge. You realize the regular Jyuuken wouldn't work for you, so you adapted it, uncaring if people would get mad about it. You knew you weren't strong enough to take on Neji- by all accounts a prodigy in your family's arts- so you busted your ass so you could. There is a beauty to you do that goes far beyond your physical appearance. Honestly, whoever you end up with will be lucky to have you at their side." Hinata blushed prettily at the praise from her friend. In truth, she still liked him as more than a friend, but had accepted that he would remain distant from her in that regard simply because of his reputation. Naruto was just kind that way.

"What about you?" she asked, trying to fight down the blush.

"What about me?"

"No-one special?" Naruto snorted in response.

"The only person I can think of that would like me in a romantic sense is you, and we both know how that would work out."

"I don't know," Hinata said with a sly grin, ignoring the fact he hit the nail on the head with her feelings. "That Haku girl seems pretty enamoured."

"Haku doesn't have any interest in me," Naruto firmly denied. "She only really cares about serving Zabuza, so she teams up with him when we spar. That's about as far as it goes."

"Doesn't look that way to me," Hinata said with a sigh, knowing how Naruto viewed himself. "I know for a fact that she's been trying to spend time with you away from Zabuza." Naruto quirked an eyebrow and looked at his companion side-long with his right eye. Hinata was always mesmerized by his purple-ringed orbs.

"How would you know that?"

"Because I ran into her yesterday trying to find you."

"I wasn't in the village yesterday."

"I'm well aware of that. But who else wasn't in the village?"

"Uhhh... Kakashi?" Hinata leveled a mild glare at the teen. "Fine, I get it, Zabuza was with me, so he wasn't around, big deal."

"Naruto, you're an idiot."

"Oi!"

"If _Haku_ was _looking for you_ and Zabuza _wasn't around_ , what could that possibly mean?"

"That she's trying to pay their rent money?"

"No you... wait, what?"

"I'm their landlord."

"Oh... I didn't know that, but it didn't look like she had any money on her."

"You'd be surprised. She can hide a lot of stuff in that damn robe of hers." Hinata grinned at him teasingly, causing him to scowl in return.

"Oh go fuck yourself, Hinata. Sakura searched her when we first met them and found a ton of shit that shouldn't have fit."

"I'll do that later thanks," She replied nonchalantly, causing the former ANBU to choke on his spit. "What? You thought just because you have no alone time that no-one else does?"

"Hinata, that is way more information than I wanted, or needed, to know about what you do in your free time." Hinata laughed at how uncomfortable and fidgety her companion had gotten.

"Awww, does wittle Naruto get uncomfortable when sex is brought up?" she teased lightly, only to see him turn bright, cherry red. "Whoa, holy shit, he actually does."

"Screw you."

"Well if you insist," Hinata smirked. Naruto groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Why does this make you so uncomfortable?" she finally asked. "I mean, yeah I'm not exactly the most open about that kind of stuff,"

"All evidence to the contrary," Naruto replied drily.

"This is different, right now, I'm just teasing you. As I was saying though, even I don't get that red when the subject comes up."

Naruto muttered something under his breath, twirling his pencil quickly between his fingers, just another display of his incredible dexterity. Hinata thought for a moment about how they'd feel inside her, before banishing the thought quickly to stay focused.

"What was that?"

"I said I never had time to adjust to other people my age in that way."

"Bullshit."

"How often was I around when you and Ino started actually flirting with people?"

"Uhhhh..."

"How many Sex-ed classes did I attend in Academy?"

"Those were all first year classes."

"Exactly."

"So you're telling me that you basically grew up in a sexual vacuum?"

"Essentially. I went into ANBU when I was eight, Hinata. I was never sent on seduction missions, because I was too young. I never learned much about it outside the basics, and I never felt comfortable asking about it."

"I... that... huh."

"So you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little stupid when it comes to the subject."

"So you're obviously still a virgin."

"No shit."

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?" once more, Naruto became fidgety, tipping Hinata off that the answer was a resounding 'no'. She grinned as an idea started to form in her mind.

"I know that look, Hinata. It's not happening."

"What ever do you mean?" she asked, cutely tilting her head to the side and feigning ignorance.

"If we ain't datin', we ain't kissin'," Naruto said as he turned back to his sketchbook and turned the page, putting pencil to paper once more.

"Oh come on!"

"No. I'm not going to kiss someone just for practice or sate their curiosity. I'd rather go in and look like an idiot."

"That is so stupid," the blunette pouted, crossing her arms under her already ample bosom. Naruto, to his credit, did not even blink or look over.

"Deal with it."

Hinata sat in silence next to her friend, now denied the chance to ah... _Educate_ him in the arts of kissing and seduction. As much as she disliked it, she knew how stubborn he was. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable though, so she began thinking of another scheme, this one involving a certain ravenette.

She only wanted her friend- and crush, but that was _technically_ a secret- to be happy.

She had her work cut out for her.

 **A/N: So, Hinata is playing the scheming matchmaker. *waggles eyebrows* Let's see how this goes, eh?**


	46. Chapter 46: Matchmaking Mess-up

**A/N: Alright, so not exactly haters, but there are a few people who are displeased with me, and I will address them. But first, I want to thank you for your respectful and polite way of telling me what you think was wrong, I do appreciate that.**

 **xNaruHina: In Regards to him being afraid of the civilans; he isn't. He's afraid of the** _ **Fallout from the civilians.**_ **I think we all realized they couldn't actually crucify him even if they tried. Now, on the subject of the Night Terror- there is no feasible way to get rid of them without turning his mind to puddle of mush. Therapy can help take away the** _ **impact**_ **of night terrors, but not get rid of them, and as for the mind Jutsu, they would literally be tampering with his whole psychology. The Night Terrors are part of him at this point, and getting rid of them could have a butterfly-effect that could make it so he turns around and slaughters literally everyone. I do apologize if they seem like a forced thing, but it's an integral part of the character by now. Think about it- remove his Night Terrors, which will be explained to be one of his main reasons to gain strength; to protect others from the same things that happened to him- and you have a Naruto who's getting stronger for the sake of getting stronger. Take away the Night Terrors- which mostly revolve around being abandoned, thus leading Naruto to cherish the bonds he has, and you have cold-blooded** _ **trained assassin**_ **with no emotional ties he really cares about.**

 **But seriously, trust me on the can't get rid of them thing. Night Terrors are persistent mind-fucks.**

 **Zmanjz: Even if you aren't reading at this point, I still have to point it out.** _ **Mikoto was technically part of the Coup de tat**_ **(sorry if I misspelled that) Naruto was also under orders, the cost of which for disobeying would be A) Treason and b) Civil fucking war. If Mikoto had lived, whatever Naruto's personal feelings on the issue, there was a possibility (however slim) that she would have hated the leaf for killing** _ **everyone else**_ **and letting her live. The less survivors, the better, because the fewer people you have to essentially** _ **mold into loyalty and trust**_ **of the village, the more you can focus on that/those survivor(s).**

 **Now on to the non-angry reviews.**

 **Zeus501: Dude, where the hell were you freaking twenty-five chapters ago? I could have used the back-up for the Shikotsumyaku- translated in English to the Dead Bone Pulse- because apparently almost no-one else likes it. Also- NUUUUUUU NOT TEH KITTEH.**

 **I really like cats, guys.**

 **98: says the psychotic, deranged scientist who wants to dissect literally everything? I'm just joshin ya, yeah He's a little fucked up, huh?**

 **Guest: O-kay... uh... are you seriously worshiping my angry spiel? Well alrighty then... Let's... let's move on guys.**

 **One final thing I want to say before we get started: I have no life. I have very few friends. And I have a lot of free time. Anyone want to play some videogames with me? I have both an Xbox One and a PS4, both with active online accounts. PM if you want my Username- which is the same for both platforms, btw- give me your gamertag/ PSN Id so I know who to look for a request from. Or if it turns out you live close by (again PM me with the closest big city to you) we can hang out irl. Shameless cry for friends aside, let's get started.**

 **Chapter 46: Matchmaking Mess up**

"It's perfect!" A certain lavender-eyed teen girl cackled as she rubbed her hands together maniacally, glancing briefly at a sheet of diagram paper before her on her desk.

"Hinata!" Hiashi's voice called up sternly. "Keep it down, I'm trying to get some work done!"

"Otou-sama!" Hanabi's voice called sharply from her room. "Keep it down, I'm trying to take a nap!"

"I still don't see how Otou-sama can be cowed by a sweet little girl like Hanabi-chan, but oh well, not my business," Hyuuga Hinata shrugged as she gathered up the necessary materials for her scheme to work. "Let's see... cat nip, check... two gallons of paint, check... a detailed slip of paper for kiba and haku to read from, check..." with that, Hinata stepped out of her room, bolted down the stairs and out the door, exiting the Hyuuga compound before anyone could blink.

One hour later finds Naruto walking out of the Sarutobi compound, stretching his arms skyward with a groan. As he let his arms fall limp, Tora bolted past him with a yowl, causing him to spin on his foot like a top. As he regained his balance, shaking his head violently, he saw her round the corner two blocks down.

"Tora-chan!" he shouted as he took off after her. "Don't go that way!" his shouts were to avail as his cat went that way- the direction of the Inuzuka compound. He sped up. He also vaguely noticed Kiba painting the outer wall, in a horrid mixture of red and purple no less, but his main focus was on getting Tora before ninken did.

"Hey Naruto!" Kiba called with a wave, accidentally knocking over the purple paint... right over the sprinting blond. In a wave of color, and a ring of his ears, Naruto found the can resting over his head and his body feeling wet and slimy.

"Kiba," his voice reverberated from the hollow can on his noggin, "you're an idiot. I'll give you until I get the paint off my head to get down and catch my cat, or I flay you alive and feed you to Akamaru."

"That won't be necessary," came a laughing voice. Naruto lifted the can to see, after wiping his eyes, Haku standing in front of him, stroking Tora calmly.

"Thanks for catching Tora-chan, Haku," he said before turning to Kiba. "But you just deprived Kiba of his chance of survival."

"Thanks a lot," Kiba yelped as he took off, hollering in fear.

Anyone looking on would have seen a beige blur followed by a purple swamp monster, one screaming in fear, the other screaming for blood.

"Well... it seems Hinata-san's plan didn't quite work," Haku thought out loud as she stroked Tora, who was nibbling on a kitty treat coated in catnip the had been in Haku's hand.

"Oh, just wait for it," came Hinata's disembodied voice with a wicked cackle. "He won't want to carry Tora while covered in paint, so he'll ask you to carry her back to his house so he can get clean."

"That voice throwing jutsu of yours is most disconcerting."

"It's not a jutsu, I'm just a great ventriloquist."

Haku stood around for another moment, until Naruto slogged back, dragging a bruised and beaten Kiba. With a flip of his hands, he set the boy on his back.

"Excuse me for a moment," he said as he moved through some hand seals. " _ **Suiton: Water Wave**_ ," Naruto bent the water around to spray him down from head to toe. Once all the paint was gone, he channeled wind chakra through his pores, drying him near instantly. "That's better, thanks for holding her for me Haku," he said as he reached out and took Tora from the stunned girl. After situating the cat, he turned on his heel and began heading back to his house, waving over his shoulder.

"Later, Haku. See ya, Kiba. Nice try, Hinata!" he called, causing the Hyuuga to facefault out of the nearby tree. "But you can't prank me that easily!"

"Is he really that much of an idiot?" Kiba asked with a groan.

"He's not very good with people," Hinata sighed, rubbing he forehead. "And somehow unintentionally derails my whole script."

"Remind me again why I can't just ask him on a date?"

"No!" Hinata screeched. "He has to ask! That's how it works!" Haku stepped away from the girl. "Ahem, sorry. You can't ask him because I'm trying to get Naruto to be more of a people person."

"He seems quite personable to me."

"No, he's just blunt and people seem to like that. He doesn't understand the nuances of interaction."

"Hinata," Kiba cut in. "You are seriously starting to sound like some old sage or some shit."

Without explanation, Hinata was suddenly wearing a brown sack-cloth robe,holding a gnarled old staff, and wearing a fake beard that ran to her waist.

"Then call me Hime-roshi!" she said as the wind blew her robe and beard majestically while she lifted her staff in one hand. It also appeared a sunrise was dawning behind her, and a large rock came out of nowhere for her to prop her leg on.

"What. The. Fuck." Kiba said as he went inside his own compound.

"Ah... Hime-roshi?" Haku said calmly, if a bit hesitant. "What now?"

"You must choose, Haku! We must be decisive in our actions!"

"O-kay..."

 **A/N: I know it's short, but I'm pretty sure ya'll enjoyed it. Also, the next chapter will be dedicated to anyone who can correctly guess what I was referencing with Hinata's transformation.**


	47. Chapter 47: Emotional Turmoil

**A/N: Alrighty-roo! A lot of love being felt here, and a lot of guesses to the reference, but of all of them, only one of you was correct. Before getting to it and declaring the winner, I want to make a few announcements. First and foremost: guys, this story has reached almost 1500 followers. That is huge to me. It shows me that people actually have faith in me, that you guys, in some way (basically non-romantic) love me. Seriously, that helps me with my self-esteem issues a lot. Second; the favorites aren't far behind with about 14 shy of 1000.**

 **Final announcement before declaring the winner. I'm going to strive to do this kind of competition more often. It might reference an anime, movie, tv show,or book that I enjoy. I'll always tell you at that point about it being a reference, so no worries, and same as these two chapters, I'll dedicate the next chapter to whomever manages to correctly guess what it is first.**

 **On that note... cireshadow! This chapter is yours! Bask in it! Hime-roshi was a reference to a recurring joke in an anime I've watched called 'My Bride is a Mermaid', where one of the support characters basically pulls the same stunt. If you haven't already, I highly suggest you watch the series. It's great.**

 **ON TO THE STORY! (this chapter is First-person)**

 **Chapter 47: Emotional Turmoil**

It started as normal a day as always; wake up, eat breakfast made by oba-chan, then head to training. It had been going well for me... up until I got to my usual training ground. There I found an... unexpected sight waiting for me.

Kirabi.

"Yo, little man. You fit into my master plan. We gotta get tight, so we're gonna fight. Fool, ya fool."

Odd. He seemed to rap everything he said. Nice of Kurama to mention _that_ little detail. I figured he'd expect similar from me.

"You caught me off my guard, and that's really hard. What's your whole deal, and why should I think it's real? We ain't friends, it's true, but I don't think I could call you my enemy too." I saw a ghost of a smirk appear on his face, framed by his goatee. "So if we gotta fight, I'll match ya blow for blow, who knows, I might even win, 'ttebayo."

"I like you kid, you got some sick rhymes. I might try to hang out with you some time." with that, he held out his fist to me, holding it there. I looked at it in confusion.

 _ **Kit, it's called a fist-bump.**_

 _Am I supposed to tap my knuckles to his or something?_

 _ **Yes.**_

 _What really?_

 _ **Yes, really.**_ I shrugged and tapped my fist to his own, similar to how I'd done with Yagura. Except... ya know... with a fist, instead of just the back of my hand. Within seconds of me doing that, Kirabi smiled broadly and instantly swiped at me with one of his swords, almost nicking me. Kami, I was glad I'd been training to materialize Chakra Weapons faster.

My crimson Katana stopped his blade mere inches from my face. I kept my face schooled to a look of boredom.

"You're quick on the draw," Kirabi commented.

"Almost as fast as my pa," I commented. His shades glinted weirdly and he smirked. He drew another blade and jumped back, taking a stance of two blades as I drew one of my two physical Katana.

"Then it's as I suspected, this secret's been protected."

"What are you going to do with this intel? Tell your Kage?"

"Nah, my bro would just rage, me and him ain't on the same page, I respected your old man, but my bro wasn't his biggest fan. Just 'cause we fought, but that was war, he was stronger than we thought, but we ain't enemies no more."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm sure A would disagree, I'm pretty sure him and Onoki hate me."

"If they knew the truth, that would be true, but as it is, they got no beef with you." Our words were exchanged as we crossed blades, not really fighting, just limbering up.

"I know there's a plan, an invasion is due, be straight with me man, what side are you?" Kirabi grimaced and began swinging harder and faster, trying to get past my guard.

"I really don't know," he said as he began fighting in earnest. "I'm a little torn. Loyal to family, or the ideas I hold dear?" I was a little shocked he didn't rap that bit, but I didn't let it slow me down.

Swing after swing I deflected, until I grew fed up and jumped back, sheathing my corporeal Katana and dispelling the other.

"Loyalty should always be to an ideal before a person, otherwise war will ensue. Land, money, power, what we have on this world is irrelevant. It's what we leave behind that matters, and personally, I choose to leave behind my ideals. If even one person follows my beliefs when I die, that's good enough for me."

"And what is it you believe? What do you strive to achieve?"

"Peace," I said as I threw my arms out and looked to the trees. "Peace for all, that the next generation need not worry about a war at their front gate. Peace, that none fear their loved ones will not return." I dropped my arms to my sides and looked at the ground.

"It's strange that you claim to want peace, yet train for war. You're words aren't nearly enough, I'll need a bit more."

"I'm a product of my environment," I answered with a shrug. "So long as war is a reality, People like us will always be a necessity. I just want it to end so my cousin can live. I want this reality to end, so my aunt can relax. I fight to protect, to ensure safety. If some view that as wrong, then that's their opinion."

"You're old man had much the same view. He sought to protect so little few."

"My biological father was a great man, and to this day, I see him as my hero. But even greater to me is my Tou-chan, the man who adopted me. I have no doubt my father would be here for me had circumstances allowed, but he isn't. There's no point in living in the past, the way I see it."

"Well said, and too true, but enough chit-chat, I ain't through with you." Kirabi then jumped, unsheathing all eight of his swords, and held them in several different parts on his body. It looked odd, but I had no doubt he was proficient at the style. With a sigh I took my kenjutsu stance, the Uzuryuu, and formed two Katana. "Why not use your ones already there? It seems easier, if even just a hair."

"I need the practice." Kirabi nodded and began spinning and jumping every which way, slashing with his blades. I was immediately on the defensive, but not for the reason Kirabi would think. His style was similar to the UzuRyuu. Too similar. I growled and took a quickstep forward, then began my attack, rotating ferociously. That was, after all, the whole point of the Uzumaki Kenjutsu- to become the whirlpool.

"Man it's been so long, still just as fierce, if I ain't careful, I'm sure to get pierced."

"So, you fought Kushina in the war, did you?" I spat. "How else would you know enough about the UzuRyuu to make a rip-off?"

"Yes it's true, I ain't denying that, I needed new style, Kumo's was old hat. I could never learn the true whirl blade, but I could make a style that was almost the same."

I stopped suddenly and dispelled my blades. "This fight is over, I'll see you next week, but whoever you side against, their future looks bleak."

"I could say the same for you, you're quite strong, when we first started, I thought you were your mom."

I froze and went rigid. He couldn't mean what I thought he did.

"Your mother held my respect even more than your old man. She was the only person I was truly afraid of, and it had nothing to do with her burden. It was nice to meet you, Uzumaki Naruto." I snapped back around to see... nothing. Kirabi had vanished, but he got his point across. He knew my parents, and he knew who I was. In the shinobi world, knowledge is power, and he held it all, but he merely sparred with me and talked. He didn't appear to be planning to use the knowledge, but then, the best never do.

With a roar of frustration, I lashed out, subconsciously forming chains that sprouted from every limb, in multiple places, including several spots down my spine, and from the seal on my stomach. I screamed again, and the chains whipped everywhere in a frenzy, slashing down trees that had stood tall since the Leaf was built. I fell to my knees and punched the ground as hard as I could, probably breaking a few bones, but I didn't notice. I didn't notice as my chakra receded back inside my body. I didn't notice as a gentle hand came to rest on my shoulder. I only noticed when my head was guided to the crook of a shoulder, and the other hand of whoever it was began stroking my hair, quite shushing sounds reverberating through the body that held me.

"It's all right, Naruto-kun," the person crooned. The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it at the time. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's too much," I gasped as my eyes began to water. "I can't keep doing this. I can't. I don't have the strength."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't keep being the stoic pillar everyone expects me to be. I can't guide anyone. I'm not strong enough to protect myself... how can I protect anyone else?" the person remained silent for several moments, just stroking my hair, trying to calm me.

"If you aren't strong enough to protect yourself, I'll have to." I pulled back, tears streaming down my cheeks, to see Haku smiling gently at me. "If you're so focused on protecting others, then I'll have to be the one to protect you, won't I?"

"But..."

"Your problem is that you think you have to protect _everyone_. Sometimes, you just have to let someone protect you. That's how being a Shinobi works," Haku said as she rested her hand on my cheek, rubbing her thumb under my eye.

"I'm not worth protecting..." I argued weakly.

"Yes you are," she replied sternly. "You are kind, and funny, and you have one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen."

"But I'm a monster..."

"No you aren't. You aren't the Kyuubi,"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT KURAMA!" I snapped. "I've done more vicious and despicable things than anyone could imagine. I've done so much evil, and I can't undo it!"

"Like you said, you're a product of your environment." I blinked at her.

"You heard me say that?"

"I've been watching you since I got to the village," she admitted with a blush. "I admire you." I scoffed self-deprecatingly.

"For what?"

"Like I said, kind, funny, but you're also strong, and smart, and you are admittedly very handsome. But most of all, it's your determination I admire." I sat there, staring at her blankly, my mouth slightly open. She started fidgeting after a few moments, then she scooted back, putting some distance between us now that I wasn't having a breakdown. She appeared uncomfortable. I don't know what came over me, I swear to Log, I didn't, but I couldn't stop myself. I surged forward and gently grabbed Haku's face, pulling it to me.

Then our lips met.


	48. Chapter 48: First Round, knock one down

**A/N: Honestly, guys, I was planning on drawing out the annoyingness of awkward Naruto a lot longer. Like, chapter 124 long, but whatever. Okay, so this is a time skip to the day of the final exam. But first...**

 **Veraq: And that, detective, is the right question. In two reviews, you have slammed right to the heart of why I actually started writing this story, and continue in the same vein. I'm not doing it to form a good narrative, that's a by-product. I originally started this entire thing to shed light on the story-telling tropes on the site. I made Naruto almost god-like in his power to show the absurdity of it all. You're right, Katana are not suitable weapons for Shinobi, but is a huge fucking cleaver any better? Yes, the Rinnegan does have those abilities, but does it ensure victory? As for the clan, who wouldn't hold a grandiose ideal of their own legacy? And who would really disagree with a guy who could kill them by blinking? Nagato's quick change was intentionally absurd. But keep in mind, Naruto basicaally took his own philosphies, and threw them in his face. He took pre-Yahiko-death Nagato, and brought him to the surface.**

 **I genuinely love and appreciate every single one of you. But none of you have been looking at my story from the right angle. You all either love it unequivocally, or outright rage against me for my choices. But Veraq? I applaud you, sir/ madam. You hold an objective view of my story. You admit to enjoying it, but at the same time, you question what I do, not maliciously, but in the sense that it doesn't quite add up.**

 **Follow Veraq's example, everyone. As my mother would put it "Believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see."**

 **The Shunner: no, I don't take shit from anyone. I have enough issues to deal with without letting other take a dump on what I like. And also, thank you for the compliment, it gave me the fuzzies.**

 **Also, I started a new job recently, and if any of you want to meet me, go to the bookstore in Deerbrooke Mall in Texas, and ask for the scotsman. You'll get pointed right to me.**

 **Chapter 48: First Round, knock one down**

"Twenty-six kunai with blood on the wall, take one down, throw it around, twenty-five kunai with blood on the wall," Naruto droned as he lay in the dirt at the center of the Arena. He was waiting for the stands to fill and the five Kage to arrive so the finals would begin. And he was the only one not standing at rigid attention of all the competitiors.

"You know, some might find it disrespectful that a Genin isn't waiting for the Five Kage at attention," Hayate coughed.

"[Better to ask forgiveness than permission.] They want my respect, they gotta earn it. Jiji was here before me, at least."

"Weren't you here at like four-thirty?" Shikamaru managed to say around his massive yawn.

"Yep."

"You were here, an hour early, just to sit around?"

"Yep."

"You are not human."

"I know."

"Looks like the other Kage are here," Hayate cut into the conversation.

"Whatever," Naruto yawned, rising to his feet and stretching magnificently, causing several loud _pops_ to reverberate through the arena. After he straightened his spine out, Naruto snapped his neck sharply to the side in either direction, drawing even more attention to himself. "Let's get this over with."

"How do you do that?" Karin shuddered.

"Do what?"

"Pop your neck like that without killing yourself."

"That's nothing, you should see me popping my ribs."

"Wut."

"I can pop every joint in my body, including my ribs and fingers on command." ( **A/N: I can actually do this. It freaks people out. Lol** )

"That's not natural," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"Your hair looks like the ass end of a duck, and you say I'm unnatural?"

"Shut up."

"CITIZENS OF THE NATIONS!" Hiruzen's voice rang out from the Kage booth, where the other four of the Gokage sat in chairs decorated to symbolize their respective Villages. "WELCOME TO KONOHAGAKURE, AND THE CHUUNIN EXAM FINALS!" Hiruzen paused with an indulgent smile as the crowd roared in approval.

Naruto, meanwhile, stiffened almost imperceptibly, which drew the attention of Hayate, and his assistant proctor- Shiranui Genma. With his hands at his sides, he shifted his right through a quick sequence of ANBU hand signals, sensing Neko-chan hidden nearby, and knowing she'd have noticed his stiffening.

 _Clone._

 _Popped._

 _20 kliks._

 _Prepare._

"IN JUST A MOMENT, THE FIRST ROUND WILL BEGIN!" more cheering. "BUT FIRST! OUR PROCTOR HAYTE WILL EXPLAIN THE RULES!"

"This is a tournament-style series of one-on-one matches. The fight will end when one of three criteria are met." Hayate's voice boomed over the speaker system. "One: one or both fighters are knocked out or otherwise unable to continue the fight. Two: when one of the combatants forfeits. Or three: when I declare the match over. Other than that, all range of attack is allowed, although killing is strongly disagreed with, it is permitted. Do all contestants understand the rules as laid out?" a chorus of 'hai!'s rang out as Naruto yawned once more, causing Hayate to glare at him.

"What?"

"Do all..."

"I heard you the first time, Gekko."

"Then acknowledge the question."

"It'd be kinda hard not to understand the rules." Naruto's nonchalant attitude made several of the Konoha parts of the crowd boo loudly, eliciting a response of both middle fingers from the blond. "Fuck you all too!" he said with a smile.

 **In the Kage boothe**

"Who is that boy?" Onoki asked with a frown as he beheld the disrespectful blond.

"Naruto," Hiruzen sighed as he rested his cheek of his fist. "He's a bit of a troublemaker, and has little respect for rules and regulations, or positions of power."

"I like him already," A guffawed. "What about you B?"

"He looks pretty tight, his should be a good fight."

"That little scamp?" Onoki scoffed in disbelief. "I know his type; his bark is worse than his bite. He carries himself like a civilian, and he doesn't respect his foes. Kurotsuchi will wipe the floor with the boy."

Hiruzen at this point had to hide his smirk behind a fake cough, although he was sure the Mizukage smiled faintly at him.

"I don't know," she spoke for the first time that day, her voice immediately capturing everyone's attention. "I met him when I first got here, and he seems to have some level of gravitas to him. A certain charisma."

"Charisma doesn't win fights," Rasa, the Kazekage said without emotion, his face set neutrally. The other Kage had been quite surprised when he'd shown up without his veil for once, but he waved them off. "That being said, I have heard quite a bit about him from Gaara through the years."

"Either way," Mei said pleasantly as she sat back in her seat, crossing her legs elegantly. "I look forward to his match."

"As do I, Mizukage-dono," Hiruzen said with a sigh. "As do I."

 **Back in the arena**

"Alright, that's enough, Naruto," Hayate said sternly, to which Naruto grumped, but complied. "The first match will be Fuu of Taki against Chojuro of Ame. Will all other contestants please move to the competitors balcony?" Thirteen people began to trudge to the stairs, but one moved directly to the wall below the combatants' box. He got several sideways looks, which he returned.

"What are you doing?" Neji sneered. "The stairs are over here."

"We're Shinobi aren't we?" Naruto answered with a shrug, before he turned and walked up the wall, then hopped over the railing and leaned his back against it, resting his elbows on either side of his torso.

"What an idiot," Dosu scoffed. "Wasting Chakra for something as trivial as getting up a few stories."

"Don't worry," Sasuke muttered under his breath. "He's got plenty to spare."

"What was that Uchiha?"

"Nothing that concerns you." this dismissal earned a growl from the bandaged otonin, but no other response.

 **In the stands**

"What is that baka doing? Honoka nearly shouted, causing Nagato to snicker. "CONSERVE YOUR CHAKRA YOU IDIOT!"

"Honoka, sit down. Naruto will do as Naruto wants. There's no putting a leash on him, even if we wanted to."

"But to so flagrantly use chakra for something so trivial!"

"Oh, don't worry about Naru's chakra usage," Asuma chuckled as he lit a cigarette. " he certainly won't."

 **Competitors' Box**

"You really do enjoy showing off, don't you?" Shikamaru groused as he scratched his head. Naruto shrugged in response. "Could you at least _act_ like you give a damn?"

"Hmm..." Naruto hummed, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Nope!" Shikmaru sighed as the blond turned to face the arena, his eyes suddenly drilling holes into the two combatants. "Although," he said quietly. "It'll be interesting to see how other jinchuuriki use the powers of their biiju."

"What was that?" Lee asked as he bounded over. The blond waved slightly.

"Nothing, Lee, just some idle rambling. So, how'd your month of training go?" he queried without taking his eyes from the two teens in the ring. He knew Lee would respond with fire in his eyes and his fist raised in determination though.

"I HAVE TRAINED MY FLAMES OF YOUTH DILIGENTLY! I HAVE WORKED MYSELF HARD ENOUGH THAT GAI-SENSEI HAS CRIED YOUTHFUL TEARS!"

"Lee, inside voice," Naruto said calmly, rubbing at his right ear. "It's too early for your youth, and I'm not a morning person to begin with."

"My apologies, Naruto-kun," the bowl-cut boy answered with a deep waist-bow. "and how was your month if I may ask?"

"Same old, same old."

"He's very tight-lipped, isn't he?" Temari asked as her eyebrow cocked and her arms crossed.

"Naruto has always been fairly guarded," Gaara deadpanned, his arms crossed and a foot on the wall he was leaning against. "It took several interactions to learn anything about him, and even then, I only learned what he wanted me to."

"I'm surprised you didn't squish him," Temair said dismissively. She went to a quick attention when Gaara released a small smile.

"My sand wasn't fast enough," he commented lightly, finally opening his sea-foam green eyes to look at her sideways to see her reaction. Temari went pale and began shaking slightly, looking at the blond who seemed to have people gravitate to him.

"You're joking."

"No, actually. I tried several times to make the sand run red with his blood, but failed each, turning to see him sitting behind me with a small smirk on his lips. It infuriated me to no end, especially when he wouldn't stop bugging me." Temari's jaw dropped.

"Eventually..."

"Eventually I gave him a nice clean clock in the head," Naruto laughed as he strolled up with a grin, his hands behind his head, fingers interlaced.

"But..."

"Like I told you when we met; if there's no malice behind the touch, his sand doesn't react. I didn't hit him as an enemy."

"He hit me as a friend, although I'm still not happy about it, Naruto."

"Too bad, Gaara," the Uzumaki snarked, sticking his tongue out childishly. "Anyway, how are you feeling?"

"Why would I be feeling anything?"

"Gaara, you're only a few hours away from showing about fifteen hundred people how good you are as a shinobi, including your father, and you're not the slightest bit nervous?"

"Should I be?"

"Only if your not confident in your abilities," Naruto grinned, winking and nudging the red-head in the ribs with his elbow.

"Then I see no reason to worry." silence reigned for a few moments, before Gaara spoke again. "What's it feel like?" he looked to both blondes in front of him for an answer. "Being nervous, I mean."

Naruto stared at him for a moment, then to his older sister, who looked utterly confused.

"Right, you don't have much experience with this stuff... hmmmm..." Naruto sat cross legged, on elbow resting on his knee, chin propped on the attached hand. "Ever had butterflies land on your arm?"

"What's a butterfly?" this time the question came from Temari. Naruto sighed.

"I really need to remember your guys come from the desert and have never left it."

"You should really focus on the fight," Shikamaru cut in.

"Fuu will begin circling Chojuro overhead any second now, and he'll retaliate with a long-range chakra pulse," Naruto said absently. Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow, and turned to watch the fight, astonished to see that exact scenario play out before his eyes.

"How..."

"I didn't spend my month training, Shika. I spent it analysing the competitors. I basically know the whole shebang before it happens."

"Bullshit." Naruto leaned back and looked at his friend upside down, a creepy smile on his face.

"Twenty ryo and a month of meals says I'm right."

"Shika, don't!" Sasuke started.

"Deal," Shikamaru grunted. Sasuke face-palmed.

"Idiot."

"Sasuke, write these down," Naruto said gleefully as Sasuke sighed, but whipped out a notepad and pen. "Chojuro will win after about thirty minutes from the start of the fight by knockout, Sasuke and Samui will tie in a double knock-out," here, Sasuke let out an indignant cry. "Oh, can it, Neji will get his ass _handed_ to him inside of twenty minutes," he felt the afore-mentioned Hyuuga glaring at him. "Kurotsuchi is going down after about thirty,"

"Oi!"

"No, that one I believe," Omoi said dully, earning him a fist to the head.

"Lee will just barely eek out a win, Temari will beat Shika by forfeit, Dosu will somehow survive Gaara's attacks- don't get cocky mummy; you ain't winnin', and Omoi will beat Karin after about fifteen minutes and a lot of swearing."

"That's just the first rounds," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Buddy, you're gonna have to bet a lot more to get the later brackets."

 **Stands**

Unbeknownst to everyone except Naruto in the Competitiors box, the competitior's box was microphoned to show the current state of all contestants.

"Excuse me," Asuma said suddenly as he stood up, a serious look on his face.

"Where are you going?" Nagato asked with surprise.

"I need to go place a few bets."

"Are you really putting that much faith in the baka who wasted chakra to get up a few floors?" Honoka huffed, her arms crossed.

"Asuma!" Kakashi called from a few rows up, drawing the Sarutobi's gaze in time for the walking chimney to catch a roll of cash tossed by the cyclops. "Put me down for double-and-a-half, as well as a favor with Sinch." Asuma nodded solemnly.

"What is wrong with these people?"

"We won't know until we're told, I'm afraid," Nagato sighed as he discreetly slipped a small roll of money to Asuma, who grinned and nodded.

 **Kage booth**

"And make sure you specify to the book-keepers," Hiiruzen whispered to the chuunin he'd summoned. "Those exact circumstances."

"Sir," Aoba said quietly, with a look of worry. "The odds of those exact sequences are astronomical."

"Do this, and I'll give you a quarter of it when I win."

"You sound very confident, sir."

"Trust me, Aoba-kun, this is a good bet, and only a few people will go with it, so it will pay off." Aoba sighed but nodded and vanished.

"You wouldn't happen to be placing a bet on those boys false predictions, would you Hokage-dono?" Onoki asked with narrowed eyes.

"No, of course not," Hiruzen waved breezily, although internally we was already swimming Scrooge McDuck style in a giant pile of cash. "I was just telling Aoba-kun to make sure that Asuma wasn't doing something stupid. Family troubles should generally be kept private, ne?"

"I apologize for questioning then," Onoki said, his eyes still narrowed suspiciously.

 **Ring**

"YOU JERK!" Fuu called petulantly, stamping her foot, glaring up at the box with the blond who'd so rudely disparaged her fantastic abilities.

"DON'T BLAME ME, SWEETHEART, THEM'S THE BREAKS!" she was about ready to fly up there and wipe that smug grin off his stupid tan face, when she noticed him looking at a watch on his wrist.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M" her shouting was cut off as her world went black with a great amount of pain.

"WINNER! CHOJURO OF KIRIGAKURE!"

"NICE TIMING, BLUE!" Naruto shouted with a thumbs up, causing the teen in question to blush. After some medics came out to pick up the greenette and cart her off, he made his way to the stairs to start the ascent to the box.

"Will Sasuke of Konoha and Samui of Kumo please come to the arena?" Hayate called. He waited a few moments for them to appear before him, and made sure they were ready. "HAJIME!"

Sasuke started by barreling forward and hurling brace after brace of lighting-coated shuriken. He would _not_ let Naruto be right on this. When Samui deflected all his shuriken with her quickly-drawn tanto, he growled in annoyance, then began flashing through hand seals, his eyes narrowing in annoyance and flashing red momentarily. He never noticed Naruto's smirk.

 **Box**

"Sometimes I hate you," Shika sighed as the first prediction had come true.

"I know," the cheerful blond answered with a chirp, his eyes on the fight.

"If you supposedly know everything," Neji snapped, his glare trying to burn holes through the boy. "Why are you watching the fight?"

"Because I like to see people suffer," Naruto answered in a deadpan so cold, everyone in the room shivered. "I like to see the energy leave their eyes when they realize how inevitable it all is."

"That's..."

"A joke," Naruto grinned without looking away from the fight. "Nah, I just forgot what I was doing before Shika made a stupid bet."

"Not likely," the pineapple-haired teen muttered, drawing another smirk from his blond friend.

"You were about to describe a butterfly," Temari said evenly.

"Right! Where's that notepad Sasuke had?" Naruto asked as he looked around. When he couldn't see it, he shrugged and pulled out a storage scroll, unsealing his sketchbook and a stick of graphite.

"You draw?" Omoi asked curiously.

"Occasionally," the boy answered shortly, quickly flipping towards the back of the large sketch book, finally reaching the first blank page. He looked around. "Anyone want to see a particular kind of butterfly?"

"We're not all going to look at your stupid doodle," Kurotsuchi snarled.

"Then why should it matter anyway? There's enough room to draw multiples."

"Fine, since you're apparently _so eager_ , how about a rock-wing fluteneck?" the pink-haired girl said snidely. She didn't expect the blond to immediately bend over his book and put the grey rod to the paper. After about a minute he stopped suddenly, looking at her expectantly.

"Male or female?"

"What?"

"A male one or a female one?"

"What's the damn difference?"

"A male was a wider wingspan and shorter neck, as well as fuzzy antennae." Kurotsuchi's jaw dropped at the boys knowledge of an _Iwa-native bug_.

"Female, I guess?" Naruto nodded, and returned to his sketch. After another few seconds, he looked around again.

"Anyone else?"

"How about a fireflutter?" Hinata spoke for the first time that day, drawing a genuine smile from the teen who somehow had everyone's attention without trying.

"An excellent choice, Hinata," he complimented as he bent back over the page, his hands moving quickly.

 **Arena**

Sasuke was not having a good time. His head-on assault had turned sour and devolved into him and the blond girl with the uh... _generous_ chest having a ninjutsu version of a duke-out. Sweat dripped down his face as he panted in exhaustion, his actions mirrored by the blonde across from him.

 _Damn it_ , he thought tiredly. _I only have one more good jutsu in me, and I don't know if I'll be standing afterwords._ With a tired sigh, he rose and began the hand sequence, only to glare as the kunoichi across from him stared the the _exact same fucking sequence_.

" _ **Raiton: Jibashi!**_ " the shouted simultaneously, only to both sprint forward in a dodge that flowed into a punch that connected with each others' jaws. And just like that, they were down.

"DOUBLE KNOCKOUT!" Hayate announced, to stunned silence from the crowd.

 **Box**

Shikamaru groaned at the announcement, pulling his attention away from the blond who had put away the graphite and somehow procured colored pencils to fill in the wings of his creations.

"Have fun, Hinata," Naruto called without looking up. "Make sure to plant a foot up his ass for me."

"Who knows, I might even dislodge the stick," Hinata quipped with a grin to her friend, drawing gapes from everyone who knew her.

"Atta girl." with those words, Hinata made her way to the arena and stood across from her cousin.

The most intense fight so far was about to begin.

 **A/N: From now on my references will be in [] brackets. So look for those, also, this chapter does have one.**


	49. Chapter 49: Hyuuga Showdown

**A/N: Yo! Sorry it took so long. Been dealing with some schtuffs, but I'm back, baby! Right. Reviews. So general one to start: I don't claim to be an expert on anything. My interests are many and varied, and that means I can really only devote enough time to them to get a surface understanding. Therefore, I do sincerely appreciate when people correct me on things, as long as it's done politely, when I make a mischief. For instance, I was corrected on when I said Poker and Blackjack are the same. I never addressed it, but I do thank you. Like I said, I really only have a surface understanding. I try my best with what I do know and hope to Gaia I don't sound like a fucking moron.**

 **and the first person to successfully guess the quote is! Kurama's Final Nightmare! Congratulations! Other than that, only a few responses I want to do.**

 **HeroCrafter: I appreciate the attempt, but never mention that piece of rejected kindling ever again. That is not** _ **Eragon.**_ **If you want** _ **Eragon**_ **you can buy it for 12 dollars at your nearest Barnes & Noble. It's great, lots of big words and a pretty picture of a blue dragon on the front. That 'movie' (term used loosely) is ****not** _ **Eragon.**_ **All they did was take the names from the book and super-impose them on a really shitty 'film'. And this is coming from a guy who actually enjoys a lot of book-to-movie or videogame-to-movie adaptations. That, though? That is an abomination.**

 **Polaruspax: Take it up with the fans,not me. Poll determined that shit.**

 **Sanabalis: I do apologize for some of the disjointed-ness. I try my best, I promise.**

 **Ideadlyx: ah, yes, well that comes from something that happened when I was a wee lad. See, when I was still about six months to a year, I somehow (me mam won't tell me how) cracked basically every rib at the spine. Somehow, instead of healing normally, cartilage set in (doctors are like** _ **wtf?!**_ **) so, technically, all my ribs are jointed, hence, I can pop my ribcage. Nice little anecdotal factoid about me for ya.**

 **New Guest Kouhai: Senpai must have his secrets.**

 **That's... about it, really. Once again, a lot of support and love from ya'll. And now I'm thinking about how my friends laugh whenever I use Texas slang, because it comes out hilariously with my Scots-Irish accent. (Grandma Scottish, Grandpa Irish). Anywho, thanks for all the feedback, love you guys!**

 **Chapter 49: Hyuuga Showdown**

The stadium was eerily silent as the two Hyuuga strode into the arena. When finally they stood across from each other, both in a relaxed, non-combat stance, Hayate raised his hand, coughed into his other fist, and sliced his hand down with a cry of 'Hajime!'. Neither teen moved for several drawn-out moments. Finally, Neji shifted into his jyuuken stance with a smirk.

"I would give up now if I were you, Hinata- _sama_ ," he spat venemously.

"Then I'm glad you aren't me, because I have no intention of giving up. I trained too hard for too long to not at least show what I can do," Hinata replied calmly, settling into stance, mirroring Neji. He frowned.

"It is futile. You are fated to lose. As you are always fated to lose."

Hinata stared at him a few more moments, then straightened, and began laughing. She heard several discontented murmurs from where a group of Hyuuga spectators were sitting.

"In that case, indulge this losers' challenge if you would."

"Why should I give you anything?" Neji snarled. Hinata merely grinned.

"What difference does it make? I ask no more of you than I would any other opponent of the same set." Neji scowled mightily, finally lifting from his combat stance.

"And what do you want, exactly?"

"Fight me with all you have. Attempt to kill me if you so desire. Just let it all go here, today." a loud gasp echoed throughout the stadium as her words rang forth, clearly.

 **Kage Booth**

"The girl is suicidal!" Onoki cried as he sat forward. "I've read both their files, she doesn't stand a chance!"

"Ah," Hiruzen sighed, taking a pull from his pipe. "But I hear from my grandson she has been training with Naruto-kun for quite some time."

"What's so special about training with that brat?" A asked, cocking his eyebrow as he lounged to one side in his own chair.

"From what Gaara has told me of the boy, it seems his training regimen is something to be utterly feared."

"Very true, Kazekage-dono. My understanding is that Naruto-kun severely limits himself while training inside the Village walls, and even then, he's made Mito Gai envious once or twice."

"You can't be serious," Mei gasped. "From what I hear, Mito Gai is your foremost Taijutsu expert."

"That he is, Mizukage-dono. That he is."

 **Contestant's booth**

"Why is everyone suddenly short of air?" Gaara asked no-one in particular.

"They're gasping in shock, Gaara."

"Why?"

"Because Hinata-chan basically said 'fuck the rules, try to kill me.'"

"Why is that an issue? She seems able to defend herself."

"Thank you!" Naruto cried as he stretched his arms toward the red-head. "Seriously guys, he doesn't even _know her_ and he can see she's gonna kick ass."

 **Hyuuga Spectators**

"The girl has learned nothing," scowled one elder of the clan, a wizened old man with his forehead covered. "She speaks folly to the clan genius."

"My oneechan is stronger than you think," Hanabi muttered under her breath.

"What was that, Hanabi?" Hiashi asked calmly.

"Nothing, father."

"Then let us watch this match unfold."

"Hai."

"Hiashi-sama, she has gone too far!"

"Shut up, sit down, and compose yourself. We are in public, Elder Kizu. And as for Hinata's actions, there is nothing we can do but watch."

 **Back in the stadium**

"You... want me... to... kill you?"

"Actually, what I believe what I said was 'attempt to kill me if you wish.' that is different from asking you to kill me."

Neji looked dumbstruck for several moments, before a savage grin started to settle on his face. He moved back to his ready stance, his feral visage a sight of terror for most.

But not for who it was intended for. Without another word, Neji lunged forward, immediately starting into a flurry of palm strikes and finger jabs, expecting the heiress to fall before the onslaught.

So imagine his surprise when she was nowhere to be found.

 **Competitor's balcony**

"What happened?" Shikamaru asked, his eyes glued to the battle.

"What do you mean, 'what happened?' Neji overshot her," Temari scoffed, pulling a guffaw from the other blond present.

"Not exactly," Naruto chuckled. He got quizzical glances all around. He just waved at the arena. "Just watch."

 **The fight**

Neji spun to locate his target, only to find her casually standing behind him, her back to him as though she had not a care in the world. With a snarl, he lunged again, aiming to plant a chakra-laced palm square into her spine, but instead of the satisfying _thud_ he expected, his hand met only air. A few seconds later, he felt weight on his shoulders and looked up with astonishment.

Hyuuga Hinata was lounging upon his shoulders as casually as though she were on her bed, one foot pulled up to rest on his back, the other dangling freely around his waistline. She had her chin rested on her hand, which in turn rested on her elbow, and she smiled down at him serenely.

"Lovely weather, isn't it?"

Neji snarled and tried throwing her off violently, only for her to gracefully dismount and whirl to face him, her hands clasped behind her back, and her legs crossed demurely.

"Did I say something wrong?" Neji whipped to face the insolent girl with a feral snarl.

"That you speak at all is more than you deserve!" Hinata quirked an eyebrow cutely at his reaction.

"Does the fight displease you, Neji-niisan?"

"This is no fight!"

Hinata sighed tiredly, then took her ready stance, the one she had been training with Naruto.

"Very well. Come, face me." Neji regarded her warily, her stance unfamiliar, unsettling. He couldn't place why for several moments, then it hit him like a brick wall.

"You modified the jyuuken!"

"Modified is such crude wording. I prefer 'refined', if I'm honest."

"You no good, main branch, hussy! You defile our sacred forms!"

"Ooh, such foul language. Never would have thought you capable of cursing, Neji-niisan."

With a roar, Neji lunged at the lavender-haired wretch who dared to alter the greatest taijutsu form in history. Only to watch, as though in slow motion, as she ducked under his palm-thrust. Her hands shot up and flowed around his guard, hitting his shoulders, before he felt a flowing sensation spread from the places she'd touched. He couldn't tell if it was hot or cold. All he knew was it hurt.

 _No choice!_ he thought, before throwing himself in a circle, expelling chakra from his whole body.

" ** _Hakkesh_ _ō_ _Kaiten!_** "

Hinata was thrown back with a cry of shock, slight chakra damage appearing on her arms, revealed as they were without her usual jacket. She'd been feeling men leering at her all day, her tight, form-fitting shirt not leaving much to the imagination.

 _Damn Naruto-kun for making me wear this... although it is incredibly comfortable and breathable..._

 ****The bluenette picked herself up off the ground and looked at her cousin, who was slowing to a halt.

"So, you really are a genius. Reverse-engineering a main branch move like that."

"For all you know, I could have been taught," Neji sneered.

"Unlikely. Not many in our clan would go against tradition like that, but that just makes you and I unique."

"I am _nothing_ like you!"

"Oh? I guess I'll have to prove you wrong then." with that, Hinata took a new stance, her right foot directly behind her left, her back straight, and her arms curled at ninety-degree angles, her fists fingers up.

"Wha..." Neji's worlds fell short as his **_byakugan_** picked up enormous amounts of chakra flowing to the girls' hands, more than she should logically have available to begin with. Hinata breathed in once, then released the air slowly as her fingers uncurled, and she had two downward palms before her.

With a loud _fwum_ two blue faces appeared over her arms, the chakra physically manifesting, expelling the air around Hinata at high speed.

" ** _J_ _ū_ _ho S_ _ōshiken_**! (Gentle Step: Twin Lion Fists)" Hinata rushed forward, swinging her arm in a palm thrust, which Neji jumped backward to avoid, but she followed him, bending like a reed in a current. He began counter-attacking, but every time he made a move to strike her, she would bend backward or sideways, sometimes kicking out her leg to maintain her balance. He had to admit, begrudgingly, that she did look graceful while she beat him to a pulp. Finally he'd had enough, and jumped back some ten feet, before planting his feet, and leveling his arms, palm-up, at an angle down his shoulder.

"You are within the area of my divination," he ground out, preparing to end it. Only for Hinata to take a similar, but adjusted pose, her chakra lions disappearing in a flicker of blue.

" _ **Hakke Rokujūyon Shō**_! (Eight Trigrams: Sixty-four palms)"

" _ **Shugohakke Rokujūyon Shō**_! (Protective Eight Trigrams: Sixty-four Palms)"

 **Competitor's Balcony**

With a shout Naruto gripped the railing so hard, a loud squeal came forth from the metal.

"HINATA YOU IDIOT!"

"What's the big deal?" Shikamaru asked, straightening. Whatever set Naruto on edge was not good.

"She hasn't mastered that move yet! If she does it wrong, she could seriously hurt herself!"

"What exactly is it?" Temari asked. Rock Lee, strangely, just stared down at the fight wordlessly, an intense stare on his face, his mouth set in a hard line.

"It's a variation on the Hyuuga technique of sixty-four strikes. Instead of attacking, it's meant as a defensive barrier. It takes incredible amounts of chakra control and flexibility."

"Never heard of it," Kurotsuchi scoffed nonchalantly.

"That's because Hinata made it. Just like her _**J**_ _ **ū**_ _ **ho S**_ _ **ōshiken**_. The difference is, she's mastered the Lion fist, if only just." all the time, the blond hadn't taken his eyes off the arena, nor his gloved hands from the railing.

 **Back to the fight**

For several seconds, no-one could see a thing. Then, finally the dust cleared, to reveal both Hyuuga flat on the ground, covered in numerous cuts and chakra burns. Hayate stared for several moments, before raising his hand to declare a double-knockout, only to hear a groan. He snapped his eyes over as his mouth fell open.

Hinata sat up, holding her head.

"Did someone catch the number on that bolder?"

"WINNER: HYUUGA HINATA!" silence reigned for several moments, before thunderous applause broke out, the roar drowning out several outraged cries from the Hyuuga.

Hinata moved to stand up, only to find a black glove in her face, offering help.

"That was incredibly stupid, you know."

"Oh, shut-up Naruto-kun."


	50. Chapter 50: Assault of Awesome

**A/N: MoonbeamsUnicorn: Check your PM's.**

 **WhoAskedYou: Who Asked You?**

 **Fritter: by 'just barely', he meant she'd only recently mastered it, which is how I use the phrase in that context. As in 'just barely' in time for the match. And about the fight being longer, honestly? I'm not good with action scenes. There, I said it. I'm better with character and world-building. Interaction and the give and take of society. I can describe a hundred different versions of Naruto, each unique and complex, all about his looks. But him fighting? I need work.**

 **MysticalLights: like I said, I an't perfect. I make mistakes, and I forgot to add the 'a' to Maito.**

 **Chapter 50: Assault of Awesome**

"I'll give you a free shot," Naruto grinned across to his opponent. Kirotsuchi looked at him quizzically. In the three minutes since Hinata and Neji had been carted off, she and the blond had just stared a teach other. Naruto tapped his finger on his jaw invitingly. "C'mon. Really haul off and slug me. I wanna see what you got."

"You really are an idiot."

"That depends on your point of view," Naruto shrugged. "Some might call a Shinobi allowing a free shot stupid. Others might call it gauging an opponent's strength. I call it an exercise in futility." without another word, but a grin on her face, Kirotsuchi barreled forward, her fist cocked back for a full-power slug. Her pinkish-red eyes gleamed with glee. As her fist connected with the right side of Naruto's face, his head was thrown to the left, and he staggered back a few steps as his hand rose to his jaw, before he snapped his gaze to the girl.

"Very well," he said seriously, all trace of mirth or joke gone from his face. "You have my attention, Kirotsuchi of Iwagakure."

 ** _Spectator's Stand_**

"Oh shit," Asuma groaned as he leaned sideways, placing his face in his right hand.

"What?" Honoka asked, slightly alarmed.

"Naruto's taking it seriously," Kakashi said grimly.

"Isn't that a good thing?" the red-headed woman queried.

"You don't understand," Jozun said, is face set in a scowl as he leaned forward, his hands clasped together, his mouth resting behind them. "When Naruto stops goofing around, nothing good can happen."

 ** _Kage Booth_**

 _"_ Tsk," Onoki grunted. "What an imbecile. No-one should allow their enemies to pull off an attack, no matter how cocky they are. Although I'm surprised he didn't go flying. Kirotsuchi has a hell of a punch."

Hiruzen, meanwhile, was slightly pale, and gazing intensely at the duo in the ring.

 _Don't do anything drastic Naruto._

 ** _In the Ring_**

"Oh, so you're done being a child?" Kirotsuchi taunted. What she didn't expect, was to suddenly have a black gloved hand resting on her shoulder, griping it painfully, as the blond in question leaned in and whispered in her ear menacingly.

"I haven't been a child for years, girl." before she could respond, the wind was knocked from her as a foot buried itself in her gut, launching her across the ring, and into the wall.

"You wanted me to fight you seriously?" Naruto asked rhetorically, his arms spreading slightly in a show of aggression. "Fine. Wish granted. You have my undivided attention for the next five minutes."

Kirotsuchi struggled to her feet, clasping her stomach and wheezing, before slipping into a slightly hunched battle stance. As Naruto took his **_Uzuken_** stance, she sprinted forward, blasting through hand-signs.

" _ **Yōton: Sekkaigyō no Jutsu!**_ **(Lava Release: Quicklime Jutsu)** "

" _ **Suiton: Teppodama!**_ **(Water Release: Water Bullet Jutsu)** " as the seal-less bullet of water tore through the ball of liquid, hardening it, Kirotsuchi found herself internally screaming.

 _He_ _ **HAD**_ _to be a suiton user!_ She was even more surprised when she was suddenly showered by cement dust, and looked up to see her foe looking as though he had just punched her jutsu... with the effect nowhere in sight.

"Funny thing about lava style," Naruto began as he eased back slightly. His face was intense as he glared at the girl before him. "All the techniques are easily stopped by a water jutsu. Unless you have something more to show me, I think we're done here."

 **Competitor's box**

"I Don't think I've ever seen Naruto so tense..." Shikamaru muttered.

"How often does someone stagger him?" Gaara responded.

"I've never seen it."

"Nor have I, and that is why I'm... worried? Yes, I believe I am feeling worry."

"Jittery and feeling like running?"

"Yes, very much so."

"That's not worry, that's fear."

"Oh."

 **In the Ring**

"Like hell we are!" Kirotsuchi shouted, flipping through handsigns once more, before crying out as her hands were crushed in an iron grip, and she was lifted from her feet.

"You think being a Shinobi means flashy jutsu and never retreating? Grow up. There's nothing flashy about what we do," Naruto hissed angrily. "We're assassins. If they know we're there, we aren't doing our jobs. And sometimes we have to step back to move forward. I'd have expected a Kage's grandchild to know that."

"L-let go of me!" Kirotsuchi shouted, trying to free her hands, fear setting in on her features.

"[Oh, Very poor choice of words]." Naruto released the girls' hands, but whipped around in a snap-kick, planting his heel in the girls' side, bending her unnaturally and launching her into the wall to his left. And there she stayed, buried a good three feet into the concrete. As Hayate moved to call the match, Naruto appeared in front of the girl, grabbing her neck and pulling her from her hole, a groan escaping bloodied lips. He held her up and turned to the Kage booth.

"DO YOU SEE THIS ONOKI?! I HOLD YOUR GRANDDAUGHTERS' LIFE IN MY HANDS, AND THERE IS NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!"

"Naruto, that's enough!" Hayate barked. "The match is over!"

"But the fight is just beginning," Naruto growled, still glowering up at the old man. He loosened his fingers just enough to let the girl drop lifelessly.

"What are you talking about?!" just as Hayate shouted at the blond, a loud _BOOM_ echoed forth from the direction of the north gate.

"He's talking about me disintegrating his insolent face," Onoki growled, suddenly in the arena, holding his hands up with a white glowing cone in between the wrinkled fingers.

"Let me guess, you, Oto, and Kumo teamed up to wipe us off the map."

"Good guess, boy," came A's gruff tone as he appeared in a flash of blue, his lightning armor active.

"Oh, two Kage's for little old me," Naruto spat, hawking his sputum at the pair's feet. "You two would use an event of peace to murder innocents and people who have done no wrong."

"YOU WIPED OUT HALF OF MY FORCES!" Onoki screamed.

"And you would have done the same in our place. It was a war, get over it you fucking codger."

"THAT'S IT! _**PARTICLE STYLE: ATOMIC DISINTIGRATION!**_ "

As the cone of light expanded into a cylinder, Naruto prepared to activate his _**Rinnegan**_ to absorb the jutsu, but a shadow landed in front of him, and the blinding brilliance dissapeared into the figure, which resolved itself into Nagato.

"I had it, you know," Naruto said calmly as he stepped even with the red-haired man.

"I know, but what sort of vassal would I be if I let you take the blow?

"The kind that has faith in his leader."

"Kami, do they ever shut up?" Kisame chuckled as he and the rest of the Akatsuki guard appeared in _**Sunshins**_.

"Not likely," Zabuza grunted.

"What is this?" Onoki growled. Naruto stepped forward, putting the group in a loose arrow formation.

"This, you doddering old fool, is the beginning of your worst fucking nightmare," Naruto said, crossing his arms. "Behold, the honor guard of the Uzumaki," with a flourish, he bowed sarcastically low. "Godaime Uzukage, Uzumaki Naruto at your service."

"Konan," Nagato spoke, his baritone ringing forth from his position to the immediate right of Naruto, mirrored as he was by Itachi. "Take Sasori and Kisame to the North Gate and aid the defense. Itachi, you and Zabuza go aid evacuation efforts."

"What about you?" Zabuza snarked as the others left at the Uzumaki Spymaster's orders.

"I stay to fight with my cousin."

"Your warriors are well prepared for this attack, Naruto-kun," came Hiruzen's voice, as he appeared alongside the other two Kage, Asuma, and Gaara.

"They always are, Jiji."

"Kukukukuku, oh Naruto-kun, you naughty boy. You've known about my plans the whole time, haven't you?" Orochimaru rose from the soil to stand beside A and Onoki.

"More or less."

"Kazekage, I'm disappointed in you," the snake Sannin purred. "Turning on me like that, when Konoha's destruction would have benefited you so."

"Betraying allies benefits no-one," Rasa rasped. "And I have my son Gaara to thank for that revelation."

"Enough chatter," A growled, flaring his lightning armor again. "I came here to fight."

"Really now?" Naruto put on a show of exaggerated surprise. "Let's see here, it's you three, two Kage and a Sannin, against four other Kage, an S-Class Shinobi with the _**Rinnegan**_ , an A-Rank Shinobi member of the Guardian Twelve, and a Jinchuuriki. You're prospects don't look good. We outnumber you by four, you idiots."

"Oh, Naruto-kun," Orochimaru chuckled. "You should know I always have a back-up plan." with that, he flipped through seals, and slammed his hands into the ground, which started rumbling, as four coffins began to rise.

"Jiji.. is that...?"

"He completed that horrendous jutsu!" Hiruzen seemed appalled. "How far you've fallen Orochimaru!"

"Play nice now," the pale man chuckled as the caskets popped open with a _hiss_ each, revealing the contents: four shinobi who shouldn't have been brought back from the dead.

"Wha..." the first, a tall, tan man in red armor with long black hair mumbled as he looked around in confusion.

"Where am I?" the second asked, looking fairly odd with his pompadour haircut, wispy moustache, and lack of eyebrows, brought together by his high-collared pinstripe jacket.

"Is this Konoha?" a feminine voice asked, drawing a look of pure shock from Rasa's face.

"No..."

"Oh, lovely," came the sardonic voice of the last person, a blue-armored man with silver hair and red markings on his face. "My mistake of a creation is used to resurrect me."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Naruto groaned as he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Saru," noted Senju Tobirama, looking around and seeing his student in his black battle armor. "You have aged. And who are these others?"

"Now, now," Orochimaru chuckled, pulling out four Kunai with special tags on them. "None of that."

"NOPE!" Naruto shouted, making only the half-ram seal with his left hand, before stomping the dirt. A massive seal array lit up around the arena, before a curved dome of blue light materialized over the battle section, cordoning off the fourteen combatants... plus the unconscious Kirotsuchi. As soon as the barrier fully erected itself, Orochimaru's sealed kunai began to melt, along with every other bit of metal inside. Naruto tossed off his useless tanto and katana, and removed his quickly deforming arm guards. The Senju brothers stared in fascination as their armor melted and reformed repeatedly, and the Snake Sannin glared at the blond teen. Naruto cocked a smirk at him.

"I'm guessing you know what will happen if you pull the Kusanagi out inside this barrier, huh?"

"The Kusanagi is a legendary weapon."

"Forged by the Uzumaki," Naruto pointed out. "As most legendary weapons nowadays seem to be, aside from the five holy tools, but they've been lost for generations. Odd how the stamp of my clan is on so many products that people swear their lives to, and yet no-one thought about what they'd keep if that was what they gave away."

"An Uzumaki?" Hashirama grinned brightly. "Hello cousin! How fares our sister clan these days?"

"We've been mostly wiped out, if I'm honest, Shodai-sama," Naruto said politely. Pure shock blasted across the man's face. "In fact," Naruto added with a sly grin. "IT was attacked by the very people you've been summoned to fight beside."

"Oh shit..."

"What are you concerned about, snake?" Onoki asked.

"Uh... I... may not be able to control Hashirama if he decides to fight against us."

"What?"

"Without the override seal, I don't have a mindless zombie, but a fully functioning shinobi in his prime, with endless chakra."

"You're shitting me," A growled. Then all three flinched violently when Hashirama turned around, fury on his features.

"Tobi," he snarled, his younger brother snapping to attention. "Break your contract, as well as the other two. Dispel all three of you."

"But..."

"Now!" the dark-haired dead man roared, causing his silver-haired counterpart to cower, then flip though handseals, before planting his palms on the other two summoned shinobi, causing them to crumble, before he himself fell to ash.

"Hashirama-sensei?" Hiruzen asked cautiously.

"Young Uzumaki," Hashirama said quietly without turning around, his glare fixed on the three before him, who were sweating. "What happened to my wife?"

"Mito-sama passed some time ago, sir," Naruto said delicately. "She lived to a grand age of one hundred and fifty-two, before she... chose her successor."

"I see... then, pray tell, what are you capable of, young man?"

"I am adept in all seven nature releases, I utilize the Uzuken,"

"To devastating effect, I might add," Hiruzen added.

"Thank you, jiji. And I have the Uzumaki Manifestation Kekkei, as well as being a tier twelve seal master, with the added note of being the fourth fastest person alive today."

"And how are you able to use all nature releases?"

"I hold the _**Rinnegan**_ , sir, as does my cousin Nagato here to my right."

"What can you do with those sacred eyes?"

"I can mechanize my body, repel or attract items at will, absorb chakra and jutsu to replenish my own reserves, summon animals who also carry the eyes, and thus share my field of vision, extract somone's soul to gain intel, and resurrect the recently dead."

"Why is he saying all this in front of his enemies?" a whispered-growled to onoki, who went pale.

"Because he knows he won't lose."

"Anything else I should know?" Hashirama asked calmly.

Naruto shifted nervously, then stepped forward and tugged on the taller man's sleeve, asking him nonverbally to lean over to have his ear whispered in. Hashirama obliged, his stare never leaving the nervously sweating trio before him, who were trying to figure out how to GTFO. A moment passed before Hashirama stood straight.

"You carry a great weight for one so young, child. I understand your desire for secrecy." Naruto sighed a bit. "However, I will need you to utilize those... particular abilities here in a few moments, with consent, of course."

"But, sir..."

"Young man," the Shodaime Hokage cut him off sternly. "Would you rather face ridicule or death?" Naruto sighed dejectedly.

"Yes, sir. I'll lower the barrier so I have room." Hashirama merely nodded as the blond formed a tiger seal, then stomped his foot once more. "If I may have moment?"

"AS IF!" all three of his foes shouted, moving to rush the boy, only to be winded as rods of wood slammed into their guts, propelling them back. As they landed, more wood sprouted, wrapping their wrists, waists, necks, and ankles, lifting them from the ground.

"The boy asked for a moment. It's rude not to grant a childs' last wish in his home," Hashirama said darkly, shadows falling over his face.

"Jiji, take the others and go help the defense..."

"But, Naruto-kun..."

"Please, Jiji. Shodai-sama and I can manage here." Hiruzen stared at the boy a moment, before nodding gravely. He strode up to his grandson, knelt to his height and hugged him, joined quickly by Asuma.

"Stay safe, Naru."

"No promises, tou-chan." with that, and a grave salute from Nagato and a nod from Gaara, the group vanished.

"Are you ready, young man?"

"Yes, sir." without another word, A, Onoki, and Orochimaru were released, looking as though the were about to flee.

"I wouldn't," Hashirama said. "We all know the boy and I can catch you. Might as well stay and fight."

"Let's do this," Naruto said grimly, slamming his fists together as golden light expelled from his body, illuminating and blinding the three before him. When they gained back their sight, before them stood a golden sun-god, black markings thick as a kunai is wide, covered his body as golden flames flickered in a wreath about his person. They looked to his face, seeing his whisker marks had darkened and thickened, and his crystal blue eyes were replaced by a hateful red, his pupils in the shape of slits as he glared them down. They looked stunned, then panned over to Hashirama, hoping to beg for mercy, only to find him with black lines around his eyes, signifying his use of Senjutsu Chakra.

"How long can you maintain that form?"

"Not very long, sir. I don't have much practice, and Kura is loathe to share even enough for five minutes."

"I thought you said you were friends."

"Even friends disagree sometimes." the first Hokage went misty-eyed for a moment, a grim smile spreading across his face.

"Indeed they do."


	51. Chapter 51: Indestructible

**A/N: So no-one wants to try guessing the quote? Damn.**

 **DarkHuntressxir: yo! Nope, he literally just didn't want to announce to the world he was a Jinchuuriki.**

 **TigrezzTail: Sandaime Mizukage and Gaara's mom. Also, to be fair, outside of battle, Hashirama IS a bipolar ditz.**

 **Chapter 51: Indestructible**

 _Another mission, the powers have called me away_ _  
_ _Another time to carry the colors again_

Naruto and Hashirama both sprinted forward simultaneously, moving in a scissor drive as a team, as though they'd worked together for years instead of just meeting.

But, in the back of his mind, Naruto felt the call of strength, the temptation that drawing on Kurama's powers always brought.

 _My motivation, an oath I've sworn to defend_ _  
_ _To win the honor of coming back home again_

Naruto bit his lip slightly, focusing on his oath to protect his family, his friends. His Nindo. He didn't care that Kurama's power was washing over the village, causing widespread panic in the defenders as well as the attackers. He didn't care about the look of shock on Onoki's face, nor the enraged growl from A.

 _Damn the consequences,_ he thought. _Time to get wild._ A savage grin came over him.

 _No explanation will matter after we begin_ _  
_ _Unlock the dark destroyer that's buried within_

"We can explain!" Onoki cried.

"Too late for that!" Hashirama raged, moving to punch the old man, but was beaten to it by the golden blur that blasted all three of their foes into the air, shock on their faces, then jumped after them, feral glee written on the teenage face.

" _ **Nine-tails Style: Savage rending!**_ " came a loud shout as Naruto seemed to be bouncing off the air itself, moving erratically around the trio as gash marks and cuts appeared on their bodies, followed soon after by blood, following the trails of the teen's claws.

 _My true vocation, and now my unfortunate friend_ _  
_ _You will discover a war you're unable to win_

_This boy..._ Hashirama thought to himself as he witnessed the savage mauling. _Was born to be a Shinobi... no, he was born to be a Jinchuuriki._

A ratcheted his Lightning armor to the next level, but was still unable to retaliate, the boy was going so fast.

"What hell have I unleashed?"the Shodaime Hokage wondered out loud.

 _I'll have you know_ _  
_ _That I've become_ _  
_ _Indestructible_

Finally, Naruto landed in a crouch, his claws extended, allowing his prey to fall to the ground. Onoki rose, groaning and fired a jutsu at the brat, hoping to end him.

" _ **Particle Style: Atomic Disintegration!**_ "

Hashirama watched as the Jutsu obliterated the ground in a arc, then continued on, dismantling the wall behind the blond, but when the light vanished, there he stood, completely unscathed.

Naruto began laughing.

 _Determination that is incorruptible_ _  
_ _From the other side, a terror to behold_ _  
_ _Annihilation will be unavoidable_

 _"_ Is that the best you've got?"

Onoki gazed on in horror, unable to comprehend how the boy was alive. He should be goo.

Orochimaru and A eventually rose, wobbly-kneed and weak, before gazing fearfully at the boy before them.

Naruto smirked and lifted both hands as two more hands made of the golden Chakra formed from his shoulders.

"Well then," he said with a grin. "My turn again." his eyes flashed brightly once more, the red irises bleeding black from the edges.

 _Every broken enemy will know_ _  
_ _That their opponent had to be invincible_ _  
_ _Take a last look around while you're alive_

"He's... a monster..." Onoki cowered slightly. The trio looked at each other, wondering what they'd gotten themselves into.

"If we survive this," A started. "I'm never coming near this village ever again."

"Agreed," the other two spoke simultaneously.

 _I'm an indestructible_ _  
_ _Master of war_

Four crimson-gold weapons formed in the blond's hands, two katana, and two bo staves. The trio wasn't sure which set to be more afraid of.

"Oh, don't worry," Naruto chuckled darkly. "You won't survive."

He moved forward faster than any of them could blink, only to stop right in front of them, his head cocked to the side.

 _Another reason, another cause for me to fight_ _  
_ _Another fuse uncovered, now for me to light_

Naruto heard a faint cry of pain that sounded familiar. Too familiar.

His pupils contracted to barely visible black lines as he snarled.

Then, he vanished.

 _My dedication to all that I've sworn to protect_ _  
_ _I carry out my orders without a regret_

A golden blur appeared and resolved itself into a teenager before the Kumo nin who was standing over a woman in her twenties with a broken arm, huddling over a young brat with an overlong blue scarf.

"Move twerp."

"Oba-chan, you ok?"

"Naruto-kun?"

Naruto could hear the pain in her voice from her broken arm, and he snarled. Just as the Kumo shinobi jumped forward with a tanto to stab him, he swiped with all four of his weapons, slicing both the man's legs off, and breaking his neck from both sides with his bo, decapitating him.

"No-one," Naruto said coldly. "Hurts my family."

 _My declaration, embedded deep under my skin_ _  
_ _A permanent reminder of how it began_

Naruto rubbed his shoulder absent-mindedly as an old scar flared up a bit in pain.

"Never again."

 _No hesitation when I am commanded to strike_ _  
_ _You need to know that you're in for the fight of your life_

 _"_ Naruto-kun!" came a surprised shout from the left. Naruto looked over to see Hiruzen rushing toward him. "I thought..."

"Something more important came up."

"I see... well, if you're available, Asuma-kun could use some help at the North Gate."

Without a word, Naruto blasted off northward.

Enemy Shinobi in the general direction began to shiver, confusing those fighting them.

 _You will be shown_ _  
_ _How I've become_ _  
_ _Indestructible_

A crater formed when Naruto landed, blasting back several dozen Shinobi of both sides.

"ONE FUCKING PERSON?!" One Konoha Shinobi shouted in a rage. "WE GET ONE FUCKING PERSON AS BACK-UP?!"

"One is all we need," Asuma said as he gaped at his son.

 _Determination that is incorruptible_ _  
_ _From the other side, a terror to behold_ _  
_ _Annihilation will be unavoidable_

"Tou-chan," the authoritative voice rang forth from the golden figure, still facing the recovering enemy forces. "Take everyone and get back to the second line. I'll handle them."

"You can't handle all of us alone kiddie!"

"I'm never alone," came the calm response as several hundred shadow clones popped into being, all grinning, all ready to rumble.

"Ah shit."

 _Every broken enemy will know_ _  
_ _That their opponent had to be invincible_ _  
_ _Take a last look around while you're alive_ _  
_ _I'm an indestructible_ _  
_ _Master of war_

As the last enemy fell, the golden Aura around Naruto finally flickered out, leaving a blood-soaked teen amidst a field of corpses, looking around calmly. He flicked his gaze to the gate to see a dozen more Shinobi cowering as he turned his eyes on them.

"I'll give you to the count of four to get out my sight and back towards your own villages."

He didn't even get to one before they all skedaddled.

"FULL RETREAT!" came shout from a few blocks over, reverberating through the streets. Naruto glanced over to see Orochimaru and A, who was carrying an unconscious Onoki, leaping over the rooftops toward the gate. Orochimaru's arms looked severely burned and he was cringing as they hung limply by his sides.

Naruto watched them flee.


	52. Chapter 52: God is in the Rain

**A/N:** **Originally, I had this long-winded note about some of the shite I've been through, but in hindsight, it's just a bit too heavy. On to reviews!**

 **Colbycox0916: Honestly? Just go for it. I find it helps if you have two separate versions of a chapter before you post. The raw, unfinished version that is literally just an outline of ideas, basically stream of consciousness for the story. Then, a refined, edited and streamlined version that you post. If you can find a BETA for the edited version, even better.**

 **Guest: uh... that wasn't a chant. That was a song chapter. The song btw was 'Indestructible' by Disturbed.**

 **Just Retribution: Ho. Lee. Shite. Well, if I earned the review, then it can't exactly be called wasted, now can it? As for a few of your suggestions and gripes, I did realize all of that, but I appreciate the input. There's a lot of things behind the scenes that I don't really write into the story, but connect it all in my head, and I do apologize if that makes it a wee bit harder to follow. I've always been the writer who tries teasing out everything, expositing here and there without people realizing it's an exposition dump. Main point of your I want to address: Naruto's PTSD.**

 **The way I see it, and tried explaining it as, is that even though he does have that support system, the recent stresses he's been going through (ie, re-joining the shinobi force, knowing about an upcoming invasion, trying to manage all his new abilities, etc) have been exacerbating his condition, pulling him back to acute stage. It's rare, but it does happen irl. Small things that separately, aren't too bad, but together feel crushing and painful. As for his leaving for Uzushio, I'll try to appropriately address that this chappie. Finally, the Naruhina: yeah I'm with you, love it. But it's not so much he cared what they thought about** _ **him,**_ **but what they'd think about** _ **her.**_ **He was trying to ensure the best future for his friend.**

 **Sometimes I just have a very difficult time getting my thoughts to come out right in writing.**

 **On an unrelated note, if any of you are writing stories and looking for a BETA, I am always available to help further the cause of leisure reading. I can provide a reference if necessary, and would very much like to help everyone become a better writer.**

 **Chapter 52: [God is in the Rain]**

Rain pelted down in droves as Naruto stood outside Konoha gate. He felt as though the weight of every drop were another mountain on his shoulders.

"We could sneak you in, you know," Itachi murmured, peering out from his straw hat. Naruto merely gazed with dead eyes at the gate some fifty yards in front of him. This was as close as he was legally allowed now.

"It's not what he'd want," the blond replied in a hollow voice.

"I'm sure,"

"Itachi," Kisame cut in. "Leave it. The Uzukage doesn't want to hear it right now."

The entire Akatsuki Guard stood around Naruto, some leaning against trees, others crouching in the branches or on the ground. In the distance, a solemn song cut through the rain, coming from the Village graveyard.

 _They're probably putting his body to the Sarutobi Flame now..._

"Nagato," Konan whispered to the red-head, but not nearly quietly enough. "Why couldn't you or Naruto..."

"He lived a life of no regrets, Konan," Nagato responded softly, staring at his leader. "Naruto-sama couldn't bring himself to prolong it unnecessarily."

"A shame I couldn't get a new puppet out of it," Sasori grunted.

Silence rang true for a moment, before the blond in charge of the rag-tag group spoke up once more.

"You will. We're going after Orochimaru, and we're going to end that son of a bitch." Naruto could feel the sadistic glee radiating from Kisame and Sasori. "But first, we need to rebuild the Guard numbers back to ten. Any word on Kakuzu?"

"He is amenable to a non-hostile sit-down with you," Nagato said.

"Itachi," Naruto said firmly, going into Kage mode. He heard the young man snap to attention. "Head to the main bank, and tell them Shiro Kazuya is withdrawing all assets and holdings effective immediately, as well as closing all accounts." the Uchiha left without a word, walking forward calmly.

"Zabuza, go retrieve Haku, and see if anyone else wants to leave."

"Why would they?"

"Konoha is about to hit a major recession. Don't be afraid to let anyone know that. Especially see if any of my friends are willing to come. But you absolutely, no question, must get Konohamaru. If Tou-chan or Oba-chan fight you, tell them I sent you, and it's for his own good."

"They might not believe me." Naruto grunted and pulled out a scroll.

"Unseal that if they do. It's something only I carry, and they'll recognize it." the Demon took the scroll and started toward the village as well. "Nagato, You're going in to find Karin and Honoka. See if they're willing to come, and if the Mizukage asks, tell her I'll set up negotiations for trading Honoka when we settle. Konan, I want you to go to The clan heads of the Hyuuga, Yamanaka, Akimichi, Inuzuka, Aburame, Sekazu, and Nara. See if they're willing to lend any of their clan members who want a change of scenery. I'm willing to pay for a guard if need be."

"Hai," the duo said simultaneously, and started forward.

"Kisame, see if you can get a campfire going. Sasori, set a perimeter. I don't want anyone trying to get the drop on us now that we aren't protected by Konoha laws."

As the last of his guards set about their assigned duties, Naruto remained where he was, looking at the Village of his birth. Remembering the Council meeting from the day of the Invasion- a day or two ago.

 **Flashback**

 _"And so, in the absence of one carrying the Title Hokage, this council will govern until a suitable replacement can be found_." _the words barely made it through the door as Naruto glared heatedly at the two Anbu members standing guard._

 _"I said move aside, now."_

 _"And I said, we can't do that, you brat."_

 _"Y'know what? Fuck this_ _ **Shinra Tensei!**_ _" as the guards were blasted into the door, which was then thrown off it's hinges, Naruto strode forward with purpose. He felt many stares directed onto him. Every single clan head in the village was present, as well as the Civilian council, which until recently, held no sway anymore._

 _"What is the meaning of this?!" Koharu demanded._

 _Naruto planted his foot on the end of the table, and kicked out, pinning the two elders against the wall._

 _"Shut up and listen. I did not come here to pitter-patter and bullshit. You are going to tell me exactly why the council has taken control, and why you're saying the Hokage is absent, or so help me, I will fucking decapitate all of you and hang your entrails from the Monument."_

 _"You hold no power here_ _ **Genin**_ _," spat on of the civilians. Naruto ignored him._

 _"The next person to open their mouth had better do it to explain."_

 _"Uzumaki-san," Hyuuga Hiashi said delicately. "As of a few hours ago, the council had no choice but to take governence."_

 _"Why is that?"_

 _"He's gone, Naru," came a broken voice. Naruto snapped his head over to see Asuma, looking broken, with tear-marks on his face. "The snake got him from behind with the Kusanagi." the information hit Naruto like a lightning strike, and he suddenly felt nauseous._

 _"But.. Jiji... he can't... he..."_

 _"Hiruzen went the way he would have wished," Shibi said quietly. "As a warrior."_

 _Naruto stumbled back, then bent over, placing his hands on his knees, looking for all the world as though he were about to vomit._

 _"But I saw Orochimaru, as the enemy retreat was called," he panted. "His arms were beyond fucked."_

 _"A result of your jutsu, it seems," Shikaku Nara stated calmly. "The residual traces from your barrier turned on him when he summoned the sword."_

 _"So... he lost it?"_

 _"We have it in custody," Inoichi said with a nod. Naruto took a few deep breaths, then stood straight, regaining a bit of composure._

 _"I'd like to claim it."_

 _"You have no claim on it, demon! As if we'd arm you!" shouted one merchant. Naruto turned on him, thunder on his face._

 _"I HAVE THE ONLY LEGITIMATE CLAIM ON THAT WEAPON OUT OF EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM!" he roared as blood pulsed through his veins. "MY CLAN FORGED THAT SWORD!"_

 _"WHAT CLAN? THE SARUTOBI, WHICH YOU WERE ADOPTED INTO?" the merchant screamed as he stood, pushing his chair back with a squeal. "HOW ABOUT THE GUTTER-RAT CLAN, WHERE YOU LEARNED TO BE A THIEF!"_

 _Naruto fell silent, as did the rest of the room. The man looked extremely smug, as though he'd won._

 _"The Uzumaki Clan," came a new voice from the doorway. Every head turned to see Senju Hashirama standing there, leveling his gaze at the man. "Who helped forge this village, and to whom you owe your lives this day, because of this boy."_

 _"Shodai-sama!" Naruto snapped to a salute. "I thought you'd have dispelled by now!"_

 _"Not so, I had to make sure things were okay before I left."_

 _"Sensei!" Hiruzen's old teammates piped up in shock._

 _"Kami, you two got old," Hashirama said with a grimace. "So, as I was saying. If it weren't for this boy, all of you would likely be dead right now."_

 _"And how is that?" the same Civilian from earlier snarked, apparently not realizing who he was talking to._

 _"He harnessed the power of the Kyuubi to turn away the enemy," Hiashi said calmly. "I saw it myself. He wiped out the strike force in a matter of minutes."_

 _"WHAT?!" came the reverberating screech from almost everyone else in the room._

 _"This cannot stand!"_

 _"Kill him now!"_

 _"It'll kill all of us!"_

 _"SILENCE!" Hashirama roared, cowing everyone to quiet. The man stood rigid, rage on his face. "You would penalize one of your greatest men for defending his home?" The Shodaime Hokage shook his head in disgust._

 _"Now I'm seriously doubting my decision to form this village."_

 _"Yes, well_ Shodai-sama _," the same civilian from earlier said sarcastically. "If that's who you really are, you're dead. You don't hold a voice in this council anymore."_

 _Hashirama glared at the man._

 _"That may be true," Hiashi said. "But he is still present, so we should take his thoughts into account."_

 _"If you kill this boy, you risk hell coming down upon all of your heads. His death would lead to a tragedy never before seen."_

 _"We saw it thirteen years ago!"_

 _"Really? You had multiple **Bijuudama** land in the center of the village? It seems remarkably intact for such an occurrence."_

 _"What the hell is a **Bijuudama?** " asked the Hebi clan head._

 _"It's a large, dark, very dense sphere of Chakra fired from the mouth of a Bijuu. It's destructive capabilities are beyond comprehension."_

 _"Oh, you mean that thing the Yondaime teleported away? It didn't seem **that** bad."_

 _"Consider how far away he sent it, though," Shibi piped in._

 _"Regardless," Homura snapped. "We cannot let this danger remain in our village."_

 _"I motion to exile the rat!"_

 **End Flashback**

From there, the result was a foregone conclusion. The majority had voted for the idea. Only his friends' parents, his tou-chan, and Jozun, had voted against it. Unfortunately they weren't enough.

"Zabuza is on his way back," Sasori said calmly.

"That was quick."

"He also has more than just your cousin."

"Hmm," Naruto hummed. He'd sensed the three extra chakra signatures with Zabby. "Tou-chan, never thought you'd desert."

"I couldn't just leave my kid to fend for himself."

"What about your responsibilites with the Sarutobi?"

"They'll be joining us when we settle."

"Was that always the plan, or is this impromptu?"

"Naru, I know you always intended to bring a few people you truly care about with you. There's no other way you'd be able to leave outside of a body-bag. The Sarutobi just decided the whole family would be on the list."

Naruto smirked a little.

"Goody."

"Troublesome. Naruto, you never do anything by half do you?" Naruto turned slowly, his eyes wide as he beheld the sight before him. The rookie twelve, Jozun and Kisa, and at least half of the Hyuuga clan at the minimum stood before him.

This wasn't an honor guard.

This was an exodus.

Naruto began laughing, throwing his hands skyward, closing his eyes and feeling the skywater fall onto his face. His Jiji's favorite saying came to mind.

"God is in the rain," he whispered reverently.


	53. Chapter 53: Moving Troubles

**A/N: Alright. Lot of love, and I appreciate it guys. However. I am a little tired of getting 'I hope you're continuing this story' messages. I am continuing this story. I am also trying to continue all my other stories. But I do have a life. I tend to have extended leaves of absence from writing for various reasons. I might have writer's block, or I might be working five days a week, and running errands the other two. I get that you guys want more of the story to enjoy. Trust me, I've been there. But constantly telling me how you hope I'm not abandoning it, or begging me to update, does not stop my life from rolling. I work on the stories I have when I can. Please, be patient. On that note, on to reviews!**

 **Novafyre: I managed to somehow not gag at the image, but now I need brain-bleach. So thanks for that.**

 **AmethystPone: A succinct summary if ever I've seen one.**

 **Soulo: Why thank you.**

 **Usedtowrite: I do indeed appreciate it. And thank you for being courteous about it.**

 **And that, ladies and gents, guys and gals, children of aaaaalll ages, is about it for this time round. Questions? Comments? Gripes? Complaints? Leave 'em in the reviews. Also, just an FYI about the reviews. I do, personally, read every single one posted. I just pick and choose which to respond to, usually when I feel it needs addressed. So, if you're worried I won't see what you have to say, fear not citizen! The mighty writey is here to read!... wait... shit I said that wrong. Uhh, quick cut to the story!**

 **Chapter 53: Troubles of Moving, and other Exodus Issues.**

"Naruto, we don't have enough blankets for everyone," Zabuza said as he walked into the tent, a frown on his face. The answer he received was an explosive sigh.

"Of course we don't. Why would we when we're short of food, shelter, and just about every other goddamn thing we need for moving a group this large."

"You'd think Shinobi would consider to bring rations and bedrolls on a journey of any length," Nagato mused from the side of the table laid out in the tent from which Naruto was trying to co-ordinate the move of nearly a thousand people from Konoha to the Ruins of Uzu.

"How many merchants and other clanpeople have joined us since we left?"

"Well," Konan said as she leafed through papers, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. "When we first left, it was the seven of us, plus the girl Zabs brought,"

"Oi!" Zabuza sniped at the nickname, that Naruto had somehow gotten almost everyone else to adopt for him.

"Your dad, cousin and aunt, the eleven other who call themselves the Konoha Twelve for some reason,"

"There's twelve of us and we're from Konoha. Not that hard," Naruto supplied brusquely as he shuffled through yet more papers on the table before him.

"And roughly three hundred Hyuuga clan members. So, given our current head count is nine-hundred and seventy-two... about six hundred some-odd people have joined our little travel train. At least half are civilians, a good portion are from outside of Konoha."

"A rather decent start to a new village, ne?" Kisame chuckled.

"The issue with that, Kisame, is that we're still two hundred miles, a water channel, and a ring of vicious riptides away from the actual village part," Naruto groused. "And unless some of those merchants have ships that can carry everyone AND survive the whirl ring, we're shit out of luck on transporting the civilians to the Uzu ruins."

"Why not build a bridge with you're _**Mokuton**_?" Sasori asked.

"The Uzumaki Whirl Tides are designed through fuinjutsu to destroy basically anything that passes over them under a certain altitude, and if's it a chakra construct, it makes the individual whirlpool that did so stronger," Nagato explained. "Arashi-oji was quite adept at foiling invasion attempts."

"Yeah, Ji-san was awesome. And we're awesomely screwed because of it." Naruto was attempting to not rip his hair out with the stress.

"Why not use the back channel?" came a gravelly voice from the tent entrance. Naruto looked up to see who had spoken,

"Ah, Kakuzu, so nice of you to infiltrate my camp and enter my command tent unannounced."

"We had a meeting scheduled."

"Yes we did, and I do apologize that it's under these circumstances. Now, before we talk business, what back channel?"

"Arashi built a back channel on the other side of the island for emergency evacuations out to sea."

"How do you know about this?" Nagato narrowed his visible eye at the man.

"Because I suggested it to him." stunned silence followed this declaration. "What? I've been around since the founding of Konoha. And the Uzumaki were some of my best customers. Paid quite well for intel and artifacts."

Naruto sighed once more and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"If this is your way of saying we have to pay you exorbitant amounts of cash to ensure your service, I'm sorry to tell you, at this point, we're basically broke. All the money we do have will have to go toward rebuilding once we're on the island, establishing trade deals, blah blah blah."

"Actually," Kakuzu started. "I was going to go pro bono on this job." the other members of the Akatsuki, or what used to be the Akatsuki anyway, felt their jaws drop at this declaration, and Naruto flinched slightly.

"And may I ask why that is, or what you want?"

"First, Arashi saved my life on more than one occasion, so I owe him, and I don't like owing people."

"You do realize he's been dead for upwards of twenty years, yes?" Nagato supplied.

"Debt carries over to living relatives in most cases," Naruto sighed once more. "And since I'm the Clan head and grandson of the last one, any debts he owed or was owed transfer to me."

"Exactly," Kakuzu seemed slightly pleased at the boys deduction, if his green eyes crinkling slightly were any indication. "As for what I want... two things," he held up two fingers to illustrate. "I want to be the one to rip Hidan's heart from his chest."

"They always did hate each other," Itachi murmured from his corner, where he was dozing a bit, leaning back in a wooden chair, balancing on two legs.

"And the second thing?" Naruto asked tiredly, rubbing his shoulder to try to relieve some tension.

"I want to be your village accountant."

Naruto snapped his eyes open to stare at the hulking figure before him.

"May I ask why?"

"You may."

"Will I receive an actual answer if I do?"

"Only one way to find out."

"Alright," Naruto said in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air with a huff. "I'll bite. Why do you want to be my village accountant, as well as performing Guard duties and any other missions I might send you on?"

"Because I'm good with numbers. Because I don't want some stupid brat who thinks he can ensure a village survives based on his math skills to screw over what promises to be a lucrative investment. Because I want this village to succeed, and the best way for that to happen is for me to handle the money."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the goliath before him, unintimidated by his size, his muscles, or his strings as they were shown without his old Akatsuki cloak on.

"Why do you want this village to succeed so bad?"

"I'm half Uzumaki myself, if I'm being totally honest." Naruto blinked at the man in surprise as everyone else seemed to have a heart attack. "Believe it or not, Mito was my half-sister. Mother was raped and had me, didn't want me, left me in what would eventually become Takigakure."

"No Uzumaki would abandon a child like that, even one who was a product of rape," Nagato growled.

"Not strictly true," Naruto said absently. "There's only one reason an Uzumaki who was raped would ditch the kid. It's actually technically a clan law. You're half Shiranui."

"Shiranui?" Konan tilted her head in confusion, speaking up for everyone else in the room.

"The Shiranui were the only clan in history to rival the Uzumaki in terms of Fuinjutsu," Naruto explained. "But they tended to use things like curse marks and slavery seals. They were the Yin to the Uzumaki's Yang. The Dark to our Light. Where we avoided conflict unless forced, they sought it out and reveled in bloodshed. We focused on family, they focused on power."

"The Shiranui were completely wiped out decades ago," Kakuzu stated without a hint of emotion. "I saw to that personally."

"Hmm," Naruto said as he sat down in the chair behind him, which he had neglected until now.

"If he is half Shiranui," Nagato piped up. "We can't let him into our Village. It's against clan law."

"That's true," Naruto said absently, noting the slight flinch in Kakuzu's shoulders. "However, he is also half Uzumaki, and we aren't known for abandoning our own."

"But..." Nagato turned to argue with his young leader, only to fall silent at the glare he received. A glare that could freeze the sun.

"We do not abandon our own, Nagato. On top of that, he personally wiped out the whole clan."

"All seven hundred and sixty-four of them."

"How many children?

"There weren't any. I checked. I may be a blood-thirsty mercenary, but even I have rules."

"Please," Naruto grinned. "Enlighten me on these rules."

"I don't kill anyone younger than fifteen, I never leave a contract unfinished, and I always settle my debts."

"Well, Uzumaki Kakuzu," Naruto grinned, enjoying seeing the man go ramrod straight. "Welcome to our happy family."

Kakuzu started to bend at the waist, but was stopped by Naruto speaking up again.

"Just know if you betray your family in any way, you'll have the full might of two _**Rinnegan**_ , Itachi's _**Mangekyo Sharingan**_ , and the Kyuubi no Kitsune rainign down on your head before you can blink."

"Understood," Kakuzu said, his gravelly voice ringing forth with heavily disguised emotion.

"Now, tell me about this back channel."

 **A/N: Yeah, it's another short one. But I still hope you guys like it. I had a hard time with this one. I'm just... tired, I guess. I don't know. Hopefully next time, I'll be able to make a longer chapter, and throw in some action or something. We'll see. Ja Ne!**


	54. Chapter 54: Someone Who Cares

**A/N: Hey guys! Nope, not dead! Recently (sort of) I had my twenty-first birthday, which I stayed in and slept for, but after that, I've been doing what any emotionally non-existant, control-defunct psychopath who hit that magic number would do! Drowning myself in whiskey and bourbon! Sorry if I made you guys worry, but I've been struggling lately. On the upside though, I got more tattoos. So there's that. And I sat through Harvey about a week later... so yeah. Stuff happened.**

 **: all shall be explained. Eventually.**

 **Im Not Itachi: You aren't senpai. I'm not listening to you.**

 **Sam: :P**

 **SvalbardGirl: I don't speak, read, or understand Norwegian. So sorry for that.**

 **Totalsolution: I understand and appreciate your input. Naruto will get an ass-whopping, from a few people actually, and everyone else will come back in full stop... eventually.**

 **Chapter 54:** **Someone Who Cares**

 _Every street in this city_ _  
_ _Is the same to me_ _  
_ _Everyone's got a place to be_ _  
_ _But there's no room for me_

An almost-four year old crawled out of a dumpster, holding a soggy, moldy half of bread.

"Better than nothing..." he muttered to himself as he sat down, leaning against the dumpster, rain pouring down into the alley to drench the small form.

As he bit into the loaf, he saw a family sitting in a dine-in, the parents on either side of their child, laughing together as they all ate a hot meal. And the moldy bread suddenly tasted that much worse.

 _Am I to blame?_ _  
_ _When the guilt and the shame hang over me_ _  
_ _Like a dark cloud,_ _  
_ _That chases you down in the pouring rain._

"Did Kaa-chan and tou-san hate me? Did I do something wrong? Was I born weird?" the boy ruminated as he slowly munched through his little meal. He knew better than to scarf it down after last time.

"Did I do something I shouldn't have, so they abandoned me?"

 _It's so hard to find someone_ _  
_ _Who cares about you,_ _  
_ _But it's easy enough to find someone_ _  
_ _Who looks down on you_

As the boy sat there, moldy bread in hand, and drenched in [skywater] ( **A/N: this one might be a bit harder, and a lot older, but kudos if you know it.** ) he saw people passing by in the street outside his alley, many of them sending small glares his way, and spitting in his direction as they passed.

 _It's not what it seems_ _  
_ _When you're not on the scene_ _  
_ _There's a chill in the air_ _  
_ _But there's people like me_ _  
_ _That nobody sees so nobody cares_

During the day, when Naruto was playing with the few friends he had, they would pass right by his alley, where another, older man was rifling through the dumpster, and they wouldn't even notice him.

"If you wait till five, they throw out all their old food," Naruto said simply to the man, before he ran after the small group who played with him out of pity.

 _Why is it so hard to find someone_ _  
_ _Who can keep it together_ _  
_ _When you've come undone?_ _  
_ _Why is it so hard to find someone_ _  
_ _Who cares about you?_

Naruto was curled up in a quiet-ish corner of a brothel in the red-light district, sobbing silently to himself, so he wouldn't disturb anyone. He didn't want to get kicked out, because it was raining again.

A hand patted him gently on the head for a moment, before moving on. One of the girls showing a moment of kindness for the boy who sometimes slept in their den of debauchery.

 _I swear this time it won't turn out_ _  
_ _The same 'cause now I've got myself to blame_ _  
_ _And you'll know where we end up_ _  
_ _On the streets that is easy enough_ _  
_ _To find someone who looks down on you_

"You little demon!" a haggard-looking old woman shouted as she chased a little blond boy with a broom. "This is the last time you deface my property! You can't stay here anymore!"

"But jiji paid for a whole year!"

"I don't care! I've had enough of you and your fucking paint!"

With that, she slammed the gate to the residence shut, effectively and loudly proclaiming Uzumaki Naruto as homeless, once again.

He could feel the villagers' smug pride and disdain for him drilling into his back. He stuffed his hand sin his pockets and began walking away.

"Didn't wanna live with termites and rats and cockroaches anyway."

 **A/N: a break from the current narrative, to try to get me back in the flow. Now, obviously I don't own the song (Someone who cares by Three Days Grace), and I cut out the chorus, because I'm lazy and didn't feel like thinking up scenarios for every single chorus line.**


End file.
